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TV Posts Tagged as 'Crapfun'
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S1E6. The hostess melted ice like climate change and gave a grieving contestant a much appreciated mom hug. Sweet. 09-Jul-2023
S1E5. Our European brethren don't fuck around. Fright and overreaction. The moment the couples landed on Lost Island they were jittering, twitching and sweating for things that they already had. The show separates partners into Venus and Mars locations, presuming Venus is for bottoms and Mars is for tops or they could be trying to trick us and its the other way around. The object of the game is to observe footage of their frolicking partners on another planet and guess whether the footage was real or faked for cash. The reactions were so hysterical that I stopped snoring so I could laugh. Latinos invented drama by spelling it. The first time they go into the White Room, they are shown footage of their counterparts in real or inappropriate interactions. Things get dicey when the real clips got racier than the fake ones and the tricks are on them. The test doesn't want to fix the relationship but the individual. Why does the gay couple only get one temptation? I'd expect two each, at least. The hostess is a chillmeister. The contestants were crying hysterically after watching shocking footage and instead of being motherly she pushed them to answer if they thought it was real or fake. She's the only one that got wardrobe money, too. 08-Jul-2023
Married At First Sight UK (2015-) 
Reunion. I was put off that Hades and his minions had ceased to judge then I realized that not all foreign reality shows are made in the cryptic depths of Australia. The black judge is either gay or giddy. Jordan thinks that his supremacism won't show if he romances the same black subject five years later. George escaped from the Arkham Asylum. No George, you cannot control this chick because you can't sexually satisfy her. Kwame has James Bond issues. The lesbians are happy with any kind of pussy, even if it doesn't eat dog food. Hey judges, gay men can marry sisters but they fuck men. The pronoun starts with cis. If the lesbians can get one with a bow tie we can get one lousy butch. They exist. They made us. The supremacist stopped the show by being supreme. He dumped a weighty issue by adopting a more politically correct one. Thou mustn't abuse the power called race. We're running away together, bitch! If you complain you'll sound like a racist because she's black! Instant GET OUT OF JAIL card. 16-Jun-2023
Still sweet. 04-May-2023
S2E5. The focus is on getting Big Man and Mama Bear back to the mutant cubs they've created a family with. We believe as they believe that if they don't get their kids back that life is not worth living. The effects are unintentionally hilarious when conveying the beauty and gift of a special child. That mole rat thing is a cute concept poorly executed. The effects aren't Grogu appealing. The children are Lost Boys, the crocodiles are humans and the magic is religion and perversion. It succeeds in holding our attention until the hugs, through violence, become fruition. It shifts from adult doomsday affairs to wonderland realities but somehow they coalesce because the soul is in the right place. That's admirable. Please upgrade Netty Flix tech. 02-May-2023
A pandemic has caused mass human destruction. The world is granted new life by hybrid child animals that are immune. The hybrids are thought the cause of the perish and are hunted to death, experimented on or socially excused. Baby Doe Boy loses the father that kept him swirling in fantasy and safe. Ultimate daddy bear is introduced along with others as they interconnect with doe boy's big adventure to find his mother. The boy is naive and wondrous to a world that hates him because they don't know him. He's so cute. So he thinks. Nonso Anozie has man tearing hands and squishy hugs. It's violently sweet. 07-Jun-2021
Reunion. Kwame was looking real fine tethered to his million dollar mink. Was the derogatory remark Marshall used on Jackie, "trans?" How lgbtq of him. Prop Bro You changed his looks but kept Joe's drawl. The gorgeous mad mane was replaced by chemicals that flattened their splendor. He squished a bigger body and he gained an intellectual's beard. He's either hiding his identity, ready to disappear or he's playing Joe's stuntman for the final season of You. Original Joe decided to channel Cuban Pete. All he needed was a sombrero and a set of bongos between his legs. I never realized how much insignificance he applies to the person that couldn't be ladylike. I wanted to be an earplug stuck on a couch listening to the Yous whispering:
OrgU: I'm losing it brother
ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)
OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe)
Slap!!!
Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!
The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
OrgU: I'm losing it brother
ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)
OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe)
Slap!!!
Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!
