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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Cultish'

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Cinderella (2021) ArfUpgrade

A talented cast is assembled to remake a classic remade too many times with bigger bluster. A downfall of blockbusters but not of little films. They can sneak in some truth without being punished. It's a parody that attempts to bring circumstances, thoughts and decisions to the shenanigans. Idina has grade A moments in song and in soul sharing. Billy brought his showmanship. The prince passed the "inferno" test with a flip and a voice. We waited for Minnie Driver to awake and when it happens, it is fitting. 007 hits his marks like a gunslinger. Cabello looks like a waitress from different eras in all of her guises but she can sing, act, charm and have fun. I had fun. It belongs to a future cult. 13-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultish, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hoofer's Delight, Music Swings, Musical, Political Satire, Pretty, Remake, Romance, Silly, Star Watt, TV-like, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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13-Feb-2022


Untamed Youth (1957) Woof

Two pretty young things are arrested for vagrancy and swimming naked on a journey to Hollywood. Judge Judy gives them a choice, work on an agricultural farm or go to prison. Bubbleheads decide to pick cotton. Cotton pickers are rare and farmers are using the prisoners to make a profit. The farm is run by a Red Superman that enforces more than he preaches. He unleashes killer dogs on pregnant teens, serves them dog food, dehydrates them, kills, terminates, rapes, blackmails and threatens. Yet, every night, after picking cotton all day and eating dog food, the all gender prisoners find a way to perform a rock n' roll number. Red Superman is secretly married to Judge Judy. Judge Judy's gorgeous son starts working on the farm and catches the eye of the younger sister. Gorgeous son becomes weary of commandment and investigates. Judge Judy is plastered with red dick. She knows nothing. The musical numbers scream immediate cancellation but the performers look so good pushing it. Mamie Van Doren was a sex gift that calypsoed. She worked her butt off entertaining the boys. Is it historically credible that only white people, hispanics and lesbians committed all of America's crimes? The lesbian was a pisser. Puff prison pulp fun. 20-Jun-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultish, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Musical, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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20-Jun-2021


Seventh Sign, The (1988) Whimper

God was so angry with us in the 80s that he sent seven signs to warn us he was on a path of annihilation and made Demi Moore and her baby carry the burden. If she can fulfill enough of God's contracts she can accomplish the "save the world" prophecies in the bible. Moore's luminescence and chemistry is wasted on shitty creators. A man can protect the world but only a woman can save it. 04-May-2021

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Cultish, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mad, Mystery, SciFi, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Timid, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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04-May-2021


Tenant, The (1976) Arf

An unassuming man moves into an apartment that drove a young woman to suicide. He visits the victim at the hospital (for foreign hospitality reasons and to maybe see her suffer?) and becomes obsessed with realizing her history. The neighbors find every reason to make him feel insignificant...he's too noisy, too weird, too private, too sexual and too mentally unwell. The director posted Rosemary's Baby with a shittier budget and himself in the lead. (We are to presume that some other schmuck directed it). The opportunity for a defamed man's self-reflection is a good opportunity for doctors to psychoanalyze him, wrangle the rest and let the people decide. Are the neighbors driving him nuts or was he already nuts? Why is he dressing like a girl? No, that's the girl that jumped out the window. Yes, he drags out and the film continues to crash into WTF Land as he spills nothing about himself except his obsession with precision ... the soft caresses, the whispers, his crippling distrust of socialization, the corners, the lighting, the orchestration, the genius, the illusion of knowing how a child feels and where the bad place ends. A whore is a child unsaved by him. (He aint smarter than his dick, though.) 23-Apr-2021

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Cultish, Director Experiment, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Horror, Mystery, Preposterous, Suspense, Thriller, Timid, Twisty, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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23-Apr-2021


Onward (2020) Arf

A beautifully crafted animation about unlocking traditional magic. Two brothers accidentally cast a spell that resurrects half of dad. No head or heart just crotch, ass, legs and feet. He profiles like a predator. He taps their shoes to announce to his victims they've been found.

