Movies Posts Tagged as 'Vague'
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Abuelita sacrifices her husband to magic and gets a brand new house. The house is alive with sorcery, the family is gifted with trickery and the town thrives on bountiful happiness. Men are useless and goofy. Women are Amazonian of the nosey kind. They only get into trouble when they walk into it. The voice cast is dreamy but Lin-Manuel Miranda's music is back to infect my ears with disjointed melodies. I couldn't hang on to any musical notes because more confusing ones replaced them. He's taking our ears back to when we were babies adopting to hearing. Goo goo ga ga sounded like a song but it wasn't. The film was culturally unidentifiable as the latinos were nondescript living in fairy tale land with one family under God, controlling the whole town like the mafia. TG climate change arrives to kill their magic. Kudos to the voice actors and the artists. 30-Dec-2021
The afterlife Anthony Bourdain would have lived if someone had stolen his truffle sniffing pig. Nicolas Cage rides shotgun on a road trip to nowhere interesting, with an undefinable buddy, to bring his pet home. The transition from woods to city, hurts. It's supposed to be a vehicle to re-establish Cage as a bona-fide actor. He is battered, humiliated, hated yet his composure remains the same. He doesn't give a shit. Cage doesn't get to rage and his breakdown is silenced. Adam Arkin sparked chills by spontaneously talking like Cage and raging how Cage did not. The words ponder nicely but deliver dribble. Imagination does not fly because intelligent thoughts are incarcerated. When imagination ceases to exist, I will still wonder if muting Nicholas' breakdown deprived us of his gift. Bourdain wasn't meant to be Indiana Jones, he was supposed to live long enough to accept his punishment. That's what it should have been about. 28-Dec-2021
Power Of The Dog, The (2021)
There is no dog in sight. Teen with effeminate ways grabs the attention of the town bully and gets a crush on him. Son is subjected to alpha humiliation that gives him a hard-on which makes mother heartbroken yet keeps boy obsessed with tempting the savage. She marries the bully's brother and moves into the bully's home where he finishes her son off. Cumberbatch has no idea what a cowboy is. He jangles and jingles with exaggerated sounds of the west and comical highwaters but only his butt stood out. His pronunciation of "fatso" held no effect because he didn't know what the fuck it was. It's not a fact, it's a genial insult. His slow drawl compensates for an accent with no attachment to history. He is miscast because the safety of the participants prevails great art. No one is going to take a chance on a toxic male presence for reality's sake. Rick from The Walking Dead would have made a savage cowboy. Jane Campion is obsessed with certain keys of the piano and noises that no one else finds comforting. Kirsten Dunst would have given an award worthy performance if someone had written her one. Her character is scattered and listless. Hiring a tall boy doesn't diminish the film going Brokeback with a child. The film may not consummate it but we're not stupid. Jane Campion spends so much time lingering that the thought is lost. 06-Dec-2021
Shang-Chi & The Legend of Ten Rings (2021)
It opens with a sober mythological tale. The action sequences lift our feet off the floor. Awkafina is refreshing. She makes corny scenarios funny. Simu Liu is a ripped pocket ass kicker. The story crumbles when daddy issues arise and Marvel wokeness and grandstanding are inserted. Motivations are vague, the writing can't keep up with the tech and by the end, the movement becomes an oncoming train. 21-Nov-2021
Outrage, The (1964)
Latino violates fancy woman in front of her uppity husband. Fancy woman lets her guard down and enjoys it. Male toxicity ensues. Several accounts of the rape and murder are presented. Paul Newman was a distraction as a blue-eyed Mexican bandit, with a hulk wig, "grande" dick, grease paint and an "I hate gringos" accent. Most of the actors didn't conquer southern speech. Capt. Kirk played a priest that spoke words as if Shakespeare had written them specifically for him. All the versions add up to a hilarious finale that shouldn't have been. 12-Oct-2021
Game, The (1997)
The game is a birthday gift from baby brother. Reclaiming the gift is such a useless bother. The tycoon wastes his time allowing assholes to invade his privacy so he can redeem a ridiculous punchline. The game is not attached to a kink that would make him tolerate it. Douglas growls beyond the script and Deborah Kara Unger bites decisively. Sean Penn's lack of exposure had him masterclassing to appear incoherently different every single time. The game is high grade nonsensical harassment cancellation. 08-Aug-2021
Mapplethorpe, The Director's Cut - (2021)
A history making photographer tries to cancel the soullessness in art. Gay men in denial, destroying lives in their quest to appear wholesome and delicious for the ultimate dick. The first thing we learn is how to suck, the second, to fuck, third, pray for more and lastly, die a disease riddled and drug infested death. The dots are perfect for great gay sexual simulation but the direction is uncomfortable with it. Mapplethorpe sought perfection in a world that punished him for it. The movie punishes us. 18-Jul-2021
Cold Creek Manor (2003)
