TV Posts Tagged as 'Pitchy'
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Married At First Sight UK (2015-)
Reunion. I was put off that Hades and his minions had ceased to judge then I realized that not all foreign reality shows are made in the cryptic depths of Australia. The black judge is either gay or giddy. Jordan thinks that his supremacism won't show if he romances the same black subject five years later. George escaped from the Arkham Asylum. No George, you cannot control this chick because you can't sexually satisfy her. Kwame has James Bond issues. The lesbians are happy with any kind of pussy, even if it doesn't eat dog food. Hey judges, gay men can marry sisters but they fuck men. The pronoun starts with cis. If the lesbians can get one with a bow tie we can get one lousy butch. They exist. They made us. The supremacist stopped the show by being supreme. He dumped a weighty issue by adopting a more politically correct one. Thou mustn't abuse the power called race. We're running away together, bitch! If you complain you'll sound like a racist because she's black! Instant GET OUT OF JAIL card. 16-Jun-2023
S1E2. I watched it once and it put me to sleep. I tried again and saw until E5 but it couldn't keep me in my seat. The actors didn't shake their co-starring status. The coincidences got silly. The reactions become predictable and repetitive. Rage is not specifically psychoanalyzed and character actualization is shallow. As I watched I thought, "who gives a fuck." In the end, I said "maybe I should go give a fuck somewhere else." 19-Apr-2023
Sandman, The (2022-)
9-10. The showdown was anti-climactic because the Sandman's only defense is throwing sand in people's faces. 18-Aug-2022
S1E8. Raising Dion marks a return with a silly superhero suit, man nips and an unengaging sister. Lucienne hits dictation hard because she does not believe a word she says. Dream is making me laugh with how serious he is but the show is not. Corinthian grows wearisome and the raven and pumpkin feel out of place. Gault flickered economically. Good for her! 17-Aug-2022
Episodes 1-4 were a gliding introduction on skates but 5-7 cracked the ice. There is nothing in Patton Oswalt's voice that I would confuse for a mythological bird. The actors are best prior to the sixth episode with 5 being unbearable, 6 boring and 7 incapable of easing the many sexes and cultures gracefully. When the beautifully pale Morpheus with the tiniest lips and waist returns from episode hiatus, the interest is renewed. All else is Dr. Who/DC Christmas Special. 16-Aug-2022
Future homeless are secured in a glass house to compete in an experiment that has them auditioning to win money and fame. Nothing is what it seems. The actors are award winning, the contestants are frantic and the host is a delicacy. The cruelty is unbelievable. Reactions from participants are placed above their mental health. I questioned the point of the experiment. Did it want to show us how maladjusted all representation is? Are we all to blame for life's fallacies? They make you think, kill, fuck, fake, think, kill, cry, fuck, fake, rage. When emotions run high we get to see the kind of homeless they will become. The producers' fuckery is set to get inside our heads by inhabiting media stereotypes. Yo, I think it works. It's a Ring type thing. Once you watch it your cells start to die. But the host is so fabulous and I want to see more pocket daddy legs. Yeah, I'm fucked. 24-May-2022
Michael Landon: The Father I knew (1999)
They asked a 6'3" player to act like a 5'9" giant dipper. Only women can feel the difference. Boy dreams of his celebrity father becoming a hero at home instead of inserting more strangers into his life. Celebrity boy rebels against father after daddy divorces the family for fresh "baby smell" poultry. The first time I witnessed a race to grandpa's lap crotch was the last time I blinked during any of the games. No offense Little Landon, but if you inherited his crotch, you'll be fine. 27-Feb-2022
Joe Millionaire: For Richer Or Poorer (2022-)
The Joes met the ladies' families. The organization could not release any family members of cartel girl due to safety concerns so they sent a muscle disguised as a GBFF. He was hilarious. One of the fathers became horny and cringey. He warned the Joes about his daughter's "down there" and nobody flinched. A spider? What? One of the Joe's thought the gay dads were strippers. What else would they be? They were good looking. 18-Feb-2022