The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023
S4E11. Prop Bro You hates strippers, especially unattractive ones. He usually eats them for lunch. When he was in the pool with Bliss he looked like he was imagining what parts of her he would fry first. If he were a serial killer that is. Chelsea kept acting the part even as a hairdresser burnt her hair. She's psychic too, like that pretty terrifying celebrity twink. She immediately pegged Kwame's sister because she was the only black woman to enter the bridal suite. 08-Apr-2023
S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023
S4E9. That lady Chelsea thinks that relationships are about being serviced. Kwame needs to fastball her. Marshall is petrified of vagina. Pretty eyes can't fuck. Jackelina, run! Zach is still property managing his You charisma. TG Bliss is desperate. If a man doesn't want to engage a partner in sex it's because he has an STD or doesn't have a knack for it. Dump. 07-Apr-2023
Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023
The women came to vamp and conquer men that will never satisfy them but hopefully, will keep them barefoot and pregnant with a ring on it. The feminist plan is to train men to lie about everything so the women can feel loved and acknowledged. A man will say anything to a woman for a steady prospective orgasm. It means less outside hookups, more money and lots of family time. The women turned the dating show into The Hunger Games because they hate other women. Hearing women fangirling to idiot things men make up, is disconcerting. The banter appeared read off a corny romance novel or movie, they memorized. When you swoon at bad singing you will regret it. Their were 2 Joes from You. One of them looked like an impassioned third Property Brother. The women that connived for them are not amused. Dude, Prop Bro is the hottest man there. It's okay. The contestants have realized that the purpose of the show is to get married and bear fucking children from all that they desire so they too can make regrettable choices in life. 15-Feb-2023
Tracey Gold scrubbed her good girl identity to become a misunderstood feminist. The character runs away: from home, relationships and deep connections. Gold is a wild kitty playing life like a board game that she controls. Her forgiveness is theft and death. She assumes the identity of a kill to exit town but is tornado'd into becoming her. Shawnee Smith stirred instant empathy by being introverted, persevering, cute, desperate and clumsy. The girls become roommates, make connections, enjoy each other's company as we get to observe them. Mary Lambert directs with minute blood spills and no blows. How does evil get written on your face? She tries to explain that. Shawnee's father was a daddy wet dream for everybody except for the bitch waking him up. Perry King was carved with Kryptonian essence. His Highlander was superb but the tits and gorgeous craggly face were better. Lambert directs an intellectual showdown, the fight was fun TV Trash and Ms. Gold channelled Elizabeth Montgomery to eerie perfection. 11-Apr-2023
There's a tattoo daddy whose tattoos were written with lousy penmanship. There's a perfect Jesus. All Muscle Beauty and No Brawn is a cuddle bunny. My favorite was the gay guy who reminded me of Styles from Teen Wolf. What a good boy he was. 20-Mar-2023
The challenges were poor and juvenile. The team members were melodramatic and aggressively weak. There is a large pot of money to compete for but the show sabotages it by allowing certain teammates to steal from it. The competitors play to whatever devil grants them some money. They have hard luck stories to back up why they might play only for themselves. It's rough out there for a cowboy and his horse. It's a tacky version of Outlast with sexy guys and heart. 20-Mar-2023
Something tells me that most of the men and half the women, would have found a perfect match had they cloned Francesca. Abbey decided to strip the thighmaster of his crown and knight him a dick. 02-Mar-2023
A questionable sex partner sort of dumped Francesca. Yippee! He did it so he could stay and torture the fuck out of the man inside her. In the last aired episode he shaved his body to look more like a bitch. A gorgeous virgin who promises sex only in marriage is mandating that a partner suffer poor sex for the rest of their lives. He's not a lover, he's your brother. 24-Feb-2023
They should give camera people a special award for rewarding viewers with juicy thigh shots. The party started as soon as the Thigh King twitched in his shorts. They were everywhere. I haven't caught up yet but I hope somebody dumps Francesca. All she's doing is trying on different dicks. Like they were dresses at a bargain basement store. That poor sad flat black boy. 22-Feb-2023
Wherein privileged American ladies travel abroad and are shocked that their toxic love speaks other languages. Mirko's storyline profiled him as a panty shredder. That was such a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rip. 02-Mar-2023
The thigh king made a slight return and nobody thought to make the reunion a pool party. The eye king also made a return to apologize to his foreign partner for being wildly attractive. Trust no man who proposes a second time like you didn't hear him the first. A girl with no mothering capabilities surmised that her children will be small because her husband's dick is. Brennon's game is not wholesome. 15-Feb-2023
