All Posts Tagged as 'Retread'
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Deliverance, The (2024)
X-corist, Amyty and Geist are the main ingredients that make up this film. It's three interwoven white stories rewritten for black people. Andra Day portrayed a monster with minimal happy days. She was constantly confrontational, inconsistent and influenced. If it weren't for dames Monique and Close, I would have left. I don't think anybody can play an old hillbilly slut better than Glenn. Evil Glenn was appetizing and distinguished. Monique created a believable character from top to bottom and didn't fidget. A successful sequel to The Exorcist might have consisted of observing Regan's memories returning and their dire effects. Regan: Pazuzu Returns! 04-Sep-2024
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)
I've outgrown this franchise. Only a kid's imagination can enjoy it because the ideas no longer allow adults to unwind. There isn't much to distinguish the brother from the sister. They are still rocking Ripley curls, their gender is unidentifiable and the girl has all the brains. Carrie Coon comes off as a side of beef instead of a serious actress. Paul Rudd was floating in the multiverse. Either nobody wanted to be in the same frame as Bill Murray or he really wasn't there. He was missing in many key shots. Patton Oswalt didn't sound like a mythical bird and cannot replace Rick Moranis. Ernie, Annie and Dan are safe. Movie ghost technology hasn't evolved since Casper and reviving a demon doesn't satisfy the theme. It had no whimsy, imagination or heart. 24-Jul-2024
There's Something In The Barn (2023)
The director didn't add scope to cramped spaces. The set-up was an opportunity to marry into the Gremlins family but the creatives were inspired to make schlock. It was nice to have a boy do something in a movie besides being written out. The thing in the barn is not a CGI wonder or a Chucky miracle. It was old and dusty, like the script. I hope they hired some little people, at least. The film confuses weird with scary. The action sequences were frozen, the comedy was foggy and horror didn't show up. 01-Apr-2024
Code 8 Pt. 2 (2024)
A movie should fulfill its promises. It promised that somebody was going to die if they did something. They did and nothing happened. False climax. It would have added a human touch to a technical movie. I didn't understand how the powers worked. There were instances when they could have used them to get out of situations but didn't. Scenes end after every cliffhanger and we lose out on the action. No slicing and dicing. Little girl had the lamest power. I can turn off electrical devices too, so can Alexa and I don't have to touch her. The sequel did everything it did before and didn't grow. The robot dogs were impervious to electricity, but died because of it. Stepping on water when you're electric doesn't sound like a good idea. They shifted the board but kept the game the same. 03-Mar-2024
Rebel Moon: A Child On Fire (2023)
The handsomest director in Hollywood makes a movie of wonder. It's a what if Star Wars account of what a boy imagines. The movie is crisp and lighting glows with clarification. He brought all the elements but kept it, mostly western. The effects glide, Anthony Hopkins is a beautiful thing, Djimon Hinsou wowed in a semi birthday suit, the alpha bodies were to die for, the story never strayed from its path and the action sequences held. Unfortunately, our heroine was flat, unsympathetic and a cold lesbian killing machine. It was realistic to see a man kick the shit out of a woman, threaten rapes of virgins and pretty straight boys and for races to exist as different societies. Snyder recreates scenarios oft repeated and makes them look bright but not all the senses can see. 23-Dec-2023
Evil Dead Rise (2023)
Dickless entry in the Evil Dead series. I fell asleep midway through but saw enough of it not to regret it. 16-Jul-2023
Halloween Ends (2022)
I hope so. Besides the original two, no one has added anything fresh, stimulating or artistic. Michael is psychic now. He can tell when someone's been bad to children, like Santa Claus. They gave Laurie white guilt because she is responsible for unleashing all the serial killers in our community. It felt equivalent to hanging Carroll O'Connor for his amazing portrayal of a bigot. Laurie's feminism got softened. She sets up her granddaughter, that almost got killed by the most famous serial killer ever, with a date that served time for maybe killing a child. Yeah, the kid died. Worst parent ever. Why couldn't they meet on their own without Laurie's instincts being seniled? Absolutely not, you are never leaving this house until that psycho is off the streets! That would have been enough fury to unleash a psycho. Corey's idea of a possible serial killer is smiling like he's auditioning for The Dark Knight: The Joker Reborn. An animated feature. I wished the psychos in my life were that funny. Giving Corey a storyline was a stall tactic because they didn't know how to end it. It's been so long that they forgot the purpose. It mistook the original as schlock entertainment and served it as such. What stood out in the original was the images, hand magic, ideas and symbolism. Awesome music is ingrained, a mask and a scream queen born of Janet Leigh never hurt. Everyone deserved better. 02-Feb-2023
Woman King, The (2022)
