Movies Posts Tagged as 'Crapfun'
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Mask, The (1994)
A movie that succeeds in spite of its inanity. The effects still impress. Jim Carrey's comedic chaos mimic embodies and Cameron Diaz' unflinching bombshell elevate it. 02-Jul-2020
Third Day, The (1965)
Can a man become an enlightened human if an accident causes him amnesia? Not if your mug is still wanted for murder.
George Peppard is grand business daddy, never demurring from blankness while still eliciting great face.
Elizabeth Ashley was privileged bitch wife, with an redemptive opportunity for love and a zestful beauty of another.
Sally Kellerman knew how to turn it on and shut men down.
Mona Washbourne elicited comic wit relief and parental heartbreak.
Roddy McDowell. The best cocksucker in Hollywood actually had other talents.
Arte Johnson crept trying to put a creepy face on a "love me" persona.
Music. It sounded like every summer blockbuster score rolled into one.
It's sumptuously over, to guiltily enjoy. 11-May-2020
Humanoids From The Deep (1980)
Cis sea monsters killing dogs, children and men so they can rape the women. It's pure schlock, WTF and astounding they pulled it off. I was less hesitant to watch because it was helmed by a woman. A woman, Barbara Peeters, would never exploit it. She handles her task, dons a penis cap for the shots and switches to thinking emotion about circumstances. She navigated like a pro. The fight scenes turned out hilarious but the racism, kills and rapes were sharp. All sexes, breeds and races shared the heroism.
(What were these people eating then? Their hair looked terrific.) 08-May-2020
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
The paranormals are lousy parents for enshrining evil in their home, the girl scare torture is kicky and the doll is a creepmeister. 21-Apr-2020
Attack Of The Fifty Foot Woman (1958)
Frantic housewife contracts gigantism whilst anguishing about her husband's sexual fluidity. It's a feminist turn that unite the men against her. The Efx burn due to age but also because the star "hand" was atrocious and the giants were transparent sometimes and not others. I rather they hadn't. A man will allow a woman to have big ideas as long as they don't go to her head. 12-Apr-2020
Dead Kids (Strange Behavior) - (1981)
Controlling kids for kills. Bursting with ideas that the master had no idea how to cohesively cobble together. The kills are interesting because they are clumsy like real life. Fiona Lewis' donut bun steals the whole thing. 18-Mar-2020
Piece of shit about a Charlie's angel being possessed by a spiteful demon. The spiteful demon is a woman that accepts no bullshit from a man and punishes him for it. As she hurts no one but, I see no reason to destroy her. She's today's woman. When Bobbie Bresee's Playboy playmate regresses to her childhood trauma like Sally Field in "Sybil," it was brilliant hilarity. LaWanda Page was hilarious. A lot of the film is hilarious and ridiculous and preposterous. It's a piece of shit that entertains.
A cleanup might do it good. 13-Mar-2020
I Kill Giants (2017)
She kills giants and she's not afraid of them but then proceeds to quiver and weep at the thought. Having little girls spew superhero corn is cringey and embarrassingly hilarious. The girl on girl was tender but the titular was a smoky abstract. I was a bit confused by the giants. Why kill something that hands such good life advice upon victory or is that the point? Are they fortune cookies? 09-Mar-2020
It's a waste of a title. Young couple break-in to a wacko family home and tables get turned. If the key to the story is madness why not explain it understandably so we can ponder it. They borrowed it, splattered it and hoped for the best. All actors were on game but Skarsgard's talent magnet pulls you in. He's an intrepid bloke. 06-Mar-2020
Daddy teach gets a woody when student overachiever dominates his classroom and his life with his reach for intellectual excellence. Dylan Sprouse objectifies exemption, corruption and the high holiness of shit. It's unfortunate that his psychology is not well drawn. Daddy does not squish sufficiently to lend credence to certain plot points but Dylan's penance almost makes up for that. 03-Mar-2020
Airport '77 (1977)
What it reserves in thrills it expounds in detail and raw film work. The pros lathered the soap like it was Shakespeare, it was diverse and actors were allowed to sweat. A movie that sits better out of its time. 21-Feb-2020
Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019)
A blanched all-star siphon it's heart but the smoked monsters have art comic book flair. Blur the actors and fine-tune the monsters. 13-Feb-2020
Mom and Dad (2018)
Moms and dads awaken from stress to obliterate what causes them the most burden...kids. The film dares to ponder how society manipulates adults into creating life that overshadows their own but gets cold feet trying to decipher it. Nicolas Cage unleashes grand psycho qualities that the director reins in for fear of buffoonery (?) That's a shame. 08-Feb-2020
Long Weekend (1978)
Naturists get punished for victimizing nature. A scary environmentalist panty creamer. 05-Feb-2020
Meet Wally Sparks (1997)
Illogical silliness for a ferocious one liner. The supporting personalities are TV staples flexing their muscles to bozo comedy. Poor things. 19-Jan-2020