Movies Posts Tagged as 'Crapfun'
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Disembodied, The (1957)

Mad doctor living in the jungle with his fabulous wife who happens to be a voodoo priestess that wants him dead. A trio of men interrupt their isolation by needing a doctor's help when one of them is mauled. Fabulous wife takes a shine to the protagonist with Tom Holland DNA and impresses him by using voodoo to revive his friend. Conversations lacked cohesion and plotholes were ignored but the natives and fabulous wife made for an entertaining sitting. 29-Aug-2026
Watchers (1988)

Watching part II first enhanced the experience of the original. The golden retriever was still genius but had no relation to the second pooch and was a little less cute. The government is behind a monster predator on the loose who hunts their own brethren which is the genius dog. They have sent a terminator agent to destroy all evidence of its bloody mayhem. I appreciated the monster in the shadows. It was akin to a gorilla not a candle. Corey Haim fostered the dog and established a cute bond. Mother went along in a breezy and adult manner. Michael Ironside was a ticking time bomb. The steps avoided in the sequel is what I liked about the original. The showdown actualized things it never promised. I liked that. 20-Aug-2026
Watchers II (1990)

I did not watch part I because searching might have induced sleep. Corporation is behind a biological experiment that enhances animal intelligence and creates a master to hunt them. The golden retriever stole scenes by being adorable, having human compassion and excellent computer skills. The hunter was an abomination with the characteristics of a melting candle. Master breaks loose and is trailing everyone doggie encountered. Humanity was present, appeal was nice, there were vibes, the dog did good work but the monster sucked. 19-Aug-2026
Marshmallow (2025)

I have no idea why it's titled that. Children roasted on a campfire? Awkward boy is coerced into Summer Camp and is assigned his bully as the only roommate. It was the parents idea. WTF? Did that adult counselor flirt with an underage girl in a bathing suit? A campfire tale turns true for a hero that dreams of water overconsumption and death. More than halfway through I thought to skip it but I wanted to know how the collage of badly executed frights added up. It had a great ending whose road to it was cracked. 18-Aug-2026
Small Soldiers (1998)

Dante didn't decipher the logic that would constitute human behavior in toys programmed to fight an endless war. Idiot manufacturer unwittingly transfers military tactics to child friendly robots to boost sales. Military toys targeting Gorgonites for destruction whose construction consisted of being weak and defenseless monster anti-dolls with hearts of gold. Who's side you pick is the name of the game. The toys were magnificently displayed but the heart was too advanced for our time. The first half was whimsical and cute but the rest was ICE versus immigrants action buffoonery. 16-Aug-2026
Woody Woodpecker Goes To Camp (2024)

Stupid funny for a lazy afternoon. 15-Aug-2026
Mortal Kombat II (2026)

Super-powered action, simplified storytelling and amiable actors. Mr. Urban's Aussie accent is sorely missed but he's still proficient at delivering quips, face muscles and hair. Bringing back the dead confused. If they can resuscitate you after you die why bother? Is that the point? Because they can? Fight is all that mattered and it's where the film excelled. It took me back to when I payed the games, recognizing characters and being amazed by their looks, moves and kills. 05-Aug-2026
Primate (2025)

Younglings stay home partying whilst dad goes away on business. Pet monkey Ben's adorability is fading due to illness and he's turning mean. The monkey escapes from his enclosure and goes on a rampage. The action set pieces were fresh and unexpected. The handicap was used accordingly. The actors were subtle but captivating. It hurt to watch the transformation from sweet pet to demonic shredder but the film was sheer panic. 02-Aug-2026
Devil's Mouth, The (2026)

Conversations felt awkward and untrue. Character development depended on corn and cliches. Actors were not handed the right cues to bring better than before depictions to life. The jellyfish scene was a topper that the rest of the film did not cede to. The threat did less than Jaws did. I couldn't see a thing. It was very specific about editing the shark. I had to pretend how they got killed by imagining a 50s black and white film. They blinded me because they had nothing to show. Underground shots during attacks would have created the panic it was striving for. The attacks above ground were shoddy, the strife was mechanical and the emotions were fake. 01-Aug-2026
Masters Of The Universe (2026)

Funny was used as a shield for insecurities and failures. Idris rose beyond the material and branded Duncan a favorite. I thought that the actress playing Evil-Lyn was Kristen Wiig. It was Alison Brie doing the honors. I laughed when I saw Kristen Wiig's name at the end of the credits. Leto should remain cloaked. It added ferocity to method acting. The dialog didn't deviate from limited subjects but the action imagination was fun. Nicholas is not the only doll I would have played with. It's toy joy. 24-Jul-2026
And Now The Screaming Starts (1973)

Abrupt editing and tacky effects sour a spooky tale. Virgin bride moves into castle with a family curse. The secret only intensifies because anyone who divulges it perishes. Bride has visions of a severed hand and a man with hollowed out eyes. The hand showed up in peculiar places with violence its main purpose. Bride's visions are only realistic to her. No one sees what she experiences. A professor of mentality is hired to calculate and treat her paranoia. The script doesn't linger analyzing the character's actions and the actors don't assert like the majority of the people would. The camera silently presents faces grandly emoting as thoughts. The secret sounded more devastating than was presented. I didn't know you could inherit a scar, trashing a relative's grave is cathartic and that women screaming during a 30 second fuck was normal. 14-Jul-2026
The Mummy (2026)

Child is kidnapped in foreign country and resuscitates as a mummy 8 years later. How does a family that is established deal with that kind of return? Half and half. The showdowns were based on cliches but the child astounded and the staff was on it. The visuals were full of creativity and hauntings. I keep remembering them. I was curious, spooked and entertained. 08-Jul-2026
Black Phone 2 (2025)

Wonder Twins versus Freddy Krueger. Sister's superpower is to have 4K dreams of abused boys and brother makes public phones ring. Sibling effects after surviving catastrophe doesn't blend with their present choices. What makes them think they can help anyone when they should be avoiding mental imbalance by obsessing over teenage things. The set-up was an excuse and the love interest looked like the brother which kept jolting me awake confused as to why she was making out with her brother. The film tries tying all it's knots together but they don't hold and it gives way to Carrie/Pazuzu awakenings and It tomfoolery. Boys without dicks equal women with power. 18-May-2026
Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow (1959)

Before Scooby Doo there was this. An amalgamation of sitcom sensibilities, talking parrot extremes, dance and musical numbers, generation gap dissection, tom foolery, daddy perversions, money problems, stupidity and lesbians galore. Fast & Furious club are being targeted for more money because of it's reputation. Teen daughter is a drag race queen who has to concoct ways to manipulate the club and the cops from not snitching. She's a manhole on wheels. Daddy does not want his daughter fucking around with bees. Mommy needs to hear about good sex from anyone else. Drag racers are misunderstood. The men are pussies to their sometimes womanly lovers. Agatha was devine. The high is so stupid you have to laugh. Me not understanding what my parents' teenage asses said or did was hilarious and relevant. 05-May-2026
Bugonia (2025)

I appreciated the concept but I have no idea what planet this movie is from. Nutter kidnaps executive because he thinks she's an alien. A cousin is his Frankenstein sidekick. The actors wrecked, the bumbling idiots had no solid plan, the cop was unnecessary, and I wished everyone was in a cohesive movie. The hype doesn't allow me to play along because the outcome is obvious. When the embroidered sacks appeared I went into hysterics. If I had been in a theater I would have had to run out before I got thrown out. Stitched rope. LOL! 01-May-2026