All Posts Tagged as 'Grating'
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Bear, The (2022-) 

The pacing was slow but I was patient. The cast were trying to create authentic characters and the lead was stalkable. That helps because you have to follow them and little Nic Cage a lot. It veered seldom from work, concentrated on personalities and the history that made them toxic. I wished the repairs were finished. Bonds seem stronger at work because they are constantly there. Creation flows when your personal life loses its seeds. S2E6 changed everything. I couldn't bear it. The episode was a spectacle of questionable art. I woke up from my coma to ask myself if I was being fooled. Did the jar spill beans instead of pearls? Was the lead hot or just in need of a bath? The same problems kept arising. Repetition with an artsy flair. I couldn't finish the episode, the show or the dinner. 11-Sep-2023
There's Something Wrong With The Children (2023)

Mixed raced couples spend a weekend away with each other and their latino kids. Things go awry when they hit a cave on their hike with a luminous hole that only attracts the attention of children, even though it later states that adults can go in it too. The only thing that changes after the incident is that the kids stop being snarky and in charge. They turn robotic, obedient and deadly, sort of. The friends start accusing each of things real and induced by vagina magic. The men react off-key and don't have much of a bond. The women have a hypocritical relationship. Telling the truth only applies if they're drunk, tested or just can't stand each other. The mother blaming her friend for the death of her child rang. The children don't scare and revenge is unfulfilled. I thought putting a little sombrero and poncho on the siblings would not have necessarily scared us but it would've created iconic characters, like Freddie. The scariest things arise from stereotypes, not hate. 23-Jun-2023
Fantastic Four (2005)

If you left kernels at the bottom of the popcorn bucket, expecting the movie to pop them, it does not. The origin story is deprived of force because of its oversimplification. Only three members achieved not looking foolish in their embodiments. Chris Evans steals everything with his bad boy swag, partial nudity and up to your imagination charm. Michael Chiklis was turned to brick, his eyes the main conveyor and I felt him. Kerry Washington was brave to enact being blind and fucking a brick dick. Ion Gruffud was chosen from a dork photo line-up. Jessica Alba decided to go bronze skin with blonde hair which is irrelevant to who she's portraying. I always envisioned Sue Storm as a mature-minded leader. Every breath Alba shared, purred, "I'm sexy, are you going to marry me or what?" According to the film, Sue Storm has no reason to powerfully exist except to stop traffic, plea for love, get undressed and be invisible. She's no Barbara Bain. Julian Macmahon's Dr. Doom made my popcorn explode with a whimper. He acted like he was in a live comic book written by those Power Rangers people. He cheapened the film. The film is more excited about what effects can do than establishing a purpose for a character's existence. Action is in a rush to move on and be forgotten. Its enjoyable but "let's put it in the kids' dvd section, for now. 16-Jun-2023
Shazam! Fury Of The Gods (2023)

A Saturday morning kiddie show that plays after the popular ones have aired and kids watch whilst having lunch. It can't shake off the silliness so it embraced it. Bad mistake. It only works if it's funny. Some of the writers asked their children what they would like to see and the parents yucked it up. Elegant ladies of maturity shouldn't have to wear clunky armor especially if they're witches. The villains are not much of a threat. They just need more "home" visits from the family. Why did they pile on so much ick hair and clothing on Hinsou's god? Zachary Levi. His solution when discomfited is to make a face or a nine year's old gesture. His younger alter ego is a teenager on his way to becoming a man. They work as separate units but not as a whole. They copy nothing from each other. Billy's best friend's storyline had the emotional heft that Shazam's didn't. It doesn't even take us on a fantastical journey. It was a scenic bus ride to Walmart. 07-Jun-2023
Your Place Or Mine (2023) 

Antipathy between lead actors destroys chemistry and longevity. I heard Clark Gable had toxic breath, yet it didn't stop Vivian Leigh from tonguing him down. 20-Feb-2023
White Noise (2022)

