All Posts Tagged as '2020s'
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Married At First Sight (2014-)
Can that husband just come out already? How many complaints can he file? Scared of pussy much? He might want to check his preference sheet more carefully. Pastor Cal represented audience sentiment but that fucker didn't budge much. The experiment would experience more happy endings if the contestants were provided constant therapy. 18-Jan-2025
Pia closed shop and failed. What part of being grossed out by a pineapple does the expert not understand? Her job was to separate them into safe spaces, not force her to be in an abusive relationship. It's abusive because Michelle can't stand being with him. Her approach was insulting to me and it was horrendous to women. 18-Dec-2024
S18 E9. I hope Pia got paid extra for doing all the work. There were instances where it felt dangerous for her to confront hostility and the sexual accusations from some of the contestants. Ikechi made it very clear that flirtations from females over 13 years old are offensive. Pia handled herself professionally but the space remained unsafe. Karla is overcome by Juan's beauty. He came on the show to pay for the rest of his plugs so his millionaire boyfriend can pull them. Dude, I'm afraid to ask these guys if they sew. It might be unanimous. I know for a fact that David doesn't sew or do much of anything. It's only a matter of time before he becomes a hut made out of jell-o. Michele needs to be released, a marching band following, David watching, everybody saluting as the whole staff gives him the middle finger. Allen gives me Dustin Hoffman/Liev Schreiber anxiety. Madison always looks like she'd rather be an avenue. I would dig Thomas harder if he didn't snarl so much. It's not a regular snarl either. He really looks angry and rapey. 18-Apr-2024
A Real Pain (2024)
The film is not very clear about what it's trying to say. The cultural references were veiled and over emoted. I felt I was on a road trip with the cousins. I hate road trips! The actors almost make it worth it. The gestures are sweet but there is nothing more than the obvious. Cousins travel to Poland to tour where deceased grandmother was born, hoping it will ignite memories and togetherness. Culkin's character is the most coherent and baffling. He zig zags through personalities that don't necessarily mesh. The first class argument didn't correspond with its action. It felt like a 40's sentiment. There are more important things to worry about that the director did not explore. Jesse plays it like Joan to Kieran's Baby Jane. Deeper conversations would have compensated for the incomprehension. 17-Jan-2025
A Quiet Place: Day One: (2024)
A movie where silence is golden only resonates with "good face" actors. Lupita is characterized as an unpleasant doom manipulator. The cat that doesn't meow really pissed me off. By making the cat mute they missed out on fresh ideas and unforgettable scenes. Hounsou was relegated to extra. The action repeats but it doesn't refresh. More monster exposition would have added coherence and sustainability. What is their backstory? What happened to the crying babies? Deaf people who can talk? The rules of the game were acknowledged rather swiftly and the setups were obvious and corny. Pizza, really? 08-Jan-2025
Squid Game (2021)
S2 is missing something. Impact. A feeling of exhaustion permeated and interrupted some of the proceedings. The games didn't rivet, the cast was stereotypically goofy, compassion was limited and sense started to drag. The ship shenanigans didn't have closure or purpose. I presume the save will be last minute in S3. Thinking you can overtake a heavily guarded facility is ludicrous. In life I doubt that a majority of people would choose to die. I wanted to see people go home. Why doesn't anyone hook up? A grab and a rub here and there wouldn't hurt. How do the men deal with morning wood? I'm losing empathy. 04-Jan-2025
If you can't afford happy things, you become bitter, if your are unable to provide, you become addicted and if you can't eat, you die. It's called poverty. A group of instinctual individuals are given the opportunity to have their financial struggles resolved. They have to play children's games that are only safe in rhythm but not rhyme. If you lose, you die. If you win, it's a lot. The characters are specific, writing is a brainstorm and the whole is an abundance of I've never seen anything like this before. 07-Oct-2021