City whites decide to move out of the city after their son's expensive shoes get scratched in the city. They are afforded an estate at a very low price that belonged to an ex prison crusader on a warpath with whomever moves in. Sharon Stone is onboard to bore us doing motherly stuff as an affordable VP. Daddy Quaid's anger doesn't generate enough sparks to make us care. Christopher Plummer was unrecognizable. Juliette Lewis made it ashore to tingle the plot and remind us Cape Fear did it better. Stephen Dorff was delicious smack as a bad boy affected by parental sexual freedom that you will eventually spit out and nothing more. Teen Kristen Stewart was at her best, hanging loose, upfront and appearing to hate only half the planet. The ending is as cruel as the wait. 16-May-2021
Aaron Taylor-Johnson knew how to lead, Chadwick Boseman had no presence, Robert Pattinson had no rhythm and Christopher Nolan discovered the reverse button. The film was correct about one thing. If you fall asleep halfway through, you heal faster. 03-May-2021
Block Island Sound, The (2020)
Wildlife is dying rapidly, daddy is acting strange, daughter has returned to investigate and brother is losing it. A conspiracy theorist is onboard to tell us what creativity can't show us and another sister joins to hate, mostly her brother. The ending is "WhyTF did I waste my time watching this shit?" 25-Mar-2021
Rental, The (2020)
Renting a luxury home owned by white supremacists when there is a minority in the group. The cast met the challenge, relationships were established but the surprise was overdue. It doesn't make sense that it would choose this particular moment to explode. They simplified the monster to avoid an impact. Franco insanity make the colors more vibrant but the director's lack of mythology gave us no reason to care about it.
Next time, go nuts! 01-Mar-2021
Space Station 76 (2014)
I watched expecting to find any reason to turn it off. It didn't feel like comedy but the players were so adamant on cultivating their characters that it gets downplayed as a natural part of life. They live in space, sometimes alone and sometimes with family. Some have seen earth, others have not.
Highlights of the future:
We still have to roll it, light it and smoke it ourselves
The robots seem like leftovers from the NINTENDO R.O.B. collection
The future has picked the 60s as their futuristic style
The tech must have been collected from PeeWee's Playhouse
There is only one child in the colony and it plagues her with panic. Her mother wants to deny her joy. Her pets keep dying because mommy hamsters have a tendency to bite their babies' heads off. Is it because she feels they don't have the skills to survive? That's how mommy explained it. Liv Tyler is the newbie getting accustomed to living with strangers and doing her best not to let anyone down. Her boss (Patrick Wilson) is hyper, mentally unravelled and suicidal because he can't stop jerking off to the Grinch. That was funny. Matt Bomer is married to lonely child's mother. She loathes the newbie because she has gained her daughter's affection and she likes her man. Bomer does a "pretty" acceptable job of being man trash.
A story about space that has nothing to do with nerdy technical explanations. I liked that. 13-Dec-2020
Abrams: The Boy 2 (2020)
The doll has a name but it's still beyond comprehension. The tidbits where they played with the doll's expressions was a cute opportunity that was underutilized. Making it react to things in a split second that no one is sure to see might have been fun. Owain Yeoman is a daddy water marker. Never too busy for work, the center of the universe, incompetent and not understanding of the language his son and especially his mother talks. Katie Holmes' dug sharply to give mom the suffocation of not being able to save her child from trauma and the burden of spending a lifetime treating him for it. She can't overcome her own because the kid is always reminding her of it. He was a witness. The more obsessed her son gets with the doll, the icier her mothering becomes. I wish there were a scene where she pummels it to death but no such luck. The set-up was too set, the 30's mystery cues didn't work and the next one needs to scrub the story clean. 18-Nov-2020
Smurfs: The Lost Village (2017)
Surprise. Eliminating Hank Azaria as Gargamel does not make a Smurf franchise better. Besides being objectified, gangbanged and being a procreator, Smurfette is confused about her purpose. She goes on an unenviable adventure to find herself amid little care from the audience. The best stories do not have big bang adventures. They stay close to home so we can empathize with them. Girl Smurf explores and becomes at Lesbian Forest but returns to Smurf Village for the bangs. Sounds about right. 09-Nov-2020
Over The Moon (2020)
Glen Keane weaves plenty of magic but the story cremates it. The mythology does not resonate as an inspiring fairy tale that would empower a girl by sending her out of the stratosphere. The how to the moon was unbelievable. I know its fantasy but my brain didn't even want to. Doesn't it cost billions to get a man on the moon? The moon is "gummi land" ruled by the protagonist of the mythology. Chang'e is an exquisite piece of animation whose suffering and selfishness make the circumstances obsolete. I liked everything about home. Home is where the magic needed to happen.
(Why are rabbits only cute in animation?) 04-Nov-2020