Spending all your time fearing death is not living. Independent housewives who feel apathy in their routine will take an ick to numb it. Of course, the daughter blames the ick for making mama forgetful. Maybe forgetting is the key. Dumb teenager believing everything they read on the internet and sending pregnant daddy on a mental loop cycle because she lost all common sense. He spends all his time annoying with german babbling, recounting tidbits of Hitler's art and bragging how it was the foundation for his career. It's time he paid more attention to his wife. Were the people the toxic cloud? It's irrelevant. It doesn't land and when it wants to, it spirals and crashes. The weight is on Driver but his character is unsympathetic. That's what happens when you try to cash in on someone else's legend. Gerwig lends nothing to a nothing woman that needed lots of pap smears and mental hospitalization. Except for the ick nagging daughter, all the kids were cutouts. Every time Cheadle approached to philosophize nonentities I wished Thanos would make him disappear. It yada yadas to death and says nothing. 02-Jan-2023
Willow (2022-) 

Oh, crap it's the girly man thing again... with lesbians! As soon as they started complaining about itchy dresses I reached for the button. What exactly are they supposed to emulate without respectable representation? Nobody knows because they would've written it by now. How is a boy supposed to exist in this timeline? Why can't we share our strengths? I did want to see Warwick, didn't get to because of all of the giant heads in the way. 09-Dec-2022
Martyrs (2008)

The only way women can see the light is if they get punished for being women. The opener cues you in, the orphanage grants the characters humanity, the grown up versions are psychotic, the violence is pukey and the horror is inane. The more intimate the story, the bigger the chills. Here, the bigger the story, the more impossible it sounds. I do not get off on seeing women beat and suffering endlessly esp. for stupid reasons, but I realized that lesbians might. The film avoids sex as a respect to all women. Dude, I'd rather go back in time and get raped again than suffer through this. 17-Oct-2022
School Of Rock (2003)

"James Corden" type entertainer teaches genius diversity how to rock out. Sex, drugs and rock n roll. 23-Oct-2021
Black Widow (2021)

Frivolous conversations, uninventive action, uninspiring support and bad Russian speak make for a non-movie event. 14-Oct-2021
Raya & The Dragon (2021) 

It wasn't made to include a "boy fantasy." 14-Jul-2021
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

So stupid, it's funny. 22-Jun-2021
Family Karma (2020-)

They are just like us. They shove success in our faces, the women are in a vendetta to exploit "the man" and secrete his juices and all the men have gay flair. A macho verdict gets upset because his gay bestie is spreading rumors that he's sucked over a 100 cocks. The gay apologized only for saying it. Wink, wink. They pray to give thanks for the riches this country affords them as their country dies. Is that the karma? 03-Jun-2021
Possessed (1947)

Can a failed secret affair cause a woman temporary insanity? Sure. The film piles plenty of symptoms and Joan Crawford obsesses about inhabiting all of them. She's haunted, Scream Queen, scared, frightful, conniving, confused, grating, bitchy, mother farcical and "don't fuck with me" Joan. She splits every arc into a different character. It was brilliantly insane but it didn't work. The man that made her brain ache played the piano, was a wordmeister, could fuck and always looked tired. He dumps her on the eve of her first hallucination whilst continuing to remain in each other's lives. He's just as crazy as she is except he's not getting diagnosed because he is not a "woman." After being told countless of times that he would never love her, she marries an old rich bastard to get his goat, he "up yours" her by proposing to her stepdaughter and Ms. Joan has a ball going nuts. Unbelievable psychology and too much genre (drama, horror, mystery, crime, comedy, romance, musical, etc.) deflate it.
(People that are crazy don't know they're crazy.) 14-Apr-2021
Debris (2021-)

Garbage that falls to earth from space causing peculiarities in the environment and people. The sap is so gooey it won't allow the drama to unfold. Every ten or fifteen minutes it's asking for tears or sympathy. That's too much. Why does the investigator supply such definite answers? Can't we take a gander at it and they write it in naturally, later? Not even daddy perk butt can seduce me to stay. 08-Mar-2021