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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Director Insanity'

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X (2022) Whimper

The idea of renting a house from senior landlords living on the property, in the 70s, to shoot a secret porn film plays ludicrously. It opens stinking of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and ends up vomit. This is an auteur's movie. The porn they were creating was supposed to be art. It was another porn stinker. 2 hours of three girls and a cock. The film would've played better as background for orgies. Seniors were represented as Tales From The Crypt old. Ick. Fear of getting old and losing control of sex and the joys that come with it. It stopped smelling like Chainsaw as soon as it tasted like Jaws and went down like Friday the 13th Part Three in 3D. 25-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Camp, Creepy, Director Insanity, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Silly, Tacky, Trashy, Violent, Weird

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25-Nov-2022


Don't Worry, Darling (2022) Whimper

Olivia Wilde has a frazzled mind. She mixes a Long Island iced tea that goes down smoothly but fast. You get drunk, start getting dizzy, the room is spinning when one shot of a tight Stepford update would have sufficed. Too many ingredients that make you throw up because they clash. All the actors were directed to up it. It works for Harry Styles because he's stiff. Chris Pine was already notched up when the director asked for more. Not. Florence Pugh astounded me. Her acting was like a light switch at a storage locker facility. On and off, unexpectedly. The story was aching for calm but we kept getting those "Ring" type edits that destine you to early death. A beautiful sight by a practicing director that needs a chill pill. 08-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Director Insanity, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Over the Top, SciFi, Thriller, Weird, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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08-Nov-2022


Satan's Children (1975) Bites

It's so low budget that it couldn't even afford to be one of Bobby Brady's (Brady Bunch) teenage dreams. A smooth twink rebels against his argumentative father and insistently horny sister. He travels into Wonderland with pot in his pocket and a party hang out mentality with anyone except queers. He gets gang raped by a bunch of straight men who cripple him and not. There is a rape scene but it's more hilarious than it is shocking. I couldn't tell if they were shoving things up his ass or fucking him. They dump him somewhere Satan worshippers live. Chief Stew becomes enamored. He is rescued. The deck is revolting against second in command. The captain is away. They do not rescue strangers unless master commands it. Bobby becomes immobilized because his ass hurt. Really, immobilized? He found time for flat on your back sex, though. The captain returns unexpectedly and all hell breaks loose. It doesn't develop triumph or backbone until the very end. It's laughable, langorous and unforgettable. 31-Oct-2022

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Drama, Funny, Good Idea, Horror, Hot Swatch, Preposterous, Rapey, Sad Effects, Silly, Timid, Trashy, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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31-Oct-2022


Martyrs (2008) Bites

The only way women can see the light is if they get punished for being women. The opener cues you in, the orphanage grants the characters humanity, the grown up versions are psychotic, the violence is pukey and the horror is inane. The more intimate the story, the bigger the chills. Here, the bigger the story, the more impossible it sounds. I do not get off on seeing women beat and suffering endlessly esp. for stupid reasons, but I realized that lesbians might. The film avoids sex as a respect to all women. Dude, I'd rather go back in time and get raped again than suffer through this. 17-Oct-2022

Tags: 2000s, Creepy, Depressing, Director Insanity, Drama, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, Foreign, Gay Swatch, Gory, Grating, Horror, Manipulation, Over the Top, Preposterous, Psychological, Revenge, Suspense, Tough, Trashy, Violent

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17-Oct-2022


Mandy (2018) Woof

An artful relentless mess in which Lord Nicholas takes on religion and splits his asshole kicking its butt. 12-Oct-2022

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Brutal, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Director Movement, Director's Achievement, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Music Swings, Political Satire, Porn Violence, Psychological, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Scary, Star Watt, Tough, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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12-Oct-2022


House of Gucci (2021) Arf

The film epitomizes what Hollywood has become. Every hand must be held and head patted, no matter their importance. New and shit are not synonymous with good. Someone put something in their drinks because they were wheezing in and out of accents and it was 100% contagious. It was a Gucci movie made by Soviets. None of the Italian performers generated a complaint that their families didn't sound like that? Gaga clutches her star watt with brilliance, outrageousness and hysterics. Ridley Scott found his niche, upgrading a Wayans production to mastery. 13-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Bio, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultural, Director Insanity, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Hilarious, Magnetism, Over the Top, Relationships, Revenge, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Trashy, Vague, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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13-May-2022


Lost Daughter, The (2021) Bites

A Karen gets flashbacks of her maternal discord and cheating ways when she spots a young Karen with the same problems while vacationing. The whole shebang is weird and nonsensical. Maggie Gyllenhaal's direction made me dislike Olivia Colman's acting method. I love Olivia Colman. Don't show me Olivia Colman's acting method, show me her acting. Director did not appreciate the beautiful creature Lady Colman is. 03-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Preposterous, Relationships, Slow, Star Watt, Tedium, Weird, Writer Weakness

