The film epitomizes what Hollywood has become. Every hand must be held and head patted, no matter their importance. New and shit are not synonymous with good. Someone put something in their drinks because they were wheezing in and out of accents and it was 100% contagious. It was a Gucci movie made by Soviets. None of the Italian performers generated a complaint that their families didn't sound like that? Gaga clutches her star watt with brilliance, outrageousness and hysterics. Ridley Scott found his niche, upgrading a Wayans production to mastery. 13-May-2022

Interracial girl struggles with her identity as a negro. Her career options are minimal and love opportunities arise from worst circumstances. God made her white and she needs to embrace it. She leaves her family and hut to explore buildings, money, pretty men, clothes, food and such. She ignores her nature and becomes the body she possesses, a woman with great choices and big mistakes. A Ken Doll makes her forget where she was born and she forgets about her family. The film has anger, insight, respect and hilarity. My favorite scene happens at a fancy business event where she dances like a black girl and the white guests notice. 28-Apr-2022

The washed up male porn star with a huge dick cliche. His 14" cock was the ladder that should have saved the world. John Holmes was a porn king who sold his soul to the devil to continue to do drugs and have sex. John Holmes was either the mastermind that plotted the worst heist of his life or he was really dumb. Baby Kate Bosworth was a great young innocent in love with the aura of a "man." Lisa Kudrow was Beatrice Straight from Network. Underwritten, marvelous and powerful. She didn't flinch. Val Kilmer softens the big cock brute by being genuine. The reenactments of what occurred that fateful night raced to a satisfying conclusion. 04-Apr-2022

Like Batman I focused on a minor detail that should have gotten someone fired and the picture burnt. Ms. Crawford's leg looks beat up. Is it make-up? Is it black nail polish? Did she fall down a flight of stairs? Are those surgery scars? Is that why she's sitting? Was she secretly dirty? It looks awful. 14-Mar-2022

Blindman wants to remain a dot, raising a stolen daughter, being stealthy and 100% sexless when it should be the opposite. Pervert! The child gets to choose the lesser of two evils. That's not fair. We get to know who the asshole is before the mystery begins. The clues to existence are ludicrous. Daddy's fun, kid has moments, all is a statement of life insecurity, terror and failure. The violence is pretty good. 12-Mar-2022

Apt sequel that glamorizes its predecessor and makes Leatherface a hero. It's a chill, spook and gay spectacular. 06-Mar-2022

Scripting black people to complain about cops and confederate flags is not thoughtful. Killing all the black actors anyway, is not giving a shit. Making me confused about female sexuality is a useless gay time thing. Leatherface is nothing without family dependability. He was the icing on the family cake. A family that celebrated meat, farming and death. Icing without cake is a blob. 22-Feb-2022

The inestimable is the most hurtful. Brian Bonsall played Mikey, a throwaway child with trust, jealousy and psychotic issues. The actor had the smarts of an adult aware of its value. Everyone loves "new" adorable thing until it becomes codependent and angry. The conversations are the same as today, which freaked me out. "We're still talking about the same shit with the non-resolutions." Mikey is presented as an adoptive boy trying to adjust to a family that has suddenly enforced rules. They must die, the most inept investigators can't solve it and adorable little Mikey is psychoanalyzed for PTSD after secretly killing them. The psychiatrist frees him into the adoption system with an "all he needs is love" diagnosis and Mikey moves on to the next stupid family. Mikey has learned that electricity and water don't mix, you can hit real balls with bats, cops can't solve anything, mothers just stand there screaming while you're stabbing them to death and to remove the bullets from adult guns and disconnect their phones so they can't fight back. Empty guns waving in the dark. Elementary school sports training consisted of coaches deciding which boy would be a "skin" or a "shirt" for no apparent reason other than to be a pervert. Telling certain kids and not others to strip is insulting and absolutely gay. His favorite teacher becomes suspicious of the boy's monstrous tendencies when he adds marbles to her "marble game." A box is designated for the kids to drop marbles they earn for good deeds. The more marbles of goodness you inherit the quicker you can fill it so its doors burst open and you can receive a prize. She investigates his history but his adoption file is closed and the witnesses are minimal. There is no living thing that is safe when Mikey gets pissed. Will he spare no one? Kids dragging adult dead bodies, killing cats, feeding frogs to sharks, setting up the boyfriend and using a bow and arrow to kill are hilarious. Everything looks TV safe and appealing, the deaths are LOL and Bonsall keeps on giving. He is the conservative cunt that arises when successful families keep pushing the same subject without advancing. Mikey is the child liberated from bullshit. Baby boy is my new "Carrie."

