Movies Posts Tagged as 'Crapfun'
Rating key:
Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)
This should have been Barbie's accompaniment. Pink was all over the place and it was the worst case scenario for one of Oppenheimer's lunacies. The humans didn't fair. Hottle outgrew her innocent adorability and couldn't fake it. Dan Stevens never entered the time machine that I sent him. It was to the Abbey so he could find his star watt. Dude used to make ladies melt and men cry. His adaptation of Chris Pratt from Guardians was cartoonish. Even the originator doesn't know where that fucker is. Brian Tyree Henry played a bug-eyed everyday black person spooked by anything except guns. Rebecca Hall's character remained vanilla and pushed aside. The animal kingdom was magical, naturalistic and smelling like planet of the apes. I dig that Karen Black chick. A Kardashian rules the top of the world and Kong's home is the center. Rappers are attacking them. It's an artistic success even though it's fueled by too much human interruption. 09-Jul-2024
Mean Girls (2023)
A rom-com is conversion therapy for those who don't believe in fairy tales. I saw a handheld camera at the beginning and almost blacked out but then something cute happened. It moved like Grease and had the aroma of a pink lady. It kept me in with mixed results. The music had word limitations and they repeated nonsensical lines that make only cartoon baby sharks squeak. Was no thesaurus available when the music was written? The mean girls were lame and avenged by dorky plans. The cast was bubbly. The lesson was that anybody can be a mean girl. You fix her by allowing her to steal someone else's hot dick to fuck and hope she never calls you again. 10-Jun-2024
Die! Die! My Darling! (1965)
Soon to be married, a people pleaser decides to accept an invite from a mother-in-law that never was. Her ex-fiancee died and she moved on but his mother is still devastated. Mother thinks his ex-fiancee was the cause of his death. Ex-fiancee is in danger and they are making her diet! Tallulah embraced her part like Davis did in Baby Jane and blow-horned it to death. Stefanie Powers was spot-on and rocked great hair. The film is vindictive and cruel. I would have left the moment that maid answered the door. It's a sorta fun drip. 06-Jun-2024
Talk To Me (2022)
Film still has problems easing diversity into a comfortable setting. They act like they're visitors in someone else's home. There are not enough emotional elements to connect the actors together. They are isolating themselves in a crowded room. Diversity always feels like the elephant in the room. Facing it might dispel the awkwardness and grant more entertainment. The lead doesn't supply enough oxygen to let us in on how she may be feeling besides the obvious. Joe Bird, on the other hand, established himself with eye movements and bodily functions. The film succeeds because it thought outside the box and the scares were great. 07-Apr-2024
Transformers: Rise Of The Beast (2023)
I did not invest in the toy as a baby but I recognized the maximals. A Galactus storyline without a shake-up but a re-do. Mr. Ramos didn't calculate a silly side that would make him empathetic and fun. He was too hot to be so serious. The bots are everything. Barbies can't function like bots unless they turn purple. Pete Davison was convincing and sorta funny as a typical black dude with gay bot tendencies.. 07-Jan-2024
Rebel Moon: A Child On Fire (2023)
The handsomest director in Hollywood makes a movie of wonder. It's a what if Star Wars account of what a boy imagines. The movie is crisp and lighting glows with clarification. He brought all the elements but kept it, mostly western. The effects glide, Anthony Hopkins is a beautiful thing, Djimon Hinsou wowed in a semi birthday suit, the alpha bodies were to die for, the story never strayed from its path and the action sequences held. Unfortunately, our heroine was flat, unsympathetic and a cold lesbian killing machine. It was realistic to see a man kick the shit out of a woman, threaten rapes of virgins and pretty straight boys and for races to exist as different societies. Snyder recreates scenarios oft repeated and makes them look bright but not all the senses can see. 23-Dec-2023
Scream VI (2023)
Exactly what I didn't expect, in a place I wouldn't think of. 16-Nov-2023
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse (2023)
