Movies Posts Tagged as 'Crapfun'
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Thunderbolts (2025)

The big bad was neither big or bad, it was dangerous. The film is under the illusion that if we can get to the heart of evil before it erupts that it won't. Maybe the reason we dissect villains is because evil has no explanation. Pugh drives the movie and gets us feeling things. The actors realized that they needed to be a team in order to become one and they were. I even liked the shitty Captain America. I watch comic book adaptations anticipating magic is realized as legendary characters are brought to life. Limited powers means limited accessibility. Spy action and admits ground the film in basics and hopeful logic. The funny failed most of the time because it killed characterization. A villain is not a threat if a stint in rehab can fix them. The ending was episodic TV right before cancellation. 29-Aug-2025
Monkey, The (2025)

As scary as the little fucker was, the monkey's structure was undefined. I got most of the gist but a lot of it was fogged up. If it can destroy towns why didn't it do it in the first place? How does the monkey choose who to kill and when it stops? The attacks were coordinated but sense killed a lot of it. It excels in the least likeliest of places: a solid story, emotional balance, talent and imagination. I wanted to stay in their lives and deconstruct the monkey. Theo James wasted no emotion or thought in his performance and was very effective. The young twins blew me away. I didn't know it was one actor portraying both. When they were onscreen together I kept thinking, "they must be fraternal because they don't look that much alike." It was impressive. It had all the elements to elevate itself but the monkey's mythology was weak and very Final Destination. 08-Aug-2025
K-Pop Demon Hunters (2025) 

I understand that art speeds up because the present brain is scanning faster than usual but art should teach them to containl it. Relax. The buffoonery was too much. It was immature and condescending to adults. Girl interaction was a high point. Music didn't suck with some being better than others. I think there were too many. How about establishing more of the girls' purpose and desires a bit more? Art is dreamy, both sexes are cool, the story is questionable and the mythology makes no sense. 21-Jul-2025
Sinners (2025)

Full of culture, history, vibrance and originality. I did twitch a little in the beginning but everyone was working so hard to tell a story that I couldn't resist. The blues were everywhere. It is unfortunate that the performance at the bar lacked the oomph the folk music got. A surprise diva would have brought down the house. Even the limited characters left a mark. The cast stripped their personas without losing watts. The cliches were rewritten to better express a different culture and they fit. Bravo to the talent for creating their own thing. 05-Jul-2025
Sonic theĀ Hedgehog 3 (2024)

Amy Rose and her Piko Piko Hammer were sorely missing. Unless she died somewhere I missed. Nothing tames a beast better than an "optimistic, bubbly and eager" pink thing with tits. The best nemesis for a Shadow hedgehog. Robotnick was too much and the silliness didn't stop at an itch but until you ripped your skin off. The adults were useless against AI because they had no pulse. 01-Jul-2025
Smile 2 (2024)

A frown is a smile upside down. 10-Apr-2025
I thought of something. Rebrand it as "The Frown." 09-Apr-2025
Naomi Scott created a character that was easy to understand and interesting to follow. The plot was basic. Many things seemed random. An out of the blue character always appears to explain the rules. The mythology is so vague that explanations became invalid. I still don't know what was real or not. I was committed because Ms. Scott was master tripping on emotions. I concocted many scenarios but I couldn't accept the smile thing (Joker thoughts), the mythology (not Buffy) or the scares (Terrifier-centric.) 09-Apr-2025
Heretic (2024)

Being privy, I recognized the fear, hostility and rejection that most religious salespeople have to endure. Sending unseeded pleasantness to enrapt new members is messy. They recruited virgins to preach the word of god that knew nothing about psychos. The brainiac script brought "the art of conversation back. The actors were royal and I didn't know you could make appointments with "the miserable" instead of going door to door and getting raped or killed by surprise. 24-Mar-2025
Kraven: The Hunter - (2024)

