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TV Posts Tagged as 'Pitchy'

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Designing Women (1986 - 1993) Woof

The characters are strong, the funny keeps you laughing, the writing was pensive, passionate and controversial, the originals were fabulous and a black man in a girl's dress is always funny. Once Suzanne and Charlene depart the sizzle and purpose is gone. A talented trio of actors become shadows of the characters they were replacing without a voice of their own. The fatter Delta Burke got the funnier she became. You can feel the antagonism in the writing though. She was saddled with savage criticism and disdain but her talent was her shield. We could have done with less Julia fits but nobody could sell it like Dixie Carter. She was legs, elegance and conviction. Annie Potts liberated herself and her character. She sounded like she could give birth to a McConaughey. Jean Smart aced dumb and won our hearts. The last two seasons are somber and desperate. TG Alice Ghostley and Mr. Taylor are there to be irreverent and hilarious. 30-Dec-2024

Tags: 1980s, 1990s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Pitchy, Political, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writing Reigns

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30-Dec-2024


Ultimatum, The (2024) ArfDowngrade

I get anxious whenever I hear Sandy's voice. She sounds like a spoiled housewife with a lozenge stuck in her throat and her reasoning for everything is ludicrous. I was disappointed that the Lacheys did not comfort Nick for having strong feelings about Sandy's infidelity. She claims that her and JR only kissed twice but cameras beg to differ. There were make-out sessions with extra cuddles under the sheets with no wet willies or stiff underwoods guaranteed and the bedbugs elicited the moans the cameramen thought they heard. Madame Web has spun her web and entrapped two gullible and dependent men in it. She is no victim. She likes them because they are not superheroes but think they are. I'm surprised the Lacheys didn't suggest JR whip out his dick for Nick (not Lachey) to suck. They humiliated that man mercilessly. Sandy brings out the toxic in me. TG it's almost over. Everything JR says is nonsense. Big men don't pretend they're on Fantasy Island on Max, don't want to get married but can't shut up about wanting it and oozes hostility when the jig is up. Is Zaina buying JR's love or paying for her exit? I still dig Caleb. He's the only one who tried to stand up to reason. His mystery deepens. He exists in his own little planet of misfit toys crashing onto earth. He acts like an over-chilled teen that mommy Mariah is afraid to disappoint because he will rebel and she'll have to have sex post relationship. When the original couples reunited it turned into a "how was school today, honey?" type scenario. After cashing in all the vouchers the producers promised them, every person was enlightened, the fairy tale is real, men never get woodies while cuddling, that bitch was not crying over her dog or JR, women are consumed by victimhood, asshole parents make asshole children who want to make more asshole children, the producers made them say that because 4 people thought the show was shit and this has been a turned-off season. 13-Dec-2024
Zaina and J.R. came to play. Neither has regard for the other or anybody else. Sandy came to annoy her lover and fuck hot shit. J.R. disrespected every man when he barred his fake wife from consoling her desperate husband after finding out their intimacy went too far. Morality clauses state that all couples must break up before embarking in new matrimony. Nick came to lose it, get free psychotherapy and nerve pills. Caleb's mellow puts me in a trance and it's why I presume Mariah is well-spoken but blank. He turns them into robots. He's sexy until he starts re-programming you. He turned Aria into a Stepford. 4 people woke up and realized the madness of The Lacheys and abruptly departed like in the island of Dr. Moreau. Exactly how many other people did the Lacheys fuck to realize they belong together? After the contestants departed the show became insecure and gave us more of what we didn't want. J. R. and Sandy's horny gas lighting. I want to fuck them both and hand them over to Pazuzu for some lady cement and calf extensions. You bet I'd watch the porn tape, but make no mistakes these aren't marrying candidates. They want to get married so they can pretend to be happy whilst performing diabolical sexual acts on others. J.R. and Sandy deserve most unfeeling humans honors. Nick should have been given an ultimatum, to cruise establishments that cater to singles and find another match or the experiment is over for the whore. "J.R., please remove your dick from my future wife's face." 08-Dec-2024

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Celebrity, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Drama, From Another Planet, Fun, Grating, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, NSFW, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Repetitive, Sap, Scary, Sex, Showy, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Talk, Trashy, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Basic, Writ Thin

