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All Posts Tagged as 'Crapfun'

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Love Is Blind (2020-) Howl

Forget thighs, we've got some roasted turkeys this season. Nick, you sly dog you, for teaching married eeked out men that they too can enjoy life after blind marriage.

If we have to change so much to maintain a relationship, then what is the point of being ourselves? They should add acting classes to sex education. 23-Feb-2024
E6. Unless Nick Lachey does something drastic, like wear shorts or tights, thigh season is over. Meet and greet was made uncomfortable by three Razzie nominees. Not only was AD not Barbie, she wasn't even Barbie's black friend. Petite means childlike. How could she not understand the reference? Her intense desire to get married trumped it. Clay can recognize that she is beautiful but she doesn't fulfill his type. He played along because it's better than waiting for his mother's social security check to deposit and he gets to eat fine food in paradise for free with a bombshell woman that his dick wont glide into. At the reunion, AD lent all the men her flopping attention, pinpointed her fuck target as Chelsea noticed and put one on her. The most hilarious meet and greet happened to Jimmy, his car salesman pitch, sexy tone and granite (but squishy) conceit, made it obvious to the audience that he was displeased when he saw her. He stopped before sitting to look at the camera directly and threaten it. He lied and charmed but kept giving clues to the viewers that yes, I'm no prince either but I have smooth skin, a cheeky smile, some hair, squishiness, and a pouch that's full. At the group honeymoon, Jimmy focused on AD's chest and wanted everybody to know it but especially AD and his fiancee. The way he approached AD is probably the same way he approaches all scared women wherever he goes. The first red flag was his face because all you can say to it is "what a bad boy you are" and lick his teeth. Laura is the last nominee. She did better than the guys but her compliments flitted by and bit. During the honeymoon she insinuated that fiancee's penis was as big as a baby banana. He pretended not to hear her. I can't wait until she shares the anecdote with the group. If you use gorgeous and beautiful constantly as a description it loses its validity. It's also disingenuous. Jeramy might need evaluation. His immaturity is prepubescent. It looks like someone cheats. The Lacheys must do everything in their power to bring back thighs. Never tell your girlfriends about fiancee's dick. At least two will find it secretly tempting and doable. 17-Feb-2024
S6E1. I was starting to get worried. There were no man thighs worth motorboating. TG Trevor showed up and was appropriately dressed. He knows how to play the game. The male pods' temperature should always be much higher than the women's. Matthew has great talk but is pre-recorded. Clay asked AD to confirm she was a Barbie doll. That damn movie. 19-Oct-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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23-Feb-2024


Trust (2024-) Arf

Finale. It was almost cute. 26-Jan-2024
Trusting strangers, we do it everyday. We have to trust someone for aid to move on. There's a brilliant game to be played but the show hasn't figured it out, yet. Boo, for making the hottest beast walk the plank first-time around. Another remains but he's an asshole. Millionaire got shut out of the villa's bubble and trapped in a snow globe for admitting how privileged he is. Poor thing. Unless he's a plant, it's a chilly thing. The girls and boys huddled with their own. The men were obliged to let aggression lead. The women can't do like men. They have to group and wheedle down as they see fit. They have their eye on a fellow contestant whose skillset includes a seduction of the only man worth fucking. It's ghastly. That white boy celebrated someone's heritage by annoying them with it. The old lady is a Platinum Karen. I hope the producers tip them towards their last nerve. 11-Jan-2024

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Egotistical, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Hilarious, Juvenile, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Revenge, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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26-Jan-2024


Transformers: Rise Of The Beast (2023) ArfUpgrade

I did not invest in the toy as a baby but I recognized the maximals. A Galactus storyline without a shake-up but a re-do. Mr. Ramos didn't calculate a silly side that would make him empathetic and fun. He was too hot to be so serious. The bots are everything. Barbies can't function like bots unless they turn purple. Pete Davison was convincing and sorta funny as a typical black dude with gay bot tendencies.. 07-Jan-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Crapfun, Director Movement, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Relationships, Tight Effects, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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07-Jan-2024