Not only were the true Agojie violent cutthroats they were also responsible for the massacre and enslavement of millions. According to historians the women were discarded third wives that husbands no longer found worthy of sharing a bed with. King Ghezo was one of the biggest slave traders of his time and trained the discarded women to massacre, sacrifice, enslave and sell men, women and children, no matter the tribe. The film fantasizes that the amazonian women formed their own empowerment group and conquered the white people that invaded them. White characters are sketched with no humanity which makes the action appear cruel instead of intoxicating. In the world of the living, the white people being fought were trying to abolish slavery and succeeded in killing the women instantaneously. Production was handed a bold cast to portray male versions of themselves. What a pity they couldn't find real women to emulate. 05-Jan-2023
Black Adam (2022)
Dwayne Johnson did not consider that the stoic and angry facade of an ancient god is not equivalent to Arnold playing a Terminator. A vengeful all powerful god would have much to express besides muscle matter. The skateboard annoyed me. Studious colored boys did not skate in our hoods. It attracted thieves that would steal it and smash it over our heads. Sarah Shahi played the only invulnerable man on land. At no time did we get to enjoy Noah Centineo's package, neither when he was big or small. Quintess' Cyclone consisted of a Quincenera elf suit and the special powers of Rainbow Brite. It does everything critics dislike about movies and more. Self-introduction, cheerleading, self-promotion, the jesus complex, preaching and copying things misunderstood. It's hard to tolerate a superhero with little vulnerability. It's like watching the same action gif over and over. 21-Dec-2022
My Policeman (2022)
A very soft policeman. Harry Styles keeps it monotone and unenthusiastic. He pants oddly during blowjobs and he can't kiss for shit. His "s's" and "t's" were so crisp that I thought his accent was fake. I wanted to shake him. I came in the first few minutes and never got a hardon again. I felt like leaving so many times but felt obligated to stay. We prefer to talk about our olden times instead of setting a better path with a real story from today. We can be honest about the past without it burning us in the present. The laws have changed but we have not. It's 50s Britain, where cops live in Tarduses, aging twinks can become cops, twink cops get picked up by perverts and an innocent girl trashes her entire life so her husband and their bff can enjoy gay sex. Emotions run cold. Everything is so quiet and unassuming that you sometimes believe one of the lovers might be serial. P.S.: gays are only miserable at the end of their lives, all else is just fun. 05-Nov-2022
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
The witches are back to eat a delicacy known as colored children. No one works harder than Bette and nobody outflanks her. It's her boat. The treat is hard Halloween candy that sometimes melts in your mouth. The trick is to watch without prejudice. 01-Oct-2022
Blonde (2022)
Another depressed mother dooms a fabulous child into living a miserable life. De Armas is studied and emotionally frazzled but at times, she distracted me by resembling Lady Gaga. Details and relationships are scat as it relies heavily on an icon who shrinks into childhood oblivion whenever something goes wrong in her life. The film allows the woman little joy and constant paranoia. 28-Sep-2022
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Scripting black people to complain about cops and confederate flags is not thoughtful. Killing all the black actors anyway, is not giving a shit. Making me confused about female sexuality is a useless gay time thing. Leatherface is nothing without family dependability. He was the icing on the family cake. A family that celebrated meat, farming and death. Icing without cake is a blob. 22-Feb-2022
Candyman (2021)
Non-movie illustration of why "Oscar So White" is still so prevalent. Candyman is stripped of sensual ferocity, opinion and reason. His myth is re-written and implied by puppetry because the talent wasn't inspired to showcase it. The scares couldn't unhinge a cockroach. The deaths are remote with closeup shots of thick red Kool-aid. The violence is hesitant because most black people are petrified of supernatural violence. It scratches the ghetto but refuses to live in it because black people don't want to return there. Whites have gentrified the ghetto and blacks are mad as hell because they weren't given enough time to make their home livable. "Welfare knocked on my door before I had a chance to straighten up." "Bitch, you know white people can't watch good land go to waste." Blacks with dedication and drive enjoy the gentrified lifestyle while critiquing their hosts and avoiding the nasty parts of their neighborhood. This is all supposed to tie in with a confusing Candyman revenge backstory. The candy was uninspired. It should have looked scrumptious and colorful. It looked like granny's recycled Christmas candy. Only fat kids pick that shit up. It wasn't woke enough to have Colman Domingo fuck Candyman. The film required more gays so Candyman could kill the two. Too bad. In what world are there more cops in the neighborhood than community? 31-Jan-2022
Bruised (2021)
The film describes a violent female as a failed mother/wife/child whose rage needs to be re-directed towards a profit. A killer that knows when to stop is a champion. They don't fight to save the world but themselves. Halle's fighter is homeless, negative and miserable. She keeps her feelings Eastwood. The boy's tongue was cut because he was either a lousy actor or the audience doesn't need to hear a black boy speak. Hispanics inherit black male stereotypes. Lesbian and mama were ready to sparkle but were given little illumination. It piles cliches without original thinking. I kept hoping she was a secretary with a hot lesbian boss. At least she would have been cute. 28-Nov-2021