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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Vague'
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The film epitomizes what Hollywood has become. Every hand must be held and head patted, no matter their importance. New and shit are not synonymous with good. Someone put something in their drinks because they were wheezing in and out of accents and it was 100% contagious. It was a Gucci movie made by Soviets. None of the Italian performers generated a complaint that their families didn't sound like that? Gaga clutches her star watt with brilliance, outrageousness and hysterics. Ridley Scott found his niche, upgrading a Wayans production to mastery. 13-May-2022
Ann-Margret plays a girl who advances in the fashion industry because of hard work and drop dead gorgeousness. Father and son heads offer her the opportunity to become a Paris buyer when the original gets married. Father and son dispute her capabilities but acknowledge that beauty can surpass it. Louis Jordan is the Paris client with sexual arrangements to the previous buyer. There is little proof that Margret's character impresses at her job because she spends most of her time in Paris, drinking, partying, flirting, dancing, singing and clobbering boys who want to go further than a kiss. The most beautiful boy in the world, Chad Everett, the hottest tongue in France, Louis Jordan and the slub who accepts leftovers, Richard Crenna, are the men vying for Lady Margret's baby's breath. Ann's character is written with confused sensibilities. She riles the men up then 2x4s them later. She wants to live a fantasy without all that icky stuff, like sex. The ex-buyer getting married on short notice without telling her french lover/client gets no clarification. Edie Adams was unfortunately a short lived thing disrespected in the film's best storyline. Margret dolled up in fashion chic and hit the dance floor to Count Bassie and Mongo Santamaria like a sexual beast. Edits and choreography are a mess but Lady Margret's magnitude never lets up. The fashion is creative, the only laughs are violent, the idea that a girl becomes a woman if she gets married is primitive, when men exclaim that a girl is too young to fuck, they mean right now. 26-Apr-2022
It's an incomplete thought. A woman realizes her culture by being left behind to be parented by a rich white family. The interracial harmony was a plus. The actors didn't make calls to their agents after every scene. They were in it. The idea that the man you loved was lying about his parents and abandons you to their care is frightening. The atmosphere was established, the actors were prepared but the story didn't succumb to its repression. All was safe, all felt long and none of it felt warranted. I wanted to hear the screams of agony and the main fucking the shit out of that pretty butler to get the fuck out of there. That's what real people do. They don't waste time wondering. 20-Apr-2022
Strict father manipulates the sporting world into driving his daughters to legendary. Working your child like a horse is an investment in greatness if it gains you wealth but a questionable tactic if daddy applies it to chores. Will Smith's Mr. Williams was a hero who broke his daughters' backs, peddled them for attention and talked about tennis, all day long. Yes, his speak was most intolerable. Aunjanue Ellis registered strong heart as a neglected wife. Jehovah's Witnesses don't say god or church. I wasn't allowed to. Interjections of woke history lend it fable qualities. If the women are so great, why is this foolish man speaking for them? 25-Mar-2022
Menopausal shipping magnate dumps his business and distances himself from family because he wants to re-marry. The wife is a young Gloria Swanson playing a celebrated actress ready to retire with the old rich man of every woman's dream. She had money and success but wanted security. Adolphe Menjou was too cute and proper to put down but mama Swanson deserved to fuck his boring beautiful son. The film is split in three. Intro fears, adaptation, immigration, saving the planet and regretting it. Swanson and Menjou quarrel about masculinity and woman's liberation while receiving modern advice from the son and sweet wife. The event is Desi Arnaz as a stowaway on their honeymoon cruise where they decide to rescue him and offer him a lifestyle only the elite could afford. He can sing, shave and fuck like a bandit and he's pretty too. He deserved to fuck everybody including senior and junior. Swanson deserved to put him on her plate. Desi's accent was very light and we got to experience him how Lucy saw him. A beautiful ham. Its heart was distant, the comedy avoided the soul but the pretense was fun. 14-Mar-2022
Abuelita sacrifices her husband to magic and gets a brand new house. The house is alive with sorcery, the family is gifted with trickery and the town thrives on bountiful happiness. Men are useless and goofy. Women are Amazonian of the nosey kind. They only get into trouble when they walk into it. The voice cast is dreamy but Lin-Manuel Miranda's music is back to infect my ears with disjointed melodies. I couldn't hang on to any musical notes because more confusing ones replaced them. He's taking our ears back to when we were babies adopting to hearing. Goo goo ga ga sounded like a song but it wasn't. The film was culturally unidentifiable as the latinos were nondescript living in fairy tale land with one family under God, controlling the whole town like the mafia. TG climate change arrives to kill their magic. Kudos to the voice actors and the artists. 30-Dec-2021
