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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Crapfun'

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A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019)  Arf

Cindy fends an exploitative Jenner stepmom and abominable Kardashian sisters. The music is cute, the twink prince can break daddy dick and crush virgin vagina and its existence is Christmas cheer. Adorable! 24-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Corn, Crapfun, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Pretty, Relationships, Sentimental, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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24-Nov-2020


Berserk (1967) Arf

Crotch daddy trapezes, animal obedience and special talent, Friday the 13th kill inspiration and madame Crawford eminence in charge. Welcome to the circus. Keep your eyes on daddy, mommy dearest and animal freaks to entertain the crap out of fun. 14-Nov-2020

Tags: 1960s, Camp, Chemistry, Cold, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Over the Top, Relationships, Revenge, Star Watt, Violent, Weird, Words Spoke

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14-Nov-2020


Knock, Knock (2015) Arf

Tik Tokkers go hunting and prey upon a super K dad all alone and stoned at home. The wife and their boys went to another location to await him as he finished a job so they can have a family celebration. The girls are mad-driven, sex hungry hot dogs whose destruction you wouldn't lose sleep over. Art makes them mad. They shred it and draw fat penises on it. They perform outrageous skits to make babies and horny daddies pay attention. They have no talent. They hate men. The reason the entire bottom half of the planet yells out daddy during sex is because it's the most familiar. Daddy K is at his squishiest and he rips good emotions from his gut. He applied his action stamina to sex and it was sexy. The torture is guaranteed and Keanu's reactions were spot-on. Eli Roth has mad ideas and his perception is inching closer to clarification. I would but I would get in trouble. 07-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action Fun, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Mystery, Over the Top, Pretty, Scary, Suspense, Thriller, Violent, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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07-Nov-2020


Last Christmas (2019) Whimper

The mother of dragons goes goofy and messy to the legendary tunes of George Michael. Emilia Clarke leads with little sense. She's on a hurtful journey that should have been poignant but is annoying. Henry Golding is hot daddy giant with a glass wall constantly in front of him. Michelle Yeoh (Santa indeed) captivates with elegance, deliciousness and talent. Every actor was directed to pitch to the back audience as if it were a play. No need for that in a film. We don't want it corny but a little less cranky, maybe. Christmas is saturated with lights, the word Jesus in small letters are bountiful and the repetition of a song George Michael would resuscitate from to kill, dominates. There were so many beautiful things the director could have applied to Michael's music but decided basic was better. The ending is a surprising memorable copout. The lead character is insane. 05-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultural, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Fatigue, Grating, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Music Swings, Preposterous, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Tacky, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

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05-Nov-2020


Bad Hair (2020) Arf

Girl gives in to the establishment of success and gets a weave. The essence of the owner lives in the hair and it has a thirst for blood. The film is campily set and perfectly cast, utilizing every 80s fashion tragedy to funny effect. Vanessa Williams arrives to chew scenery and she eats divinely. Elle Lorraine is the joke, the punchline and the effect. The knitting of the weave was excruciating and the hair sucking the blood flow from a dripping vagina was handy. 31-Oct-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Idea, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Scary, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

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31-Oct-2020


Dora And The Lost City Of Gold (2019) Arf

Latin spunk, sense of adventure, poop songs, fart swamps, cousin flirtations, CGI friends and city ineptitude. It's Dora The Explorer. The parents (Pena/Longoria) are cute but their exploration days seem limited to couch surfing for leftover Tostitos to finish off their guacamole dip. Nancy Pelosi makes the most of her cameo by surprising as a jungle witch. (I kid.) It qualifies as a most craptacular stupid thing that makes a sad heart laugh. 25-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultural, Cute, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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25-Oct-2020


Children Of The Damned (1964) Arf

Only 6 of the damned children remain. They are diverse from different countries and brought together as gifted anomalies. The union creates a force amongst the children and the question of their humanity is evoked by anyone with a thought. The little buggers have a message. They kill because we kill. Man's interference with earth is not a save but a control. The kids exist to create balance. The adorable, horrible, little blonde wigs were missed but not needed. (I was curious to see how the minority children looked in them.) I'm sure they made the right decision. The mothers are ferociously hateful to them for making them live in an inescapable cold world. The fathers don't exist. The film expands and is its own thing but the explanation for the mythology bummed me out. 06-Oct-2020

Tags: 1960s, Action Fun, Cold, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Good Idea, Indecipherable, Mean Spirited, Music Swings, Political Satire, SciFi, Suspense, Tough, Words Spoke

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06-Oct-2020


Babysitter, The (2017) Woof

I watched it at its time but I was so smashed that the next day I couldn't remember enough to review it. Puberty boy realizes his carnal urge for queen sex is life-preserving and destructive. Samara Weaving serves Harley Quinn gusto, Robbie Amell is humdinger stripper/killer/rapist, Bella Thorne tears it like a beauty pageant winner, Hana Mae Lee slices and dices and the babies are sweet. The irrational violence is its humor and its perverted violence is its soul. The kills may be cannon but revenge is sweet. 16-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action Fun, Baby Wrecks, Brutal, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultish, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Porn Violence, Revenge, Sentimental, Star Watt, Tough, Twisty, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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16-Sep-2020


Beyond White Space (2018) Whimper

The inclination to watch was always interrupted by its gaming inspired poster. It looked like something you would play not watch. Obviously, it's description and my boredom tuned us in.