My version: boy triggers a spell that brings complete daddy back. Hey, daddy's cool. Blah blah blah. If they want to keep him they have 24 hours to venture out and make it happen. They bond. They have beautiful memories and grand adventures without having to endure memorizing daddy's crotch and ass for 24 hours. Takeoff! Did cartoon daddy walk off the set in a huff? The filmmakers could not realize a finale for us. It was all hearsay. 08-Apr-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Camp, Cold, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultish, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Mystery, Predictable, Preposterous, Sentimental, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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08-Apr-2021


Babysitter, The (2017) Woof

Puberty boy realizes his carnal urge for queen sex is life-preserving and destructive. Samara Weaving serves Harley Quinn gusto, Robbie Amell is humdinger stripper/killer/rapist, Bella Thorne tears it like a beauty pageant winner, Hana Mae Lee slices and dices and the babies are sweet. The irrational violence is its humor and its perverted violence is its soul. The kills may be cannon but revenge is sweet. 16-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action Fun, Baby Wrecks, Brutal, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultish, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Porn Violence, Revenge, Sentimental, Star Watt, Tough, Twisty, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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16-Sep-2020


Last Ferry (2019) Early Exit

I didn't wait, I swam back. As soon as I heard gay clones spouting the word "thirsty," I was out. 03-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Cold, Cultish, Dialogue Lament, Fatigue, Inactivity, Relationships, Tacky, Tedium, Timid

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03-Sep-2020


We Summon The Darkness (2019) Arf

The word of Jesus inspires a cult to enact punishment to sinners. The dialogue flows, the cast creates perfect doubt but its obsession of not fucking with new privilege brings no satisfaction to what should have been a riveting revenge movie. We are not allowed to enforce punishment on them or tear them to pieces because it's not politically just. Even if it tries to kill you, only a non sufferer of the same power source can claim payback. The all empowered couldn't take it? Fuck that. It was the victim's job to pummel that ****. Fail. 15-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Cultish, Drama, Horror, Mystery, Political Satire, Preposterous, Suspense, Thriller, Vague, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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15-Aug-2020


Wicker Man, The (1973) Woof

Christian copper investigates missing child on pagan island. Edward Woodward keeps it desperate and unleashing, the atmosphere is lawless and unethical and the music lilts as well as unsettle. The horror isn't physically evident but mentally, it sticks like gum to a shoe. 19-May-2020

Tags: 1970s, Chemistry, Classic, Creepy, Crime Drama, Cultish, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Murders, Music Swings, Mystery, Political Satire, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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19-May-2020


Humanoids From The Deep (1980) Arf

Cis sea monsters killing dogs, children and men so they can rape the women. It's pure schlock, WTF and astounding they pulled it off. I was less hesitant to watch because it was helmed by a woman. A woman, Barbara Peeters, would never exploit it. She handles her task, dons a penis cap for the shots and switches to thinking emotion about circumstances. She navigated like a pro. The fight scenes turned out hilarious but the racism, kills and rapes were sharp. All sexes, breeds and races shared the heroism.

(What were people eating then? Their hair looked terrific.) 08-May-2020

Tags: 1980s, Action Stomper, Camp, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Cultish, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gory, Horror, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Political Satire, Rapey, Scary, SciFi, Star Watt, Tacky, Tough, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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08-May-2020


Apostle (2018) Whimper

Infiltrating a religious sect to save a sibling. The premise barely sustains itself and Dan Stevens' idea of macho heroism is to grunt like a gorilla and squawk like a duck. He is so inspired to erase his Downton starter that what he erects is stiff overcompensation. The only thing the film gets right is torture and a weirdly coincidental female tree. 11-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Cultish, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Gory, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Political Satire, Porn Violence, Preposterous, Revenge, Scare Obvious, Star Watt, Weird

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11-Mar-2020


Henry Gamble's Birthday Party (2015) Woof

The chains religion affixes on its followers and the opposition it judges.

Wine is the devil's blood.. desire is for cretins... the sins fade if you invoke his word by chanting it ceaselessly and mechanically, irritating anyone who hears it... skimpy leads to lust which leads to sex and maybe some joy... gay sex is the worst of all, they punish you for that... The film juggles all of it honestly.

Where there is fire there is wood, laying underneath elevating the flames while they smolder to ash. The Leftists awaken enough to overturn an honored twink's christian birthday party.

Everyone gets heard, everyone gets fed up and some actually become what everyone else can't... themselves.
 01-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultish, Cultural, Director's Slice, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Life, Political, Romance, Sentimental, Star Watt, Subtle, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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01-Mar-2020


Hellboy (2019) Arf

Hellish Arthurian legend. It couldn't hit the masses because it keeps its characters and premise grotesque and blood-soaked. David Harbour conveys the title monster but his unappealing design lends him no superhero charisma. Cult status may grant its futility and relentlessness, crap fun. 18-Dec-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Stomper, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Cultish, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Horror, Kool Effects, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Political Satire, Porn Violence, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Tough, Ugly Art

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18-Dec-2019