The semi Joes eliminated the girl whose makeup couldn't hide her age. Hahaha. 03-Feb-2022
There is no one to explore except cartel girl. Mother demands that Tarzan Joe, her future baby daddy with no money, spare her all the attention, even if he's fondling another. Unfortunately, fondling is not acceptable if its done to your face. Cartel girl is desperate. She gets a call from the boss threatening to cancel baby feedings if she doesn't nab that millionaire. Meanwhile, the iguanas are falling from the skies. The men imprinted their preferences and I hope a smart woman remembers them. "The less make-up the better or young, goldiggers are just finger fucks, children are an item and men don't give a shit." - Joe Millionaire 29-Jan-2022
The unbalanced black flat chick ended her rage after it was discovered that she was too mentally unwell (she spoke truths that insane people don't want to hear). White people like to have fun. They don't whine if their hair frizzes up like their foe. They just reinvent it. The latin mother is so obsessed with her conquest that it feels like she has a cartel up her ass forcing her to do so. Adios. My pecker is like a compass and the needle is not pointing to either Joe. Can we bring original Joe in? He may be a hideous bear now but I'm sure he can still make slurps sing. 23-Jan-2022
It took two bachelors to add up to one Joe Millionaire. The original's historical "slurp around the world" was magnificence. My pecker picked the poor one until I got to know him then I switched. Tarzan hair is fun but he's such a pendejo. He has no sexual entitlement. Cowboy Cheeky is fuckable in a Chucky kind of way. He has a bubbly ass. In my day, they would have called the contestants, escapees from mental institutions. A desperate "housewife to be" decides to wear the same dress as another contestant. Neither chose to "rock" the shitty dress and left it up to the millionaire to decide which tacky slut filled it the least. It depends how gay the men are. Black girl gets drunk and starts feeling used. She goes on a rant. White girls are not having it so they plot. Mothers of America. Shame on You! You've turned your daughters into dumb sluts competing for basic. Original Joe hands. Classic. 10-Jan-2022
Single's Inferno (2021-)
A different culture with precise goals, criticisms and charisma. It's the Bob Ross of reality dating shows because it illuminates everything, casts a spell and mansplains why men should exist in an established manner within slow strokes of genius. Bob Ross created trees from memory and turned landscapes into blossoms. I did not get accustomed to their tradition until I turned English dub on. I could memorize the texture of their speech and apply it to their emotions. It made me respect the nuances of a quiet nation, laugh and hurt with them and not get as angry. 14-Feb-2022
S1E6. The land of absolute magic couldn't accomplish turning a brilliant D'Onofrio into the behemoth that he deserves to be. How much ass kicking and arrow shooting can we take? It was a lost moment to be brilliant and make a childhood comic-book fantasy come to life. 03-Jan-2022
S1E5. Jeremy Renner plays "that little bitch" in his own series. The female "kickass" trope is extremely tired and damaging, to all sexes. Bad Russian speak has returned and I'm starting not to give a fuck. The MCU has created a complicated mythological puzzle that future audiences won't tolerate because they didn't live through it and will be too stupid to piece together. 01-Jan-2022
Danger Force (2020-)
Super daddy breaks up with his crack sidekick whose moved on to a new world. Super Daddy becomes a teacher to wee ones with special gifts. They are diverse and indistinctive. Babies are subjected to kidnappings, Brexit jokes, beatings, torture, homo flavor and death. Sex is left to our imagination. The kids are fighting a world that thinks them the punchline. Daddy crunch served with youthful subjugation and lots of gay spirit. 08-Nov-2021
90 Day Fiancee: Tell All (2021)
The legend of the Leprechaun
Pt.2. Tarik and Hazel. Why is everyone pretending Tarik doesn't want to fuck Minty? Dude, her name is Minty. Minty doesn't like women but she's pretending to so she can steal Hazel's green card. "Bitch, get your own chump!" Andrew and Amira. I'm surprised she can travel. She doesn't move much.
