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TV Posts Tagged as 'Wig Crack'

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Perfect Match (2023-) Arf

Hot diggity damn, Nick! Full shots of hunky men sitting in shorts while confessing, was priceless. Nick was naughty. Jess is so independent that she can raise her daughter without ever being seen. Harry. Why do men always have to explain themselves? Harry kept repeating Jess' daughter's name like he knew her for years so she would believe him and fall in love. "Jess, fuck his brains out until he can't walk but do not bring him home." All Harry wants is a luxurious leg massage and to be reminded of how beautiful they are. The men stood up for themselves by being quiet. The girls fought amongst their own with no perfect match to support them. When Kaz decided to sample, I understood his psychology. He belongs to everyone. Perfect match should see him alone at toga parties. The blonde with the tresses and the big eyes looks like Emma Stone. Prince Eric's mindset lacked etiquette and consideration. A shark. Izzy did his best. He sort of memorized the producer's script and there were cue cards everywhere he looked but dude couldn't stop being awkward. I still dig the face. 15-Jun-2024
I always returned G.I. Joe Kaz to his manly state. Even though I washed the make-up off there were shadows. The moment Pazuzu noticed, G.I. Joe Kaz mysteriously disappeared. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2-5. Harry was not stirring my pot until I noticed his thigh to leg ratio. I boiled, my lid began to shake, float and rise. I noticed that there was a lot of that. It almost repaired my soul. When Jessica confessed to having a child, Harry asked where she was. Exactly! We've seen more of Jessica than her daughter has. Prince Eric from an off-broadway production of The Little Mermaid was returned to sea many times but somebody always rescued him. Fuck, I'd probably rescue him too if he didn't talk. I will ask no questions before night, night and I need to call him Eric. The sea is full of mermaids. My other G.I. Joe doll looked like Kaz. He was a soldier in green combats. I tore up his uniform, created a wig out of his undershirt, painted his face and made G.I. Joe Nick fuck the shit out of him. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2. Ack! 08-Jun-2024
S2E1. We don't watch Izzy because of the way he talks, we just want to lick him and squish him. Izzy hooked up with a goddess, it took him 23 minutes to finish. He spent at least 20 minutes in the bathroom and three minutes convincing her it would be good for her career. Nick almost lifted his skirt. Thighs for a later episode? Boy, he's got some daddy legs. Nice. He looked like one of the G.I. Joes I played with as a kid but shinier. Some cocky dink bragged that he was gifted a cookie for providing a great fuck. Dude, I got a whole house and did nothing! Stevan's tattoos were more aggressive than he was. The soft boys were being traded for angry chokesters they can't control. Women have permission to be promiscuous if they sign off on it. 08-Jun-2024
Something tells me that most of the men and half the women, would have found a perfect match had they cloned Francesca. Abbey decided to strip the thighmaster of his crown and knight him a dick. 02-Mar-2023
A questionable sex partner sort of dumped Francesca. Yippee! He did it so he could stay and torture the fuck out of the man inside her. In the last aired episode he shaved his body to look more like a bitch. A gorgeous virgin who promises sex only in marriage is mandating that a partner suffer poor sex for the rest of their lives. He's not a lover, he's your brother. 24-Feb-2023
They should give camera people a special award for rewarding viewers with juicy thigh shots. The party started as soon as the Thigh King twitched in his shorts. They were everywhere. I haven't caught up yet but I hope somebody dumps Francesca. All she's doing is trying on different dicks. Like they were dresses at a bargain basement store. That poor sad flat black boy. 22-Feb-2023

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Over the Top, Relationships, Sex, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wig Crack

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15-Jun-2024


Ultimatum: South Africa (2024-) Arf

I don't know if the individuals were breaking the rules or there were none. By episode 3 almost all the strangers hooked up, in one way or another. Some went all the way and others were inconclusive. One girlfriend cheated because she couldn't feel her husband's penis inside her. TG she found a cocky asshole to fill her side panels. Their partners were embarrassed and gaslighted. The white couple seemed out of sorts. She probably had a fantasy of trying a black man that he went along with because it stalled marrying her. She partnered with a horny boy who kept begging for it. White boy was partnered with a sad woman that had no idea why her boyfriend was enjoying the experience and lying about it whilst she was stuck with a white boy. The goldigger had every reason to want a real man with money and the men had every right to dump her. Men ask that a woman be respectful, a cook, attentive, a womb, a slut and someone that believes everything he tells her. They want to impregnate them so they can enjoy, at least, six months of guilt-free cheating because they need to fuck and they don't want to hurt the baby. I imagined Nick stuttering and Vanessa fainting at the reunion. It would have been hilarious. Book them tickets! 15-May-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Lifestyle, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, World

