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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Coincidence Laden'

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There's Something In The Barn (2023) Bites

The director didn't add scope to cramped spaces. The set-up was an opportunity to marry into the Gremlins family but the creatives were inspired to make schlock. It was nice to have a boy do something in a movie besides being written out. The thing in the barn is not a CGI wonder or a Chucky miracle. It was old and dusty, like the script. I hope they hired some little people, at least. The film confuses weird with scary. The action sequences were frozen, the comedy was foggy and horror didn't show up. 01-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Cold, Comedy, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Fatigue, Holiday, Horror Mild, Preposterous, Retread, Silly, Stupid Funny, Weird

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01-Apr-2024


Anatomy Of A Fall (2023) Arf

Shots were placed strategically, playing P.I.M.P. on rotation filled the house with dread and the dog tore up his scenes. The lead played it one-sided which gave away the outcome. There was no Bette Davis conniver in her spirit. The film never strays from repeating the same story from different angles. It becomes exhausting to sit through. It needed to give the audience a break from the same subject. The clues fell so easily on the writer's lap that no surprises were forthcoming. They coerced the kid to pick a side but the director didn't. 22-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Coincidence Laden, Creepy, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Music Swings, Predictable, Psychological, Relationships, Repetitive, Sentimental, Star Watt, Subtle, Timid, Too Long, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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22-Mar-2024


Faithfully Yours (2022) Woof

You tell the truth to be heard and you tell lies to get out of jams that being honest beget. The end road is making lies happen. Two wives use a girls vacation to fuck other people. Something bad happens and the rest is a mystery that confines the leads and surprises as much as it doesn't. It satiates like a Lifetime movie with cigarettes. 13-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Coincidence Laden, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Foreign, Good Acting, Lesbian, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Suspense, Timid, TV-like, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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13-Mar-2024


Hole In The Ground, The (2019) Arf

Single mother starts a new life with her son in the boondocks. Woods are spooky with a giant hole in the ground. Baby boy disappears into the woods and returns different. A neighbor's history tells of a mother falling apart at losing her son to the woods, going to prison, killing her son and being constantly haunted. She becomes deranged, unacceptable but tolerated. No one believes her truth because all nutty people are considered liars. But the nutty people are always right. We don't want to look at that shit so we ignore it, the way we don't Santa and Barbie. Mama believes the lady's mythology until she too faces that dilemma. The child is a spooky chill, the mother's face speaks volumes and the director allows us space to breathe. Cliches disrupt the flow. Dreams no longer surprise. The end was a meh and a what. Craft without sense. 29-Nov-2023

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Baby Wrecks, Chemistry, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Creepy, Director Movement, Fun, Good Acting, Horror, Music Swings, Mystery, Sentimental, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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29-Nov-2023


65 (2023) Arf

Dinosaurs are tired, saving a girl that can take care of herself is trope and the science fiction wasn't specifically satisfactory. How many bullets does that one gun have? Why did the girl use all of the bombs? The dinosaurs are typical with little variation. There isn't much more that film can say or do about/to dinosaurs. We know everything. Most action sequences placed me in another's movie with no respect for originality yet it struck as a future cult film. 09-Jul-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Coincidence Laden, Corn, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Horror, Relationships, SciFi, Star Watt, Suspense, Vague, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

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09-Jul-2023


Fright (1971) Arf

It predated classics that trumped it. It was a template for the future. It was also a piece of junk. It was a film full of ideas that had to bombastically announce them. Michael Myers lived in a multi-verse where Laurie Strode "is" his sister. He kidnaps her, a baby, rapes her in front of the child and recoils until he's horny again. Did she give birth to Michael Myers, Jr. from multi-verse Halloweens? There was a glimmer of Joker's "dance with the devil" choreography. It made babysitting a shitty job. The privileged are forced to hire child haters. The child was adorable even when being manhandled by all sorts of creepy adults. The house is where you want to film it, Susan George didn't need to act and everybody needed to tone it down. 04-Jul-2023

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Cheeky Acting, Coincidence Laden, Crapfun, Director Experiment, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Loud, Over the Top, Revenge, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Trashy, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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04-Jul-2023


Antman & The Wasp: Quantumania (2023) Whimper

Cuteness and self congratulations does not befit these superpowered saviors. It rehashes helicopter dad and rebellious vigilante super daughter, predictably and unattached. Paul Rudd looked confused. The daughter misses being a good thing because she is stereotyped. MODOK looked like a badly stretched photo. The Quantum Realm was a mishmash of background paintings with no movement or the dulcet tones of Bob Ross. The inhabitants are the rejected drawings of cantina ideas for all the Star Wars films. The director applied the cutesies to an alien slime that cutely spoke. Good job actor, but there is nothing cute about talking jello. Pfeiffer tackled her heroism with gusto even though the words sounded exhausted. Chemistry was beginning to form between her and Kang. They should have played that out as a Part 1. The support was alert but there was too much realm and rah rah rah. The purpose of this pilot movie was to introduce Kang so it can comfortably occupy more room in the tie-ins. Majors hits all the right notes but Kang is underwritten and easily beaten. 18-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Cold, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Repetitive, SciFi, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Writer Weakness