No one recognized that Bartiste is the thigh king. I know daddy looked like Pebbles Flintstone but to me he was a Bam Bam Rubble. I wanted to pull it and give him a back bath. Cole showed off his thighs too. As if. The females called Cole a good guy then tore him apart in the description." "You fat shaming hoochie fucking dirty ass broke lying motherfucker evil spawn of satan with dreamy eyes." The women were so supportive of each other that they made Cole cry. Putting Vicks on the tips of his fingertips and rubbing his eyes worked. Colleen was petrified to look Cole's way. She did it in the intro and ticked uncontrollably away. She saw those eyes. Yikes. I think she might have wet herself again. If she did that means that she suffered the whole hour without a diaper change due to the lack of commercials. Guess who's available to fuck somebody's wife? Dude, she lives alone! 09-Nov-2022
The show wastes the contestants and their guests' time by planning a fake wedding in the hopes of both parties saying yes? How humiliating. Nick's idea, wasn't it. 08-Nov-2022
S3E8. Would the thigh king agree to abort a future serial killer? No one should have the audacity to bear humans that can't exist without immense help. A lot of these kids can't communicate how they feel. We interpret how they feel. How do we know they're not saying, "I hate you, I hate you". Where's daddy? Is he working his thighs again while I suffer in pain? Yo, barbecue pork is giving the king a run for his money. What a beautiful fuck roast. Bartiste can shed some hair on Andrew's cloud puffs. Brennan looks like that but can't make any money? Ooh. Colleen was not at the club 'til 2:30 in the morning, she was washing her panties. They take forever to dry. They got wet from all the attention Cole was giving her. Both Matt and Cole were more argumentative with their fiancees than they were with each other. Their confrontation was bullshit. Matt really said, "please, I'm begging you, don't fuck my wife" and Cole said, "I won't" but thinking, "I'm gonna fuck your wife". Raven is going to regret taking an Ambien. She's gonna be woozy afterwards. Raven should have paired herself with the other thigh master if she wanted to live comfortably. We know he's a super daddy because he continuously spit it in everyone's face. Fuck other people on the side and go shopping. 06-Nov-2022
S3E7. You must become blind if you want to find love. Bartiste has cheating pork thighs, Cole has fuck all the girls silly eyes, Matt has kick your ass for being a slut ticks, Brennan's eyes turn black when nobody is looking and SK is an Ambien pill (30 minutes in your system before it knocks you out). It's about immature women that read fairy tales as children and believe them. For men, it's a "How To Pick Up Vulnerable Chicks" guide. Lie, lie, lie. 06-Nov-2022
Varnished and re-imagined high school where everything gay is constantly celebrated and everything questionable is consoled. The younglings are obsessed with sex. They think that clutching their sexual identity helps them improve as people. It doesn't. It makes them egoistic and addicted. Darren dresses up as a french female prostitute because it enables his gayness to fly free. He's just a cunt who lashes out at his father for no reason and has disregard for what's really causing his misery, himself. Hooray for Cash for not wanting a free seat on the sexual compulsive train. Amerie is the main trainwreck looking for love where sex keeps appearing. Harper is the selfish beauty that treats her sexual tribulations and her friendships with more sex. Dusty's beauty defines him. Spencer is the only boy speaking a man's truth and getting punished for it. Malakai declares he's black. His black is lighter than mine and he has straight hair. I'm either Jamaican or maybe my mother is right and I'm white. He's cute though. In lesbian couples there is always one that is level headed and another who suffers from mental maladies. The principal reminds me of Karen Black after the African doll possessed her. Sex ed is a punishment for youths who already practice it more than the adults teach it. The pleasure of teenage suffering. 31-Jan-2023
S2E3. Luke is banished for having sexual thoughts about a girl that mentally promised him a blowjob. Women are warriors and baby factories, not sexual beings. That's what the LGBTQ community is for. Paige allows her lover to go bonkers because he would dump her for being a disobedient slut. Dumping the asshole would be female empowerment. Oooh, Kyle has love handles. He's squishy. Yum. I bet both sides taste like butterscotch. Kory is looking for a relationship that will adorn him in pearls. I know of a few straight men that can pretend to be his uncle. 13-Jan-2023
It stayed true to tradition and didn't end with a bang because they yucked it up with mumbo jumbo. Ryan and Co. are gone, lets' show them what we can do. Everything except reigning it in. Add a little magic over here, irony over there and a preach or two around the corner. Charlie Carver's observations as a writer allowed him to present real gay dilemmas. That's a great contribution. The ladies brought depth, strength and full watt. The Brian De Palma glow, was class. Art shouldn't have to explain itself, though. It just is. 04-Dec-2022
Ryan & Co. serve enough gay meat to feed a Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The stories intertwine nicely. Gay is not what it's cracked up to be. We live life waiting for our perversions to be rewarded. It never happens. I have to disagree with the politically correct's hate towards cops. In my day there were good cops and bad cops, like Jedis. A lot of the time, the good cop was gay. I am thankful for that. You almost want to look away every time that smart begins a story because a shitty end awaits it. Russell Tovey peaks our interest with egg-shaped ears, ass encapsulation and making it overwhelmingly and illegitimately hard to listen to a foreign accent without cumming. Zachary Quinto is wolfy and orgasmic. Charlie Carver epitomizes an innocent victim. Joe Mantello is the kind of daddy you want to breathe a moment of life into. Isaac Cole Powell is a body you can only dream about. I know they are going to fuck it up but I'm going to relax and enjoy the ride. 25-Oct-2022