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16-May-2024


Love Is Blind (2020-) Howl

Reunion. I know Izzy was there so I could mentally lick him from head to toe and tongue the thing that he finds so interesting in his mouth. Every time Clay talked I wished they had cut to Izzy. I think his therapy was acting classes. He was a Shakespearean ham. If he really tried psychotherapy, I want proof. Show us how many anti-psychotic meds they prescribed. Jimmy got dragged because he can't tell time, has a big dick, awesome teeth and tells women the truth. Geez, does that mother spend any time with her daughter? Dude, what happened to You? He looks like his pregnant wife. Nick cleared the Lacheys from any liability. The reason that they failed at marriage isn't the Lacheys fault. The contestants' parents suck. Clay and the other homeless got to eat one more free meal before sex begging for future dinners. 13-Mar-2024
What part of "I'm engaged to a dick" did AD not understand? The latina has no idea what it's going to be like to share a blue eyed baby maker with her friends. She might have to slash some tires. Jimmy's speech was arousing. I had a desire to squish his face and lick his teeth again. The only parts of a fairy tale that are true are the bad ones. It's immature to keep believing in them. 07-Mar-2024
Forget thighs, we've got some roasted turkeys this season. Nick, you sly dog you, for teaching married eeked out men that they too can enjoy life after blind marriage.

If we have to change so much to maintain a relationship, then what is the point of being ourselves? They should add acting classes to sex education. 23-Feb-2024
E6. Unless Nick Lachey does something drastic, like wear shorts or tights, thigh season is over. Meet and greet was made uncomfortable by three Razzie nominees. Not only was AD not Barbie, she wasn't even Barbie's black friend. Petite means childlike. How could she not understand the reference? Her intense desire to get married trumped it. Clay can recognize that she is beautiful but she doesn't fulfill his type. He played along because it's better than waiting for his mother's social security check to deposit and he gets to eat fine food in paradise for free with a bombshell woman that his dick wont easily glide into. At the reunion, AD lent all the men her flopping attention, pinpointed her fuck target as Chelsea noticed and put one on her. The most hilarious meet and greet happened to Jimmy, his car salesman pitch, sexy tone and granite (but squishy) conceit, made it obvious to the audience that he was displeased when he saw her. He stopped before sitting to look at the camera directly and threaten it. He lied and charmed but kept giving clues to the viewers that yes, I'm no prince either but I have smooth skin, a cheeky smile, some hair, squishiness, and a big fat dick. At the group honeymoon, Jimmy focused on AD's chest and wanted everybody to know it, but especially AD and his fiancee. The way he approached AD is probably the same way he approaches all scared women wherever he goes. The first red flag was his face because all you can say to it is "what a bad boy you are" and lick his teeth. Laura is the last nominee. She did better than the guys but her compliments flitted by and bit. During the honeymoon she insinuated that fiancee's penis was as big as a baby banana. He pretended not to hear her. I can't wait until she shares the anecdote with the group. If you use gorgeous and beautiful constantly as a description it loses its validity. It's also disingenuous. Jeramy might need evaluation. His immaturity is prepubescent. It looks like someone cheats. The Lacheys must do everything in their power to bring back thighs. Never tell your girlfriends about fiancee's dick. At least two will find it secretly tempting and doable. 17-Feb-2024
S6E1. I was starting to get worried. There were no man thighs worth motorboating. TG Trevor showed up and was appropriately dressed. He knows how to play the game. The male pods' temperature should always be much higher than the women's. Matthew has great talk but is pre-recorded. Clay asked AD to confirm she was a Barbie doll. That damn movie. 19-Oct-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

