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90 Day Fiancee: Happily Ever After Tell All (2020)  Woof

Andrei was a cause for American consternation as he declared himself a jigger, a wife, a mother, the household and the man of the house. The Americans reacted like someone took their right to vote away. I would have been much angrier at him if I weren't imagining him motorboating Larissa while Syngin jumped up and down, hair back and forth. Joy. Norman and Mrs. Bates tried to state a case for psycho being normal. "She deserved it, she's a money grubbing whore." So was Janet Leigh but she didn't deserve to die. The rocking chair (mother) attempted to stabilize the accusations but Norman was too busy slobbering on the cameras. It's ok, only fat hags, 12 year olds and stoopid girls got the gist. Eric seemed frustrated that there was no camera under his seat. So was I! Tonya only chimed in when the word psycho or narcissistic was raised. I wasn't looking at Angela's mask, I was looking at the bruises and scratches on her arms. Asuelo is not playing soccer every day. Nobody likes the sport that much unless you're a coach, an athlete or someone who can kick. He looks like neither. The only thing he's kicking is his dick. 27-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Silly, Travel, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tough

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27-Sep-2020


Married At First Sight (2014-) Howl

The experts supplied the duos with the "Know You" quiz I invented five years ago and we got to know them better. Women are going to have to decide if the switch of power is suitable for male/female relationship success. Men are displaying feelings, getting insecurities, are depressed and vagina does not like it. They've become sensitive mothers with no wombs. They wont dare go near one unless she writes "yes, please!" on their chests. Woody transmitted porn vibrations and a hurtful soul. Amani played along with him. They discussed getting a dog with Woods not wanting one and Amani demanding one. Same solution as with the kids. She gets a dog and the kids get smacked every time they don't pick up after it. Scuttle opened up to the ocean and the mermaid and she tail thrashed him. I felt bad for him. It's not her fault either. Everyone deserves to get who they want. The mismatch almost seems like a producer in-joke. Olivia called out Brett's sarcastic look, talk and breath. She "officially" proclaimed he was Jekyll in front of the camera and Hyde behind it. He answered every question like a male escort, drank a shark drink like it was real and ate his taco like it was Olivia. Karen's constant belittling of Miles sexuality makes it seem she needs to check her own. Miles sperm dried up when the expert suggested they take sex off the table. Dude, run! The expert's disdain for cats was a detail I wished I'd miss. After it attacked her she shooshed it away real polite and ratched. Banger wife re-attached a friend's finger after the Tree accidentally cut it off. I hope she flossed before the operation. Safety first. 24-Sep-2020
Daily routines were observed and only sarcasm relayed the truth. Amani spits toothpaste onto your hair. Woody awakens like a senior and avoids the night like a feeble. Olivia startles awake and Brett arises perfect. Tree Banger coyly called out wifey for a lack of cleanliness but she didn't bite. She's the breadwinner and he is the service. Case closed. The mermaid princess got together with another couple and ate Sebastian's grandchildren. Scuttle (the bird) spent half the time standing and perching. Amani attempted to have Scuttle confide in her but besides babbling about how impatience scares him, there wasn't much for Amani to capture from birdspeak. The princess was not amused that he thought her rude to her subjects. The bird, who never talks, complained about her lack of communication. They rethought things and decided the attention and cha-ching that may follow will be worth the marriage. To my chagrin Scuttle compared himself to a turtle. I blurted, "really?" His face twitches 50 times before a turtle blinks and are the feathers there to hide his shell? Brett attracted gay woodies at a rock climbing event then played "Trivia" at a bar with Olivia and her friends. The questions went over his head, he became surly and uncooperative exclaiming that what they were playing wasn't trivia. Wife was overcome with weakness, stepped out and had a meaningless conversation with her friend about how he doesn't want to be a part of them. I was team Brett all the way. The game was shit and the friends were condescending. Woody and Amani discussed child whipping. She was against it and he was raised with it. Of course, he acquiesced but thought...fuck it, a slap and a threat when she's not around, they won't tell. Executive decision yelled rape with a but. I have no understanding of her type. By proclaiming to be so empowered she has become the weakest bride. If you need to pay someone to show you what closeness is, you're a robot. Let the daddy loose or fuck his brains out. You only live once. 17-Sep-2020
Hollywood dating was in effect. Karen and Miles went food shopping. I would have picked up Popeyes before heading home just to annoy her. Executive Decision (Karen) declared foul once again. She can't deal being matched with a girl. What kind of bulls are in this woman's life? Daddy just wants some bear hugs, teet tweaks, a yank and maybe a pull. As soon as daddy put his sex foot forward, she yelled rape. She's not suitable for human contact. The Bangers went slacklining. I would have pulled out my scissors and cut the line but this couple is about celebrating every stupid little thing. The banana tree broke peer sex pressure and popped the wife which lent him "I can do better" arrogance as he regaled her for being unkempt and undutiful. He also chose space instead of her. That'll teach her not to clean the bathroom. The bird taught aquatic maiden to golf and a human tried teaching them to dance. I wondered if his head whips spontaneously back and forth during oral service. Olivia and Brett went on a Republican alligator expedition. Brett was especially upset when he realized there'd be no alligators attacking the boat or his wife. Stupid and funny reactions were enabled with an addendum stating Brett would be honored to push his wife out of a plane. 09-Sep-2020
The couples prepared for company. Brett called Pastor Cal a dik and went missing for hours. Next day he returned to celebrate his marriage to a nurse practitioner with free access to drugs. Party time. Brett compared his wife to Nurse Jackie and gossiped to his friends that there was a lot of big dick in Mexico. The Bangers played house. Tree Banger rocked some jack-o-lantern cotton as his head made a great wick. The aquatic princess couldn't think of a favorite childhood food even though she's a mermaid and was cooking fish. The Dracula wives made a return to authenticate that their bff was the best victim a woman could ask for - without the sex part. Karen softened to the idea of their being some Perry in Madea. The village partiers "sex bashed" the men that weren't measuring up. The chants in favor of rape were horrific. Do you want him to pull your hair? Yes, that would be nice. Choking. If he knows the safe word, yes. Will you let him say the first word? Absolutely! Can you beg to push things along? Absolutely fucking not, I'm still a woman. Rape. 02-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Abuse, Adorable, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Comedy, Comic Book, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Emasculating, Fantasy, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Home Improvement, Maddening, Manipulation, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Shrill Act, Suspense, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ For Short Attn Spans

