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All Posts Tagged as 'Crapfun'
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Joe Millionaire: For Richer Or Poorer (2022-) 
The unbalanced black flat chick ended her rage after it was discovered that she was too mentally unwell (she spoke truths that insane people don't want to hear). White people like to have fun. They don't whine if their hair frizzes up like their foe. They just reinvent it. The latin mother is so obsessed with her conquest that it feels like she has a cartel up her ass forcing her to do so. Adios. My pecker is like a compass and the needle is not pointing to either Joe. Can we bring original Joe in? He may be a hideous bear now but I'm sure he can still make slurps sing. 23-Jan-2022
It took two bachelors to add up to one Joe Millionaire. The original's historical "slurp around the world" was magnificence. My pecker picked the poor one until I got to know him then I switched. Tarzan hair is fun but he's such a pendejo. He has no sexual entitlement. Cowboy Cheeky is fuckable in a Chucky kind of way. He has a bubbly ass. In my day, they would have called the contestants, escapees from mental institutions. A desperate "housewife to be" decides to wear the same dress as another contestant. Neither chose to "rock" the shitty dress and left it up to the millionaire to decide which tacky slut filled it the least. It depends how gay the men are. Black girl gets drunk and starts feeling used. She goes on a rant. White girls are not having it so they plot. Mothers of America. Shame on You! You've turned your daughters into dumb sluts competing for basic. Original Joe hands. Classic. 10-Jan-2022
Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022
A bunch of "could haves" combine business interests with personal relationships. The scheme collapses as soon as a "could have" becomes an "almost." The group may be responsible for creating a Beyonce but Beyonce owes them nothing. The commonality is that all the victims have been emotionally denied by someone important. The babies get lots of attention and money for doing very little. They are the future prostitute. Head twink is going ballistic because his partner is becoming famous and he's looking older. Connive he must. A bowl of white pretty boys, a plate of girls swooning and mouthfuls of queer things exaggerating everything, are the shared focus. Gay bleached boy calls out trans bestie for acting black on social media even though he's black and acts Puerto Rican. His gay friends are white who act black and can't be bothered with full drag. The trans pays to make her fantasies come true but is the loneliest. She can't afford to be real. The babies live in fear of cancellation. The pretty white twinks rule the roost with confidence and the thought that they will eventually get cooked, burnt and flamed out. No success in the world can replace the scars their families placed on them. It's the kids turn to tell parents how they're doing. "Yo, they fucked up and we're going to tell the whole world." If they're not happy now, they never will be. These are the great grandparents of the people Adam Mckay wants to save. Ha! 08-Jan-2022
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021) 
Venom is nothing without that spider boy splitting his ass in half. How fortunate that Tom Hardy has a dick-breaking ass. Venom's and Tom's duality don't combine. There are attempts to bring them together but talking to green screens is all it is. I imagined a wraparound as opposed to a pop out. I was aghast at how youthful and beautiful Mira Sorvino looked then realized with humiliation that it was Michelle Williams. Michelle got rid of the haughty accents, loosens up and shakes her sourpuss. Reid Scott was a supportive adorable dunce. I thought Stephen Graham was a Walhlberg doing a bad imitation of a better Wahlberg. Woody Harrelson was channeling an old white woman from the 1950's out on her last stroll. Go nuts, daddy! The film has no purpose except to destroy and sell but it has stupid entertainment value. I liked Asian Venom, they gave us a hint at Lady Venom and didn't dare realize a Drag Queen Venom. Why not? 07-Jan-2022
It was a spectacular low-budget showcase with a supreme cast and some artistic expression. The legends reminded us how they became, how time forgives and that they can still entertain. Fisher added pepper to her words. Sometimes, overly, with a sting. She made a legend apologize to her parental legend for being a treacherous whore bestie who stole their daddy. Elizabeth did it and it was a beautiful moment. Deep, full and roomy describe "broad." The film's walls were made out of gingerbread though and the icing kept sliding. The com got sticky. I didn't care. I loved hearing legends call each other whores. It made me feel human. 20-Dec-2021