After decimating earth the next boost for humanity is to fuck up space. Away we go with pirates, thieves, anarchists, loveless, lawless and hopeless. Fun fact: I did not know space had crabs and no gays. The monsters are CGI identified on a two sided coin. The dialogue is full of those chemicals we don't want on our meat, the actors eating corn would have had the same effect and the director/editor stumbled by premeditating everything about to occur. The action sequences are as inspired as a preview before a game that never starts. 28-Aug-2020

Tags: Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, SciFi, Tacky, Timid, Vague

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28-Aug-2020


Lifelike (2019) Arf

No budget for a decent stage play less a good film but it has substantial ideas for us to ponder. Wifey woke awakens to sudden glam because daddy could do better inherited it. She is not comfortable commanding staff, feels it is beneath the help's heritage and fires them. (It's a mansion.) After an unreasonable time of daddy doing all the hard work he schemes to get her a robot. (Gay holler at the male choice.) The film does not succeed in creating the perfect robot but it creates the illusion of the perfect being. The explanation for maintaining robot/human boundaries is to not reach hoover or vibrator status or worse, love. The daddies whipped strenuous body muscle, the threesome was a two sided tango, the twist was great and it deserves off-off broadway respect. A tighter story and better effects would a Hollywood blockbuster make. 17-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Idea, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Political Satire, Relationships, SciFi, Sexy, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Timid, Twisty, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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17-Aug-2020


Kissing Booth 2 (2020) Arf

Silly girl thinks the world orbits only after she blows on it. Heroine enforces her stance by diminishing what boys think if it interferes with what she wants. Latino heart throbs with a curl, besties squish like girls, the gays are allowed to speak but of educators they peep and "anger issues" squishes with a little less muscle but enough to fuck a foreign miss. Its frivolous corn syrup contesting manhood. 10-Aug-2020

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, Silly, Timid, Wit Crack

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10-Aug-2020


Hobbs and Shaw (2019) Arf

Action daddypalooza. It's about a virus that hints at corona which means the celebration is anticlimactic? The godly Samoan took to criticism and calmed his macho down. The squirt squirted sweet juice and super daddy accent rode it like Harry Potter on a broom. All plane sequences worked. I liked the conversation between the three on the plane and the action amongst the clouds took me to flight. The Rock admitted his shortcomings, the kicker provided sharp flare and street daddy gobbled all the cowboy tech limited by budget. Most of the action felt cartoony, some of the action felt inspired but mostly the action fulfilled what a disposable master would authorize. We must stop announcing "badass." It's not something you know, its something you are. Men will never be mothers but they can front the criticism. The writer needs to allow us to judge them. 09-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Fun, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Fatigue, Funny, Hot Swatch, Macho Posing, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Sap, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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09-Aug-2020


Once You Kiss A Stranger (1969) Woof

Strangers on a Train stop at Fatal Attraction. Carol Lynley is a Peter Pan wet dream that never relents. She scares children with harpoon guns, she brawls with pet cats and she threatens old people with off-color gossip, death fascinations and frequent visits. Her mental health is homicidal. Ms. Lynley unbinds from daddy adoration and shakes her personal hate towards everyone. The daddies have expiration dates and are being coerced into reclaiming #1 status or lose thoughts of ever having a "good time,"again. Once an unknown pixie enters a married man's hotel room with her nightie on, he's fucked. The tribute is soaped up and spread out, the stunts are hilarious and the actors don't lose a beat. It stings and entertains, like mexican candy. 29-Jul-2020

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Mystery, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Rapey, Relationships, Remake, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Too Long, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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28-Jul-2020


Mask, The (1994) Woof

A movie that succeeds in spite of its inanity. The effects still impress. Jim Carrey's comedic chaos mimic and Cameron Diaz' unflinching bombshell elevate it. 02-Jul-2020

Tags: 1990s, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Kool Effects, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Romance, Silly, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

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02-Jul-2020


Third Day, The (1965) Arf

Can a man become an enlightened human if an accident causes him amnesia? Not if your mug is still wanted for murder.

George Peppard is grand business daddy, never demurring from blankness while still eliciting great face.

Elizabeth Ashley was privileged bitch wife, with an redemptive opportunity for love and a zestful beauty of another.

Sally Kellerman knew how to turn it on and shut men down.

Mona Washbourne elicited comic wit relief and parental heartbreak.

Roddy McDowell. The best cocksucker in Hollywood actually had other talents.

Arte Johnson crept trying to put a creepy face on a "love me" persona.

Music. It sounded like every summer blockbuster score rolled into one.

It's sumptuously over, to guiltily enjoy. 11-May-2020

Tags: 1960s, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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11-May-2020




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