All Posts Tagged as 'Stupid Funny'
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Bachelor In Paradise (2014 - )

What have I done? The producers made daddy Palmer look like one of the weird kids from The Polar Express. His eyes didn't move, they dialed down the light, the sparkle and he started looking through people, not at them. My apologies, sir. 12-Nov-2023
Oh no! I think the show is on realtime. The new girl said Brayden looked like Johnny Depp, nobody threw anything in the ocean and worst of all, they restricted daddy Palmer's cornea movements! No more eye fucking. They cut away just as soon as tears started to stream down his face. 04-Nov-2023
Mr. Palmer is a faithful husband. He only eyefucks men. It was fun to see Wells eat his burrito, though. Somebody looked like they were going to join a supremacist group after getting dumped. Brayden is a pirate that has all the women aflutter. Can all the girls fuck him and dump him so I can stop obsessing about him? Were asses covered up because they pooped themselves or because we might get excited? Yo, you can't be the fairer sex if you believe everything a man says. Kat's birthday cake looked nasty. Why are these people allowed to throw anything into the ocean? Doesn't she know that Flipper can get diabetes? 28-Oct-2023
Woohoo! The Palmer eye-fucked the newbie in an episode where not much happened. If you're demanding honesty from a man, don't do it like Kat. She hates the truth. 23-Oct-2023
Brayden's beauty suffers intense consequences because he can't deliver. Sean looks like a dream prince that Dreamworks dreamed up. There is no rational reason why Will should act sensitive when being dumped. Aaron needs to butt fuck his girl so she can stay regular and alive. She is a walking testament of why travel sucks. Wells is a cute package that the contestants keep unwrapping. He was icked by the baby incident and masterclassed he wasn't. He gleamed for Dreamworks but was bored with pretty head yet bounced back for latino flair. The theme is past promises made to people they weren't attracted to and the people who can't accept it. Jesse Palmer hasn't eye-fucked anyone and that's worrisome. They're so good. Men only! The thighs are wide, the legs are nice, the men have bite, are succulent and falling apart for trying to make someone else happy. Is this how toxic masculinity is created? 18-Oct-2023
Chucky (2021-) 

Jake Wheeler is becoming quite a twink daddy. Devon Evans is aging in reverse. He looks like a kid. Lexy is gutsy without a personal life to lift her up. Jennifer T. and Jennifer C. need to battle for best bitch titles. The writers toned down Jennifer's character and shenanigans and she beams because of it. Devon Sawa has the best character, up to-date. I kept seeing Sawa's name on the credits but couldn't match him to his character, until now. Wow. You mean he was the hot method actor who plays the President? He is as precise in his acting as the puppeteers were on Chucky. The lip sync is perfect, different movements are being explored and the bastard is as funny and wicked as ever. The focus of this season is The White House and aging. Love it! 03-Dec-2021
Love Is Blind (2020)

