The ritual that is supposed to bring one back from the dead is in another language that is not translated until the end. Well, then why the fuck did it take so long? Unbalanced mother inherits 2 siblings, a hormonal teenager with wet problems and a mostly blind baby sister that has a need to be acknowledged. Boy wants to run with his sister but in 3 months he can do it legally. He just needs to put up with his foster mother's psychosis. The atmosphere is constantly tight. The actors delivered more than the script gave them. Gross is not a metaphor for fright, the ritual is not logical, the actions are less so, I didn't understand Ollie's diet and I didn't appreciate all the red. 28-Oct-2025

I was not familiar with Nosferatu folklore. Couldn't finish the silent film because the romanticism got lost when they made Dracula a hideous monster. The reason Count can appear human is because he's a metaphor for the monsters living inside of us. Ugly things are not tempting or worth filming. The original movie caused a stir for being a direct knock-off of Dracula. They were supposed to burn every copy but some assholes from the future salvaged them. Having to learn new character names fucked with my memorization. Renfield has always irritated me. Every iteration of him is nasty and nuts. Maybe a female Renfield would benefit the mythology. She can crush on the Count, serve him, become jealous and overprotective esp. when he meets Mina or Lucy or whatever name changes already existed. I'd make her a witch. The mood and an obsession created a shadow atmosphere with no soul or action to back it up. Why did they make Lilly Rose look like that? She looked ready to churn butter. Adding more mumbo jumbo destroyed what the original carefully invented. The added myths are cheats with no thought process. The director diluted hunky man hotness. My ears started ringing when I heard Skarsgard's accent. Why was he speaking so slow? To fill space? Skarsgard is all monster and no personality. Covering aspects of what makes an actor shine is blasphemous. It could have been Alexa voicing it because I never felt Skarsgard's presence. He buried himself inside the character. The foretelling was exhausting. Why tell us what's going to happen next? Be quiet and show us. The shadows in Eggers art overlapped the humans creating them. 01-Jul-2025

I tried playing this game and became frustrated with all the things I had to build. Why would I want to build ugly shit? I hated it. Hats off to Momoa for choosing the loser role. Black brought the energy but not the charisma. The children looked dirty like the adults so they didn't register. I wanted to yank Momoa's stupid wig off. TG they hired some minorities to qualify for Oscars. Always silly, sometimes funny with no substantial skills taught to kids. 23-Jun-2025

A dark tale told amongst frustration. I being frustrated that nothing interesting happens in between Lady Nic's breathing sessions. The characters needed more strokes and history to understand their motivations. Everything was a whisper, only the men lost it, direction had no distinct style and the banter was vacuous. Lady Nic fulfilled her duty and was fun to follow. Harris Dickinson was a good choice but there was too much psycho in his swagger. Antonio was the only actor allowed to emote pain and anger. He did it well. His outburst was what the rest of the film lacked. Energy. Cognizance was on dream mode. The reason men are toxic is because women can't orgasm without it. The resolution is simplified to fulfill the fairy tale agenda. It nulls the truth and its purpose. 07-May-2025

A frown is a smile upside down. 10-Apr-2025

Well acted characters that didn't initiate much sympathy. The hooker is content in her work, minds her own business, learned nothing about men or how things work. The heroine's gullibility was exasperating. Every time a character was introduced to another was mostly awkward. The only character that conveyed inner thoughts was Igor. Once elements of The Hangover commenced the ridiculousness didn't stop. Silly hijinks and mobster blunders. Dreams dashed by love and parents. Spoiled brats and power images. Anything will do when the choices are none. Certain things don't need to have a point to hit a nerve but this one was spin cycling. I couldn't catch a word. 18-Mar-2025

The film is not very clear about what it's trying to say. The cultural references were veiled and over emoted. I felt I was on a road trip with the cousins. I hate road trips! The actors almost make it worth it. The gestures are sweet but there is nothing more than the obvious. Cousins travel to Poland to tour where deceased grandmother was born, hoping it will ignite memories and togetherness. Culkin's character is the most coherent and baffling. He zig zags through personalities that don't necessarily mesh. The first class argument didn't correspond with its action. It felt like a 40's sentiment. There are more important things to worry about that the director did not explore. Jesse plays it like Joan to Kieran's Baby Jane. Deeper conversations would have compensated for the incomprehension. 17-Jan-2025