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24-Sep-2020


90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? (2016-) Woof

Angela acted up a storm quantifying why she chose dik before mom. Octus ran out of Brazilian opportunists and blamed his mom for his douchery. Mama Bates deduced that Norman must fend for himself and she laughed and laughed. Syngin couldn't figure out if to get fatter or stay home. I'm still fucking Andrei with my eyes closed. Asuelu can't claim to be the head of a tribe if he doesn't provide for it. If he is the chief the mother claims him to be, there would be no money problems because big man would have earned it. Fuck him Kalani. More Eric ass "money shots" and Larissa charms enclosed. 23-Sep-2020
Kalani & Asuelu. Asuelu's family is a condition of suffering and bullshit that Kalani and her children don't need to burden themselves with. Elizabeth & Andrei. He's a monster you greedily fuck but never stare deep at. The wedding was mafia orchestration with lots of pork for meaty man ass and aggressive bulges. Sweet daddy footed the bill and big brother spat indignation. Paul & Karine. I finally understand why he took Karine to the shit chocolate waste factory. He wanted to show her that the worst places in America are still better than her hometown. What a dik. Colt sounds and looks like Octus from Sym-Bionic Titan, has the etiquette of an unwanted hand slider and creepy as fuck. His contempt and desire for women bulldozes their goals. Mother is the beast he can't slay so every woman is fodder. Larissa & Eric. Larissa was knocked out under plastic so Eric enacted a silly skit where it appeared he waited hours (7 mins. tops) but it was just an excuse to watch him pace back and forth. It was all fake worry and new booby play anticipation. Without the charms of Larissa to entertain us the cameraman oddly opted to focus on Eric's sloppy, puffed out and squishy ass print. 14-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Funny, Insulting, Juvenile, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Squish Alert, Tacky, Travel, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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23-Sep-2020


