All Posts Tagged as 'Coincidence Laden'
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28 Years Later (2025)

It was unique in prioritizing emotional impact. Young boy is being indoctrinated by his community. A hunt will open his eyes and a kill will make him a man. The rules are established during his training and dead mythology was properly explained. Goals, powers and limitations prepared us. Human escape was suspenseful, the town was slightly defined, the bonds were on and off, credibility began to wallow and the "last minute saves" were unwelcome. A character in a difficult situation has the responsibility to save themselves and gift the audience a survival skill. Dad was a gorgeous asshole that got blamed for everything. Boy forgot he too was a man. A bedridden mother goes on an adventure to cure her mental illness. Dude, she's bedridden! I don't understand how the son could go on such a quest after an intense first hunt. Watching parent cheating sex does not make you fearless. The doctor was an unnecessary paradox. The showdown was sour, the actors were wasted and cliches dissolved reasoning. The boy went on a quest to do something dangerous that he could have calmly done at home. 24-Sep-2025
Superman (2025)

It promises a lot that it doesn't deliver. It celebrates itself before we get a chance to absorb any of it. Beating Superman like a desperate housewife does not bring humanity to his persona and establishing himself as a victim of puny super abuse is not consistent with his mythology. Gunn did not utilize kryptonite because it limited action but embraced creating sun out of everything. It's a willing cast except for the Clarks. They were very hillbilly stupid. The big bad was existential with a personal vendetta and no superpowers to start a fight. The last half goes silly, corny and festive. Fillion's silver bowl hair distracted from his personality. It was also ugly. Mr. Terrific made most of his time by being cool whenever possible, Hawkgirl was miscast as a girl. She's a woman. A Gorilla Grodd would have introduced freshness to the tired and true. A drunk Supergirl was irresponsible and out of place. Does Clark also fuck Lois in the air? The film is just an introduction. 21-Sep-2025
Trap (2024)

Hartnett's choice of psycho was goofy and almost unbearable to watch. The close-ups where he talks directly into the camera were off-putting and silly. The nepo concert felt endless and obvious. The father/daughter dynamic was thin and cardboard. They didn't show how Josh got from one place to another, he was just there. All the answers landed so simply that it trashed the clues. The twist was great as a spoken word but without presentation it's null. The home life doesn't enter until the end when we no longer give a fuck. Maybe it should have started there and include the daughter in the plot. She realizes he's psycho and has to kill him. But how?! 27-Oct-2024
Uglies (2024)

Interesting premise that has no solid fictional reference to back it up. The idea that you get surgery at 16 to look your most beautiful self and be happy is fraudulent. Why didn't the people revolt before they agreed to a ludicrous way of living? What happens to the naturally beautiful? Vanity purists wouldn't allow that type of interruption to their legacy. Is there anything uglier than uglies? Do they step up to ugly status when the others reach nirvana? How many mothers popped ugly babies for society to enact such a rule? The baddie was a borderline dystopian with comic book strokes. If the rulers can manipulate the people to overhaul ugly, why go to the next extreme? The beauty is for whom? I liked Nose better before he turned into a Final Fantasy character. The movie made me self conscious of the lead's looks. I was judging them constantly to see if she fit the part. All she needed was a bath. The finale was maddening. You mean the baddies could have done that all along? What did they need Tally for? Her history with Nose had a heartbeat but her new buddy happend too swiftly and coincidentally to kick. Nose closure was a post-it from somebody else's refrigerator. I wished Croy was Smoke. Feelings coming back after transitioning wasn't explored enough to be convincing. Wouldn't starting fires to escape the opposition create an air map for the enemy? Skate surfing scenes uplifted but forging through the woods to bring grandma back was stark. It was not painful to watch or stay. 18-Sep-2024
Deliverance, The (2024)

X-corist, Amyty and Geist are the main ingredients that make up this film. It's three interwoven white stories rewritten for black people. Andra Day portrayed a monster with minimal happy days. She was constantly confrontational, inconsistent and influenced. If it weren't for dames Monique and Close, I would have left. I don't think anybody can play an old hillbilly slut better than Glenn. Evil Glenn was appetizing and distinguished. Monique created a believable character from top to bottom and didn't fidget. A successful sequel to The Exorcist might have consisted of observing Regan's memories returning and their dire effects. Regan: Pazuzu Returns! 04-Sep-2024
There's Something In The Barn (2023)

The director didn't add scope to cramped spaces. The set-up was an opportunity to marry into the Gremlins family but the creatives were inspired to make schlock. It was nice to have a boy do something in a movie besides being written out. The thing in the barn is not a CGI wonder or a Chucky miracle. It was old and dusty, like the script. I hope they hired some little people, at least. The film confuses weird with scary. The action sequences were frozen, the comedy was foggy and horror didn't show up. 01-Apr-2024
Anatomy Of A Fall (2023)

Shots were placed strategically, playing P.I.M.P. on rotation filled the house with dread and the dog tore up his scenes. The lead played it one-sided which gave away the outcome. There was no Bette Davis conniver in her spirit. The film never strays from repeating the same story from different angles. It becomes exhausting to sit through. It needed to give the audience a break from the same subject. The clues fell so easily on the writer's lap that no surprises were forthcoming. They coerced the kid to pick a side but the director didn't. 22-Mar-2024
Faithfully Yours (2022)