How a good person can be lead to kill. Stanley Tucci is elegant and perceptive as a death row inmate who helps investigate and solve crime. Atkins Estimond supplies "Watson" cuddliness. David Tennant spirals like a rabid dog. The wife is a frantic lunatic and the tutor is the "Karen" that's asking for it. It flourished in the beginning when we were blinded by its freshness but once we analyzed the idiocy of it all, it didn't make much sense. The deductions are grabbed from thin air, some of the reactions are not reasonable and by the end I was irked. Why didn't they just burn the stupid thing? Why did the pervert have to be mentally challenged? All of my perverts had normal capabilities and didn't freak people out. Why are perverts granted mercy but "Karens" are unforgivable? Who gives their perverted porn to a vicar? Your mama don't want it in the house, smash it to smithereens. Yes, anyone can become a killer but many others don't. They are called good dead people. 05-Nov-2022
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-) 
When will men learn that women don't want to have kids with bald heads and hairy backs? It's off-putting, especially if they turn out to be girls. The only way to prove a gay steward a liar is to film it. Shouldn't the pronunciation of Mzi be Mitzy instead of Zee? The captain only popped out at opportune moments. Example: "the gay guy is going to call that nosey girl a bitch. Listen, wait, then pop out." I want to see the chef's eyes turn black when he's banging a chick. He has "You" type relationships with the boat, crew and that chief stew casserole. 17-Oct-2022
Deck Jason was belittled for confusing" being himself" with "honesty." 21-Sep-2022
The crew dressed like Guy Fieri and I didn't get it. Why the big boobs? A strange dick in a gay's mouth fixes his teeth but makes his job performance wonky. If a gay boy unzips in a woman's face it's not sexual harassment. If a strait man compliments a gay boy's ass it's an honor. Ex-new boyfriend of chief stew is worried that ex-new girlfriend is thinking of the chef's dick every time she sees him. He needs to helicopter in and remind her what a tasty dick looks like. The captain keeps seeing the same dirty spot after a few sips and not. Natalya snitched on her boss (not-twin) and stew Whoopsy. The captain called them pigs and Whoopsy exclaimed that Natalya had opened the fish market. What the hell is that? Is that a new gender? 12-Sep-2022
Lesbians in charge still can't incorporate a hot male crew member. Trust me, the sex jokes would be less offensive. Captain Sandy does not hit things when she has a few sips. A gay steward gets a tooth infection when there is no constant dick in his mouth. I can't tell those brunette stewards apart. If I were Captain Sandy I'd make one of them cut their hair. 15-Aug-2022
Cinematic art ceases during wind down when Ryan's team inserts modern politics into the victims' families' mouths. Little sympathy is garnered due to the hypocrisy that they expect the police to protect them but be hands off if they themselves commit a crime. You can't have it both ways. The sandwich inspired its most chilling scene. The addition of another gay monster killer paralleling the present one is terrifyingly well done. Evan Peters never lets go of his disguise, Richard Jenkins slaughtered, unrecognizable Molly Ringwald had moments, the actor who played Jesse Jackson was eerie good and Niecy Nash's character stayed too long but she remained great. In the end, everyone exploited a man who felt alive in killing because he was invisible through life. It's a disservice to the victims if we don't learn to protect ourselves from it instead of denying it. Dahmer had the last laugh. He is ever more present and his surroundings are all but invisible. 27-Sep-2022
S1E4. Evan Peters takes us inside a gay serial killer's monster bubble and he gives the impression that his art will be popping iteration balloons for years to come. Niecy Nash is that bossy bitch neighbor that's always in people's business that no one wants to hear but gets politically redeemed by being the right amount of bossy. Nash holds the note a second too long but her character sings. Richard Jenkins used craft in telling the story of a parent that feels pain for raising a monster. Michael Learned reminded me of mama Walton but later, vanquished it. She embodies the bitter old woman that supports you to be whomever you want as long as its made up at church. Did she inspire his racist thoughts? The show obsesses over bloody squishy things instead of sexy, kinky things. I hope it switches. Man's true nature is exposed during sex. At that time, the community agreed that he was scary as fuck because we would have fucked him...and died. Only a victim can describe a monster and only a monster can describe his family. The series proclaims that mothers should not have children if they are mentally suffering, a weird child best ignored is not a happy child, a grown father dissecting animals with his gay kid encourages human devastation, daddy keeps encouraging human devastation because he can't beat his wife and cops get punished for being sensitive to gays. Evan's thought process is to lay blame on the parents and make himself accountable for the joy that chaos brought him and because only fucked up parents can create such a fucked up kid. 23-Sep-2022
