TV Posts Tagged as 'Warbly'
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La Palma (2024)

I was invested until the end. The characters had depth and appeal but made little sense. In what world do children overreact because their parents are arguing? Teens don't give a fuck. I didn't understand the rift between mom and dad. He promised to acquiesce to her regiment but chose happiness instead. She dreams of a proper dick that can soothe her needs and hubby acknowledges that by drinking 3 vase beers every night. What's wrong with that? Autism should never be utilized as a gimmick. No regular person would ever figure out those coordinates. They would die. Fake comebacks are exhausting and disrespectful to artists who actually wring emotions out of concept. A disaster movie without climate deaths is like Godzilla with no breath. The parting of the ocean was only seconds. You can't be edgy or effective if the description is it's like Swiss Family Robinson without a budget...or deaths...except that guy in the back. 24-Dec-2024
Ultimatum, The (2024) 

I get anxious whenever I hear Sandy's voice. She sounds like a spoiled housewife with a lozenge stuck in her throat and her reasoning for everything is ludicrous. I was disappointed that the Lacheys did not comfort Nick for having strong feelings about Sandy's infidelity. She claims that her and JR only kissed twice but cameras beg to differ. There were make-out sessions with extra cuddles under the sheets with no wet willies or stiff underwoods guaranteed and the bedbugs elicited the moans the cameramen thought they heard. Madame Web has spun her web and entrapped two gullible and dependent men in it. She is no victim. She likes them because they are not superheroes but think they are. I'm surprised the Lacheys didn't suggest JR whip out his dick for Nick (not Lachey) to suck. They humiliated that man mercilessly. Sandy brings out the toxic in me. TG it's almost over. Everything JR says is nonsense. Big men don't pretend they're on Fantasy Island on Max, don't want to get married but can't shut up about wanting it and oozes hostility when the jig is up. Is Zaina buying JR's love or paying for her exit? I still dig Caleb. He's the only one who tried to stand up to reason. His mystery deepens. He exists in his own little planet of misfit toys crashing onto earth. He acts like an over-chilled teen that mommy Mariah is afraid to disappoint because he will rebel and she'll have to have sex post relationship. When the original couples reunited it turned into a "how was school today, honey?" type scenario. After cashing in all the vouchers the producers promised them, every person was enlightened, the fairy tale is real, men never get woodies while cuddling, that bitch was not crying over her dog or JR, women are consumed by victimhood, asshole parents make asshole children who want to make more asshole children, the producers made them say that because 4 people thought the show was shit and this has been a turned-off season. 13-Dec-2024
Zaina and J.R. came to play. Neither has regard for the other or anybody else. Sandy came to annoy her lover and fuck hot shit. J.R. disrespected every man when he barred his fake wife from consoling her desperate husband after finding out their intimacy went too far. Morality clauses state that all couples must break up before embarking in new matrimony. Nick came to lose it, get free psychotherapy and nerve pills. Caleb's mellow puts me in a trance and it's why I presume Mariah is well-spoken but blank. He turns them into robots. He's sexy until he starts re-programming you. He turned Aria into a Stepford. 4 people woke up and realized the madness of The Lacheys and abruptly departed like in the island of Dr. Moreau. Exactly how many other people did the Lacheys fuck to realize they belong together? After the contestants departed the show became insecure and gave us more of what we didn't want. J. R. and Sandy's horny gas lighting. I want to fuck them both and hand them over to Pazuzu for some lady cement and calf extensions. You bet I'd watch the porn tape, but make no mistakes these aren't marrying candidates. They want to get married so they can pretend to be happy whilst performing diabolical sexual acts on others. J.R. and Sandy deserve most unfeeling humans honors. Nick should have been given an ultimatum, to cruise establishments that cater to singles and find another match or the experiment is over for the whore. "J.R., please remove your dick from my future wife's face." 08-Dec-2024
Agatha All Along (2024)

