TV Posts Tagged as 'No Chemistry'
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Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022-)
S1E4. I bought a box of Depends so I could put up with the rest of the season. 13-Jun-2022
S1E1. The disease that made Hayden Christensen sink Darth Vader may have been borne from Star Wars speak not Hayden Christensen. The acting is horrible. The originals are the only ones that understood that nerdy language. The series recreates a legend whose ending has already been written but doesn't push it any further. To 2022? It's so corny I shit my pants backwards. 02-Jun-2022
Scenes From A Marriage (2021-)
It charges in promisingly. A class in master acting? No. Jessica Chastain fulfills her part but is lessened by technique directives that make her twitch and dishonest. There are no ass shots of Mr. Isaac's squishiness. He is a serious actor and nothing more. It's incomprehensible that couples talk about their marriage constantly. It's boring. 15-Sep-2021
Too Hot To Handle (2020-)
Yo, call a doctor! The human race is hornier than we thought. It's not just us, its everybody! The children are fucked! 03-Jul-2021
No sex games, stripper parties or porn stars performing anatomy tricks. No Casa De Amor with an hour free of rules to tempt anyone. A lame exercise in controlling the libido does not a better date candidate make and I have no idea what point it's trying to make. (The winner takes home about $12.00 after taxes.) 19-Apr-2020
The norm is hornier than I thought. Love Island Castaways land on Mt. Celibacy and are tortured into going straight. The women are boob jocks and the men prance around blowing bro bubbles. The understanding is that what an independent woman wants, is a servant. It's not daring or tacky, not willing to titillate on a channel that permits it and not willing to locate a winning politic. "Tom Holland future" is an eerie panty shredder, women are still reaching for the biggest/complicated things, unruly racism is itching closer to our faces and Jesus left because he couldn't stand them. 18-Apr-2020
Call Your Mother (2021-)
There is no reason to call her because she is the primary that needs parenting. Mother can make a dirty cheese muffin, attention grab the hell out of parental privilege and retract the independence from her children. A sexless black gay token is hired to fawn over white mama madness and the other is relegated to immobile chat calls as mama's bestie. The younglings have no idea how to create a spark and the son should have been gay. What's a crappy mother without a gay son? Boring. 21-Jan-2021
United We Fall (2020-)
Bland parental failure without boundaries. Do whatever doesn't disappoint most of the members and move on. It isn't that funny. There are no consequences or punishments. They fail and move on. 20-Jan-2021
Happiest Season (2020)
Lesbian with bad wig exploits girlfriend with bad dye job by coercing her to celebrate the holidays with her cult (family.) In-laws suck no matter how much they pretend. That sinking feeling you get is the truest. I thought that being loud and proud would supply Kristen Stewart with a personality but she remains dry ice. Maybe she's the wrong sex. I don't know where she was but she wasn't here. Dan Levy proves why I won't watch his Creek's shit. Just because the character is useless doesn't mean you can't steal it. I would have sexually cheated my way out of there and said fuck you to Whoville pudding.
(Uh oh. It ends in lesbian violence. No fucking kidding. They knock down a Christmas tree and everything.) 20-Dec-2020
Christmas Setup, The (2020)
A demure mouse and his follower spend Christmas with his mom to opine their inability to succeed at anything. Frilly city gay meets country dorky gay. It's a gay love story with grand support from a fairy goddess (Fran Drescher.) She huffs and puffs but everyone else is yawning. The romantic leads need some Goya beans to create a spark and Lifetime needs to do better impassioning the male community with quality man product. 15-Dec-2020
American Music Awards (2020)
Justin Bieber acknowledged that being gang banged by black male artists is why he mimics their rap and style. He also wanted to induct us into his new religion. Total fail. No man is going to join a religion that allows you to grow prematurely bald. Twink, twink. Taraji is the kind of guest you don't want to leave alone with white people. The Weekend donning Michael Jackson weirdness and surgery dedicated his award to gay hater Prince. "Katy Perry fat" makes a better live singer than Katy Perry normal. Wow, rap is so gay. I tuned out as soon as Derek Hough licked the camera. 23-Nov-2020
Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)
Thor hammered Drusilla (Buffy/Angel) into place. She was the hostess with listening skills.