Dude, the thigh lord has Sith powers. I haven't stopped eating the insides of my mouth since I last saw him. 19-Oct-2023
Reunion. It was lonely and hollow. Izzy's thigh was not in full display but the women's legs and boobies were. Uche stalks Milton, now. Lydia is laughing and planning something hysterical. Aaliyah came to put Lydia on the spot for lying and showing off. Milton's family wardens like Lydia, now. They figured getting her to be them so she can change him is easier than showing emotions. Credit Report Princess makes no sense. She's blaming a thigh lord for wanting the same things she wants. His lost and found are memories of trying on girly things so he can relate. JP needs to visit Amish country. Taylor looked fabulous but her make-up was doubled. One layer would have made her shine. She chose to sparkle. The only reason to watch was Izzy. The fake smile and congratulations had a slow-mo effect at the reunion. As soon as he did anything inside his mouth the camera turned away. He rocked some cool sock, though. 16-Oct-2023
The latin mothers were in sync masterclassing a mother that doesn't exist. Izzy ate the insides of his mouth one more time and I wanted to be Ant-Man swirling in it. Didn't it seem like the credit report princess' parents were trying to unload her? Is Lydia still stalking Uche? 14-Oct-2023
S5E8-E9. Uche was invited to the party to make Lydia squirm. Lydia turned red and became a giant animated monster. She emoted so distinctly it almost felt real. I liked it better when it was blamed on hysteria rather than on emotion. Emotions are supposed to be good. Why did Milton's parents look so guilty? Did they look her up? Did Uche call the family to tell them how wonderful she is and fucked up? Is he texting Milton every half hour? Milton kept excusing his parents' lack of hospitality on organics. They weren't like Lydia's. They spit hate in your face and can't teach their offspring how to open wine bottles. Lydia's restraint and self food service was worth bowing to. Mother and daughter-in-law swept her from her pasta and dragged her to the interrogation room where they showed off their warden skills. Lydia studied rocks most of her life but couldn't comprehend the word minute. Minute, when something is way smaller than the rest, like sand is to rock. The thigh jedi and his assignment enacted what bi-polar looks like. Izzy was drunk, frisky and adorable. She started a kitchen argument because he wanted to make love and she needed more attention. Guess who won? He lost control. His legs shook constantly, even when on a great date. Oh. That's how he keeps his thighs in shape. She made him cry like a puppy. We witnessed the aftermath of his secret. He started eating the insides of his mouth, again. I'm sure he ate more than the cameras cared to show. He can't afford to buy her a handbag! He needs to update his profile, "looking for suga mamas and papas that like perfect thigh." 06-Oct-2023
S5. There is a thigh jedi in the house. He's too good to be true. He keeps forcing smiles, though. Is someone buzzing him? His to be is a spoiled princess that wants old fashioned notions and female empowerment in a man. There is something he's not telling that is screaming to come out. The father-in-law expressed a gangster welcome with a threat. Whenever the princess emotes he eats the inside of his mouth. When they were in the kitchen arguing about how poor he's going to become, I thought he was going to eat right through and damage his beautiful face with a hole. In bed one night, he almost eyerolled his assignment/princess but caught himself in time. When a man says he wants a woman to wear no makeup. He wants her to be a little girl. That's the reason women wear makeup, to distinguish themselves from their daughters, so daddy doesn't take a special interest in them. It's like fucking another woman. Uche is making it known that Lydia is a stalker with a big mouth, doesn't allow much breathing room and has a suspicious mama. I think Uche proved himself stupid by stalking three people throughout the show. 17-Apr-2023
Babysitter, The (1969)

The wife, the babysitter, the lesbian daughter and her friends are fucking up daddy's high profile murder case. (Father is the assistant district attorney.) The parents are nearing retirement, they have a habit of filling 24 hour schedules so they don't have to look deeply at each other. His wife won't give him any because she has a 6 month old baby. It appears she didn't want another one. She hires a babysitter every night. The babysitter is a groovy chick that understands the dynamics of life. She also understood what men wanted from her. Daddy was a man whose lack of family appreciation drives him to free himself, return to earth and gain some respect. 07-Jul-2023
Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-)