Rio stole it. Her cackle was magnifico. 01-Nov-2024
No one rocked their costumes and I had no idea what the legend was supposed to be. TG it was all about her. She always sounds dulcet and like she's singing her words. The mythology is too expansive to look up. I can only judge what I see. Billy is not living up to its promise. I keep picturing the actor with a backpack. Hello, Rio. 26-Oct-2024
The twenty minutes away from you know who was a respite. It almost started to sing except it tried a Murf on a Marvel. 18-Oct-2024
I released all my chakras for opinions and they couldn't concede that Agatha was a good actress. I thought the Wiccan was Loki's son. Did the 90's show get canceled because Rupp died early? We need to replace Kath with a Barbra. She, at least can sing. It would also light Patti up. Dark treks are unappealing, the characters are slow to unite and the constant parody is disrespectful to a story that might have soared had it been edited to make us care. It's way beyond my puberty level. 13-Oct-2024
I can't explain what I saw because all I heard were screeching tires speeding through acting school. It's so H.R. Puff n Stuff. She goes one step beyond over and is not convincing in multiple roles. My favorite Wednesday knows what to do. The legends would follow suit except they don't know what they're saying. Agatha gives good face without the elocution to match. I gave her a chance but she didn't convince me. Nothing else matters. 21-Sep-2024
Deal or No Deal Island (2024-)

I remembered the old lady for five minutes but Boston Rob is the only contestant I retained. Fucker doesn't even need to show his dad bod. All anybody wants from him is the permission to suck his dick as he calls you a cunt or a slut in that indefinable accent. Manganiello can disrobe and watch. 10-Apr-2024
Golden Bachelor, The (2023)

Fuckboy! 01-Dec-2023
Daddy couldn't help himself from trying the new luggage he won on Let's Make A Deal. He showed Leslie how wires helped him move around the house and bestowed on Theresa, only sexual regard. 20-Nov-2023
Daddy gold was forced to walk and run, though I believe the run was CGI'd. Gerry was very vague when discussing how he felt about Theresa to her grandchildren and daughter. When he eye fucked Theresa's daughter she reacted like she liked it. I'm sure she wasn't listening to anything he was saying because he was saying that he wasn't in love with her mother. Either he let the cat out of the bag or he's a better actor than I thought. I ponder why Gerry is called Gary when it should be Jerry. 03-Nov-2023
Palmer didn't eyefuck anybody because he wasn't alone with them. Oh well, there's still paradise. Is the show on realtime? Do they walkie talkie what the public thinks to the producers? They made daddy walk. He only walked a few steps but every time he asked to walk a girl out he was holding on to them for dear life. When he opened the car door for a dumped, the producers rigged his suit jacket to hold him up. Good wire work. If talking about your ex on a first date is rude, why does it get a pass in old age? We found out that daddy is not made of gold, he bruises whenever a woman he doesn't care for touches him. Maybe, she's made of fire. 27-Oct-2023
What pickle ball means: Age deteriorates the quality of the vegetable, but rarely causes them to actually become unsafe for consumption IMO. Pickling is used to preserve foods and in the environment of brine, they last pretty well forever. That said, the texture and flavorings are going to get funky after a couple of years. 20-Oct-2023
Whilst the ladies were slapping old man's balls our daddy gold was sitting. When he appeared on an ATV he sat throughout. He made out with any lips that came towards him, sitting down. The rose ceremony took much longer because daddy had to sit after every rose. He pretended to be a gentleman but we know the handicapped woman helped him walk out. That lady whose daughter was getting married as she was clapping balls didn't give two shits. Mother is not a title but an action. I'm sure the son-in-law was relieved she wasn't there to fuck up his wedding. Becoming ill was karma. Not telling women playing I've Never... that she was milk intolerant was like going to an orgy and having sex with everybody whilst knowing you have crabs. Captain Sandy with a wig has munched on ladies before but is a bottom, now. A judge Judy superfan told another contestant to ziploc her joy. 20-Oct-2023
I tuned in because I wanted to survey the old hunk. There is no way a 72 year old can look that good. He's handsome, a people pleaser, tastes like Spanish Fly and wants to fuck. He proved his age when it took him about twenty minutes to put on his shoes. Good editing. Wink, wink. There were no Goldiggers amongst the 20 but I noticed a few madams and ex whores. Including younglings would have created the tension women of that age experience. Most of the elder women were loopy, defining an era that's no longer safe. I like Ellen. I don't know why but I do. One of the women looked like Captain Sandy in a black wig, the Maude impressionist was kicked out, Jesse eye-fucked the bachelor and I felt grandpa's burden. Every time he votes out an eccentric aunt, America will judge him. "The man is dumping grannies!" 30-Sep-2023
Bear, The (2022-) 