I've never met a Puerto Rican that talks like Miles. Even though he's half the race he would never retain his father's accent because no Puerto Rican mother would allow it. He lives like a Puerto Rican. By the way, we are more than platanos and empanadas. We also love pork, rice, fried everything, chicken, fish, beef, chinese food, lasagne, pizza, anything and beans. If the father is black and the mother is Puerto Rican where did the Morales name come from? Bad Bunny, Ricky Martin and Izzy from Love is Blind S5 are great examples of Puerto Rican speak. At least when white people did it they tried to sound like us. Peter Parker sounded like a dork flake. The first half abused a soundtrack that distorted musicology. It played like a 45 on repeat. Keeping up with the psychological speed was phenomenal, the art was crisp and when the musical score interrupted the playlist, it didn't suck. If your child itches, this is a classic, the others might become anxious. 02-Nov-2023
Super Mario Bros. (2023)
A rush of good memories that sweetly explode in your mouth. 26-Jul-2023
Fear In The Night (1972)
Angelic training makes a wife susceptible to malice because they are mentally unstable. Legends of art accelerated the drama. The table turn was sweet and the film wasn't a horrible waste of time. 22-Jul-2023
F4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (2007)
I'm not sure but I think they neutered the Silver Surfer. I remember having seen the film during it's time and I noticed one. I don't forget crotches. The whole feels cheaper. Johnny lost his appeal and became vapid. Sue Storm continued to be listless and unheroic with a crappy blonde wig. Kerry Washington's blind brick lover was under-appreciated. The Thing was sort of plastic. Mr. Fantastic's powers were mostly comic relief and unbelievable. When Torch gains extra powers, it's fun but when "you know who" returns as Dr. Doom all is gloom. Galactus was a no-show because nobody knew how to incorporate a bigger thing than god into the real world. Really? A Galactus that was bigger than Thanos sitting on a throne commanding his slave, Silver Surfer, to destroy so he could feed, is brilliant. 17-Jul-2023
65 (2023)
Dinosaurs are tired, saving a girl that can take care of herself is trope and the science fiction wasn't specifically satisfactory. How many bullets does that one gun have? Why did the girl use all of the bombs? The dinosaurs are typical with little variation. There isn't much more that film can say or do about/to dinosaurs. We know everything. Most action sequences placed me in another's movie with no respect for originality yet it struck as a future cult film. 09-Jul-2023
Babysitter, The (1969)
The wife, the babysitter, the lesbian daughter and her friends are fucking up daddy's high profile murder case. (Father is the assistant district attorney.) The parents are nearing retirement, they have a habit of filling 24 hour schedules so they don't have to look deeply at each other. His wife won't give him any because she has a 6 month old baby. It appears she didn't want another one. She hires a babysitter every night. The babysitter is a groovy chick that understands the dynamics of life. She also understood what men wanted from her. Daddy was a man whose lack of family appreciation drives him to free himself, return to earth and gain some respect. 07-Jul-2023
Fright (1971)
It predated classics that trumped it. It was a template for the future. It was also a piece of junk. It was a film full of ideas that had to bombastically announce them. Michael Myers lived in a multi-verse where Laurie Strode "is" his sister. He kidnaps her, a baby, rapes her in front of the child and recoils until he's horny again. Did she give birth to Michael Myers, Jr. from multi-verse Halloweens? There was a glimmer of Joker's "dance with the devil" choreography. It made babysitting a shitty job. The privileged are forced to hire child haters. The child was adorable even when being manhandled by all sorts of creepy adults. The house is where you want to film it, Susan George didn't need to act and everybody needed to tone it down. 04-Jul-2023
Airport 1975 (1974)
Charlton Heston played a super cowboy that had no time for women frivolities. His frivolity is mad at him because all he ever wants is sex. Karen Black is the girl who gets fucked a lot because she loves a man that wont commit. Wait until she sees what happens to the plane. Karen Black was naturally unhinged, vocal, a badge of courage under unwilling circumstances and an extra effect. She battled both sides of her conscience making it jittery. What it lacks in effects, it makes up for with tension. Gloria Swanson was onboard to play herself, Norma Desmond. Linda Blair was paid to lay down and listen to lesbian folk songs. George Kennedy returned to bark. Erik Estrada played a married horny pig. Christopher Norris was sparkly. The male comics were silly. TG disaster struck. 31-May-2023