The child did extraordinary things, quoted words not associated with children and plagiarized previous strokes. The last minute saves were so expected that emotional attachment got lost. Melissa Barrera gave Faith from Buffy vibes. Dan Stevens was blank. The first surprise is like everything before it. Once the cat is out of the bag the movie falls into WB TV status. Yes, it was a surprise but a sucky one. 28-Nov-2024

Single mother starts a new life with her son in the boondocks. Woods are spooky with a giant hole in the ground. Baby boy disappears into the woods and returns different. A neighbor's history tells of a mother falling apart at losing her son to the woods, going to prison, killing her son and being constantly haunted. She becomes deranged, unacceptable but tolerated. No one believes her truth because all nutty people are considered liars. But the nutty people are always right. We don't want to look at that shit so we ignore it, the way we don't Santa and Barbie. Mama believes the lady's mythology when she too faces that dilemma. The child is a spooky chill, the mother's face speaks volumes and the director allows us space to breathe. Cliches disrupt the flow. Dreams no longer surprise. The end was a meh and a what. Craft without sense. 29-Nov-2023

When pristine horror gets blood splattered, it resonates. AI has become a substitute for jobs that were once revered by the original occupant. Humans. Live shows, movies, tv, music, computers, phones, news, robots, etc. Each performance shaping the community they want to live in. M3GN has many faults but protecting a child was a built-in priority. A grieving child with no parents, structure or stability will succumb to the charms of a robot if you make her look and act like a best friend. Aunty creates M3GN and other incredibly expensive robotic toys that probably belong in a mansion. Her new invention is going to cure parenting and loneliness... moving the child farther away from a heart beat. M3GAN is a beautiful creation, maneuvered rightly, timed perfectly and a show stopper. The more M3GN claimed the child the more motherly aunty became. Flaws can be overlooked when the value of entertainment is so high. Perfectly cast and remembered. Fun as fuck! I wished she had killed more. As long as creator and monster are liable, human parenting will diminish. I am one of those children. My real mother's name was television. I'm sure somebody's heard of her. 22-May-2023

A mother is left to fend for herself when her husband is called to duty. The building scares and the apartment is freaky. The actor/daughter was a happy accident. She was cute and alert. The lack of music created tension. Mother's home is crumbling, the war is raging, daddy hardly calls, little girl starts hallucinating, women had no power and she's losing her mind. The mother and daughter had natural reactions. The level of trust spiraled as mine did. Can she do it or is she fucked? The mother's parenting skills are questioned throughout. The scare jumps were surprisingly scary. The fight had guts. Did she really slap that child? If it was real, she didn't flinch. I see sheets with a different eye, now. Unique. 14-Mar-2023

The inestimable is the most hurtful. Brian Bonsall played Mikey, a throwaway child with trust, jealousy and psychotic issues. The actor had the smarts of an adult aware of its value. Everyone loves "new" adorable thing until it becomes codependent and angry. The conversations are the same as today, which freaked me out. "We're still talking about the same shit with the non-resolutions." Mikey is presented as an adoptive boy trying to adjust to a family that has suddenly enforced rules. They must die, the most inept investigators can't solve it and adorable little Mikey is psychoanalyzed for PTSD after secretly killing them. The psychiatrist frees him into the adoption system with an "all he needs is love" diagnosis and Mikey moves on to the next stupid family. Mikey has learned that electricity and water don't mix, you can hit real balls with bats, cops can't solve anything, mothers just stand there screaming while you're stabbing them to death and to remove the bullets from adult guns and disconnect their phones so they can't fight back. Empty guns waving in the dark. Elementary school sports training consisted of coaches deciding which boy would be a "skin" or a "shirt" for no apparent reason other than to be a pervert. Telling certain kids and not others to strip is insulting and absolutely gay. His favorite teacher becomes suspicious of the boy's monstrous tendencies when he adds marbles to her "marble game." A box is designated for the kids to drop marbles they earn for good deeds. The more marbles of goodness you inherit the quicker you can fill it so its doors burst open and you can receive a prize. She investigates his history but his adoption file is closed and the witnesses are minimal. There is no living thing that is safe when Mikey gets pissed. Will he spare no one? Kids dragging adult dead bodies, killing cats, feeding frogs to sharks, setting up the boyfriend and using a bow and arrow to kill are hilarious. Everything looks TV safe and appealing, the deaths are LOL and Bonsall keeps on giving. He is the conservative cunt that arises when successful families keep pushing the same subject without advancing. Mikey is the child liberated from bullshit. Baby boy is my new "Carrie."