Gary spent the night munching on blood and he did not appreciate it. WTF, he might become a bat or something. Serves the old man right. Food for thought: old ladies don't get periods. Colin and Daisy are still pretending. TG Gary is outlandish and goes with the flow. The charter turned the crew gay for money. The cameraman captured two shots of Chase's impressive hard penis squeezing into briefs and someone commented on the captain's green platano. Why was there no shot of Gary waking up with red paint all over his face? 27-Jun-2023
Daisy spars with men before she shags them. It's the only way to dock in her marina. A childhood thing, I presume? Did the surprise couple rub against Gary before the makeout session? Gary is becoming an old man manual. He wants to settle down before his cock dies. Little girls want to fuck. Everything. He wants to sabotage all young things. Not fast enough! Captain doesn't understand how laptops supposedly lay on laps. He laid it between his legs making it appear like a fancy menu at an expensive restaurant. He places it where he can admire it, record it, measure it or expose it. Chase's looniness never ends. He's auditioning for Gilligan's Island or oops.... I don't think he got a total examination. Poor thing. If Alex could talk he'd have a lot to say. The chef disappears into the background to keep her sanity but I always forget her until she talks. Chase jokingly asked a stew to expose how lovely her boobies were. WW3. Crew tongues can be salacious to charter, not each other. We were born to serve, choose and aggregate not mingle. 31-May-2023
Episode before last, the cameras lingered on a boy whose actions seemed questionable after his father's friend's accident. It was a creepy boy's 70s horror movie edit. The stews were impressed by the boy's manner, the camera was not. It surely wasn't inherited from daddy muscle charter. He was labeled a high school asshole as soon as he took his shirt off to expose massle magnificence. He may have been high strung but he did nothing wrong except demand what he paid for. Daisy is tired of slaving for rich people. Captain laid his balls on the table and reiterated that that was her job. Gary must have gotten some questionable treatment in quarantine because he kept competing for baby vagina with his cocky crew. The girl that burned the guest's dress: it was from Walmart. Chase's looney behavior is turning me on. He knows how to have fun by himself. In business, it always boils down to men vs. women, with the women always getting fucked. 19-May-2023
Gary's back. The girls stood in line waiting to make that move that catapulted Gary's fame and kept all the straight men hating. His lateness insinuated to his crew that someone should temporarily take over. Warning. Uptight decker on the loose and TG Gary pisses easy. That dumb hot piece of shit is undermining him. Everyone wants or has licked Daisy's face. I hope it's not because she fucked Gary. Big Jesus probably fucked her and the wet boatman got old and jealous. The captain is easy peasy as usual. I hope the decker bunking with the captain realizes that the captain is not a table. One more time and captain can retaliate. He could sleep on top of him. I could've sworn that Colin swayed his hips like Marilyn and I filed it. The men are pretty and gunning for Gary's attention, the girls are stupefied and frightened that their scary boss is really scary but always hoping that Gary notices them. Gary brought action back. 06-May-2023
There's Something Wrong With The Children (2023)

Mixed raced couples spend a weekend away with each other and their latino kids. Things go awry when they hit a cave on their hike with a luminous hole that only attracts the attention of children, even though it later states that adults can go in it too. The only thing that changes after the incident is that the kids stop being snarky and in charge. They turn robotic, obedient and deadly, sort of. The friends start accusing each of things real and induced by vagina magic. The men react off-key and don't have much of a bond. The women have a hypocritical relationship. Telling the truth only applies if they're drunk, tested or just can't stand each other. The mother blaming her friend for the death of her child rang. The children don't scare and revenge is unfulfilled. I thought putting a little sombrero and poncho on the siblings would not have necessarily scared us but it would've created iconic characters, like Freddy. The scariest things arise from stereotypes, not hate. 23-Jun-2023
Black Mirror (2023-)

S6E1. Joan Is Awful is fun until buffoonery steps in. I refused to change my brain frequency to understand it. S6E2. Diversity appeared out of sorts in a Scottish mystery that was dull, basic and predictable. I couldn't wait for it to end. E3. Beyond the Sea. I didn't have to pretend my mathematical rationality was misfiring. Perfectly constructed and understandable. The actors leant it broadway huff and puff. The watts illuminated emotional longing. Aaron Paul had an opportunity to steal and he took it, succeeding in hosting more than one spirit. Josh Hartnett plugs sweaty emotion into an astronaut whose reason for life has ended. Kate Mara is an other. The era suits Mara and her beautiful chops. S6E4. Mazey Day. Resembling Brittney Spears is not reason enough to grant a stranger mercy. S6E5. Trash that you shuck out the window after inspecting it. Beyond The Sea was the exception to mediocrity. It was great. 18-Jun-2023
Danny Thomas Show, The (1953-1965)