The afterlife Anthony Bourdain would have lived if someone had stolen his truffle sniffing pig. Nicolas Cage rides shotgun on a road trip to nowhere interesting, with an undefinable buddy, to bring his pet home. The transition from woods to city, hurts. It's supposed to be a vehicle to re-establish Cage as a bona-fide actor. He is battered, humiliated, hated yet his composure remains the same. He doesn't give a shit. Cage doesn't get to rage and his breakdown is silenced. Adam Arkin sparked chills by spontaneously talking like Cage and raging how Cage did not. The words ponder nicely but deliver dribble. Imagination doesn't fly because intelligent thoughts are incarcerated. When imagination ceases to exist, I will wonder if muting Nicholas' breakdown deprived us of his gift. Bourdain wasn't meant to be Indiana Jones, he was supposed to live long enough to accept his punishment. That's what it should have been about. 28-Dec-2021
There is no dog in sight. Teen with effeminate ways grabs the attention of the town bully and gets a crush on him. Son is subjected to alpha humiliation that gives him a hard-on which makes mother heartbroken yet keeps boy obsessed with tempting the savage. She marries the bully's brother and moves into the bully's home where he finishes her son off. Cumberbatch has no idea what a cowboy is. He jangles and jingles with exaggerated sounds of the west and comical highwaters but only his butt stood out. His pronunciation of "fatso" held no effect because he didn't know what the fuck it was. It's not a fact, it's a genial insult. His slow drawl compensates for an accent with no attachment to history. He is miscast because the safety of the participants prevails great art. No one is going to take a chance on a toxic male presence for reality's sake. Rick from The Walking Dead would have made a savage cowboy. Jane Campion is obsessed with certain keys of the piano and noises that no one else finds comforting. Kirsten Dunst would have given an award worthy performance if someone had written her one. Her character is scattered and listless. Hiring a tall boy doesn't diminish the film going Brokeback with a child. The film may not consummate it but we're not stupid. Jane Campion spends so much time lingering that the thought is lost. 06-Dec-2021
Shang-Chi & The Legend of Ten Rings (2021) 
It opens with a sober mythological tale. The action sequences lift our feet off the floor. Awkafina is refreshing. She makes corny scenarios funny. Simu Liu is a ripped pocket ass kicker. The story crumbles when daddy issues arise and Marvel wokeness and grandstanding are inserted. Motivations are vague, the writing can't keep up with the tech and by the end, the movement becomes an oncoming train. 21-Nov-2021
Latino violates fancy woman in front of her uppity husband. Fancy woman lets her guard down and enjoys it. Male toxicity ensues. Several accounts of the rape and murder are presented. Paul Newman was a distraction as a blue-eyed Mexican bandit, with a hulk wig, "grande" dick, grease paint and an "I hate gringos" accent. Most of the actors didn't conquer southern speech. Capt. Kirk played a priest that spoke words as if Shakespeare had written them specifically for him. All the versions add up to a hilarious finale that shouldn't have been. 12-Oct-2021
The game is a birthday gift from baby brother. Reclaiming the gift is such a useless bother. The tycoon wastes his time allowing assholes to invade his privacy so he can redeem a ridiculous punchline. The game is not attached to a kink that would make him tolerate it. Douglas growls beyond the script and Deborah Kara Unger bites decisively. Sean Penn's lack of exposure had him masterclassing to appear incoherently different every single time. The game is high grade nonsensical harassment cancellation. 08-Aug-2021
Mapplethorpe, The Director's Cut - (2021) 
A history making photographer tries to cancel the soullessness in art. Gay men in denial, destroying lives in their quest to appear wholesome and delicious for the ultimate dick. The first thing we learn is how to suck, the second, to fuck, third, pray for more and lastly, die a disease riddled and drug infested death. The dots are perfect for great gay sexual simulation but the direction is uncomfortable with it. Mapplethorpe sought perfection in a world that punished him for it. The movie punishes us. 18-Jul-2021
City whites decide to move out of the city after their son's expensive shoes get scratched in the city. They are afforded an estate at a very low price that belonged to an ex prison crusader on a warpath with whomever moves in. Sharon Stone is onboard to bore us doing motherly stuff as an affordable VP. Daddy Quaid's anger doesn't generate enough sparks to make us care. Christopher Plummer was unrecognizable. Juliette Lewis made it ashore to tingle the plot and remind us Cape Fear did it better. Stephen Dorff was delicious smack as a bad boy affected by parental sexual freedom that you will eventually spit out and nothing more. Teen Kristen Stewart was at her best, hanging loose, upfront and appearing to hate only half the planet. The ending is as cruel as the wait. 16-May-2021
Aaron Taylor-Johnson knew how to lead, Chadwick Boseman had no presence, Robert Pattinson had no rhythm and Christopher Nolan discovered the reverse button. The film was correct about one thing. If you fall asleep halfway through, you heal faster. 03-May-2021
Block Island Sound, The (2020) 
Wildlife is dying rapidly, daddy is acting strange, daughter has returned to investigate and brother is losing it. A conspiracy theorist is onboard to tell us what creativity can't show us and another sister joins to hate, mostly her brother. The ending is "WhyTF did I waste my time watching this shit?" 25-Mar-2021