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)  Howl

A sissy charter boarded to incite havoc. Did Captain Sandy plant those dirty towels to force Tumi into authority? Kyle is either hopelessly in love or in big trouble. The new cast has not clicked yet so we give them a pass. Max complained about being underfed so the ladies tossed him in a salad and ate him alive. The man was trying to say, I can eat the same food everyday, if its good. If straight guys want to sexualize females, follow the gays. Sit and watch as they convince the women to do as "he" wants. Shouldn't security be investigating and shutting down a boat with more than one illness? I hope it wasn't the food. 07-Sep-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Crapfun, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Lesbian, LGBTQ, Political, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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25-Dec-2023


Rebel Moon: A Child On Fire (2023) Woof

The handsomest director in Hollywood makes a movie of wonder. It's a what if Star Wars account of what a boy imagines. The movie is crisp and lighting glows with clarification. He brought all the elements but kept it, mostly western. The effects glide, Anthony Hopkins is a beautiful thing, Djimon Hinsou wowed in a semi birthday suit, the alpha bodies were to die for, the story never strayed from its path and the action sequences held. Unfortunately, our heroine was flat, unsympathetic and a cold lesbian killing machine. It was realistic to see a man kick the shit out of a woman, threaten rapes of virgins and pretty straight boys and for races to exist as different societies. Snyder recreates scenarios oft repeated and makes them look bright but not all the senses can see. 23-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Crapfun, Cultish, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Director's Touch, Drama, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Pretty, Retread, SciFi, Squish Alert, Tight Effects, Tough, Western, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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23-Dec-2023


Merry Little Batman (2023) Arf

The main vocals were experimenting and setting themselves apart. Actors don't have to sound like another actor's iteration but they must ponder the psychology and physicality of their characters to achieve evolution. Batman and Joker sucked. Poison Ivy passed by a hair. Joker plots to steal Christmas a la you know who, Batman is indisposed but his child can become him to save Gotham. The action was rollercoaster, the art was crude and the meaning got lost. 17-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Animation, Bad Acting, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Disappointment, Grating, Macho Posing, Psychological, Repetitive, Silly, Stupid Funny, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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17-Dec-2023


Golden Bachelor, The (2023) Woof

Fuckboy! 01-Dec-2023
Daddy couldn't help himself from trying the new luggage he won on Let's Make A Deal. He showed Leslie how wires helped him move around the house and bestowed on Theresa, only sexual regard. 20-Nov-2023
Daddy gold was forced to walk and run, though I believe the run was CGI'd. Gerry was very vague when discussing how he felt about Theresa to her grandchildren and daughter. When he eye fucked Theresa's daughter she reacted like she liked it. I'm sure she wasn't listening to anything he was saying because he was saying that he wasn't in love with her mother. Either he let the cat out of the bag or he's a better actor than I thought. I ponder why Gerry is called Gary when it should be Jerry. 03-Nov-2023
Palmer didn't eyefuck anybody because he wasn't alone with them. Oh well, there's still paradise. Is the show on realtime? Do they walkie talkie what the public thinks to the producers? They made daddy walk. He only walked a few steps but every time he asked to walk a girl out he was holding on to them for dear life. When he opened the car door for a dumped, the producers rigged his suit jacket to hold him up. Good wire work. If talking about your ex on a first date is rude, why does it get a pass in old age? We found out that daddy is not made of gold, he bruises whenever a woman he doesn't care for touches him. Maybe, she's made of fire. 27-Oct-2023
What pickle ball means: Age deteriorates the quality of the vegetable, but rarely causes them to actually become unsafe for consumption IMO. Pickling is used to preserve foods and in the environment of brine, they last pretty well forever. That said, the texture and flavorings are going to get funky after a couple of years. 20-Oct-2023
Whilst the ladies were slapping old man's balls our daddy gold was sitting. When he appeared on an ATV he sat throughout. He made out with any lips that came towards him, sitting down. The rose ceremony took much longer because daddy had to sit after every rose. He pretended to be a gentleman but we know the handicapped woman helped him walk out. That lady whose daughter was getting married as she was clapping balls didn't give two shits. Mother is not a title but an action. I'm sure the son-in-law was relieved she wasn't there to fuck up his wedding. Becoming ill was karma. Not telling women playing I've Never... that she was milk intolerant was like going to an orgy and having sex with everybody whilst knowing you have crabs. Captain Sandy with a wig has munched on ladies before but is a bottom, now. A judge Judy superfan told another contestant to ziploc her joy. 20-Oct-2023
I tuned in because I wanted to survey the old hunk. There is no way a 72 year old can look that good. He's handsome, a people pleaser, tastes like Spanish Fly and wants to fuck. He proved his age when it took him about twenty minutes to put on his shoes. Good editing. Wink, wink. There were no Goldiggers amongst the 20 but I noticed a few madams and ex whores. Including younglings would have created the tension women of that age experience. Most of the elder women were loopy, defining an era that's no longer safe. I like Ellen. I don't know why but I do. One of the women looked like Captain Sandy in a black wig, the Maude impressionist was kicked out, Jesse eye-fucked the bachelor and I felt grandpa's burden. Every time he votes out an eccentric aunt, America will judge him. "The man is dumping grannies!" 30-Sep-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Cliche, Crapfun, Creepy, Drama, Enthusiastic, Mat, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Timid, Trashy, Warbly, Weird, Writ Funny

