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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Crapfun'

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Mortal Kombat (2021) Whimper

I'm young enough to remember playing it but too old to retain any character backstories. When the legends come to life it jogs the memory and its cool. The action brutalizes your senses and makes you feel guilty for releasing with it. The story and dialogue try to zap the fun out of it but the techies keep throwing water on it to keep the spark going. 09-Sep-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Brutal, Chemistry, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fun, Funny, Sort of, Gore, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Musical Bombast, Pretty, Silly, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Wit Crack

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09-Sep-2021


Blonde Fever (1944) Arf

A retiring couple who own a roadside cafe have their marriage tested when they hire a pretty young thing as a waitress. Pretty young thing captures daddy's attention and his tongue. She's that baby smell all mothers talk about. Momma is an elegant insecurity blanket trying to outsmart the old man and his twit. The twit is playing her own game. Marry a hard working boy or wear diamonds on a leash. The choice is simple except the rich-appearing couple are broke. Her twinx fiancee gets hired by wife to keep girl confused and husband competing. Daddy gigolo gains accidental wealth which gives him choices which propels a generational class war and causes couple deconstruction. Mary Astor looked expensive. Gloria Grahame refused to be stupid but remained hot. Philip Dorn is that frightening beautiful thing that you fuck once and hope he forgets you. It spoke very comfortably about the relationship etiquette between aging, youth and sex. 08-Sep-2021

Tags: 1940s, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Funny, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

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08-Sep-2021


Our Miss Brooks (1956) Arf

Miss Brooks is a respected English teacher who's moved to a new town for a progressive opportunity. Competitiveness at work is minimal as she plays well with boys, stimulates her students and knocks sense into obstinate parents. She has a desperate need to settle down which is not characteristic of a woman that's acquired equality. She's good at everything. She has the cutest landlady, a rich daddy, a working daddy, a great job, the esteem of the community and she's smart. The film has sitcom sensibilities and a pleasant Desilu alumni. Gale Gordon was a pratfall master that endured a lot of physical punishment to make us laugh. I laughed. Eve Arden was a master wit. She told it like it was and lived it. She was an act of freedom. 05-Sep-2021

Tags: 1950s, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Predictable, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, TV-like, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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05-Sep-2021


Indecent Proposal (1993) Woof

A fairytale can sustain a marriage until someone else's reality makes it true. Men are easily positioned by a punch to the face but a woman is a game worth dying for. A woman cannot be special unless she is hunted and adorned. A billionaire will pay a million dollars to have a sex with a loser's beauteous wife. Demi is full watt, totally worth a million dollars. Daddy Redford is an alpha watt hoarding the unattainable by deconstructing it. Harrelson is the cute schmuck torn between love, security, betrayal and insanity. Lyne is a Hallmark backend. It's psychological intuition sometimes gets marred by goop smear but the trio sparks, the music masters, the thought is clear and the atmosphere is bright. 26-Aug-2021

Tags: 1990s, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Mystery, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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26-Aug-2021


Game, The (1997) Arf

The game is a birthday gift from baby brother. Reclaiming the gift is such a useless bother. The tycoon wastes his time allowing assholes to invade his privacy so he can redeem a ridiculous punchline. The game is not attached to a kink that would make him tolerate it. Douglas growls beyond the script and Deborah Kara Unger bites decisively. Sean Penn's lack of exposure had him masterclassing to appear incoherently different every single time. The game is high grade nonsensical harassment cancellation. 08-Aug-2021

Tags: 1990s, Action, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Drama, Fatigue, Good Acting, Mystery, Preposterous, Relationships, Suspense, Timid, Vague, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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08-Aug-2021


Fear Street Part One: 1994 (2021) Woof

Teen lesbians break up after the other moves to a better town and starts hooking up with boys. A jealous and violent prank accidentally disrupts a force that sends undead serial killers to obliterate them. The director has ballsy energy and the kids read well. It pays homage to the slasher film while making the violence more palpable and incorporating lots of baby kickass fun. 02-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director's Art, Enthusiastic, Funny, Heart Writ, Horror, Lesbian, Music Swings, Mystery, Political Satire, Relationships, Scary, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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02-Jul-2021


What Bitch? (2020) Arf

8 minutes with latina amazons, driving in a car, where daughter aspyhxiates the family by providing no a/c or open windows. Daughter instigates a fight with a customer when they stop at a convenience store and sister's baby gets slapped. Girl fight with a concentration on boob damage. 02-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultural, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Hilarious, Mean Spirited, Physical Humor, Political Satire, Relationships, Short Film, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Words Spoke

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02-Jul-2021


Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Woof

So stupid, it's funny. 22-Jun-2021

Tags: 2000s, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Funny, Grating, Heart Writ, Music Swings, Political Satire, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Silly, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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22-Jun-2021


Untamed Youth (1957) Woof

Two pretty young things are arrested for vagrancy and swimming naked on a journey to Hollywood. Judge Judy gives them a choice, work on an agricultural farm or go to prison. Bubbleheads decide to pick cotton. Cotton pickers are rare and farmers are using the prisoners to make a profit. The farm is run by a Red Superman that enforces more than he preaches. He unleashes killer dogs on pregnant teens, serves them dog food, dehydrates them, kills, terminates, rapes, blackmails and threatens. Yet, every night, after picking cotton all day and eating dog food, the all gender prisoners find a way to perform a rock n' roll number. Red Superman is secretly married to Judge Judy. Judge Judy's gorgeous son starts working on the farm and catches the eye of the younger sister. Gorgeous son becomes weary of commandment and investigates. Judge Judy is plastered with red dick. She knows nothing. The musical numbers scream immediate cancellation but the performers look so good pushing it. Mamie Van Doren was a sex gift that calypsoed. She worked her butt off entertaining the boys. Is it historically credible that only white people, hispanics and lesbians committed all of America's crimes? The lesbian was a pisser. Puff prison pulp fun. 20-Jun-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultish, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Musical, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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20-Jun-2021