There seems to be silence on the legacy of this classic sitcom. It started as Make Room For Daddy and mushroomed into The Danny Thomas Show. I saw all of the latter and only a handful of the other. The actress playing his wife, in the first half, had disdain for the man and it showed. Her composure did not scream nurturing, romantic or in love. Wrong place for the wrong actress. Danny played a version of himself. He was a singer/comedian who worked nightclubs. Jabbing at Danny's Lebanese culture was open, respectful and knowledgable. Lucy & Desi were his parents (friends) and Dick Van Dyke was his cousin (spin-off.) The show was blessed with energetic ideas, comic genius and non-stop showmanship. Danny must have learned how Lucy did it because he found his cute and sarcastic wit. Second wife was glamorous, vindictive, funny and hot. Marjorie Lord went shopping with Lucy Ricardo, cooked in fashion, got him in the mood and plotted her revenge in a very elegant and comical manner. The son is a scene stealer. Even when he made a mistake he diverted it with more funny. His adorability peaked in his tweens and crashed in his teens but he had a memorable run. Funny as fuck. The daughter was a prime teen that left before her character became unbearable. She had her moments. Louise was the household maid that was played by two elder pros. She got to hug white children, gossip with the wife, celebrate as a family member and sass the boss. A proud black woman. She isn't in all the episodes but the character remained til the end. The guest stars were numerous. The writers succeeded in incorporating them into strong storylines. The topics were basic, like feminism, how men can't do anything right, a woman can do anything men can do, a gift abolishes snarls and make-up sex is her way of accepting an apology. Penny from Lost In Space enters as a cute sister moppet that was supposed to bring adorability and sunshine. She was a work in progress. She laughs during line readings and when Mr. Thomas is doing his thing. She's cute and annoying. He was a great teacher, though. He hands a season to his working buddy and his domineering wife, played by the original Ursula from the Little Mermaid. It was an odd experiment giving supporting players full reign. They had to fill really big shoes and were no longer the sitcom air freshener. Ursula flopped around like she was getting paid to play charades on land. She was a bit too much. Danny was a ham. He sang in almost every episode. He shoved it down our throats but was so adamant and easy going that we learned to accept it and stopped praying that he didn't sing in the next episode. They had minorities galore and a successful run from the 50s through the 60s. Well-written, comical, consistent and timeless. One of a kind. Why don't we ever celebrate it? 06-Jun-2023
Love Is Blind (2020)

Reunion. Kwame was looking real fine tethered to his million dollar mink. Was the derogatory remark Marshall used on Jackie, "trans?" How lgbtq of him. Prop Bro You changed his looks but kept Joe's drawl. The gorgeous mad mane was replaced by chemicals that flattened their splendor. He squished a bigger body and he gained an intellectual's beard. He's either hiding his identity, ready to disappear or he's playing Joe's stuntman for the final season of You. Original Joe decided to channel Cuban Pete. All he needed was a sombrero and a set of bongos between his legs. I never realized how much insignificance he applies to the person that couldn't be ladylike. I wanted to be an earplug stuck on a couch listening to the Yous whispering:
OrgU: I'm losing it brother
ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)
OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe)
Slap!!!
Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!
The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023
S4E11. Prop Bro You hates strippers, especially unattractive ones. He usually eats them for lunch. When he was in the pool with Bliss he looked like he was imagining what parts of her he would fry first. If he were a serial killer that is. Chelsea kept acting the part even as a hairdresser burnt her hair. She's psychic too, like that pretty terrifying celebrity twink. She immediately pegged Kwame's sister because she was the only black woman to enter the bridal suite. 08-Apr-2023
S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023
S4E9. That lady Chelsea thinks that relationships are about being serviced. Kwame needs to fastball her. Marshall is petrified of vagina. Pretty eyes can't fuck. Jackelina, run! Zach is still property managing his You charisma. TG Bliss is desperate. If a man doesn't want to engage a partner in sex it's because he has an STD or doesn't have a knack for it. Dump. 07-Apr-2023
Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023
The women came to vamp and conquer men that will never satisfy them but hopefully, will keep them barefoot and pregnant with a ring on it. The feminist plan is to train men to lie about everything so the women can feel loved and acknowledged. A man will say anything to a woman for a steady prospective orgasm. It means less outside hookups, more money and lots of family time. The women turned the dating show into The Hunger Games because they hate other women. Hearing women fangirling to idiot things men make up, is disconcerting. The banter appeared read off a corny romance novel or movie, they memorized. When you swoon at bad singing you will regret it. Their were 2 Joes from You. One of them looked like an impassioned third Property Brother. The women that connived for them are not amused. Dude, Prop Bro is the hottest man there. It's okay. The contestants have realized that the purpose of the show is to get married and bear fucking children from all that they desire so they too can make regrettable choices in life. 15-Feb-2023
Big Daddy (1999)