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13-Dec-2024


Perfect Couple, The (2024) ArfDowngradeBitesEarly Exit

S1E5. Is it really a choreographed dance sequence if we hardly see the legs of the dancers moving? I can get children to do that in their high chairs. Liev Schreiber's character hit a sour note when he sang, became vain for no apparent reason and he sang again, at the beach because the script ran out of words. He's either miscast, or yucking it up. When Lady Nic was in the kitchen talking to the Blunt chick, her marker indicated she was talking to her from our right but she was to the left. Who was Nic talking to? The script was so thin I could only zip through the words. Direction had no perception as to what people need as opposed to what they want. I didn't care for the victim. She spoke on a platform instead of speaking from the heart. 10-Sep-2024
S1E4. It follows its previous achievement like a spiritual intervention. Lady Nic sparkles but has little action. Eve Hanson is an Emily Blunt snoop. I don't understand why she would have liberty to expose private family pieces. Of course, Scooter can come on me bucketfuls but why is he there? Dakota is livening up and I like it. Benji chose to become Frankenstein over Dracula because he knew his monster only liked girls. Liev Scrheiber fits a sexual attraction but not a breathing husband. Subjects are limited, the wait is cumbersome, it's going to cheat but Lady Nic looked Barbie doll great. 08-Sep-2024

Tags: 2020s, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Elegance, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Grating, Lifestyle, Mystery, Pitchy, Preposterous, Relationships, Sex, Slow, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, Wit Crack, Writ Basic, Writ Thin

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10-Sep-2024


I Kissed A Boy (2023-) Whimper

S1E6. There are more pronouns than there are twinks. Ben was an acquired taste with monkey energy. Josh felt out of place cruising non-homosexual gays. Ollie would be hotter if he didn't hike up his pants like Fred Mertz. Fred Gwynne is a top! Somebody is breathing the life out of someone who hates cats for a visa. Painted nails on men reminds me of Frankenstein. 19-Jun-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Celebrity, Gay, LGBTQ, Pitchy, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Stupid Funny, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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19-Jun-2024


Baby Reindeer (2024) BitesEarly Exit

S1E1. It blew me away like someone rejecting sex, with a wave of their hand. True stories don't have to try so hard. The ingredients were flame broiled and the tiny portions of reality chicken were blended. Ms Gunning enacted the written word but could not inflect a believable, funny or endearing persona. Did Gadd concoct an Amytiville or is he telling it wrong? Either way, the errors were enormous. I understood the first greet and meet because he felt sorry for her. By the second day it would take me five minutes to realize this is no good. I definitely wouldn't comp her another drink that she doesn't drink. (Wrong! Big people always thirsty.) He comped her throughout their relationship. I presume it came out of his till. I'd have as little interaction with her as possible and give her polite social distance. Gadd got everything he deserved for having a life that anyone could steal. He flirted and sexually harassed his tormentor because he thought it was funny and sane. That stuff only works on the internet, not face to face. The makers don't want us to ponder who any of the real people are because they don't exist? Even though some random looked her up in 1995 and obtained her life history? Is he a stalker+? Did he used to be fat? And maybe, that too!? He's suspicious and not funny, at all. 25-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Cliche, Comedy, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Fatigue, Juvenile, Lifestyle, Maddening, Manipulation, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Showy

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25-Apr-2024


Trevor Noah: Where Was I (2023) WhimperEarly Exit

Noah plays Detroit and spends most of his time talking about Germany's history (who cares) and woke shit (ack) that is not proven. He thinks he was there. He has nothing relevant to say, is not as funny as Matt Rife and is a little racist. 28-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Cliche, Comedy, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Egotistical, Pitchy, Politics, Preachy, Predictable, Stand-Up, Tacky, Tedium, Unfunny, Writ Basic

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28-Dec-2023


Married At First Sight UK (2015-) Woof

Reunion. I was put off that Hades and his minions had ceased to judge then I realized that not all foreign reality shows are made in the cryptic depths of Australia. The black judge is either gay or giddy. Jordan thinks that his supremacism won't show if he romances the same black subject five years later. George escaped from the Arkham Asylum. No George, you cannot control this chick because you can't sexually satisfy her. Kwame has James Bond issues. The lesbians are happy with any kind of pussy, even if it doesn't eat dog food. Hey judges, gay men can marry sisters but they fuck men. The pronoun starts with cis. If the lesbians can get one with a bow tie we can get one lousy butch. They exist. They made us. The supremacist stopped the show by being supreme. He dumped a weighty issue by adopting a more politically correct one. Thou mustn't abuse the power called race. We're running away together, bitch! If you complain you'll sound like a racist because she's black! Instant GET OUT OF JAIL card. 16-Jun-2023

