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All Posts Tagged as 'Crapfun'
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Charlton Heston played a super cowboy that had no time for women frivolities. His frivolity is mad at him because all he ever wants is sex. Karen Black is the girl who gets fucked a lot because she loves a man that wont commit. Wait until she sees what happens to the plane. Karen Black was naturally unhinged, vocal, a badge of courage under unwilling circumstances and an extra effect. She battled both sides of her conscience making it jittery. What it lacks in effects, it makes up for with tension. Gloria Swanson was onboard to play herself, Norma Desmond. Linda Blair was paid to lay down and listen to lesbian folk songs. George Kennedy returned to bark. Erik Estrada played a married horny pig. Christopher Norris was sparkly. The male comics were silly. TG disaster struck. 31-May-2023
When pristine horror gets blood splattered, it resonates. AI has become a substitute for jobs that were once revered by the original occupant. Humans. Live shows, movies, tv, music, computers, phones, news, robots, etc. Each performance shaping the community they want to live in. M3GN has many faults but protecting a child was a built-in priority. A grieving child with no parents, structure or stability will succumb to the charms of a robot if you make her look and act like a best friend. Aunty creates M3GN and other incredibly expensive robotic toys that probably belong in a mansion. Her new invention is going to cure parenting and loneliness... moving the child farther away from a heart beat. M3GAN is a beautiful creation, maneuvered rightly, timed perfectly and a show stopper. The more M3GN claimed the child the more motherly aunty became. Flaws can be overlooked when the value of entertainment is so high. Perfectly cast and remembered. Fun as fuck! I wished she had killed more. As long as creator and monster are liable, human parenting will diminish. I am one of those children. My mother's name was television. I'm sure somebody's heard of her. 22-May-2023
Still sweet. 04-May-2023
S2E5. The focus is on getting Big Man and Mama Bear back to the mutant cubs they've created a family with. We believe as they believe that if they don't get their kids back that life is not worth living. The effects are unintentionally hilarious when conveying the beauty and gift of a special child. That mole rat thing is a cute concept poorly executed. The effects aren't Grogu appealing. The children are Lost Boys, the crocodiles are humans and the magic is religion and perversion. It succeeds in holding our attention until the hugs, through violence, become fruition. It shifts from adult doomsday affairs to wonderland realities but somehow they coalesce because the soul is in the right place. That's admirable. Please upgrade Netty Flix tech. 02-May-2023
A pandemic has caused mass human destruction. The world is granted new life by hybrid child animals that are immune. The hybrids are thought the cause of the perish and are hunted to death, experimented on or socially excused. Baby Doe Boy loses the father that kept him swirling in fantasy and safe. Ultimate daddy bear is introduced along with others as they interconnect with doe boy's big adventure to find his mother. The boy is naive and wondrous to a world that hates him because they don't know him. He's so cute. So he thinks. Nonso Anozie has man tearing hands and squishy hugs. It's violently sweet. 07-Jun-2021
It zipped through chapters as if only one page was allowed for each. They wasted Ingrid Bergman's haloed face and Susan Hayward's whiskey voiced bad girl. 19 year old governess develops feelings for a grandpa daddy, his perfect boys and ailing wife. The boys become attached and she becomes like family. She weaves in and out of their lives spanning years of separation. She returns to some really handsome adult sons and never aging grandpa for no reason other than a promise and bottled up hope. The brothers are fighting the war and a brother has brought a disruption into their home. Susan Hayward is that thing that keeps it chaotic while laughing about it. I didn't know it was a custom, in the 1900's, for women to kiss men on the mouth willy nilly. It was so ahead of its time I couldn't stop laughing. She made out with grandpa or any attractive man or boy that looked her way. She marries one, seduces another and maybe another until it becomes deadly. It squeezed too much history and information to empathize with and the bitch showdown consisted of Ingrid Bergman packing the whore's clothes and maybe shoving her down the stairs. 20-Apr-2023
Reunion. Kwame was looking real fine tethered to his million dollar mink. Was the derogatory remark Marshall used on Jackie, "trans?" How lgbtq of him. Prop Bro You changed his looks but kept Joe's drawl. The gorgeous mad mane was replaced by chemicals that flattened their splendor. He squished a bigger body and he gained an intellectual's beard. He's either hiding his identity, ready to disappear or he's playing Joe's stuntman for the final season of You. Original Joe decided to channel Cuban Pete. All he needed was a sombrero and a set of bongos between his legs. I never realized how much insignificance he applies to the person that couldn't be ladylike. I wanted to be an earplug stuck on a couch listening to the Yous whispering:
OrgU: I'm losing it brother
ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)
OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe) Slap!!!
Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!
The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
OrgU: I'm losing it brother
ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)
OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe) Slap!!!
Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!
The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023
S4E11. Prop Bro You hates strippers, especially unattractive ones. He usually eats them for lunch. When he was in the pool with Bliss he looked like he was imagining what parts of her he would fry first. If he were a serial killer that is. Chelsea kept acting the part even as a hairdresser burnt her hair. She's psychic too, like that pretty terrifying celebrity twink. She immediately pegged Kwame's sister because she was the only black woman to enter the bridal suite. 08-Apr-2023
S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023
S4E9. That lady Chelsea thinks that relationships are about being serviced. Kwame needs to fastball her. Marshall is petrified of vagina. Pretty eyes can't fuck. Jackelina, run! Zach is still property managing his You charisma. TG Bliss is desperate. If a man doesn't want to engage a partner in sex it's because he has an STD or doesn't have a knack for it. Dump. 07-Apr-2023
Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023
The women came to vamp and conquer men that will never satisfy them but hopefully, will keep them barefoot and pregnant with a ring on it. The feminist plan is to train men to lie about everything so the women can feel loved and acknowledged. A man will say anything to a woman for a steady prospective orgasm. It means less outside hookups, more money and lots of family time. The women turned the dating show into The Hunger Games because they hate other women. Hearing women fangirling to idiot things men make up, is disconcerting. The banter appeared read off a corny romance novel or movie, they memorized. When you swoon at bad singing you will regret it. Their were 2 Joes from You. One of them looked like an impassioned third Property Brother. The women that connived for them are not amused. Dude, Prop Bro is the hottest man there. It's okay. The contestants have realized that the purpose of the show is to get married and bear fucking children from all that they desire so they too can make regrettable choices in life. 15-Feb-2023
Tracey Gold scrubbed her good girl identity to become a misunderstood feminist. The character runs away: from home, relationships and deep connections. Gold is a wild kitty playing life like a board game that she controls. Her forgiveness is theft and death. She assumes the identity of a kill to exit town but is tornado'd into becoming her. Shawnee Smith stirred instant empathy by being introverted, persevering, cute, desperate and clumsy. The girls become roommates, make connections, enjoy each other's company as we get to observe them. Mary Lambert directs with minute blood spills and no blows. How does evil get written on your face? She tries to explain that. Shawnee's father was a daddy wet dream for everybody except for the bitch waking him up. Perry King was carved with Kryptonian essence. His Highlander was superb but the tits and gorgeous craggly face were better. Lambert directs an intellectual showdown, the fight was fun TV Trash and Ms. Gold channelled Elizabeth Montgomery to eerie perfection. 11-Apr-2023
Bette's 50s era was full of Lady Davis folklore and drag queen reboots. Lady Davis was forced to compete with herself. A worn out hunk has beef with her husband because he foiled a heist and he's being blamed. Bette is at the height of shifty. She parlays her caricature tics to mixed effects. She is over until somebody fucks with her animal. The feelings reeled a barracuda out of her. The camera decided that Bette's gift was mechanical and that the new way was better. They highlighted her flaws and disheveled her tidiness. The disclosures felt possibly true, Bette's messy art was always entertaining but it's a crappy movie. 10-Apr-2023
Asinine logistics applied to fatherdom for laughs and guffaws. Its savior is not logic but cuteness. You can cuddle with any of these people except the Russian character. 05-Apr-2023