The child did extraordinary things, quoted words not associated with children and plagiarized previous strokes. The last minute saves were so expected that emotional attachment got lost. Melissa Barrera gave Faith from Buffy vibes. Dan Stevens was blank. The first surprise is like everything before it. Once the cat is out of the bag the movie falls into WB TV status. Yes, it was a surprise but a sucky one. 28-Nov-2024

I found a good reason for Frosty to be fit. A witch froze him a long long time ago, blah, blah, blah, he turned into a fat snowman because of the harsh weather and has been resurrected several times. The more he melts after resurrection affects how many more pounds he sheds in the next rebirth. He meets his end when he turns into a puddle, a 100 sequels and years later. 17-Nov-2024

They made us wait forever to see the man with the sculpted buns, they mimicked the mythology instead of enacting it, the lack of words made it easier to hide but hard to understand. They took a sample of what often occurs with a man beast and concocted a film. Samples can't describe the complete picture. It moves slow, the child is soulless, the wife doesn't matter, and daddy is one-note. Daddy is goofy happy and abusively angry. I recommend that Kit and his buns of stone make a better movie elsewhere. 31-Oct-2024

Food can be an orgasmic delight or a fatal mistake. The film runs with it but keeps making U-turns to nonsensical scares. The premise felt fresh but lazy. I thought up cooler things to do with food to scare besides making it icky. Ms. DeBose restrained herself esp. her face. Her close-ups didn't convey much because her face was speaking a foreign tongue. I had no idea what she was thinking. Once again, the bombardment of one subject doesn't match the progression of the film. The script should never read like a resume. It shouldn't end like one either. Isn't the last line about hobbies and likes? 09-Oct-2024

A lucent cast gets drowned out by its subject. I am aware that tennis would be a big part of a movie about tennis but tennis is not the background but a star. All parts of the film were well done except talk was from a fried script. I don't remember any conversations but the tennis ones. All day, all night whilst fucking and parenting, was tennis talk. They didn't even comment about food. The pretties were intoxicating but their emotions were tied to twin words that cast no realistic feelings, singularity or empathy. I have no idea what the storytellers were conveying. Great music, though. 01-Oct-2024

Interesting premise that has no solid fictional reference to back it up. The idea that you get surgery at 16 to look your most beautiful self and be happy is fraudulent. Why didn't the people revolt before they agreed to a ludicrous way of living? What happens to the naturally beautiful? Vanity purists wouldn't allow that type of interruption to their legacy. Is there anything uglier than uglies? Do they step up to ugly status when the others reach nirvana? How many mothers popped ugly babies for society to enact such a rule? The baddie was a borderline dystopian with comic book strokes. If the rulers can manipulate the people to overhaul ugly, why go to the next extreme? The beauty is for whom? I liked Nose better before he turned into a Final Fantasy character. The movie made me self conscious of the lead's looks. I was judging them constantly to see if she fit the part. All she needed was a bath. The finale was maddening. You mean the baddies could have done that all along? What did they need Tally for? Her history with Nose had a heartbeat but her new buddy happend too swiftly and coincidentally to kick. Nose closure was a post-it from somebody else's refrigerator. I wished Croy was Smoke. Feelings coming back after transitioning wasn't explored enough to be convincing. Wouldn't starting fires to escape the opposition create an air map for the enemy? Skate surfing scenes uplifted but forging through the woods to bring grandma back was stark. It was not painful to watch or stay. 18-Sep-2024

I tried watching through the eyes of a child and it confused me. What do you mean that man has my wish. I made ten wishes yesterday and two came true. I don't even remember that one wish everybody's talking about. Fuck it. It's only one. The film has Ariana DeBose energy and a Barbie stance. DeBose is so excited to show us what she's got that she faux climaxes before she has to. Some of the songs actually sounded musical. Pine's Shatner was so good that it stunk. The last man with a working penis is stealing little girl dreams. (None of the dreams were to marry a man to save them?) The women and some of their friends band together to destroy him. Some of the friends consisted of weak or mentally disabled boys and feeble grandfathers with no reach. I presume we had to look towards the animals to find culture representation. No gays in sight. Sophia The First looked better than this and brought the magic. One of Disney's junkiest animations. 28-Apr-2024

Sweetness and beauty interrupted by elemental disbelief. Ember only sets fire to certain things. The fire family moved to a town that operated like a water park. What happens when it rains? Fire affects rain and humidity. One of the fire people should have died in the flood. What are their clothes made of? Ember was lead on a floaty at Ripple's family water house and it didn't melt, pop or make her drown. It's a very nice movie that chose not to teach children a studied lesson. 03-Feb-2024