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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Director Insanity'
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Mel Brooks' enunciation play is brilliant art. The cast shred with equal parts hilarity and 100% talent. It carouses like a very funny sequel. 10-Mar-2021
Cis men will get a hard-on during. 75%. Gay men will get a hard-on going. 55%. Women only see what they want to see. 100%. Romance knows no bounds. Hangover. 13-Feb-2021
Dean Jones may have looked tired but he was worth rescuing. Sandy Duncan hinted at intelligent comedic capabilities. A cute kid, a Disney radiated duck and a scrupulous cast kept the ridiculous from permeating. The duck shat gold. Sweet, funny and imaginary nonsense. Grandma will love it! 08-Feb-2021
Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith (2005) 
General Grievous is a product of Lucas' craft. The Tech Master hardly disappointed. The fail was foretelling everything before it happened depriving us of emotional surprise and leaning heavily on sap. I thought Hayden was done vomiting. Dude, he had diarrhea and it stank up the whole universe. I replaced him with a young Jack Nicholson. (Jack was dark, charming and a hoot. That laugh.) Unfortunately the saga is reliant on Anakin Skywalker making a satisfying transition to Darth Vader. He does not. I would have put a helmet on that kid halfway through the 2nd film just to avoid the misery. He even infected Natalie Portman. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't give three fucks. Ewan McGregor sported adorable hair, eloquence and force chill. Yoda kicked more ass. Christensen yucked it up! The diarrhea was epidemic. 06-Feb-2021
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999) 
I went retro and revisited some films that weren't to my liking. If it weren't for Lucas magic this film would be one of the worst. The child. Poor thing. No training, no soul. I would have skipped to the Superboy years one second after the awesome pod race. Liam Neeson didn't seem taken by the force. The words meant nothing to him. It was a job. MacGregor's head moved stiffly and he looked like he cracked up before and after many line readings. Jar Jar Binks was created by party people with no exceeding limits. I watched him drunk and still found him annoying. Natalie Portman must have looked blankly at countless fake CGI things because she applied it to humans as well. The voice she inflected was cockamamie and infectious. Yoda isn't as cute as The Child. At all. Blathering old idiot. Robes don't flow in saber fights and future love relations are not impactful if one babysat the other. The director worked beyond the force. The fans publicly cheered while quietly sighing. Darth Maul was a pocket. It makes a good game but not a good film. 02-Feb-2021
A scientist thinks he's developed a nerve gas that immobilizes instead of kill. With the support of his love establishment and business connections, he is granted money and freedom to keep his experimentation thriving. But weary scientists have accidents. The gas fumes turn him into an Unfantastical Thing. The coincidences are comical, the scares don't stir a tree but Paula Raymond is a fantabulous scream. 01-Jan-2021
It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020
The adventures of future supremacists as they waft through their own battlefield of family traditions and alpha bullying. The parents are ditzoids driving their children to partake of a Christmas tradition called Elving. You leave presents on the doorsteps of needy/hopeless families everyday until Christmas. The town bullies are on the roster this year. The tween female interest cements hardons and impels macho competitions. She looks 20 while the boys look 8. Reality rarely sneaks in and there is no character to get attached to. I pictured future supremacist twink getting married in prison to his alpha bully supreme as he forever pays black fit homeless grand daddies with raspy voices for some sugar. The kindly school bus driver was black. 25-Dec-2020
Rabid family holiday. Foster's mind is a jumble. Flamboyantly directed, fussed over and disrespected. Robert Downey Jr.'s gay brother flitted about like a crazed woodpecker perching and flapping uncontrollably to our discomfort and limited endurance. Giving a cute girl the sniffles for the entirety of a film is not romantic or sexy. It's a family home visit without the drinks. Where's the fun in that? 05-Dec-2020
It mindfucks from the beginning. It's told out of sequence and it has something to do with a gay rock that grants the grabber wishes. Unfortunately, the wishes make you see the ridiculousness in them as they come to fruition. The effects are genuinely gross and creative, the kids exceed expectations, the film is hilarious and that guy from Two and Half Men is in it and he doesn't grate. I had so much fun. 04-Dec-2020
Christmas Chronicles 2, The (2020)
An array of adorable elves get kidnapped by Mr. & Mrs. Claus to run toy factories, serve their masters and provide Christmas preciousness to their surroundings. When an elf breaks a rule it gets turned into a fat depressed British runt. Why? Santa stomps and hair flips like a daddy stealth bomber, mama Santa has Goldie specs and the children are as interesting as the beach they never go to. Everything is boisterous and pimped out. When the elves turn into Gremlins the cuteness subsides, the gas gets turned up high and Christmas burns down. 30-Nov-2020
Tik Tokkers go hunting and prey upon a super K dad all alone and stoned at home. The wife and their boys went to another location to await him as he finished a job so they can have a family celebration. The girls are mad-driven, sex hungry hot dogs whose destruction you wouldn't lose sleep over. Art makes them mad. They shred it and draw fat penises on it. They perform outrageous skits to make babies and horny daddies pay attention. They have no talent. They hate men. The reason the entire bottom half of the planet yells out daddy during sex is because it's the most familiar. Daddy K is at his squishiest and he rips good emotions from his gut. He applied his action stamina to sex and it was sexy. The torture is guaranteed and Keanu's reactions were spot-on. Eli Roth has mad ideas and his perception is inching closer to clarification. I would but I would get in trouble. 07-Nov-2020
Dora And The Lost City Of Gold (2019)
Latin spunk, sense of adventure, poop songs, fart swamps, cousin flirtations, CGI friends and city ineptitude. It's Dora The Explorer. The parents (Pena/Longoria) are cute but their exploration days seem limited to couch surfing for leftover Tostitos to finish off their guacamole dip. Nancy Pelosi makes the most of her cameo by surprising as a jungle witch. (I kid.) It qualifies as a most craptacular stupid thing that makes a sad heart laugh. 25-Oct-2020
Morticia was lacking the sultriness Gomez used to devour. Gomez was lacking the passion he exhibited at the most ludicrous and divine things. Wednesday could have used a little less rich girl in her voice and a lot more bitch. Uncle Fester was destroyed. Bette Midler was the only one of the group to have seen more than one episode of the tv series and gave Grandmama her unique flair. The family is constantly trying to kill or destroy each other, ad nauseam. Somebody missed the point of The Addams Family and what they constituted. They were us fighting for our place in the world from the imagination of a mad man. The writers need to apologize to the artists for making them create the angriest animated film ever. Dude, that's coming from me. 01-Oct-2020
Jim Carrey is the stupid king. There are moments when you just want him to stop and take a breather and he does but it starts up again and you give in because it's a freedom a lot of us lack. To be stupid. The plot is really a set-up for Jim, the score reminded me of crappy summers, the kid was too cute, daddy positions were frivolous but the meister was at his cutest and most stupidest. Funny! 12-Aug-2020