It had elements that would have created art and stir the heart. It's depressing. The drab appearance lacks animation color. Having no love interest, the vigilante turned hero has no one to pull him back when he goes beyond animal. Kraven's father had only one thought. Don't be weak. He says it in almost every scene with him and his brother. The brother bond doesn't coalesce beyond physical distance which made me not care. Ariana DeBose surprised me. I had no idea that she was Calypso. They missed an opportunity not making her a voodoo priestess because the religion is real and she's scary as fuck. Tagging the Chameleon instead of exposing him was also a waste. The daddies were ready to blow things up but the words in conversation lacked thought. The action sequences were enjoyably brutal, the Rhino took too long to become, Calypso could have been given more to do and villains can only become good after a hero beats them, again, again and again. 15-Mar-2025
Arcadian (2024)

It's the end of the world and Nic Cage remains to fight it. He's kept his twin sons safe for 15 years. They farm, scavenge and kill during the day but hatch down everything before dark. The mystery deepens even with revamped scares. Cage downplays heroism because after 15 years of vigilance his character is tired. His strength is in his conviction and hope. The boys were well cast. They both lit bulbs. The twins' asides were a welcome. The farm is where they found their warmth and exhaustion. A better way to separate the dark action sequences (not black enough or bright enough) would elicit more excitement because a lot of good work remained unseen. I want to know what that needle thing was, more about the occurrence, life before the end of the world, end of the world, those things and the future. 28-Jan-2025
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice (2024)

It was good. Nothing beyond what was expected. 26-Dec-2024
Red One (2024)

It was a jolly merry Christmas movie. Daddy Johnson downplayed it and wrung emotion and hilarity out of it. Chris Evans rejected heroic valor and was cute again. JK Simmons can eat my cookies, anytime. Lucy Liu had a purpose. Krampus was impressive. Kiernan was having fun. Every hole in the story gets punched up by mini-Dwayne kickassing, his jacket, his teeth, reindeer muscle, snowmen beaching, toys, gadgets, lights, magic, witches, twinks, candies, memories, regrets and fun. Sounds like Christmas to me. 20-Dec-2024
Subservience (2024)

It adds enough to the genre to make it interesting but it doesn't supply enough tech or empathetic reasoning to make it a classic. Ms. Fox is a royal maximizer of presence and a soulless entity suits her well. Michelle Morone made me want to go to the bathroom and jerk off to straight italian porn. Madeline Zima played a thankless role that depended solely on her likability and that's better than nothing. The movie satisfied but didn't satiate. More tech or more sex would have knocked it towards art park. No budget for more tech means they would have to physically create it. So, create it. Hubby would have become addicted to robot sex because that's what men do. "I only fucked her a few hundred times, sweetie. I was practicing for when you got your heart back. I didn't want to disappoint you." 09-Dec-2024
Merry Men, The (2024)

There's more than stupidity going on here. The cast is amiable and hardworking. Britt is a misdiagnosed charmer. Prattes legs were mesmerizing, it's fun to see old witches again, Maxwell Caulfield's moment was a go daddy thing, Chad Michael Murray had the body, the robotics, enthusiasm and Farrah's hair. They derailed the "hate at first love" train and depicted how people really get together. I didn't stay for the pancakes but I waited for the bacon. Merry whatever the fucks! 25-Nov-2024
Deadpool and Wolverine (2024)

If I were a dog, I'd lick them all. 18-Nov-2024
Bad Moon, The (1996)

As soon as I realized the original material centered around a pet beast, my mind started to baton twirl. Thor was the title and the name of the dog. But, the movie is about a werewolf, a mother and son, or is it? Mariel Hemingway was peak star watt that carried the weight of the movie's heart. The son is there to make the dog look good. Michael Pare was a one-time specimen that carried out his mission like a rebellious animal. Romance violently exits in the first 10 minutes, a brother/sister/uncle dynamic takes its place, Thor was the best actor and the transformation didn't suck. Man vs beast has been re-re-written so they tried something else. How does a dog protect his family when uncle is the king of canines and the myth rules don't apply? 05-Nov-2024