PS: dudes, if she wants childrenx and you don't, show her this movie. Repeated viewing depends on her voracity for children and disdain for the film. Keep it downlow. We don't want to damage her. Keep it stealthily in the background and don't stop watching it. Make it a top ten of all time. Yeah, it's crap but its better than having a baby. 21-Feb-2022

Twinkster disinherits himself from family business after father is injured on a boat. He wants to prance around at home and live a gay lifestyle but poverty is on the horizon and evictions are forthcoming. The twinkster becomes a cabin boy and a hero on his way to becoming a man. The mystery is well-plotted and it connects with simple realities. Trials await all who become men and little orphan/stowaway girls have the experience to kick it with them. 16-Jul-2021

This is primo Chucky and Andy. It's ridiculous but hilarious. The parents are knobs being foster parents to a teenage lesbian with survival skills and a traumatic Andy who's mother has been institutionalized for believing in human dolls. Chucky is alive, more expressive and an artistic cunt. The toy factory was it. 24-Jun-2021

Spoiled kid starts a war with grandpa when hardship hits the elder and he has to move in with daughter and family. Mom and dad evict boy from his room so grandpa can die in it. The mistake is starting a war at all. Grandpa is too cute for mistreatment. Had the hijinks been pranks instead of combat they would have elicited warm feelings. The adults were jelling and the kids were posting but most of the pranks were classic TV lame. 13-Mar-2021

It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020

A small town mysteriously blacks out for several hours. Weeks later, the fertile and virginal become pregnant. The teens are horrified, the wives are wary and the husbands who were not fucking their wives become suicidal. The children are born healthier, smarter, with mind reading and control capabilities and a united unfeeling force. The film doesn't drag itself with science but it contemplates the dread of a parent who has borne an unknown conqueror into the world. The town shuns or avoids them, some try appeasement, others want them locked away and many want them destroyed. The little darlings are the new marshal in town and nobody messes with these unfeeling fuckers. George Sanders provides his "everything makes sense when I do it" persona and is the adoptive father of the children. He wants to understand them and mesh their purpose with earth civilization but his heart and scientific curiosity minimizes their threat. There were occurrences and reactions around the world where the children invaded, were massacred or imprisoned and mothers murdered for defying God that were spoken of but not filmed. Ready made sequels. 05-Oct-2020

Girl home alone. Dying dad bestows his daughter home security and life skills that would allow her to survive until adulthood. Alexis Smith plays the ultimate Karen whose landlady suspicions arise at a most inconvenient time and whose spats with Miss Jodie are powerhouse. (The slap was everything.) Martin Sheen was so realistically slimy as a predator that I had to imagine it was his spawn's "Charlie character" from Two & Half Men. When you acquire power from self reliance, self love and luck, only the broken and the animals will be able to understand you. Miss Jodie doesn't quiver, exudes superior knowledge, bitches like an equal and demands the respect of a girl who wants to live in the house that daddy paid for. 04-Oct-2020

The film capitalizes on the idea that a belief in God compels naivete, lechery, sexual compulsion, loss and unforgiving violence. I'm good with that but where is the soul worth saving? Films are now made out of sap or coal. Everybody loves a bitch but they're quick to die in a bubble bath of flames. That's sad. Tom Holland never does wrong and his accent is acceptable, Bill Skarsgard was not allowed to stretch his beautiful bug-eyed wings, Sebastian is now a senior fuckable memory, Harry Melling scared the It out of me and Robert Pattinson head blocked me. His accent and sound was so confusing that I pondered looking up his real voice on Youtube. Different is not necessarily great. Bad Batman villain auditions are in Building 69, building 2 is for serious actors. The women are a form for destruction. God uses them as tools to test the depths of man. It is a well-done play with absolutely no value to offer its audience. 18-Sep-2020

Puberty boy realizes his carnal urge for queen sex is life-preserving and destructive. Samara Weaving serves Harley Quinn gusto, Robbie Amell is humdinger stripper/killer/rapist, Bella Thorne tears it like a beauty pageant winner, Hana Mae Lee slices and dices and the babies are sweet. The irrational violence is its humor and its perverted violence is its soul. The kills may be cannon but revenge is sweet. 16-Sep-2020

This is the conclusion to all the movie pandemics. The easy saves were cliche but the tough stuff was visionary. The sweety darling in danger may be repetitive, but she's so cute. The error asides don't matter if the director envisions a whole. The cure for the virus and the safety of the world is to kill all of the infected. Disaster movie, indeed. 17-Apr-2020

It doesn't punctuate the title but the surroundings are trapped shut, baby bubble is dramatically shoved, pulled and pie faced into reality and the effects remind you without shaking you. It's a film that passes but makes us feel like we stumbled upon a midseason finale cliffhanger. 05-Mar-2020