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Egotistical, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Lifestyle, Pitchy, Predictable, Relationships, Romance, Silly, Tacky, Trashy, Writ Basic

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16-Jun-2023


Beef (2023-) WhimperEarly Exit

S1E2. I watched it once and it put me to sleep. I tried again and saw until E5 but it couldn't keep me in my seat. The actors didn't shake their co-starring status. The coincidences got silly. The reactions become predictable and repetitive. Rage is not specifically psychoanalyzed and character actualization is shallow. As I watched I thought, "who gives a fuck." In the end, I said "maybe I should go give a fuck somewhere else." 19-Apr-2023

Tags: 2020s, Cultural, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Fatigue, Juvenile, Overcooked, Pitchy, Silly, Tedium, Unfunny, Writ Basic

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19-Apr-2023


Sandman, The (2022-) Whimper

9-10. The showdown was anti-climactic because the Sandman's only defense is throwing sand in people's faces. 18-Aug-2022
S1E8. Raising Dion marks a return with a silly superhero suit, man nips and an unengaging sister. Lucienne hits dictation hard because she does not believe a word she says. Dream is making me laugh with how serious he is but the show is not. Corinthian grows wearisome and the raven and pumpkin feel out of place. Gault flickered economically. Good for her! 17-Aug-2022
Episodes 1-4 were a gliding introduction on skates but 5-7 cracked the ice. There is nothing in Patton Oswalt's voice that I would confuse for a mythological bird. The actors are best prior to the sixth episode with 5 being unbearable, 6 boring and 7 incapable of easing the many sexes and cultures gracefully. When the beautifully pale Morpheus with the tiniest lips and waist returns from episode hiatus, the interest is renewed. All else is Dr. Who/DC Christmas Special. 16-Aug-2022

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay, LGBTQ, Magic, Overcooked, Pitchy, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Stupid Funny, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Warbly, Writ w/Possibilities

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18-Aug-2022


Insiders (2021) Arf

Future homeless are secured in a glass house to compete in an experiment that has them auditioning to win money and fame. Nothing is what it seems. The actors are award winning, the contestants are frantic and the host is a delicacy. The cruelty is unbelievable. Reactions from participants are placed above their mental health. I questioned the point of the experiment. Did it want to show us how maladjusted all representation is? Are we all to blame for life's fallacies? They make you think, kill, fuck, fake, think, kill, cry, fuck, fake, rage. When emotions run high we get to see the kind of homeless they will become. The producers' fuckery is set to get inside our heads by inhabiting media stereotypes. Yo, I think it works. It's a Ring type thing. Once you watch it your cells start to die. But the host is so fabulous and I want to see more pocket daddy legs. Yeah, I'm fucked. 24-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Over the Top, Pitchy, Preposterous, Psychological, Questionable, Reality, Revenge, Sex, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Twisty, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, World, Writ Tough

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24-May-2022


Michael Landon: The Father I knew (1999) Arf

They asked a 6'3" player to act like a 5'9" giant dipper. Only women can feel the difference. Boy dreams of his celebrity father becoming a hero at home instead of inserting more strangers into his life. Celebrity boy rebels against father after daddy divorces the family for fresh "baby smell" poultry. The first time I witnessed a race to grandpa's lap crotch was the last time I blinked during any of the games. No offense Little Landon, but if you inherited his crotch, you'll be fine. 27-Feb-2022

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Bio, By the Numbers, Crapfun, Fun, Funny, Overcooked, Pitchy, Preachy, Relationships, Silly, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Basic