You tell the truth to be heard and you tell lies to get out of jams that being honest beget. The end road is making lies happen. Two wives use a girls vacation to fuck other people. Something bad happens and the rest is a mystery that confines the leads and surprises as much as it doesn't. It satiates like a Lifetime movie with cigarettes. 13-Mar-2024
Hole In The Ground, The (2019)

Single mother starts a new life with her son in the boondocks. Woods are spooky with a giant hole in the ground. Baby boy disappears into the woods and returns different. A neighbor's history tells of a mother falling apart at losing her son to the woods, going to prison, killing her son and being constantly haunted. She becomes deranged, unacceptable but tolerated. No one believes her truth because all nutty people are considered liars. But the nutty people are always right. We don't want to look at that shit so we ignore it, the way we don't Santa and Barbie. Mama believes the lady's mythology when she too faces that dilemma. The child is a spooky chill, the mother's face speaks volumes and the director allows us space to breathe. Cliches disrupt the flow. Dreams no longer surprise. The end was a meh and a what. Craft without sense. 29-Nov-2023
65 (2023)

Dinosaurs are tired, saving a girl that can take care of herself is trope and the science fiction wasn't specifically satisfactory. How many bullets does that one gun have? Why did the girl use all of the bombs? The dinosaurs are typical with little variation. There isn't much more that film can say or do about/to dinosaurs. We know everything. Most action sequences placed me in another's movie with no respect for originality yet it struck as a future cult film. 09-Jul-2023
Fright (1971)

It predated classics that trumped it. It was a template for the future. It was also a piece of junk. It was a film full of ideas that had to bombastically announce them. Michael Myers lived in a multi-verse where Laurie Strode "is" his sister. He kidnaps her, a baby, rapes her in front of the child and recoils until he's horny again. Did she give birth to Michael Myers, Jr. from multi-verse Halloweens? There was a glimmer of Joker's "dance with the devil" choreography. It made babysitting a shitty job. The privileged are forced to hire child haters. The child was adorable even when being manhandled by all sorts of creepy adults. The house is where you want to film it, Susan George didn't need to act and everybody needed to tone it down. 04-Jul-2023
Antman & The Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

Cuteness and self congratulations does not befit these superpowered saviors. It rehashes helicopter dad and rebellious vigilante super daughter, predictably and unattached. Paul Rudd looked confused. The daughter misses being a good thing because she is stereotyped. MODOK looked like a badly stretched photo. The Quantum Realm was a mishmash of background paintings with no movement or the dulcet tones of Bob Ross. The inhabitants are the rejected drawings of cantina ideas for all the Star Wars films. The director applied the cutesies to an alien slime that cutely spoke. Good job actor, but there is nothing cute about talking jello. Pfeiffer tackled her heroism with gusto even though the words sounded exhausted. Chemistry was beginning to form between her and Kang. They should have played that out as a Part 1. The support was alert but there was too much realm and rah rah rah. The purpose of this pilot movie was to introduce Kang so it can comfortably occupy more room in the tie-ins. Majors hits all the right notes but Kang is underwritten and easily beaten. 18-May-2023
Smile (2022)

If you want your black fiancee to dump you, seek comfort with your adorable ex whose a cop and explain to him that you are not mentally ill but cursed. Parker Posey and Hillary Swank's niece pants as much as she talks in the role of a useless psychoanalyst. It avoids the psychic explanation but grants us a hooey mythology. The smile is irrelevant. It's a wink to Joker's laugh gas. The kid's party had me rolling, the mother turning into a drag queen was unexpected but the juju was preposterous. 24-Feb-2023
Halloween Ends (2022)

I hope so. Besides the original two, no one has added anything fresh, stimulating or artistic. Michael is psychic now. He can tell when someone's been bad to children, like Santa Claus. They gave Laurie white guilt because she is responsible for unleashing all the serial killers in our community. It felt equivalent to hanging Carroll O'Connor for his amazing portrayal of a bigot. Laurie's feminism got softened. She sets up her granddaughter, that almost got killed by the most famous serial killer ever, with a date that served time for maybe killing a child. Yeah, the kid died. Worst parent ever. Why couldn't they meet on their own without Laurie's instincts being seniled? Absolutely not, you are never leaving this house until that psycho is off the streets! That would have been enough fury to unleash a psycho. Corey's idea of a possible serial killer is smiling like he's auditioning for The Dark Knight: The Joker Reborn. An animated feature. I wished the psychos in my life were that funny. Giving Corey a storyline was a stall tactic because they didn't know how to end it. It's been so long that they forgot the purpose. It mistook the original as schlock entertainment and served it as such. What stood out in the original was the images, hand magic, ideas and symbolism. Awesome music is ingrained, a mask and a scream queen born of Janet Leigh never hurt. Everyone deserved better. 02-Feb-2023
Glass Onion (2022)

Daniel Craig returns to torture southern accents and be a dork. Janelle Monae acted better with an accent but not so much as herself. She needs an injection of actor vulnerability. Kathryn Hahn is still a witch. I couldn't see Leslie Odom Jr. and Jessica Henwick through all that glass. Hollywood never took advantage that Kate Hudson is her mother's doppelganger. Bautista was full on daddy and Edward Norton deserves a comeback. Elements of the whodunnit were clever but the whole was overblown. 23-Dec-2022