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All Posts Tagged as 'Slow'
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My Adventures With Superman (2023-) 
Drinking half and half with my coffee. Its goofy flavor detracts from a robust finish. 09-Sep-2026
I have no idea why it's titled that. Children roasted on a campfire? Awkward boy is coerced into Summer Camp and is assigned his bully as the only roommate. It was the parents idea. WTF? Did that adult counselor flirt with an underage girl in a bathing suit? A campfire tale turns true for a hero that dreams of water overconsumption and death. More than halfway through I thought to skip it but I wanted to know how the collage of badly executed frights added up. It had a great ending whose road to it was cracked. 18-Aug-2026
City brothers of competitive ages move to a quiet town that hides mysteries only weird folk encounter. Performers were alert and the mystery was intriguing. Not all holes need to be explored. I got that. Scares were correct but limited. The kids acted accordingly and the mythology was promising. I didn't understand why someone's personal nightmare interfered with others. The clown puppet gave me chills when it connected to childhood fears but it disconnected as soon as it got personal. Dante of any kind is a childlike adventure, Dante restrained is a child crying for help and Dante unleashed is a mad genius. 12-Aug-2026
A daughter cares for her comatose mother whilst hosting a mystery show that entices viewers with myths and facts. The premise only works if the source of the terror (the show) weren't so basic. I could not concoct the visuals necessary to instill fear from the audio presented. Video might have fixed that. Bumps in the night and sleight of hand make up the scares. The film was working towards authenticity but missed being that by not allowing the actors to work for it. When mama falls off the bed daughter is shown off camera helping her back. I wanted to see the struggle of an actor turning a thought into an action. It would have been inspiring. Nina Kiri carries the weight of the film because the support was invisible. Someone needed to physically free her of the constraints. The crust was decent but the pie not so much. 07-Jul-2026
S1E8. The Spider is a bumbler whose superpowers lack hutzpah and is usually beaten to a pulp. Black Cat is just a chick called Cat that doesn't even own one or scratches. Why didn't someone throw water on Electro? Sir Nic and Gleeson provided gravitas. The excuses to avoid action were obvious and disappointing. 05-Jun-2026
S1E3. The series is handsome and gets little wrong but I don't look forward to watching it. TV comic book adaptations are limited by a lack of scope. Hours of talk for a dash of action. Stitching gangster cliches for credence is window dressing. Bewitched was more dedicated to action than the current most. Even when the effects ended up crappy, the artists learned from them and moved on. They never quit. 02-Jun-2026
It was perplexing, had a home-schooled child mentality and the whole started to feel tiresome. The legends jumped into a rabbit hole that's endless and repetitive. I expected something different. 26-May-2026
Minorities walk in white men's shoes without stamping their own soul into them. Adding diversity should have abetted the clash and turned the whole shebang upside down but no one dared. The camera lingered on things that didn't resonate because of repetition. Simon's story was its most riveting and the least thought out. There was obvious sexual tension between him and Jack yet we go through a diary adventure that says very little. Jack's metamorphosis is not based on anything except being a spoiled brat and not a homophobic cunt. Everything has a reason and things that don't aren't because we can't accept them. The flashbacks bored with common words and little attention. The plane crash was a blip whose recreation would have added much suspense and adventure. It would have also added depth to the characters. Why did some kids appear immaculately dressed after the crash? Survival skills were minimal. It was environmentally ignorant. There was no wildlife exploration or fascination. After the hunt there was no explanation on how the kids cut the thing up and cooked it. I wanted to know. If a fire took a chunk of the forest why didn't the kids have to travel to find new fruit? Why did nobody fish? Sharks, anybody? No one got sick? The boys wrecked like Anthony Hopkins and it was exquisite. Piggy was an old soul, Jack was savage, Simon was haunting and Ralph was blackish. The shots were panoramic and eloquent. The island mystery was ripe for a switch but it didn't happen. The ending was a disappointing burp. It was gas all along. 10-May-2026
The actors had to fill the spaces the script left out. A combination of the two would have made the film unforgettable. A writer/director tries to make peace with the two daughters he left behind. Recompense for their mother dying. Daddy has a script and a history he wants to make up for and he wants his eldest to act in it. The daughter is a stage actress whose father never ventured to watch her. Him hating live theatre felt unfit. Films and audiences are found in theaters as well. Artists gobble all types of art so they can better understand their own. Though the sentiments and emotions are clear the happenings are not. Performances were raw, experimental and beautiful. The film is quiet, ponderous and proficient but I couldn't find its pulse. 24-Mar-2026
Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (2023-)
S1. Monsters were scarce and sometimes their sequences were repetitive. A fine cast grows tiresome because their feelings shift as much as their location, the script doesn't explore what is the crux of the matter but keeps repeating the same question and they have no home-base for the audience to revisit or remember fondly. Are Cate and May destined for love? They are always holding hands. Sucks for the brother but intriguing for the show. There are no reasons to understand what Monarch's intentions are. Why doesn't anybody ever really die? Son looks just like daddy and it's entertaining to watch them as each other. More monsters or more exciting plot points, please. 17-Mar-2026