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03-Jan-2022


Possessed (1947) Arf

Can a failed secret affair cause a woman temporary insanity? Sure. The film piles plenty of symptoms and Joan Crawford obsesses about inhabiting all of them. She's haunted, Scream Queen, scared, frightful, conniving, confused, grating, bitchy, mother farcical and "don't fuck with me" Joan. She splits every arc into a different character. It was brilliantly insane but it didn't work. The man that made her brain ache played the piano, was a wordmeister, could fuck and always looked tired. He dumps her on the eve of her first hallucination whilst continuing to remain in each other's lives. He's just as crazy as she is except he's not getting diagnosed because he is not a "woman." After being told countless of times that he would never love her, she marries an old rich bastard to get his goat, he "up yours" her by proposing to her stepdaughter and Ms. Joan has a ball going nuts. Unbelievable psychology and too much genre (drama, horror, mystery, crime, comedy, romance, musical, etc.) deflate it.

(People that are crazy don't know they're crazy.) 14-Apr-2021

Tags: 1940s, Camp, Cold, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Director Insanity, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Gay Swatch, Grating, Mystery, Over the Top, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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14-Apr-2021


Young Frankenstein (1974) Woof

Mel Brooks' enunciation play is brilliant art. The cast shred with equal parts hilarity and 100% talent. It carouses like a very funny sequel. 10-Mar-2021

Tags: 1970s, Adorable, Best In Comedy, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Director Insanity, Director's Achievement, Director's Art, Funny, Great Acting, Hilarious, Inspired, Magnetism, Music Swings, Physical Humor, Romance, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

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10-Mar-2021


Where The Boys Are (1984) Whimper

Cis men will get a hard-on during. 75%. Gay men will get a hard-on going. 55%. Women only see what they want to see. 100%. Romance knows no bounds. Hangover. 13-Feb-2021

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Horny, Hot Swatch, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Romance, Sexist, Sexy, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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13-Feb-2021


Million Dollar Duck (1971) Woof

Dean Jones may have looked tired but he was worth rescuing. Sandy Duncan hinted at intelligent comedic capabilities. A cute kid, a Disney radiated duck and a scrupulous cast kept the ridiculous from permeating. The duck shat gold. Sweet, funny and imaginary nonsense. Grandma will love it! 08-Feb-2021

Tags: 1970s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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08-Feb-2021


Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith (2005) Arf

General Grievous is a product of Lucas' craft. The Tech Master hardly disappointed. The fail was foretelling everything before it happened depriving us of emotional surprise and leaning heavily on sap. I thought Hayden was done vomiting. Dude, he had diarrhea and it stank up the whole universe. I replaced him with a young Jack Nicholson. (Jack was dark, charming and a hoot. That laugh.) Unfortunately the saga is reliant on Anakin Skywalker making a satisfying transition to Darth Vader. He does not. I would have put a helmet on that kid halfway through the 2nd film just to avoid the misery. He even infected Natalie Portman. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't give three fucks. Ewan McGregor sported adorable hair, eloquence and force chill. Yoda kicked more ass. Christensen yucked it up! The diarrhea was epidemic. 06-Feb-2021

Tags: 2000s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Bad Acting, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Director Movement, Director's Art, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Relationships, Sap, Slow, Writ w/Possibilities

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06-Feb-2021


Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999) Whimper

I went retro and revisited some films that weren't to my liking. If it weren't for Lucas magic this film would be one of the worst. The child. Poor thing. No training, no soul. I would have skipped to the Superboy years one second after the awesome pod race. Liam Neeson didn't seem taken by the force. The words meant nothing to him. It was a job. MacGregor's head moved stiffly and he looked like he cracked up before and after many line readings. Jar Jar Binks was created by party people with no exceeding limits. I watched him drunk and still found him annoying. Natalie Portman must have looked blankly at countless fake CGI things because she applied it to humans as well. The voice she inflected was cockamamie and infectious. Yoda isn't as cute as The Child. At all. Blathering old idiot. Robes don't flow in saber fights and future love relations are not impactful if one babysat the other. The director worked beyond the force. The fans publicly cheered while quietly sighing. Darth Maul was a pocket. It makes a good game but not a good film. 02-Feb-2021

Tags: 1990s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Director Insanity, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Grating, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Over the Top, Sap, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tedium, Timid, Weird

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02-Feb-2021


Hand Of Death (1962) Bites

A scientist thinks he's developed a nerve gas that immobilizes instead of kill. With the support of his love establishment and business connections, he is granted money and freedom to keep his experimentation thriving. But weary scientists have accidents. The gas fumes turn him into an Unfantastical Thing. The coincidences are comical, the scares don't stir a tree but Paula Raymond is a fantabulous scream. 01-Jan-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Fantasy, Funny, Horror, Preposterous, SciFi, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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01-Jan-2021


We Can Be Heroes (2020) Bites

It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, Baby Wrecks, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Grating, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Revenge, Sad Effects, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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29-Dec-2020




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