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27-Feb-2022


Joe Millionaire: For Richer Or Poorer (2022-) Woof

The Joes met the ladies' families. The organization could not release any family members of cartel girl due to safety concerns so they sent a muscle disguised as a GBFF. He was hilarious. One of the fathers became horny and cringey. He warned the Joes about his daughter's "down there" and nobody flinched. A spider? What? One of the Joe's thought the gay dads were strippers. What else would they be? They were good looking. 18-Feb-2022
The semi Joes eliminated the girl whose makeup couldn't hide her age. Hahaha. 03-Feb-2022
There is no one to explore except cartel girl. Mother demands that Tarzan Joe, her future baby daddy with no money, spare her all the attention, even if he's fondling another. Unfortunately, fondling is not acceptable if its done to your face. Cartel girl is desperate. She gets a call from the boss threatening to cancel baby feedings if she doesn't nab that millionaire. Meanwhile, the iguanas are falling from the skies. The men imprinted their preferences and I hope a smart woman remembers them. "The less make-up the better or young, goldiggers are just finger fucks, children are an item and men don't give a shit." - Joe Millionaire 29-Jan-2022
The unbalanced black flat chick ended her rage after it was discovered that she was too mentally unwell (she spoke truths that insane people don't want to hear). White people like to have fun. They don't whine if their hair frizzes up like their foe. They just reinvent it. The latin mother is so obsessed with her conquest that it feels like she has a cartel up her ass forcing her to do so. Adios. My pecker is like a compass and the needle is not pointing to either Joe. Can we bring original Joe in? He may be a hideous bear now but I'm sure he can still make slurps sing. 23-Jan-2022
It took two bachelors to add up to one Joe Millionaire. The original's historical "slurp around the world" was magnificence. My pecker picked the poor one until I got to know him then I switched. Tarzan hair is fun but he's such a pendejo. He has no sexual entitlement. Cowboy Cheeky is fuckable in a Chucky kind of way. He has a bubbly ass. In my day, they would have called the contestants, escapees from mental institutions. A desperate "housewife to be" decides to wear the same dress as another contestant. Neither chose to "rock" the shitty dress and left it up to the millionaire to decide which tacky slut filled it the least. It depends how gay the men are. Black girl gets drunk and starts feeling used. She goes on a rant. White girls are not having it so they plot. Mothers of America. Shame on You! You've turned your daughters into dumb sluts competing for basic. Original Joe hands. Classic. 10-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Comfort Food, Cowboy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fake, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hilarious, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Reality, Revenge, Romance, Scary, Showy, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Tough, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Tough

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18-Feb-2022


Single's Inferno (2021-) Woof

A different culture with precise goals, criticisms and charisma. It's the Bob Ross of reality dating shows because it illuminates everything, casts a spell and mansplains why men should exist in an established manner within slow strokes of genius. Bob Ross created trees from memory and turned landscapes into blossoms. I did not get accustomed to their tradition until I turned English dub on. I could memorize the texture of their speech and apply it to their emotions. It made me respect the nuances of a quiet nation, laugh and hurt with them and not get as angry. 14-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Egotistical, Emasculating, Fake, Foreign, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Pitchy, Predictable, Pretty, Psychological, Reality, Sentimental, Tacky, Writ Tough

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14-Feb-2022


Hawkeye (2021-) ArfDowngrade

S1E6. The land of absolute magic couldn't accomplish turning a brilliant D'Onofrio into the behemoth that he deserves to be. How much ass kicking and arrow shooting can we take? It was a lost moment to be brilliant and make a childhood comic-book fantasy come to life. 03-Jan-2022
S1E5. Jeremy Renner plays "that little bitch" in his own series. The female "kickass" trope is extremely tired and damaging, to all sexes. Bad Russian speak has returned and I'm starting not to give a fuck. The MCU has created a complicated mythological puzzle that future audiences won't tolerate because they didn't live through it and will be too stupid to piece together. 01-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Pitchy, Political, Preposterous, Showy, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Tired

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03-Jan-2022


Danger Force (2020-) Arf

Super daddy breaks up with his crack sidekick whose moved on to a new world. Super Daddy becomes a teacher to wee ones with special gifts. They are diverse and indistinctive. Babies are subjected to kidnappings, Brexit jokes, beatings, torture, homo flavor and death. Sex is left to our imagination. The kids are fighting a world that thinks them the punchline. Daddy crunch served with youthful subjugation and lots of gay spirit. 08-Nov-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Costume, Daddy Squish, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Preposterous, Stupid Funny, Wit Crack

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08-Nov-2021




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