Men find that platonic friendships with other men 'emotionally rival' their romantic relationships with women, according to a study in Men and Masculinities.

Those surveyed said 'the lack of boundaries and judgment' in their friendships with other men resulted in 'elevated emotional stability, enhanced emotional disclosure, social fulfilment, and better conflict resolution, compared to the emotional lives they shared with girlfriends'.

Most of the participants answers to the survey also made reference to the fact they felt more like they could be their real self with their bros.

As one respondent said: "Tim knows I love listening to Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, but I keep that quiet [around my girlfriend] because she would judge me. I feel like I have to be more manly around her."

My husband and I (as well as our daughter, “Chloe”) moved to a new state about a year and a half ago. We live in an extremely White suburb that is surrounded by a large, non-White city. We wanted to live in the city, but the crime rate caused us to look elsewhere. As a result, everyone in our neighborhood is White. There are eight other children that live in our neighborhood that are around my daughter’s age (she’s 7). The first few months were great, and she was constantly going over to other kids’ houses to play or inviting them here. She was a little socially behind in our last town, so I was happy she had made friends. But then I started to notice that her friends were terribly racist, and after inviting the kids’ parents over for dinner … the parents are racist too. Not just microaggressions or an off-color joke (which would be bad enough by itself), but just full-on, blatant racism. Even my husband, who is from a small town that still has Klan activity, was shocked and appalled.

I don’t want my daughter spending time with these children. When the pandemic happened, we didn’t have to worry about it too much because no one was seeing anyone. But the neighborhood kids have started spending time together again (at a distance), and my daughter has been asking to go outside and play. The kids have also come and knocked on the door a few times asking for my daughter, but I made up an excuse. On the one hand, I don’t want to deprive my daughter of friends (she goes to an extremely small magnet school and isn’t really fitting in there, not to mention her classmates live 30-plus minutes away). On the other hand, I don’t want her to befriend racists! My daughter recently told me she had been feeling left out. What do I do?

—Not Raising a Racist

I am currently in the very shady shitty midst of a divorce. Our marriage ended for a lot of valid reasons (incompatibility, mutual depressions, denial, etc.) that truly don’t have much to do with the following bit of info. My husband had a very (very!) close friendship with a female mutual friend of ours. They’d been friends since childhood (20+ years) and she subsequently became a really good friend of mine in the 10 years of our relationship. BUT in the last eight months of my marriage they engaged in an “emotional affair.” It was very unsubtly inappropriate and disrespectful. The extent of which I may never fully know because, they, obviously, both turned out to be disappointing, dishonest, and shitty people.

He moved in with her (sorry, “rented a room” from her) six weeks after we decided to end our marriage and now three months later is in a public relationship with her. This has been a fully awful and emotionally devastating experience for me. I’ve been heartbroken, angry, humiliated, stressed the fuck out.

My actual question revolves around how I can express my feelings about this devious gash. My husband will pay (a fucking lot) in our divorce settlement, and he has enough self-awareness to know he is a bad man and a miserable shit. His personal shame kind of settles my animosity towards him.

But her! I am a sex positive person who is pro-sex-work and loudly disparages people who attempt to besmirch strippers, porn actors, or prostitutes. YET, all I want to do is call this dumb bitch a stupid whore. Ditsy hoe. Dirty slizz. Etc.

How can I reconcile my feminism with my need to hate on this horrid bitch? Especially since now that I am single af, I am ‘bout to hit up all the dick?

Signed,

Not So Feminist

Dear Amy: My wife and I have been happily married for over 20 years. We have a question about how to handle an issue with some friends of ours. “Jake” is 56 and “Lucy” is 52. My wife and I are 50 and 53.

Both Jake and Lucy are getting divorced after having been married to their exes for over 25 years each. (Jake had a very poor sex life during his marriage.)

Jake and Lucy have been dating for a couple of months now. They are very into each other. My wife and I think this is great, but we are both uncomfortable with their behavior.

Another problem is that they are all over each other like slutty teenagers in public. It gets even worse when the four of us are hanging out in our backyard.

We totally support public displays of affection when done with class, but we draw the line at borderline sex acts in our kitchen right in front of us — when the four of us are conversing over a bottle of wine. PDAs should always be classy, and not gross and slutty.

Do you have any advice on how to politely ask Jake and Lucy to cut out the pornography and set some limits on what are appropriate actions when they are together in our presence?

Blinded by the Sight

Earlier this month, Wisdom Health Genetics, a leading pet genetics company and maker of Wisdom Panel dog DNA tests, released the results of its 2020 Pet Census survey, painting an up-to-date picture of human-pet connections.

Over 13,000 pet owners participated in the survey, accounting for about 25,000 dogs and 6,000 cats.

One notable finding in the census is that the majority of pup parents — 72 percent, to be exact — admitted to canceling social plans simply to spend time with their four-legged pal. For cat owners, that total was 32 percent.

Proving animals are just as much part of the family as any human, 64 percent of pet owners said they view their dog or cat as a child or family member.

Q. My boyfriend is in a co-dependent relationship with his sister: My good friend “Mary” set me up with her brother “Jim” in January, when he moved in with her from out of state. We’ve been dating ever since. While Mary was happy for us, she was sad to not have a partner herself. So when Jim told me in March that he was going to prioritize her feelings because she was having a hard time, I understood. (By that time we were a “pod” of three, and being the third wheel can be rough.) Initially, their close sibling friendship seemed nice. But then Mary got possessive. She told me privately that they had fulfilled the emotional role of romantic partners for each other for years. She said she saw me as “the other woman.” At one point Mary asked Jim to stop texting me in the evenings so he could be more “present” when he was with her. Jim agreed that her behavior was unreasonable but said he didn’t want to change too much because Mary was struggling emotionally. Mary is in therapy and told me recently that we both need to stop making Jim “responsible” for our feelings. But I don’t think I have! I felt hurt and unsupported in the spring. I want to be compassionate toward Mary. But I suspect she and my boyfriend are co-dependent, and I want it to stop. What should I do? Or am I being selfish and I need to work on being empathetic toward my friend, who is lonely, and her brother, who is trying to support her?

DEAR ABBY: I have a serious issue with my best girlfriend. We make plans together, adult plans, and then at the last minute, her kids drop the young grandkids off for her to babysit, curtailing any plans we have together. The past few times, we have changed our plans to a “kids” activity.

I have an extremely busy client load, and I’m losing income by accommodating my friend’s time constraints, which revolve around making her husband’s lunch and dinner. Although I’m single now (I am a widow), I do understand why she has her priorities. If her grandkids are there when we have plans, she asks me to pick them up fast food on the way over — on my dime.

I have kids and grandkids myself, and they are important to me. I’m tired of being held hostage by her adult children who I feel are using her and taking advantage of the “drop-in day care” with Nana. How can I talk to her about our time being important, too? I have intentionally NOT made plans with my grandkids if she and I have plans, and I would love some reciprocity. — THROWN UNDER THE BUS