The pacing was slow but I was patient. The cast were trying to create authentic characters and the lead was stalkable. That helps because you have to follow them and little Nic Cage a lot. It veered seldom from work, concentrated on personalities and the history that made them toxic. I wished the repairs had finished. Bonds seem stronger at work because they are constantly there. Creation flows when your personal life loses its seeds. S2E6 changed everything. I couldn't bear it. The episode was a spectacle of questionable art. I woke up from my coma to ask myself if I was being fooled. Did the jar spill beans instead of pearls? Was the lead hot or just in need of a bath? The same problems kept arising. Repetition with an artsy flair. I couldn't finish the episode, the show or the dinner. 11-Sep-2023
Muted (2023-) 

As soon as I confused the boyfriend with the main character, I booked. Dude, I thought his marks were fake. Wow, he looked better in the past. Boo, I just insulted a person. They were both lovelies. I was watching on a different wavelength. I didn't want to have to rethink my imaginary flashbacks. The lady in charge of investigation hinted that it was schlock anyway. 31-May-2023
Devil In Idaho (2022-)

A mother aids a teen escaping from a restrictive family with juvenile religious beliefs. Yes, all families are cults. The child with satan's tattoo ingratiates herself to the modern family but overstays her unwelcome. Mother is the most decisively written character. The child becomes an obsession because it is like her. In pain, pretending everything is honkey dory with a dash of hope that the next best thing will save her but she's always fucked. Carrie is the series inspiration. It reminds you without embodying any of the traits that make the original great. Madeleine Arthur could not find the dorkiness in the character because she doesn't consider herself one. Elegant Creepmeister is what the character demanded. There was no significant difference between the before and after makeover except maybe a bath. The daughters wrought faithful feelings trying to decipher why mommy prefers to hang out with a freak. Naomi Tan was aware of everything and we feel her the most. I couldn't tell the love interest and gbf apart. I thought her love interest was gay throughout most of it. I'm a dork. The gay bestie was a letdown because he only cared about being friends if they didn't befriend others. That's not a friend, it's a husband. Sam Yaeger's daddy was interactive with audience imagination despite his thin storyline. We imagined that he was the kind of daddy that would fuck everything in his path including that old realtor and the cop. The cop took me back to Lost. Remember, the egyptian looking guy with the eyeliner? Yeah, I wanted to fuck him while studying his face. The cop investigation was weak and amateur but he sure was pretty. Penikett is a howl as a parent whose ignorant beliefs are jeopardizing the family but gettting him community clicks. His diction came very close to "wascally wabbit." The cult and action were silly but the heart was in a tight space. The study contains brilliant pieces that needed to spread out. 19-Jan-2023
Watcher, The (2022)

Moving to a new neighborhood is like finding extended family. Neighbors expect things of you. You fake your way out, you eventually fall into their trap and they change you. Jennifer Coolidge is in it. She was mighty confident pulling out question marks. She's all you'd expect and more. Margo Martindale is sublime as a sparring neighbor that's always lawfully right. The asshole who I think claimed all men want to sleep with their daughters was intriguing. Mia Farrow was wasted as a tree communicator/hugger/companion. A neighbor that excludes humans from the safety of the environment is a nag. Every time Papa Cannavale raged, my loins pleasantly shifted but when he didn't stop, I got ED. The Wakandan investigator seemed too fabulous to be in this realm. Real-life haunted house stories are bullshit. A bunch of brilliant people coming up with an idea of creating history by actually destroying people's lives and documenting it. All I wanted was to see Martindale and Coolidge go at it. Coolidge as a porn star neighbor with loud parties and sex orgies (ooh ooh, she can invite Stifler), colorful guests and Martindale doing what she does best with lesbian tendencies. Ryan puts our head in a tumbler and expects us to figure it out. On what basis? 14-Oct-2022
Sandman, The (2022-)

9-10. The showdown was anti-climactic because the Sandman's only defense is throwing sand in people's faces. 18-Aug-2022
S1E8. Raising Dion marks a return with a silly superhero suit, man nips and an unengaging sister. Lucienne hits dictation hard because she does not believe a word she says. Dream is making me laugh with how serious he is but the show is not. Corinthian grows wearisome and the raven and pumpkin feel out of place. Gault flickered economically. Good for her! 17-Aug-2022
Episodes 1-4 were a gliding introduction on skates but 5-7 cracked the ice. There is nothing in Patton Oswalt's voice that I would confuse for a mythological bird. The actors are best prior to the sixth episode with 5 being unbearable, 6 boring and 7 incapable of easing the many sexes and cultures gracefully. When the beautifully pale Morpheus with the tiniest lips and waist returns from episode hiatus, the interest is renewed. All else is Dr. Who/DC Christmas Special. 16-Aug-2022
Grace & Frankie (2015 -)
The art of adorability. I would have been fine with a Dolly God. 08-Jun-2022
The new feedings are delicious. 21-Jan-2019
The characters were allowed to age in disgrace and we felt for them. 11-Jul-2018
Jane steps up to Lilly's pedestal and the gay daddies are finally getting storylines worthy of their aptitude and our senior representation. The adorableness takes away some of the fear of getting older and the girls supply a comfortable environment to bask in. 16-Jun-2017
We can totally do without the stereotypical husbands. All we need is Fonda and Tomlin and a phone book.The only thing that can make it better is Dolly. Legends. 31-Dec-2015
Insiders (2021)