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13-Mar-2024


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)  Howl

A sissy charter boarded to incite havoc. Did Captain Sandy plant those dirty towels to force Tumi into authority? Kyle is either hopelessly in love or in big trouble. The new cast has not clicked yet so we give them a pass. Max complained about being underfed so the ladies tossed him in a salad and ate him alive. The man was trying to say, I can eat the same food everyday, if its good. If straight guys want to sexualize females, follow the gays. Sit and watch as they convince the women to do as "he" wants. Shouldn't security be investigating and shutting down a boat with more than one illness? I hope it wasn't the food. 07-Sep-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Crapfun, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Lesbian, LGBTQ, Political, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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25-Dec-2023


Firefly Lane (2021-2023) WoofUpgrade

Finale. The actors excelled at enriching the light fantasy with light reality. The conversations spoke, it kept the dynamics pumping and Johnny wore the worst wigs. It made my heart beat. The little engine that did. 11-May-2023
S2E10. It gave me everything I needed. 06-May-2023
A sweet dose of hospitality. 02-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Comfort Food, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Heartbreaking, Lesbian, Magnetism, Music Rocks, Pretty, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Special, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Wig Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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11-May-2023


Love Is Blind (2020) Howl

Reunion. Kwame was looking real fine tethered to his million dollar mink. Was the derogatory remark Marshall used on Jackie, "trans?" How lgbtq of him. Prop Bro You changed his looks but kept Joe's drawl. The gorgeous mad mane was replaced by chemicals that flattened their splendor. He squished a bigger body and he gained an intellectual's beard. He's either hiding his identity, ready to disappear or he's playing Joe's stuntman for the final season of You. Original Joe decided to channel Cuban Pete. All he needed was a sombrero and a set of bongos between his legs. I never realized how much insignificance he applies to the person that couldn't be ladylike. I wanted to be an earplug stuck on a couch listening to the Yous whispering:

OrgU: I'm losing it brother

ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)

OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe)

Slap!!!

Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!

The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023
S4E11. Prop Bro You hates strippers, especially unattractive ones. He usually eats them for lunch. When he was in the pool with Bliss he looked like he was imagining what parts of her he would fry first. If he were a serial killer that is. Chelsea kept acting the part even as a hairdresser burnt her hair. She's psychic too, like that pretty terrifying celebrity twink. She immediately pegged Kwame's sister because she was the only black woman to enter the bridal suite. 08-Apr-2023
S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023
S4E9. That lady Chelsea thinks that relationships are about being serviced. Kwame needs to fastball her. Marshall is petrified of vagina. Pretty eyes can't fuck. Jackelina, run! Zach is still property managing his You charisma. TG Bliss is desperate. If a man doesn't want to engage a partner in sex it's because he has an STD or doesn't have a knack for it. Dump. 07-Apr-2023
Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023
The women came to vamp and conquer men that will never satisfy them but hopefully, will keep them barefoot and pregnant with a ring on it. The feminist plan is to train men to lie about everything so the women can feel loved and acknowledged. A man will say anything to a woman for a steady prospective orgasm. It means less outside hookups, more money and lots of family time. The women turned the dating show into The Hunger Games because they hate other women. Hearing women fangirling to idiot things men make up, is disconcerting. The banter appeared read off a corny romance novel or movie, they memorized. When you swoon at bad singing you will regret it. Their were 2 Joes from You. One of them looked like an impassioned third Property Brother. The women that connived for them are not amused. Dude, Prop Bro is the hottest man there. It's okay. The contestants have realized that the purpose of the show is to get married and bear fucking children from all that they desire so they too can make regrettable choices in life. 15-Feb-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