S1E7. The VIPs were from Palm Springs. 05-Oct-2021
S1E4. I am petrified and addicted. 01-Oct-2021
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice (2024)
It was good. 26-Dec-2024
La Palma (2024)
I was invested until the end. The characters had depth and appeal but made little sense. In what world do children overreact because their parents are arguing? Teens don't give a fuck. I didn't understand the rift between mom and dad. He promised to acquiesce to her regiment but chose happiness instead. She dreams of a proper dick that can soothe her needs and hubby acknowledges that by drinking 3 vase beers every night. What's wrong with that? Autism should never be utilized as a gimmick. No regular person would ever figure out those coordinates. They would die. Fake comebacks are exhausting and disrespectful to artists who actually wring emotions out of concept. A disaster movie without climate deaths is like Godzilla with no breath. The parting of the ocean was only seconds. You can't be edgy or effective if the description is it's like Swiss Family Robinson without a budget...or deaths...except that guy in the back. 24-Dec-2024
Red One (2024)
It was a jolly merry Christmas movie. Daddy Johnson downplayed it and wrung emotion and hilarity out of it. Chris Evans rejected heroic valor and was cute again. JK Simmons can eat my cookies, anytime. Lucy Liu had a purpose. Krampus was impressive. Kiernan was having fun. Every hole in the story gets punched up by mini-Dwayne kickassing, his jacket, his teeth, reindeer muscle, snowmen beaching, toys, gadgets, lights, magic, witches, twinks, candies, memories, regrets and fun. Sounds like Christmas to me. 20-Dec-2024
Carry-On (2024)
Taron's face was made for panic and his feet were meant for trampling. Every time Bateman got evil I thought of Rhoda, betrayals and contracts. I may not be able to wrap my arms around the Norris anymore but I can still lick his teeth. I didn't know if to pluck Rossi's vagina mustache or smash it. Nobody questioned why Taron was talking to himself for fifteen minutes. What kind of TSA agents are these? The thriller downplays itself and it's a blessing. 16-Dec-2024
Ultimatum, The (2024)
I get anxious whenever I hear Sandy's voice. She sounds like a spoiled housewife with a lozenge stuck in her throat and her reasoning for everything is ludicrous. I was disappointed that the Lacheys did not comfort Nick for having strong feelings about Sandy's infidelity. She claims that her and JR only kissed twice but cameras beg to differ. There were make-out sessions with extra cuddles under the sheets with no wet willies or stiff underwoods guaranteed and the bedbugs elicited the moans the cameramen thought they heard. Madame Web has spun her web and entrapped two gullible and dependent men in it. She is no victim. She likes them because they are not superheroes but think they are. I'm surprised the Lacheys didn't suggest JR whip out his dick for Nick (not Lachey) to suck. They humiliated that man mercilessly. Sandy brings out the toxic in me. TG it's almost over. Everything JR says is nonsense. Big men don't pretend they're on Fantasy Island on Max, don't want to get married but can't shut up about wanting it and oozes hostility when the jig is up. Is Zaina buying JR's love or paying for her exit? I still dig Caleb. He's the only one who tried to stand up to reason. His mystery deepens. He exists in his own little planet of misfit toys crashing onto earth. He acts like an over-chilled teen that mommy Mariah is afraid to disappoint because he will rebel and she'll have to have sex post relationship. When the original couples reunited it turned into a "how was school today, honey?" type scenario. After cashing in all the vouchers the producers promised them, every person was enlightened, the fairy tale is real, men never get woodies while cuddling, that bitch was not crying over her dog or JR, women are consumed by victimhood, asshole parents make asshole children who want to make more asshole children, the producers made them say that because 4 people thought the show was shit and this has been a turned-off season. 13-Dec-2024