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18-May-2023


Smile (2022) Whimper

If you want your black fiancee to dump you, seek comfort with your adorable ex whose a cop and explain to him that you are not mentally ill but cursed. Parker Posey and Hillary Swank's niece pants as much as she talks in the role of a useless psychoanalyst. It avoids the psychic explanation but grants us a hooey mythology. The smile is irrelevant. It's a wink to Joker's laugh gas. The kid's party had me rolling, the mother turning into a drag queen was unexpected but the juju was preposterous. 24-Feb-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Daddy Squish, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Timid, Weird

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24-Feb-2023


Halloween Ends (2022) Bites

I hope so. Besides the original two, no one has added anything fresh, stimulating or artistic. Michael is psychic now. He can tell when someone's been bad to children, like Santa Claus. They gave Laurie white guilt because she is responsible for unleashing all the serial killers in our community. It felt equivalent to hanging Carroll O'Connor for his amazing portrayal of a bigot. Laurie's feminism got softened. She sets up her granddaughter, that almost got killed by the most famous serial killer ever, with a date that served time for maybe killing a child. Yeah, the kid died. Worst parent ever. Why couldn't they meet on their own without Laurie's instincts being seniled? Absolutely not, you are never leaving this house until that psycho is off the streets! That would have been enough fury to unleash a psycho. Corey's idea of a possible serial killer is smiling like he's auditioning for The Dark Knight: The Joker Reborn. An animated feature. I wished the psychos in my life were that funny. Giving Corey a storyline was a stall tactic because they didn't know how to end it. It's been so long that they forgot the purpose. It mistook the original as schlock entertainment and served it as such. What stood out in the original was the images, hand magic, ideas and symbolism. Awesome music is ingrained, a mask and a scream queen born of Janet Leigh never hurt. Everyone deserved better. 02-Feb-2023

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Cold, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Political Satire, Retread, Tedium, Timid, Trashy, TV-like, Vague

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02-Feb-2023


Glass Onion (2022) Arf

Daniel Craig returns to torture southern accents and be a dork. Janelle Monae acted better with an accent but not so much as herself. She needs an injection of actor vulnerability. Kathryn Hahn is still a witch. I couldn't see Leslie Odom Jr. and Jessica Henwick through all that glass. Hollywood never took advantage that Kate Hudson is her mother's doppelganger. Bautista was full on daddy and Edward Norton deserves a comeback. Elements of the whodunnit were clever but the whole was overblown. 23-Dec-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Big, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Silly, Star Watt, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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23-Dec-2022


Hush (2016) Arf

It's a horror slasher that believes it shouldn't have to explain why a killer kills. He just does. It's a lack of opinion and a loss for art. A perspective from a person with capabilities would have created a nicer balance. Mask off created no tension or tingles. SPOILER ALERT: It wasn't Brad Pitt. The mask was more effective. All was slasher cohesion with no heart attacks. 20-Dec-2022

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Drama, Horror, Inactivity, Suspense, Thriller, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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20-Dec-2022


Candyman (2021) No Moons

Non-movie illustration of why "Oscar So White" is still so prevalent. Candyman is stripped of sensual ferocity, opinion and reason. His myth is re-written and implied by puppetry because the talent wasn't inspired to showcase it. The scares couldn't unhinge a cockroach. The deaths are remote with closeup shots of thick red Kool-aid. The violence is hesitant because most black people are petrified of supernatural violence. It scratches the ghetto but refuses to live in it because black people don't want to return there. Whites have gentrified the ghetto and blacks are mad as hell because they weren't given enough time to make their home livable. "Welfare knocked on my door before I had a chance to straighten up." "Bitch, you know white people can't watch good land go to waste." Blacks with dedication and drive enjoy the gentrified lifestyle while critiquing their hosts and avoiding the nasty parts of their neighborhood. This is all supposed to tie in with a confusing Candyman revenge backstory. The candy was uninspired. It should have looked scrumptious and colorful. It looked like granny's recycled Christmas candy. Only fat kids pick that shit up. It wasn't woke enough to have Colman Domingo fuck Candyman. The film required more gays so Candyman could kill the two. Too bad. In what world are there more cops in the neighborhood than community? 31-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Gay Swatch, Horror, Indecipherable, Political, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Retread, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Writer Weakness

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31-Jan-2022


Red Notice (2021) Woof

Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Adorable, Camp, Chemistry, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fresh, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Revenge, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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11-Jan-2022


Wasteland, The (2021) Bites

I can't identify with a child that wakes his parents up so daddy can walk him to the latrine which is terrifyingly one block away. To piss. Why didn't he just piss in any corner of the house except where mama hangs laundry? It debates whether parents should compromise a boy's sensitivity by forcing him to become a man if the times deem it necessary. It's a future where woke people are forced to eat animals named Fluffy to survive. Suicidal grandpa daddy grants himself an early reprieve by getting a conscious in between bouts of "I don't give a shit! and "I want to die!" Daddy did not deserve a vacation. Mother madness is spooky with minimal slaps and torture towards children. She did good with killing animals, though. I didn't understand it. "The monster is made of trees, branches and bad lighting, maybe. You imagined the whole thing. You're just like us. Nuts." The child riled us up but the director couldn't grant us a reason for any of it. 08-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Coincidence Laden, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Foreign: Spanish, Horror, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Wit Crack, Writer Weakness

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08-Jan-2022


He's All That (201) Whimper

Pleasant nothingness of youth. 06-Oct-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Corn, Drama, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Retread, Romance, Timid, TV-like, Twinkie

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06-Oct-2021




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