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17-Apr-2023


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)  HowlDowngrade

When will men learn that women don't want to have kids with bald heads and hairy backs? It's off-putting, especially if they turn out to be girls. The only way to prove a gay steward a liar is to film it. Shouldn't the pronunciation of Mzi be Mitzy instead of Zee? The captain only popped out at opportune moments. Example: "the gay guy is going to call that nosey girl a bitch. Listen, wait, then pop out." I want to see the chef's eyes turn black when he's banging a chick. He has "You" type relationships with the boat, crew and that chief stew casserole. 17-Oct-2022
Deck Jason was belittled for confusing" being himself" with "honesty." 21-Sep-2022
The crew dressed like Guy Fieri and I didn't get it. Why the big boobs? A strange dick in a gay's mouth fixes his teeth but makes his job performance wonky. If a gay boy unzips in a woman's face it's not sexual harassment. If a strait man compliments a gay boy's ass it's an honor. Ex-new boyfriend of chief stew is worried that ex-new girlfriend is thinking of the chef's dick every time she sees him. He needs to helicopter in and remind her what a tasty dick looks like. The captain keeps seeing the same dirty spot after a few sips and not. Natalya snitched on her boss (not-twin) and stew Whoopsy. The captain called them pigs and Whoopsy exclaimed that Natalya had opened the fish market. What the hell is that? Is that a new gender? 12-Sep-2022
Lesbians in charge still can't incorporate a hot male crew member. Trust me, the sex jokes would be less offensive. Captain Sandy does not hit things when she has a few sips. A gay steward gets a tooth infection when there is no constant dick in his mouth. I can't tell those brunette stewards apart. If I were Captain Sandy I'd make one of them cut their hair. 15-Aug-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Crapfun, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Political, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Basic, Writ w/Possibilities

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17-Oct-2022


Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)  Woof

My 12 year old cocksucker swallowed Hades' cum and it tasted like a raspberry margarita. Pretty boys don't need to try as hard in relationships when set up with insecure mole faces. Hercules is not that hot because he smells like a chimp. Daniel did not pass the good dick test. The horse is ashamed to admit that she was set up with a fart. Al fixed his wife by shoving his Bizarro Colin Jost dick inside her. Married women who find solace prescribing pity to a newly single newlywed are sluts. 09-Jun-2022
Hades arises from his tomb to test humanity's tolerance for truth. A woman can only fathom a dream if a gay man concocts it. Man losing his hardon for a cultural thing is a real thing. He's bald Jerry, is no longer sexually gratifying his ick. Brent is sweet to make you fat and incapable of moving when he cleans you out. Al Perkins always looks surprised to fuck. He's prettier than a boy bander and is successful in bed. That's not possible! What is his crime? A giant ear bit texan should not have to explain himself to a pretend Hillary. Maybe he hates you because you're not doing Asian right not because he hates your culture. Hades set our dicks on fire. 06-May-2022
Season 6 was withheld from us because we are not mature enough to handle emotional failure. Hades and his coven interpret every relationship based on a fairytale and are genuinely horrified when reality proves it untrue. Hades unleashes romper terminators to seduce Ares and Hercules to ignite the audience and insult the wives. I could taste the master's lava. I threw up but didn't explode. 01-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Psychological, Reality, Romance, Scary, Star Watt, Sweet, Wig Crack, Words Spoke, Writ For Short Attn Spans

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09-Jun-2022


Stranger Things (2016 -) Full MoonDowngrade

If this were an enjoyable season I wouldn't have talked about their hair. The retro lab visit was every mythological idea the auteurs and their fan pages dreamed up during video chats. It met everywhere but the middle. Russian prison was an excuse to keep actors that can't stand each other apart. (The audience likes them together.) The prison chapter peaked when daddy shaved his hair. He won Best Hair. The extra stuff put me to sleep. Too much. 01-Jun-2022
S4E5. I was surprised how much I had forgotten and remembered. Old people don't have time to look back. There isn't much time. The hair is horrendous. A guaranteed 80's do is brushing it forwards, teasing it, spraying it and letting it go. Instant throwback art. El is a super dork with boy crushes, the token of leftwing communist bullying and delicate. She's a dehumanized weapon. Comicbook El would have found gifts of other strength to make her cope and conquer. Why would she become Carrie? Some of the characters were hard to bear. It zooms away from sense, piles for representation and exemplifies fandom exhaustion. The hair. Worst ever! 30-May-2022
PS: I spent most of the season wanting to comb everybody's messy hair. 08-Aug-2019
The magic dissipated in #3 but unity, bromance, and a pulverizing ending held it up. 06-Aug-2019
#2 gratified every sense with throb and tenderness. 29-Nov-2017
There can't be much to disconcert when with every dedication and homage you are dealt original cards with likeable imprinted players and a perplexing with soul reflexing game.