Zaina and J.R. came to play. Neither has regard for the other or anybody else. Sandy came to annoy her lover and fuck hot shit. J.R. disrespected every man when he barred his fake wife from consoling her desperate husband after finding out their intimacy went too far. Morality clauses state that all couples must break up before embarking in new matrimony. Nick came to lose it, get free psychotherapy and nerve pills. Caleb's mellow puts me in a trance and it's why I presume Mariah is well-spoken but blank. He turns them into robots. He's sexy until he starts re-programming you. He turned Aria into a Stepford. 4 people woke up and realized the madness of The Lacheys and abruptly departed like in the island of Dr. Moreau. Exactly how many other people did the Lacheys fuck to realize they belong together? After the contestants departed the show became insecure and gave us more of what we didn't want. J. R. and Sandy's horny gas lighting. I want to fuck them both and hand them over to Pazuzu for some lady cement and calf extensions. You bet I'd watch the porn tape, but make no mistakes these aren't marrying candidates. They want to get married so they can pretend to be happy whilst performing diabolical sexual acts on others. J.R. and Sandy deserve most unfeeling humans honors. Nick should have been given an ultimatum, to cruise establishments that cater to singles and find another match or the experiment is over for the whore. "J.R., please remove your dick from my future wife's face." 08-Dec-2024
Subservience (2024)
It adds enough to the genre to make it interesting but it doesn't supply enough tech or empathetic reasoning to make it a classic. Ms. Fox is a royal maximizer of presence and a soulless entity suits her well. Michelle Morone made me want to go to the bathroom and jerk off to straight italian porn. Madeline Zima played a thankless role that depended solely on her likability and that's better than nothing. The movie satisfied but didn't satiate. More tech or more sex would have knocked it towards art park. No budget for more tech means they would have to physically create it. So, create it. Hubby would have become addicted to robot sex because that's what men do. "I only fucked her a few hundred times, sweetie. I was practicing for when you got your heart back. I didn't want to disappoint you." 09-Dec-2024
Our Little Secret (2024)
Lindsay Lohan made me realize why charismatic actors lose their mojo. Are they uncomfortable and think that everyone is going to judge every word they say? Yes. I want her to flare up again. She's almost there. She needs a challenge. My favorite fairy legend wastes her magic on shitty lines. If the writers have nothing valid for her to say, let her sing. Ian Hardy was a trip. I couldn't place him. He was that cutie asshole that always irked me, for sure. Of course, he was the perverted teacher that dated his underage students on PLL. Every time he smirked he resurrected a part of Norman Bates. The idea that a woman would want to keep that she dated a Darren Stephens the Second type a secret was astonishing. Just because it's fluff doesn't mean we shouldn't try to say something. 02-Dec-2024
Afraid (2024)
The A.I. was too sparkly and bubbly. Action was stagnant. I had to look up the actors names to remember who was in it, even though I just watched it. The tension it built should have burst the story into the air but it got stenched with TV type trite that makes a farting sound. 30-Nov-2024
Abigail (2024)
The child did extraordinary things, quoted words not associated with children and plagiarized previous strokes. The last minute saves were so expected that emotional attachment got lost. Melissa Barrera gave Faith from Buffy vibes. Dan Stevens was blank. The first surprise is like everything before it. Once the cat is out of the bag the movie falls into WB TV status. Yes, it was a surprise but a sucky one. 28-Nov-2024
Merry Men, The (2024)
There's more than stupidity going on here. The cast is amiable and hardworking. Britt is a misdiagnosed charmer. Prattes legs were mesmerizing, it's fun to see old witches again, Maxwell Caulfield's moment was a go daddy thing, Chad Michael Murray had the body, the robotics, enthusiasm and Farrah's hair. They derailed the "hate at first love" train and depicted how people really get together. I didn't stay for the pancakes but I waited for the bacon. Merry whatever the fucks! 25-Nov-2024
Alien: Romulus (2024)
From the first creak to the last scream, the interpretation of a classic is uncanny. Fede lip synchs Alien/Aliens achievements and aces it. He is not a copyist, though, he does everything the first two did differently but with the same dreadful spirit. The suspense was familiar and foreboding, the face huggers were scary as fuck, Andy is my favorite synthetic and the heroine was non-assuming. 22-Nov-2024