The camera substituting for the presence was a great idea. It unsettles whilst causing anticipation. The household consists of interracial parents having preference for their teenage son and or daughter. The gender divide was lightly explained and suffered from awkward dialogue that did not strengthen character purpose. The scares were organic but weren't enough to create a classic horror. The presence has no I.D. It meanders slowly on repetitive angst but it doesn't get to the heart of it. It was drama. The no character close-ups put me on edge. If they would have only added them for the climax it would have jumpstarted some fear. It was curious, well acted, unique and experimental. The ending fit. It was the middle that sabotaged it. 06-Jan-2026
Fantastic Four: First Steps (2025)
Thing's eyes got lost under heavy make-up and his mouth movements were hesitant. The beard. I didn't know bricks can grow hair? Fantastic held back. Torch had no life. Very little reminded me of the 60s. Sue Storm's hair was droopy instead of groovy. The baby plot line needed work and Shala-Bal didn't amaze or intimidate. They didn't sprinkle the magic evenly. It was a countdown to a finale that didn't deliver fantastic. Galactus was robbed. Supe capabilities were constrained. 06-Nov-2025
The ritual that is supposed to bring one back from the dead is in another language that is not translated until the end. Well, then why the fuck did it take so long? Unbalanced mother inherits 2 siblings, a hormonal teenager with wet problems and a mostly blind baby sister that has a need to be acknowledged. Boy wants to run with his sister but in 3 months he can do it legally. He just needs to put up with his foster mother's psychosis. The atmosphere is constantly tight. The actors delivered more than the script gave them. Gross is not a metaphor for fright, the ritual is not logical, the actions are less so, I didn't understand Ollie's diet and I didn't appreciate all the red. 28-Oct-2025
I was not familiar with Nosferatu folklore. Couldn't finish the silent film because the romanticism got lost when they made Dracula a hideous monster. The reason Count can appear human is because he's a metaphor for the monsters living inside of us. Ugly things are not tempting or worth filming. The original movie caused a stir for being a direct knock-off of Dracula. They were supposed to burn every copy but some assholes from the future salvaged them. Having to learn new character names fucked with my memorization. Renfield has always irritated me. Every iteration of him is nasty and nuts. Maybe a female Renfield would benefit the mythology. She can crush on the Count, serve him, become jealous and overprotective esp. when he meets Mina or Lucy or whatever name changes already existed. I'd make her a witch. The mood and an obsession created a shadow atmosphere with no soul or action to back it up. Why did they make Lilly Rose look like that? She looked ready to churn butter. Adding more mumbo jumbo destroyed what the original carefully invented. The added myths are cheats with no thought process. The director diluted hunky man hotness. My ears started ringing when I heard Skarsgard's accent. Why was he speaking so slow? To fill space? Skarsgard is all monster and no personality. Covering aspects of what makes an actor shine is blasphemous. It could have been Alexa voicing it because I never felt Skarsgard's presence. He buried himself inside the character. The foretelling was exhausting. Why tell us what's going to happen next? Be quiet and show us. The shadows in Eggers art overlapped the humans creating them. 01-Jul-2025
A film that didn't take advantage of all its possibilities. Though songs that didn't suck were beautifully sung the characters were flat like paper. An elimination of half the songs would have opened space to delve into Snow White and the Queen's relationship. I would have changed fairest and explored kingdom popularity. Gadot's character is doomed the moment the narrator emphasized how evil she was. She was misdirected and stifled when her natural accent would have added mystery to her persona. It also would have freed Gadot. The evil was basic and child's play. My favorite scene from the classic animation was the run through the forest. The 3D effect was mind tripping. A live recreation would have added much needed magic. If you're going to CGI the dwarves why make them ugly? They missed out on likeness and adorability. I would have nixed the "merry men" and concentrated on the ladies, dwarves and huntsman. She could've fallen in love with the huntsman instead of a merry man. Zegler comes alive when she sings but is immobile in expression. She's so intent on conveying a message instead of embodying a legend that she lends her character nothing. The climax disappoints because it doesn't really have one. It goes out with a whimper. I came up with at least 5 grand finales, including having the huntsman kill the Queen with an acquired weapon that is magical because she is invulnerable to everything else. The hope for greatness ballooned and imploded and they didn't know how to put the pieces back together. 29-Jun-2025
The wait for resolution is interminable. Channing Tatum didn't menace enough. Naomi Ackie seemed too woke to fall for a Peter Pan man. It would have been fresh if the girls had just said "no" to the leery invitation to a private island with no transportation back. Peter would have to arrange a deceitful method to get them there. That's menacing. A beautiful palette and luscious atmosphere held the key to my interest but when the climax happens its a compilation of memes that spoke volumes and represented very little. It's a harsh topic that needed to play out so the audience can understand the reasons people do anything. 29-Jan-2025