PS: dudes, if she wants childrenx and you don't, show her this movie. Repeated viewing depends on her voracity for children and disdain for the film. Keep it downlow. We don't want to damage her. Keep it stealthily in the background and don't stop watching it. Make it a top ten of all time. Yeah, it's crap but its better than having a baby. 21-Feb-2022

Venom is nothing without that spider boy splitting his ass in half. How fortunate that Tom Hardy has a dick-breaking ass. Venom's and Tom's duality don't combine. There are attempts to bring them together but talking to green screens is all it is. I imagined a wraparound as opposed to a pop out. I was aghast at how youthful and beautiful Mira Sorvino looked then realized with humiliation that it was Michelle Williams. Michelle got rid of the haughty accents, loosens up and shakes her sourpuss. Reid Scott was a supportive adorable dunce. I thought Stephen Graham was a Walhlberg doing a bad imitation of a better Wahlberg. Woody Harrelson was channeling an old white woman from the 1950's out on her last stroll. Go nuts, daddy! The film has no purpose except to destroy and sell but it has stupid entertainment value. I liked Asian Venom, they gave us a hint at Lady Venom and didn't dare realize a Drag Queen Venom. Why not? 07-Jan-2022

Someone thought that realizing one of the most horrifying fairy tales to live film was a whimsical idea. The director wastes little time on magic and spends most of it on ugliness. He realized all the threats in a boy's life and all the insanity of the myth. A boy that really isn't a boy is considered a genderless fuck opportunity. Pedos prefer gender non-specific children because it's the baby smell they're after. Pinocchio is the perfect victim. Unique, beautiful, stupid, excited, rebellious and cooperative. The puppet gets enslaved, murdered, robbed, betrayed, hated, abused and exploited. Pinocchio cannot become a boy because his ADD doesn't allow him to sit still long enough to accept love and he's kind of an asshole. I'd be an asshole too if I were created to give hugs and tickles to ugly men. Oops, I was! The director rushes through plot points and changes nothing to make the ordeal acceptable. Why does wood eat? Why doesn't he rust or flake? What is the fairy's deal? His growing nose is a hard-on, not a lie. Jiminy Cricket sucked. It's a horror movie. Becoming a boy only grants him a hole. The world around him still sucks. 29-Dec-2021

I exited before any more of my brain cells died. Not all geniuses are meant to portray geniuses. Nicole doesn't squeak enough or husk enough. She couldn't pick an accent from Lucy's bountiful history to make us believe she was Lucille Ball. Nicole is an Australian model failing as a moll bride. Lucy cracked and she bellowed. Ridiculousness was her class and experience was her wisdom. Nicole understood neither. Javier may be a fuckable specimen on his own accord but Desi wasn't that heavily accented or pitiable. Daddy needed some voodoo guidance. Aaron Sorkin placed the blame on Lucy. Fuck you! 22-Dec-2021

Boy genius, pal robot and single mom move to a new town. Boy makes friends, robot becomes creepy but boy finds "where his heart ought to be." Bullies, pranks, killings and deaths erase his best friend and "where his heart ought to be." He puts the robot chip into girl brain and revives her, except "where his heart ought to be" is hollow. She is overprotective, wifed and destructive. There is no balance as to which mentality is winning. She's a killer robot. The movie's charms outweighed its incomprehension. Anne Ramsey rained Halloween as a tormented neighbor who hated everybody. Matthew Laborteaux kept things hairy. Kristy Swanson kept things calm. Wes Craven signed it. The basketball was everything. It's stupid trash with enough bits of imagination to create enjoyment. 20-Oct-2021

Latino violates fancy woman in front of her uppity husband. Fancy woman lets her guard down and enjoys it. Male toxicity ensues. Several accounts of the rape and murder are presented. Paul Newman was a distraction as a blue-eyed Mexican bandit, with a hulk wig, "grande" dick, grease paint and an "I hate gringos" accent. Most of the actors didn't conquer southern speech. Capt. Kirk played a priest that spoke words as if Shakespeare had written them specifically for him. All the versions add up to a hilarious finale that shouldn't have been. 12-Oct-2021

Teen lesbians break up after the other moves to a better town and starts hooking up with boys. A jealous and violent prank accidentally disrupts a force that sends undead serial killers to obliterate them. The director has ballsy energy and the kids read well. It pays homage to the slasher film while making the violence more palpable and incorporating lots of baby kickass fun. 02-Jul-2021

8 minutes with latina amazons, driving in a car, where daughter aspyhxiates the family by providing no a/c or open windows. Daughter instigates a fight with a customer when they stop at a convenience store and sister's baby gets slapped. Girl fight with a concentration on boob damage. 02-Jul-2021