Filed under: TV

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01-Dec-2023


Scream VI (2023) Woof

Exactly what I didn't expect, in a place I wouldn't think of. 16-Nov-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Cheeky Acting, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director Movement, Drama, Fun, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Psychological, Relationships, Revenge, Sequel, Star Watt, Twisty, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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16-Nov-2023


Bachelor In Paradise (2014 - ) Arf

The producers made daddy Palmer look like one of the weird kids from The Polar Express. His eyes didn't move, they dialed down the light, the sparkle and he started looking through people, not at them. My apologies, sir. 12-Nov-2023
Oh no! I think the show is on realtime. The new girl said Brayden looked like Johnny Depp, nobody threw anything in the ocean and worst of all, they restricted daddy Palmer's cornea movements! No more eye fucking. They cut away just as soon as tears started to stream down his face. 04-Nov-2023
Mr. Palmer is a faithful husband. He only eyefucks men. It was fun to see Wells eat his burrito, though. Somebody looked like they were going to join a supremacist group after getting dumped. Brayden is a pirate that has all the women aflutter. Can all the girls fuck him and dump him so I can stop obsessing about him? Were asses covered up because they pooped themselves or because we might get excited? Yo, you can't be the fairer sex if you believe everything a man says. Kat's birthday cake looked nasty. Why are these people allowed to throw anything into the ocean? Doesn't she know that Flipper can get diabetes? 28-Oct-2023
Woohoo! The Palmer eye-fucked the newbie in an episode where not much happened. If you're demanding honesty from a man, don't do it like Kat. She hates the truth. 23-Oct-2023
Brayden's beauty suffers intense consequences because he can't deliver. Sean looks like a dream prince that Dreamworks dreamed up. There is no rational reason why Will should act sensitive when being dumped. Aaron needs to butt fuck his girl so she can stay regular and alive. She is a walking testament of why travel sucks. Wells is a cute package that the contestants keep unwrapping. He was icked by the baby incident and masterclassed he wasn't. He gleamed for Dreamworks but was bored with pretty head yet bounced back for latino flair. The theme is past promises made to people they weren't attracted to and the people who can't accept it. Jesse Palmer hasn't eye-fucked anyone and that's worrisome. They're so good. Men only! The thighs are wide, the legs are nice, the men have bite, are succulent and falling apart for trying to make someone else happy. Is this how toxic masculinity is created? 18-Oct-2023

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Chemistry, Choices, Cliche, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Gay, Good Acting, Grating, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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12-Nov-2023


Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse (2023) Woof

I've never met a Puerto Rican that talks like Miles. Even though he's half the race he would never retain his father's accent because no Puerto Rican mother would allow it. He lives like a Puerto Rican. By the way, we are more than platanos and empanadas. We also love pork, rice, fried everything, chicken, fish, beef, chinese food, lasagne, pizza, anything and beans. If the father is black and the mother is Puerto Rican where did the Morales name come from? Bad Bunny, Ricky Martin and Izzy from Love is Blind S5 are great examples of Puerto Rican speak. At least when white people did it they tried to sound like us. Peter Parker sounded like a dork flake. The first half abused a soundtrack that distorted musicology. It played like a 45 on repeat. Keeping up with the psychological speed was phenomenal, the art was crisp and when the musical score interrupted the playlist, it didn't suck. If your child itches, this is a classic, the others might become anxious. 02-Nov-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Animation, Cliche, Comic Book, Crapfun, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fatigue, Open Ending, Over the Top, Romance, SciFi, Sentimental, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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02-Nov-2023