A family is stalked by a presence whilst dealing with infidelity, trust and motherhood. Halfway through, it dishes out answers. We are ready for an anything can happen scenario and it delivers. There were no whys answered but the clues added up. Helen Hunt established intelligence until she was abruptly cut off. Phrogs are homeless people with better digs. The surprises kept coming because we weren't given a fair study of who the characters were. The prequel. 1. Ignore the phrogs. Expose the emotions that catapulted the insanity. 2. Rewind. 3. Study what the characters knew. 4. Fuck phrogs! 28-Mar-2023
There's a tattoo daddy whose tattoos were written with lousy penmanship. There's a perfect Jesus. All Muscle Beauty and No Brawn is a cuddle bunny. My favorite was the gay guy who reminded me of Styles from Teen Wolf. What a good boy he was. 20-Mar-2023
The challenges were poor and juvenile. The team members were melodramatic and aggressively weak. There is a large pot of money to compete for but the show sabotages it by allowing certain teammates to steal from it. The competitors play to whatever devil grants them some money. They have hard luck stories to back up why they might play only for themselves. It's rough out there for a cowboy and his horse. It's a tacky version of Outlast with sexy guys and heart. 20-Mar-2023
Can a mother take responsibility for her son's incapacity to succeed and his desire to violently hurt women like her? Elizabeth Montgomery plays a respected community buyer that doesn't like anyone sullying her corrupt family name. The son has mother issues. She's abrasive and always disruptive. She thinks that if he listened to her that he would become a responsible man. Her son doesn't know how to act like a man because his mother didn't bestow him many survival skills. Beauty, abeyance, avarice and good manners are the best of the few. She approves of nothing the man does or fucks except when she wants to make out with him. The man's anger issues come with. Elizabeth's mother doesn't click until the end when she stops practicing and becomes. She came in eager like Serena and exited like Elizabeth, the good bitch. Dale Midkiff's son was gifted looks to hide his nuts. He didn't have to fake much. There is good cast support. It jams a lot of information that hampered the complexity of the characters but law and order held. 18-Mar-2023
Well-done horror camp concerning a teen babysitting a 12 year old with a crush. An invasion brings forth her motherly instincts and nicely shot panic. Madsen and Warburton were joyous. When the film jumps outside the box, it stalls. It stalls because it didn't have the nerve to enact the obvious. I would've screamed for that. 16-Mar-2023
Jessica Lange tortures Gwyneth Paltrow because she can. Unfortunately, not enough to qualify for Mommie Dearest status. The editing is abrasive and the film has the confidence of a TV movie from the 80s. Schaech is a floral centerpiece and the ladies work it but the movie is melodramatic. 10-Mar-2023
Clark Kent origins with the Kents and baby Zod. There is little explanation to why the kid exists, why he wears a silly costume or goes on a rampage. Elizabeth Banks touches upon the stubborn mother that has only one chance to love a child. 10-Mar-2023
I watched a fair colored version of it. It has no Lucy vibrance but it's preferable. Rich people are game hunting homeless people for $5.00. Homeless man with a magnificent vocabulary impresses one of them into a job. He becomes a butler of a household that is run by women who are vulnerable to masculinity. A woman who despises him is bested by her woke sister. She charismatically barbs with him with mind hate and body lust, good sister becomes insane and mother is madly impressed. Oh no! The maid is getting the flutters. Crap, she likes daddy, too! The mother has a Spanish mentor that eats more than he performs. William Powell hides a secret. He is more astonishing than he appears. In color you could see the twinkle that made women swoon. His elegance adds to it. Carole Lombard kept going in and out of consciousness. The family is wacko. The men are freed and entrapt at the end. 07-Mar-2023
