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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Crapfun'

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Transformers: Rise Of The Beast (2023) ArfUpgrade

I did not invest in the toy as a baby but I recognized the maximals. A Galactus storyline without a shake-up but a re-do. Mr. Ramos didn't calculate a silly side that would make him empathetic and fun. He was too hot to be so serious. The bots are everything. Barbies can't function like bots unless they turn purple. Pete Davison was convincing and sorta funny as a typical black dude with gay bot tendencies.. 07-Jan-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Crapfun, Director Movement, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Relationships, Tight Effects, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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07-Jan-2024


Rebel Moon: A Child On Fire (2023) Woof

The handsomest director in Hollywood makes a movie of wonder. It's a what if Star Wars account of what a boy imagines. The movie is crisp and lighting glows with clarification. He brought all the elements but kept it, mostly western. The effects glide, Anthony Hopkins is a beautiful thing, Djimon Hinsou wowed in a semi birthday suit, the alpha bodies were to die for, the story never strayed from its path and the action sequences held. Unfortunately, our heroine was flat, unsympathetic and a cold lesbian killing machine. It was realistic to see a man kick the shit out of a woman, threaten rapes of virgins and pretty straight boys and for races to exist as different societies. Snyder recreates scenarios oft repeated and makes them look bright but not all the senses can see. 23-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Crapfun, Cultish, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Director's Touch, Drama, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Pretty, Retread, SciFi, Squish Alert, Tight Effects, Tough, Western, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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23-Dec-2023


Scream VI (2023) Woof

Exactly what I didn't expect, in a place I wouldn't think of. 16-Nov-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Cheeky Acting, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director Movement, Drama, Fun, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Psychological, Relationships, Revenge, Sequel, Star Watt, Twisty, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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16-Nov-2023


Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse (2023) Woof

I've never met a Puerto Rican that talks like Miles. Even though he's half the race he would never retain his father's accent because no Puerto Rican mother would allow it. He lives like a Puerto Rican. By the way, we are more than platanos and empanadas. We also love pork, rice, fried everything, chicken, fish, beef, chinese food, lasagne, pizza, anything and beans. If the father is black and the mother is Puerto Rican where did the Morales name come from? Bad Bunny, Ricky Martin and Izzy from Love is Blind S5 are great examples of Puerto Rican speak. At least when white people did it they tried to sound like us. Peter Parker sounded like a dork flake. The first half abused a soundtrack that distorted musicology. It played like a 45 on repeat. Keeping up with the psychological speed was phenomenal, the art was crisp and when the musical score interrupted the playlist, it didn't suck. If your child itches, this is a classic, the others might become anxious. 02-Nov-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Animation, Cliche, Comic Book, Crapfun, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fatigue, Open Ending, Over the Top, Romance, SciFi, Sentimental, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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02-Nov-2023


Super Mario Bros. (2023) Woof

A rush of good memories that sweetly explode in your mouth. 26-Jul-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action Fun, Animation, Camp, Cheeky Acting, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Crapfun, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Good Voice Act, Pretty, Star Watt, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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26-Jul-2023


Fear In The Night (1972) Arf

Angelic training makes a wife susceptible to malice because they are mentally unstable. Legends of art accelerated the drama. The table turn was sweet and the film wasn't a horrible waste of time. 22-Jul-2023

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Disappointment, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Horror Mild, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Silly, Suspense, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

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22-Jul-2023


F4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (2007) Whimper

I'm not sure but I think they neutered the Silver Surfer. I remember having seen the film during it's time and I noticed one. I don't forget crotches. The whole feels cheaper. Johnny lost his appeal and became vapid. Sue Storm continued to be listless and unheroic with a crappy blonde wig. Kerry Washington's blind brick lover was under-appreciated. The Thing was sort of plastic. Mr. Fantastic's powers were mostly comic relief and unbelievable. When Torch gains extra powers, it's fun but when "you know who" returns as Dr. Doom all is gloom. Galactus was a no-show because nobody knew how to incorporate a bigger thing than god into the real world. Really? A Galactus that was bigger than Thanos sitting on a throne commanding his slave, Silver Surfer, to destroy so he could feed, is brilliant. 17-Jul-2023

Tags: 2000s, Action, Art Devoid, Cheeky Acting, Crapfun, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Good Idea, Over the Top, Physical Humor, SciFi, Timid, Timid Effects, Writ w/Possibilities

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17-Jul-2023


65 (2023) Arf

Dinosaurs are tired, saving a girl that can take care of herself is trope and the science fiction wasn't specifically satisfactory. How many bullets does that one gun have? Why did the girl use all of the bombs? The dinosaurs are typical with little variation. There isn't much more that film can say or do about/to dinosaurs. We know everything. Most action sequences placed me in another's movie with no respect for originality yet it struck as a future cult film. 09-Jul-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Coincidence Laden, Corn, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Horror, Relationships, SciFi, Star Watt, Suspense, Vague, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

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09-Jul-2023


Babysitter, The (1969) Woof

The wife, the babysitter, the lesbian daughter and her friends are fucking up daddy's high profile murder case. (Father is the assistant district attorney.) The parents are nearing retirement, they have a habit of filling 24 hour schedules so they don't have to look deeply at each other. His wife won't give him any because she has a 6 month old baby. It appears she didn't want another one. She hires a babysitter every night. The babysitter is a groovy chick that understands the dynamics of life. She also understood what men wanted from her. Daddy was a man whose lack of family appreciation drives him to free himself, return to earth and gain some respect. 07-Jul-2023