Future homeless are secured in a glass house to compete in an experiment that has them auditioning to win money and fame. Nothing is what it seems. The actors are award winning, the contestants are frantic and the host is a delicacy. The cruelty is unbelievable. Reactions from participants are placed above their mental health. I questioned the point of the experiment. Did it want to show us how maladjusted all representation is? Are we all to blame for life's fallacies? They make you think, kill, fuck, fake, think, kill, cry, fuck, fake, rage. When emotions run high we get to see the kind of homeless they will become. The producers' fuckery is set to get inside our heads by inhabiting media stereotypes. Yo, I think it works. It's a Ring type thing. Once you watch it your cells start to die. But the host is so fabulous and I want to see more pocket daddy legs. Yeah, I'm fucked. 24-May-2022
Welcome To Eden (2022)

Younglings disabled on an island made to specifically serve two people. They are climate changers choosing nature over life. Death shall come to all except the ones who fight it. The mythology is not sensible or sustainable. The island surveils people without audio. The audio is everything. So poor. The boys are pretty in every sense and the girls are protein shakes. The relationships usurped all the interest that kept us glued to the nonsense. 19-May-2022
Married At First Sight (2014-)

S11E12. Memories. Tree Banger expressed joy at being matched with a jungle woman. Banger Jungle roared and squelched like that funny actress on Wonder Woman 2 with shittier effects. Woody continued his act. The wife may be slaughtered when unable to scream. What the fuck does that mean? He fucked up my channel. If Freddy had designed nightmare wet dreams Brett would be in all of them. Olivia is a dream that awakens despair. I could have strangle fucked the bird and he would have said, "now you're getting it," as the mermaid holds a ray gun to my head that stuns dick. Miles and Karen. Miles, in my hood, you would have arrived at satisfaction, received a polish and a topper, a perfect manicure and a shave and wet worship manhandling. He would return having sacrificed enough joy to deal with her. 02-Oct-2020
The experts supplied the duos with the "Know You" quiz I invented five years ago and we got to know them better. Women are going to have to decide if the switch of power is suitable for male/female relationship success. Men are displaying feelings, getting insecurities, are depressed and vagina does not like it. They've become sensitive mothers with no wombs. They wont dare go near one unless she writes "yes, please!" on their chests. Woody transmitted porn vibrations and a hurtful soul. Amani played along with him. They discussed getting a dog with Woods not wanting one and Amani demanding one. Same solution as with the kids. She gets a dog and the kids get smacked every time they don't pick up after it. Scuttle opened up to the ocean and the mermaid and she tail thrashed him. I felt bad for him. It's not her fault either. Everyone deserves to get who they want. The mismatch almost seems like a producer in-joke. Olivia called out Brett's sarcastic look, talk and breath. She "officially" proclaimed he was Jekyll in front of the camera and Hyde behind it. He answered every question like a male escort, drank a shark drink like it was real and ate his taco like it was Olivia. Karen's constant belittling of Miles sexuality makes it seem she needs to check her own. Miles sperm dried up when the expert suggested they take sex off the table. Dude, run! The expert's disdain for cats was a detail I wished I'd miss. After it attacked her, she shooshed it away real polite and ratched. Banger wife re-attached a friend's finger after the Tree accidentally cut it off. I hope she flossed before the operation. Safety first. 24-Sep-2020
Daily routines were observed and only sarcasm relayed the truth. Amani spits toothpaste onto your hair. Woody awakens like a senior and avoids the night like a feeble. Olivia startles awake and Brett arises perfect. Tree Banger coyly called out wifey for a lack of cleanliness but she didn't bite. She's the breadwinner and he is the service. Case closed. The mermaid princess got together with another couple and ate Sebastian's grandchildren. Scuttle (the bird) spent half the time standing and perching. Amani attempted to have Scuttle confide in her but besides babbling about how impatience scares him, there wasn't much for Amani to capture from birdspeak. The princess was not amused that he thought her rude to her subjects. The bird, who never talks, complained about her lack of communication. They rethought things and decided the attention and cha-ching that may follow will be worth the marriage. To my chagrin