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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Depressing'
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Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999) 
I went retro and revisited some films that weren't to my liking. If it weren't for Lucas magic this film would be one of the worst. The child. Poor thing. No training, no soul. I would have skipped to the Superboy years one second after the awesome pod race. Liam Neeson didn't seem taken by the force. The words meant nothing to him. It was a job. MacGregor's head moved stiffly and he looked like he cracked up before and after many line readings. Jar Jar Binks was created by party people with no exceeding limits. I watched him drunk and still found him annoying. Natalie Portman must have looked blankly at countless fake CGI things because she applied it to humans as well. The voice she inflected was cockamamie and infectious. Yoda isn't as cute as The Child. At all. Blathering old idiot. Robes don't flow in saber fights and future love relations are not impactful if one babysat the other. The director worked beyond the force. The fans publicly cheered while quietly sighing. Darth Maul was a pocket. It makes a good game but not a good film. 02-Feb-2021
Alice Through The Looking Glass (2016)
Alice trips that she's a pirate, the savior of the unrighteous (Mad Hatter) and a liberated heroine. Hahahahahahahahah. 18-Jan-2021
Rabid family holiday. Foster's mind is a jumble. Flamboyantly directed, fussed over and disrespected. Robert Downey Jr.'s gay brother flitted about like a crazed woodpecker perching and flapping uncontrollably to our discomfort and limited endurance. Giving a cute girl the sniffles for the entirety of a film is not romantic or sexy. It's a family home visit without the drinks. Where's the fun in that? 05-Dec-2020
The original was about mean queens celebrating a birthday whilst eviscerating each other. The remake tones down the queen and ups the hostility and humiliation. This is a most difficult success story to digest. Jim Parsons gobbles it up like it's the last dick he's gonna suck, Charlie Carver gets to squirt but not emote, Matt Bomer exhibited his ass and it was riveting and Zachary Quinto wore an afro sheen wig. It all isn't nicety and rainbows in our community and it elaborates on it without resolving it. The black band member did not walk out when his friend uttered the "n" word towards him and he didn't walk out when he sang it to him a second time. Friends do not call each other that. It would be over. This is where you insert daddy Ryan's skewered politically correct irrationality and award a character some self-respect. It depicts the hellish parts of the gay community that is always shining in the dark and slams your head against the wall with it. 01-Oct-2020