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Cheeky Acting, Chemistry, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Cultish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Sexy, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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07-Jul-2023


Fright (1971) Arf

It predated classics that trumped it. It was a template for the future. It was also a piece of junk. It was a film full of ideas that had to bombastically announce them. Michael Myers lived in a multi-verse where Laurie Strode "is" his sister. He kidnaps her, a baby, rapes her in front of the child and recoils until he's horny again. Did she give birth to Michael Myers, Jr. from multi-verse Halloweens? There was a glimmer of Joker's "dance with the devil" choreography. It made babysitting a shitty job. The privileged are forced to hire child haters. The child was adorable even when being manhandled by all sorts of creepy adults. The house is where you want to film it, Susan George didn't need to act and everybody needed to tone it down. 04-Jul-2023

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Cheeky Acting, Coincidence Laden, Crapfun, Director Experiment, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Loud, Over the Top, Revenge, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Trashy, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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04-Jul-2023


Airport 1975 (1974) Woof

Charlton Heston played a super cowboy that had no time for women frivolities. His frivolity is mad at him because all he ever wants is sex. Karen Black is the girl who gets fucked a lot because she loves a man that wont commit. Wait until she sees what happens to the plane. Karen Black was naturally unhinged, vocal, a badge of courage under unwilling circumstances and an extra effect. She battled both sides of her conscience making it jittery. What it lacks in effects, it makes up for with tension. Gloria Swanson was onboard to play herself, Norma Desmond. Linda Blair was paid to lay down and listen to lesbian folk songs. George Kennedy returned to bark. Erik Estrada played a married horny pig. Christopher Norris was sparkly. The male comics were silly. TG disaster struck. 31-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Disaster, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Music Swings, Relationships, Sequel, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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31-May-2023


M3GN (2022) Howl

When pristine horror gets blood splattered, it resonates. AI has become a substitute for jobs that were once revered by the original occupant. Humans. Live shows, movies, tv, music, computers, phones, news, robots, etc. Each performance shaping the community they want to live in. M3GN has many faults but protecting a child was a built-in priority. A grieving child with no parents, structure or stability will succumb to the charms of a robot if you make her look and act like a best friend. Aunty creates M3GN and other incredibly expensive robotic toys that probably belong in a mansion. Her new invention is going to cure parenting and loneliness... moving the child farther away from a heart beat. M3GAN is a beautiful creation, maneuvered rightly, timed perfectly and a show stopper. The more M3GN claimed the child the more motherly aunty became. Flaws can be overlooked when the value of entertainment is so high. Perfectly cast and remembered. Fun as fuck! I wished she had killed more. As long as creator and monster are liable, human parenting will diminish. I am one of those children. My real mother's name was television. I'm sure somebody's heard of her. 22-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Adorable, Baby Wrecks, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Music Swings, Pretty, Psychological, Relationships, SciFi, Star Watt, Subtle, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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22-May-2023


Adam Had Four Sons (1941) Arf

It zipped through chapters as if only one page was allowed for each. They wasted Ingrid Bergman's haloed face and Susan Hayward's whiskey voiced bad girl. 19 year old governess develops feelings for a grandpa daddy, his perfect boys and ailing wife. The boys become attached and she becomes like family. She weaves in and out of their lives spanning years of separation. She returns to some really handsome adult sons and never aging grandpa for no reason other than a promise and bottled up hope. The brothers are fighting the war and a brother has brought a disruption into their home. Susan Hayward is that thing that keeps it chaotic while laughing about it. I didn't know it was a custom, in the 1900's, for women to kiss men on the mouth willy nilly. It was so ahead of its time I couldn't stop laughing. She made out with grandpa or any attractive man or boy that looked her way. She marries one, seduces another and maybe another until it becomes deadly. It squeezed too much history and information to empathize with and the bitch showdown consisted of Ingrid Bergman packing the whore's clothes and maybe shoving her down the stairs. 20-Apr-2023

Tags: 1940s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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20-Apr-2023


Another Man's Poison (1951) Whimper

Bette's 50s era was full of Lady Davis folklore and drag queen reboots. Lady Davis was forced to compete with herself. A worn out hunk has beef with her husband because he foiled a heist and he's being blamed. Bette is at the height of shifty. She parlays her caricature tics to mixed effects. She is over until somebody fucks with her animal. The feelings reeled a barracuda out of her. The camera decided that Bette's gift was mechanical and that the new way was better. They highlighted her flaws and disheveled her tidiness. The disclosures felt possibly true, Bette's messy art was always entertaining but it's a crappy movie. 10-Apr-2023

Tags: 1950s, By the Numbers, Camp, Corn, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Director Insanity, Drama, Mystery, Over the Top, Psychological, Relationships, Repetitive, Revenge, Star Watt, Suspense, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, Twisty, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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10-Apr-2023


Big Daddy (1999) Arf

Asinine logistics applied to fatherdom for laughs and guffaws. Its savior is not logic but cuteness. You can cuddle with any of these people except the Russian character. 05-Apr-2023

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Predictable, Relationships, Stupid Funny, Trashy, Words Spoke

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05-Apr-2023




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