Scuttle compared himself to a turtle. I blurted, "really?" His face twitches 50 times before a turtle blinks and are the feathers there to hide his shell? Brett attracted gay woodies at a rock climbing event then played "Trivia" at a bar with Olivia and her friends. The questions went over his head, he became surly and uncooperative exclaiming that what they were playing wasn't trivia. Wife was overcome with weakness, stepped out and had a meaningless conversation with her friend about how he doesn't want to be a part of them. I was team Brett all the way. The game was shit and the friends were condescending. Woody and Amani discussed child whipping. She was against it and he was raised with it. Of course, he acquiesced but thought...fuck it, a slap and a threat when she's not around, they won't tell. Executive decision yelled rape with a but. I have no understanding of her type. By proclaiming to be so empowered she has become the weakest bride. If you need to pay someone to show you what closeness is, you're a robot. Let the daddy loose or fuck his brains out. You only live once. 17-Sep-2020
Hollywood dating was in effect. Karen and Miles went food shopping. I would have picked up Popeyes before heading home just to annoy her. Executive Decision (Karen) declared foul once again. She can't deal being matched with a girl. What kind of bulls are in this woman's life? Daddy just wants some bear hugs, teet tweaks, a yank and maybe a pull. As soon as daddy put his sex foot forward, she yelled rape. She's not suitable for human contact. The Bangers went slacklining. I would have pulled out my scissors and cut the line but this couple is about celebrating every stupid little thing. The banana tree broke peer sex pressure and popped the wife which lent him "I can do better" arrogance as he regaled her for being unkempt and undutiful. He also chose space instead of her. That'll teach her not to clean the bathroom. The bird taught aquatic maiden to golf and a human tried teaching them to dance. I wondered if his head whips spontaneously back and forth during oral service. Olivia and Brett went on a Republican alligator expedition. Brett was especially upset when he realized there'd be no alligators attacking the boat or his wife. Stupid and funny reactions were enabled with an addendum stating Brett would be honored to push his wife out of a plane. 09-Sep-2020
The couples prepared for company. Brett called Pastor Cal a dik and went missing for hours. Next day he returned to celebrate his marriage to a nurse practitioner with free access to drugs. Party time. Brett compared his wife to Nurse Jackie and gossiped to his friends that there was a lot of big dick in Mexico. The Bangers played house. Tree Banger rocked some jack-o-lantern cotton as his head made a great wick. The aquatic princess couldn't think of a favorite childhood food even though she's a mermaid and was cooking fish. The Dracula wives made a return to authenticate that their bff was the best victim a woman could ask for - without the sex part. Karen softened to the idea of their being some Perry in Madea. The village partiers "sex bashed" the men that weren't measuring up. The chants in favor of rape were horrific. Do you want him to pull your hair? Yes, that would be nice. Choking. If he knows the safe word, yes. Will you let him say the first word? Absolutely! Can you beg to push things along? Absolutely fucking not, I'm still a woman. Rape. 02-Sep-2020
Lovecraft Country (2020-) 


I wish the production would ignore whites the way they did us because white men as devil diatribe is tired. The horror inhabits everything in history that we celebrated with no punch. I want to celebrate who we are, should be, can be, not something we never were. Wasting a beautiful cast on nonsense. 31-Aug-2020
The Jefferson clap was joyous, ex-President to Jorel was cheek and daddy brick stripped with comic book accuracy. The cast is in it but the words don't feel them. Too much confusion to be fixated on anything. I'm confused because my old head can't grasp it or because the words are slippery. Exactly. Its biggest problem is fixating on not humiliating itself in the portrayal of people that were. The people whose courage we still remember. 23-Aug-2020
Amiably cast, historically vibrant but returning the black man to when he had no power does us no good. (Wos included.) A scare happens when you don't expect it. White cops versus saints versus action heroes. There's only one answer. The three protagonists are full of huff and puff when it's historically known that most people didn't stand up at that time. That's why we're here. It's insulting to the few that famously dared. The big bang threat was unexpectedly absurd and depressing. (Daddy brick needs to get naked.) 17-Aug-2020