Chucky (2021-) WoofUpgrade

Jake Wheeler is becoming quite a twink daddy. Devon Evans is aging in reverse. He looks like a kid. Lexy is gutsy without a personal life to lift her up. Jennifer T. and Jennifer C. need to battle for best bitch titles. The writers toned down Jennifer's character and shenanigans and she beams because of it. Devon Sawa has the best character, up to-date. I kept seeing Sawa's name on the credits but couldn't match him to his character, until now. Wow. You mean he was the hot method actor who plays the President? He is as precise in his acting as the puppeteers were on Chucky. The lip sync is perfect, different movements are being explored and the bastard is as funny and wicked as ever. The focus of this season is The White House and aging. Love it! 03-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action Fun, Art, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hilarious, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Nostalgic, Over the Top, Scary, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Trashy, Twinkie, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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27-Oct-2023


Fall Of House Of Usher, The (2023) Arf

I understood the excuses but I didn't get the obscurity. The finale was a realization of how much of a merry-go-round the production put us through. The Final Destination kills should have ascended from that. When you add magic to horror it teeters on fanto realism. It made my head overload...with questions. Where was Lenore when daddy redecorated her mother's room? She asks to see her mom 5 days later? I believe one of the Dupin's got taller? Bless you, Sir Hamill. Once his character clicks we look forward to seeing him again. The mumbo jumbo accommodated what was easiest for the storytellers. The merry go round speeds up, there are few surprises but the cast and dialogue are superb. What fabulous creature is Gugino's character supposed to be? Is Pinhead her boss? I hope it's the girl one. 21-Oct-2023
SE5. There are so many crisp performances to marvel at. The story captivates but the horror aspect diminishes it. Whenever he gets a vision, we realize how the next victim will die. Stretching the story doesn't mean much if it once ended up in the trash because it contained too much information. The flashbacks are served nilly willy. The saboteur has no meaning but I love her. Poe's themes are observed but not acknowledged. When a creator succumbs to the title of the story he is manipulating things to fit not click. 20-Oct-2023
S1E2. Succession musical score adaptation is too blatant and soon to describe rich family hierarchy. The actors play it well but the characters are as interchangeable as their sexual proclivities. The scares are great ideas that are poorly executed. The mother's beginning is a testament of that. It should be scary but it's not, it didn't grip or create empathy. Flanagan name drops everything but the art he's pilfering. The story does not flatter Gugino and her character is beyond mysterious. I heard Hamill do a Joker laugh and I was amused. Flanagan still hasn't figured out how to shoot in the dark. The admirable parts are the ones created by accident. 19-Oct-2023

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Good Dialogue, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Horror, I wish it could look better, Music Rocks, Overcooked, Predictable, Relationships, Revenge, Sex, Star Watt, Suspense, Vague, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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21-Oct-2023


Super Mario Bros. (2023) Woof

A rush of good memories that sweetly explode in your mouth. 26-Jul-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action Fun, Animation, Camp, Cheeky Acting, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Crapfun, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Good Voice Act, Pretty, Star Watt, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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26-Jul-2023


Fear In The Night (1972) Arf

Angelic training makes a wife susceptible to malice because they are mentally unstable. Legends of art accelerated the drama. The table turn was sweet and the film wasn't a horrible waste of time. 22-Jul-2023

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Disappointment, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Horror Mild, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Silly, Suspense, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: Movies

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22-Jul-2023


F4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (2007) Whimper

I'm not sure but I think they neutered the Silver Surfer. I remember having seen the film during it's time and I noticed one. I don't forget crotches. The whole feels cheaper. Johnny lost his appeal and became vapid. Sue Storm continued to be listless and unheroic with a crappy blonde wig. Kerry Washington's blind brick lover was under-appreciated. The Thing was sort of plastic. Mr. Fantastic's powers were mostly comic relief and unbelievable. When Torch gains extra powers, it's fun but when "you know who" returns as Dr. Doom all is gloom. Galactus was a no-show because nobody knew how to incorporate a bigger thing than god into the real world. Really? A Galactus that was bigger than Thanos sitting on a throne commanding his slave, Silver Surfer, to destroy so he could feed, is brilliant. 17-Jul-2023

Tags: 2000s, Action, Art Devoid, Cheeky Acting, Crapfun, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Good Idea, Over the Top, Physical Humor, SciFi, Timid, Timid Effects, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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17-Jul-2023




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