It ended abruptly and it was Natalie's turn. WTF?! 19-Apr-2021
Pt.1. Yara & Jovi. Jovi likes strippers because they make him cum. Mike & Natalie. Natalie might qualify for "best supporting actress in a documentary" at next year's Academy Awards. Mike is a beastly leprechaun. He promises her his pot of gold then takes it back. The beast got shot projectiles for finding a unique way to explain cheating on Natalie. The prize for the humiliation is five years of extra fucks for him and a smelly closet, a freezing home, a pig, carrots and some company for her. I hope someone asks Natalie if she's a hardcore fan of Alison Argram who played Nellie Oleson on Little House... Brandon & Julia. Julia gave all the males woodies and squirms whilst describing her career, esp. Jovi and Brandon's dad. The Boy's mother almost choked from twitching closed her emotions. Rebecca & Zied. Tiffany's friend flirted with Zied and fucked Tiffany's husband. His guilt oozed right off the screen even though nobody accused him of anything. Zied didn't fuck Rebecca when she got naked in the hot tub because the lighting was off. Andrew & Amira. She couldn't breathe so she put a sexy bustier on to help the oxygen circulate. Andrew got his hair ironed for nothing. 13-Apr-2021
90 Day Fiance (2014-)
"The Boy" read the Russian incantation that turns him into a doll during his wedding ceremony. Mike seems to be the only cast member to have understood the irony of The Americans. Natalie freaked out about the fat fuck not marrying her like they were giving out Emmys for it. "Best Outburst By A Communist" in the reality TV genre. 28-Mar-2021
It no longer seems viable that the main purpose of the show is to celebrate interracial marriage. It's a business contract. Men who have trouble corralling local women have to go abroad to find a strong woman willing to give them what a man needs and able to fight to keep it true. More babies; more man freedom. Unfortunately for man, women are evolving all over the world and man has no time to ponder. They nag as much as the American bitches.
A woman with power fishes overseas because she needs to feel like a woman again by the crude affections of a foreign alpha with a penchant for America, sex, shackling, expensive gifts and more money. I don't think getting your head chopped off for an orgasm is worth it but... They all deserve each other.
(P.S. Did Julia call "The Boy" a doll? Awesome. He's turning.) 01-Mar-2021
Natalie and Mike's ferocious mother. Natalie turned into WandaVision for one night and it was glorious. Does her country allow her to be this independent and vocal? She was on a mission to get what she deserves. Mama came onboard to judge. Both women were hardheaded. Mama Ferocious smeared Rachel with butter and slapped her son with a tail and an elephant moniker. They were Avengers united in the quest to do what's best for Mike. Unload him/inherit him. Brava! Rachel won the day and our hearts. Has she? Madame Meow and her son. Meow forgot to check the other ten phones he's hiding at his girlfriend's house. He's setting her up and she is letting him. Why? It's dangerous to conceive that her actions are ok because she likes it. Andrew and Amira. Nasty, dude. Maybe what The Boy needs on the farm is a man. 26-Jan-2021
Garbage that falls to earth from space causing peculiarities in the environment and people. The sap is so gooey it won't allow the drama to unfold. Every ten or fifteen minutes it's asking for tears or sympathy. That's too much. Why does the investigator supply such definite answers? Can't we take a gander at it and they write it in naturally, later? Not even daddy perk butt can seduce me to stay. 08-Mar-2021
Casados Con Hijos (2004-)
Married With Children adapted for Colombian TV. The cast and writers are frying the American version in nastiness. They break all the rules that we police. Al is ridiculous and mama makes Peggy proud. Bud fucks his uncle's wife before the wedding and Kelly literally fucks the whole town. It's free, it's stupid, it makes me laugh before singing me to sleep. There's nothing like family. 06-Mar-2021
You can successfully write stupid if the cast is willing to forego all boundaries and accept the stupidity in all of us. It can be unrealistic, silly but fun. There are more misses than hits but when they do, they are uproarious. Kisses to Queen Kong and a supportive staff, cunning to break out. 14-Feb-2021
Call Your Mother (2021-)
There is no reason to call her because she is the primary that needs parenting. Mother can make a dirty cheese muffin, attention grab the hell out of parental privilege and retract the independence from her children. A sexless black gay token is hired to fawn over white mama madness and the other is relegated to immobile chat calls as mama's bestie. The younglings have no idea how to create a spark and the son should have been gay. What's a crappy mother without a gay son? Boring. 21-Jan-2021