90 Day Fiance: Couples Tell All (2019) Woof

The word soulmate has been destroyed for me. Why does anyone think that another soul can be connected to you for eternity but not death. Tania is the female empowerment culled from watching too much Nick sitcoms and Jane The Virgin. Syngin needs to squish right out of there before he turns to squash. Anny. He's looting your ass. Mamita tell the grandmother you want a job in porn. Too bad for the cute kid. Juliana & Michael. I hope to see the Lifetime version of how it went down ten years later. Lesbian Ex Killers... Fuck 'em attitude all the way. Emily & Sasha. Girl, he fucked me at the gym. Good luck not reaching for them cookies. Jasmin is so ravenous that she turned Blake's eyes blue. Anna & Mursel. I can't tell if it's genuine but her son Joey isn't opposed to the marriage because he lost control of the household it's because he really thinks something is afoot and mama ignored it. The psychology is outdated. Mike & Natalie. Natalie is calling bullshit on the process by establishing that there is more than one reason to get a green card, she' just being brutally honest about the demands. Nice men always follow bad boys by giving everything but pleasure. Mike & Juliana. Walking on broken glass. Michael & Angela. Angela is the aggressor that will lead you out of danger. Her hopes and dreams are so gigantic that she almost makes it seem possible. She deserves to get herself some. Angela, the buffoons have been cursed. Wink, Wink. Twitch. Kaboom! 30-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Comic Book, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Predictable, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Sentimental, Showy, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Supremacism, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Tough, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, World, Writ Basic

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30-Aug-2020


90 Day Fiancee (2014-) Arf

S7E10. I understand the fulfillment received when a foreign embodiment decrypts what your own country can't give you...love. It's a trophy denied by the sameness in representation.

Juliana and ex-wife concocted a plan to destroy white daddy privilege. Juliana is smart. Happiness is never having to see white daddy privilege smirk again.

Blake & Jasimine. Dude, I had a relationship with her ex and every time I saw her, I shit my pants. He must like the punishment.

Anna & Mursel. The reason Mursel couldn't marry Anna is because the power in celebration has gone to parents' heads. Her eldest read it.

Robby & Anny. Ok, Anny is a fabulous creature that looks like my first girlfriend. If Robby doesn't provide for her like he promised their are bigger diks with extra bucks that will. Stop sleeping with your kid. You are making it easy for a pedophile to bed him. Would you like to snuggle, young sir?

Emily & Sasha. You can't change a communist. I've tried. Family first.

Tania & Syngin. If I were still a twink and still interested in sex I would enrapt her slave in realistic options and whip his hair back and forth. She is abominable. 29-Aug-2020
S7E3. Stoopid Americans invest on foreign trade hoping for love everlasting. Succeeding at not making their own dreams come true, the Americans construct a turkey pact to allow others into this country so they can destroy them. (We are built on the idea of slavery after all.)

Michael & Juliana. I hope he doesn't manage business the way she manages him.

Emily & Sasha. Emily is his last chance to get to America before his kid does.

Blake & Jasmine. Poor guy.

Anna & Mursel. The cherub and the bee. Anna cannot blame a man for not prioritizing her children. The kids are her responsibility and we live in a world where women make it their choice to matter. Give up the dik or hurt your kids.

Robby & Anny. Fool, get your son a bed! Fuck her. She's not here to play nice. The only way to be fashionable in a poverty stricken country is to provide special services.

Tania & Syngin. Jane acquired an injured bronco with free carpentry and boinking skills. It's your mother's house! She barely wants you there now. She will kick you out as soon that pitbull pops out your belly. She irritates like my sister. 22-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Best In Gay, Brutal, Camp, Creepy, Cultural, Drama, Emasculating, Funny, Inappropriate, Incomprehensible, Indecipherable, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Out of Place, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Psychological, Relationships, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Supremacism, Tacky, Thriller, Tough, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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29-Aug-2020


American Music Awards (2019) No MoonsEarly Exit

I have no words... 25-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Awards, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Celebrity, Cliche, Creepy, Cultural, Drag, Early Exit, Emasculating, Fantasy, Fatigue, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Out of Place, Pitchy, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Psychological, Religious Fanaticism, Repetitive, Sap, Showy, Shrill Act, Supremacism, Talk, Tedium, Warbly

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25-Nov-2019