S1E3. The gay bestie is the only man that gets pretend husband right. Jack was the clown stereotype that exploded. Karen hadn't evolve but she was super bitchy. Grace and Will's beautiful relationship ends when the other sucks the other's partner off on a whim, just like in real life. 10-Dec-2021
Facts Of Life/Different Strokes Live (2021)
No one studied character like Ann Dowd but everyone did their part to make it fun. 10-Dec-2021
The mythology exploded into bits. The Frankenstein and Gremlins intermingle registered anew. Tiffany erupted into a countess of evil. Our favorite orphans showed and blew shit up. In style. Little gay boys kicked ass. The twists and consequences were ridiculously entertaining. Chucky popped a different pill and surprised us. He's become a deeper hallucination. I love how his doll legs flail when he's killing someone. He says all the stupid shit we're thinking. He's hilarious. Lip synch has improved. He's fucking awesome. It was a bang with a but. I was not amused by the Chucky Show at the end. 03-Dec-2021
S1E6. Chucky celebrated Mother's Day by being a cruel adult. Black gay boyfriend is sweet. The babies are creating a vibe. Main baby needs to step up the emotion. I can see him staring at the nothing he sees when the director yells at him otherwise. Tiffany tickled. Chucky delighted and the show didn't give a shit. It dared cancel people we liked. That's scary. 24-Nov-2021
Hello Gladys Kravitz. 20-Oct-2021
Chucky's back and he hasn't aged. Tech needs to fix his lip-synching. It's off. Chucky is owned by an angry teen with artistic deficiencies and obscure classmates. Hateful characters abound so we can watch murder without guilt. The teenager walks around with a giant doll throughout the school day and makes it home safe. WTF? Chucky supplied giggles, guffaws and revenge. Go Chucky! 15-Oct-2021
Scoob wasted little time visiting memory lane. Shaggy almost lost me when he ate the meat that Scooby dragged across the city's streets. Shaggy's voice doesn't crack enough. Scooby's diction has cleared up and he's become an Avenger. The visits from neighboring toons are a nice touch but are not properly integrated into the Scooby mythology. It's origins taught kids how to unmask the monsters in their lives and fight back. The movie missed that point. They sure were cute, though. 28-Nov-2021
An unaccomplished masterpiece disguised as a fraud. The fright was fraught with reason. Background was eerily traced. Twinks were luminescent and Linda Blair never flinched but the budget limited its art. 04-Nov-2021
Lesbian writer moves into a fully staffed mansion that quits once "The Bat" killer strikes town. Some of the pestilence Agnes Moorhead has to rid her mansion of is the Queen of Horror, Vincent Price. "The Bat" killer has only one claw. They couldn't afford a seamstress? Silly shenanigans aside, it's about a famous artist on the down low living a glorious life with her lover as her maid. Brilliant. That part. 02-Nov-2021
Too Hot Too Handle: Latino (2021-)
Latinos in heat. Charbroiled. 01-Nov-2021
Boy genius, pal robot and single mom move to a new town. Boy makes friends, robot becomes creepy but boy finds "where his heart ought to be." Bullies, pranks, killings and deaths erase his best friend and "where his heart ought to be." He puts the robot chip into girl brain and revives her, except "where his heart ought to be" is hollow. She is overprotective, wifed and destructive. There is no balance as to which mentality is winning. She's a killer robot. The movie's charms outweighed its incomprehension. Anne Ramsey rained Halloween as a tormented neighbor who hated everybody. Matthew Laborteaux kept things hairy. Kristy Swanson kept things calm. Wes Craven signed it. The basketball was everything. It's stupid trash with enough bits of imagination to create enjoyment. 20-Oct-2021
American Horror Story: Red Tide (2021)
S1E7. There's more? 08-Oct-2021
Lily Rabe wrecked, little girl spooked, Paulson shred and daddy twinkled. The script focused on family, cohesion and consequences. It scared me. I'm either the mother, the bag lady or both. 19-Sep-2021
DOUBLE FEATURE. Finn Witrock returns to form, being candy you want to wrap. Macauley Culkin belongs. I was perturbed by Sarah Paulson's bagging. I don't want to see her like that. Mistress Conroy and mentor Peters orchestrated sumptuous personas. Lilly Rabe's support status (hardly there) hindered her from punching the end. It's haunted house shenanigans in a very weird town. It feels and moves like a classic episode that only conjures a memory. 29-Aug-2021
I'm young enough to remember playing it but too old to retain character backstories. When the legends come to life it jogs the memory and its cool. The action brutalizes your senses and makes you feel guilty for releasing with it. The story and dialogue try to zap the fun out of it but the techies keep throwing water on it to keep the spark going. 09-Sep-2021