When women unite its for solidarity when men do is to wreck. If Michael attacks vagina the way he did Aleks I can see why Stacey stayed a bit. For every ball that popped from a man's zipper there was a female clipper on standby. The boys didn't win because their time is never but they broke her enough to make a girl out of her.
Mishel and Steve served some Kanga and it was sort of cute if you're there but cringey watching from home. I entered Steve in the gay freebies league. We hand out exclusive bjs to needy fit seniors, celebrities and straight men. All done by text. (Yes, Michael gets a discount.)
Creep racer used his mates to rev Aleks up but all it did was bring forth how fast or creepy he may be. Whatever the problem, the X marks the same spot. Eek.
The wives were sideswiped by hubbies, families and friends. Drew, from the rainbow toy collection, arched his back in pride as KC was blasted by his mother monster. The toys exist to entertain his dates. Ivan turned into a creep racer and Aleks woke up. Mishel needs to allow Steve time to switch his sexual identity towards her or not. No more talking. Seb sliced Lizzie's unhealthy appearance which he fixed with a bone rub and a kiss. I can add privileged to Stacey's hub slime. If Jonethen doesn't watch out, he'll accidentally enter Connie because of that foot in his mouth. She doesn't understand. Run. 07-Aug-2020
Mishel could balance on the ladder steadier if she grabbed onto reality. It is hard to live by one mentality when others won't. Men are molded by ego and sex. Daddy Steve from a children's book usurped his power by insinuating his coolness should have indicated to the experts that he deserved a twinkly and less in charge wife. I believe he tried but the email he wrote his willy wouldn't SEND. Hey, I think she's beautiful but I wouldn't sleep with her either. It never would have mattered when he said it, the reaction would have been the same. The rampage was preordained.
I wish they could find a way for Hayley to return. Happily divorced and remarried. There is young love to smash, daddy behemoths to best and she can terrorize the squirmy one with the smashing ring finger. 01-Aug-2020
Future prediction: men and women will isolate from each other until the government lottery calls their # for procreation. The women will raise the girls; the men, the boys. No more raping, violence or in-charge arguments, amongst each other. The gays will gladly step up and be the bitches men want and the mother a boy needs. Mom and dad need to get rid of the fairy tale. Y'all hate each other! 18-Jul-2020
S7E7. It imposes fairytale concoctions on vulnerable beings and grants them the consideration that anyone can get married.
The experts are new age gods matching the expectant with the inexplicable. (I kept seeing nature every time they talked.)
Looks, age, discrepancies and peculiarities don't matter. If you change your outlook, the judgment retires.
People get really seriously brutally honest.
I am spooked, clenched and devoured. 21-Jun-2020
Thing About Harry, The (2020)
Generic romcom distinguished by queerness. It works best when exploring the stereotypes we fall into and avoid. Pan preference is introduced and established as a gay threat because no insecure man wants his ideal to have more romantic options than himself. The hunk swells stiff and the major bitches bitchily. The film loses so much without actor combustion. They are vying for our attention instead of inhabiting their personas. In a fairytale someone needs to get saved. Political enforcement does not allow vulnerability to empowered characters because the movement worked really hard to create it. A swinging soundtrack, amiable cast, "Up" cuteness and worth following. 06-Mar-2020
Little Mermaid Live, The (2019)
The detail I most remember from "The Little Mermaid," was how her hair moved. If you can't establish an artistic craft to convey that, the art is lost. She flew when she needed to swim.
My treasure list:
I haven't seen so much visible invisible wire since "I Love Lucy." Decorating them might have helped
The octaves were lower than the crowd cheer. Amplification was a problem
A hologram of the improbable fish might have sufficed instead of plastic muppets
Graham Philips proved a singing alpha as Auli'i Cravalho expressed hard work
John Stamos' cook was destined to fail even if he had done it in a thong
Shaggy was feeling the beat but something spooked him and he started whispering
You shouldn't stumble. Even a shark shows grace underwater
Having the cartoon enact emotions whilst the live mostly sang is lazy
A commercial that has the audience fleeing to watch the beloved classic is born. Magic! 08-Nov-2019