Goodnight, Mommy (2014)¬† Howl

Mother returns home after cosmetic surgery. She is burdened with twin boys, bandaged, tired, snarly and in need of recuperation. The boys are lonely and constantly interrupting her beauty rest which makes her upset and overreactive. The boys become convinced that the woman hiding under the bandages is not their mother. She's more violent than usual. The boys test her extensively and unbearably. They want to prove she's a fraud. "Misery" mayhem is top notch, direction has balls and the cast is deadly. 17-Jun-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Best In Foreign, Best In Horror, Brutal, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Art, Drama, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Good Idea, Great Acting, Horror, Mystery, Scary, Slow, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Violent, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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17-Jun-2021


Prodigal, The (1955) Woof

A wealthy Hebrew is so tantalized by the beauty of a High Priestess that he cashes in his inheritance, dumps his fianc√© and says adios to his family for a trip to pagan city. He meets nice assistance on the way and creates a family to help get him closer to his goal. She may serve two gods but he'll convince her there is only one. He woos her without losing his morality. Until he does. It is a lavish retelling of a bible story that is quite brutal and timely. God vs False Idols. Do we kill the people we don't agree with or enslave them? Lana Turner hit all the right Goddess marks and seduced our lenses. Edmund Purmon muscled his way through. The action held up. After the flirtation and consummation, arise feelings of conflict (him) and love (her.) It appeared that the most expensive fuck of his life was a bummer. He becomes a slave for holding on to his spirituality and starts a white slave uprising. 14-Jun-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Enthusiastic, Funny, Heart Writ, History, Music Swings, Relationships, Revenge, Sexy, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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14-Jun-2021


Devil-Doll, The (1936) Woof

Escaped prisoner hitches with a dying scientist who wants to make it home so he can shrink people with his wife and change the world. The protagonist just wants to avenge the men who set him up and gain his daughter's respect. The escapees make it to the wife's cottage. A frightfully wonderful Rafaela Ottiano plays the faithful wife who has maintained his experiments and awaited his arrival. They want to shrink people so they can consume less and help the environment. It starts with dogs, jumps to lowly humans and precipitates into people you want canceled. Lionel Barrymore is top notch as the set-up guy lucking into revenge. The dolls have brilliant moments and shoddy ones. The dolls are a cameo to the story of a man that has to become a woman to safeguard his family and prove his innocence. 24-May-2021

Tags: 1930s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Horror, Mystery, Relationships, Revenge, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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24-May-2021


Cold Creek Manor (2003) Arf

City whites decide to move out of the city after their son's expensive shoes get scratched in the city. They are afforded an estate at a very low price that belonged to an ex prison crusader on a warpath with whomever moves in. Sharon Stone is onboard to bore us doing motherly stuff as an affordable VP. Daddy Quaid's anger doesn't generate enough sparks to make us care. Christopher Plummer was unrecognizable. Juliette Lewis made it ashore to tingle the plot and remind us Cape Fear did it better. Stephen Dorff was delicious smack as a bad boy affected by parental sexual freedom that you will eventually spit out and nothing more. Teen Kristen Stewart was at her best, hanging loose, upfront and appearing to hate only half the planet. The ending is as cruel as the wait. 16-May-2021

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Bad Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Timid, Vague, Weird, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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16-May-2021


Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995) Woof

I needed a break from imaginary intelligence so I decided to watch the daddies that kept me a boy longer than I needed to be. The Riddler has designated several bombs to go off at different times all over Gotham unless Beast Boy and Cyborg decode them. As soon as Daddy Willis walks naked into Harlem wearing an offensive sign and precipitates different reactions from the community, the movie stakes a claim on how we presently live. It isn't offensive because the film is a warning about foreigners using our hate to destroy us. The actors are saying things that we think but are not allowed to say. Our anger and resentment is released through them. Samuel L. Jackson is the best antagonist to have because he will do what's right for everybody and make you laugh. Applying CGI spandex onto Jeremy Irons Riddler would have made his equation complete. Chemistry is on blast, believability is shot but daddies look so cool getting bloody and blowing things up. 26-Apr-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Kool Effects, Macho Posing, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Preposterous, Revenge, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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26-Apr-2021


Youngblood Hawke (1964) Arf

Mr. Hawke drives a coal truck by day and writes the great American novel at night. Mother is wracked because that is not the job that's going to get them out of podunk. They're just pretty words. Wrong, witch. NY publishers called to propose a writing career for your son. Away he goes from Kentucky to New York to deal with business cutthroats, empowered Amazons with tender hands to create or deflate and a key to sin city. The men created partnerships but the women were the deal. He's hanging out with the haves. All the women stand demurely in line to take their turn with him. He's a golden pretty boy who didn't sound much like a writer and definitely didn't honk like a truck. James Franciscus held no extra thoughts. A blank page of "pretty as fuck." The ladies ease through the suds, confiding thoughtful sensibilities in spite of corny poetic writing. He's in love with his boss' wife and maybe his editor. He puts one on ice while he sparks fires with the other. Genevieve Page ate dairy/meat to make her hair resplendent. The accent, the manners, the fashion, the IDGAF attitude and her sweet little gay boy allowed me to pleasantly follow her. Unfortunately, the affair repeats itself so much that I'm surprised the writers didn't add "again" to every single "I'm leaving you." Suzanne Pleshette was so adorably female. Hawke's mother's storyline seemed incomplete as did the boy's. Hawke becomes a celebrity victim and gets cancelled for no apparent reason. 25-Apr-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Corn, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political, Relationships, Sentimental, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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25-Apr-2021




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