Asinine logistics applied to fatherdom for laughs and guffaws. Its savior is not logic but cuteness. You can cuddle with any of these people except the Russian character. 05-Apr-2023
Law Of The Jungle, The (2023)

There's a tattoo daddy whose tattoos were written with lousy penmanship. There's a perfect Jesus. All Muscle Beauty and No Brawn is a cuddle bunny. My favorite was the gay guy who reminded me of Styles from Teen Wolf. What a good boy he was. 20-Mar-2023
The challenges were poor and juvenile. The team members were melodramatic and aggressively weak. There is a large pot of money to compete for but the show sabotages it by allowing certain teammates to steal from it. The competitors play to whatever devil grants them some money. They have hard luck stories to back up why they might play only for themselves. It's rough out there for a cowboy and his horse. It's a tacky version of Outlast with sexy guys and heart. 20-Mar-2023
Outlast (2022-)

It's Dr. Kevorkian Island for survivalists. 16-Mar-2023
I have to applaud Netflix for providing a reality show that delayed my sleeping pill by an hour and a half because I was pissed and self punishing. Every Jesus that stepped up to compete with the psychotic nation, were cancelled. It's not like real life but it is. People that cheat (at awards, merit, talent, money, sex, love, representation and telling the truth) with expectations of fair-play, doom us. Their stories are only fake to people that avoid it, it's life to everybody else. 16-Mar-2023
S1E5. The challenges are brutal, there are no individuals to root for, some of the women in charge are vindictive shit stirrers and I can't stop watching. What is the point of having women on our team if they're going to be heartless? Where's the balance? Takeover is not equality. It's that thing that happened at the White House with the white people. 15-Mar-2023
Hush (1998)

Jessica Lange tortures Gwyneth Paltrow because she can. Unfortunately, not enough to qualify for Mommie Dearest status. The editing is abrasive and the film has the confidence of a TV movie from the 80s. Schaech is a floral centerpiece and the ladies work it but the movie is melodramatic. 10-Mar-2023
Triangle Of Sadness (2022)

The first half was Love Boat: Vomit/Shitter in 3D. The finale was a Gilligan's Island: The Professor Created A New Drug We Have To Try episode. The connections are slight. I did not believe Woody Harrelson as a captain. Over-the-top jibber jabber that had nothing to do with anything. The rich are dependent on service and can't survive circumstances in which work is allotted therefore the service becomes king. A servant serves until she earns the right to do otherwise. She can start a fire, hunt and cook. She, The King. Raping that beautiful boy belonging to an even more beautiful wife, was done for our amusement. Right? Bits are hilarious but I didn't really get what they were saying. 04-Mar-2023
Perfect Match (2023-)

Something tells me that most of the men and half the women, would have found a perfect match had they cloned Francesca. Abbey decided to strip the thighmaster of his crown and knight him a dick. 02-Mar-2023
A questionable sex partner sort of dumped Francesca. Yippee! He did it so he could stay and torture the fuck out of the man inside her. In the last aired episode he shaved his body to look more like a bitch. A gorgeous virgin who promises sex only in marriage is mandating that a partner suffer poor sex for the rest of their lives. He's not a lover, he's your brother. 24-Feb-2023
They should give camera people a special award for rewarding viewers with juicy thigh shots. The party started as soon as the Thigh King twitched in his shorts. They were everywhere. I haven't caught up yet but I hope somebody dumps Francesca. All she's doing is trying on different dicks. Like they were dresses at a bargain basement store. That poor sad flat black boy. 22-Feb-2023