Wynona is unwavering in motherhood vs sanity as David Harbour is papa Bear strength. The kids are inherent, funny and affecting. Millie Bobbi Brown is tasked with conveyance of eye speak and she handles it beautifully.

Success is achieved through inspiration not impersonation. 29-Aug-2016

Tags: 2010s, Action, Beautiful, Classic, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Cute, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Overcooked, Sci-Fi, Special, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tedium, Tired, Touching, Twisty, Weird, Wig Crack, Writer's Peak

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01-Jun-2022


Ex On The Beach (2014-) BitesDowngrade

It's uncomfortable watching gay boys creeping on girls. A woman has no safety zones. We end up feeling sorry for her and hating him. My generation was very proud of its identification and it's preference. We had an unwritten contract. The point of being gay was to retire vagina. This generation confuses itself. It confuses me. It confuses everybody. 17-May-2022
S5E2. Love means having to say you're sorry, a lot. The only thing holding a black woman down is her cheating membrane of a boyfriend. Are ragers who splash people with drinkable liquids pool owners? This asshole wants to know. Bisexuals proved synonymous with hypocrisy. A gay preference disguised as an accident is no reason to fuck up a trans life. Trans needs a do over. We've already established that wet dog dos are out. A man pretending to be more than a bisexual is a pervert who fucks little children. 10-Apr-2022
S4E12. The only people stopping gays from advancing is other gays. Imagine if other gays didn't exist. How happy we'd all be. Adore's ex compared her smell to a llama. I was supposed to insert an inappropriate joke but since I'm not officially a comedian, I looked it up to be sure. They have no odor and you can make beans out of their poop. They're always lying down and won't crap in bed or on the bus. Ok. Why does the ex have the smell of a llama memorized? Does he fuck them? What a day old bagel. The mini bagel had a Superman ex try to sweep her off her feet and away from Joker except all she saw was Two-Face. Half of his face was gorgeous. The everything bagel got fucked when his bagel fell on the floor for more than five-seconds and three people tried to eat it. Just for fun, the lesbian is a toasted bagel with lox and extra cheese. 09-Apr-2022
S4E10. Wow, the guy with the fake piano teeth made it. How can you resist the "I'm going to break your heart and fuck your pussy" swag? The cis man considers LGBTQ the handmaidens of sex. Promise the alpha good sex and he'll treat you like a handmaiden. Is the lesbian legal? The black "everything bagel" jock will be exposing his dick like a trophy to babies in a future verse. If we're going to teach sex ed in schools we should commence with a speech on how everybody is going to cheat on your fucking ass because you will probably suck at sex or snore. 08-Apr-2022
S4E1. Chronicling the lives of loser exes on a frozen beach. The producers found men that would risk their straight asses for love. Transvestites, drag queens and lesbians unite. The lesbian is granted male toxicity status because her big dick is plastic. A white man got all Will Smith when he noticed his black compatriot with a piano keys mouth. He is going to slap the fakeness out of them. 06-Apr-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Comedy, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Gay, Hilarious, Horror, Incomprehensible, Insecurities, Insulting, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Preposterous, Psychological, Representing, Romance, Sex, Stupid Funny, Trashy, Wig Crack

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17-May-2022


I've Got A Secret (1952-1967) Full Moon

You know you are hooked on greatness when the picture looks crappy but the content is gold. 23-Mar-2022

Tags: 1950s, 1960s, Adorable, Amiable, Art, Best In Game Show, Best In Variety, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Comfort Food, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Fun, Hilarious, History, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Nostalgic, Over the Top, Psychological, Sentimental, Silly, Special, Star Power, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Talk, Tough, Variety, Weird, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

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23-Mar-2022


Is It Cake? (2022-) BitesEarly Exit

S1E1. Mikey Day actually sounds like that? I thought that was an SNL inflection. The refrain is killing me. The artistic aspect (cakes) are impressive but the format and its presentation are unforgivable. The reason the guest stars are not household names is because the majority of people don't want to hear them. I am leaving because I'm allergic to certain sounds and I don't eat cake. 23-Mar-2022

Tags: 2020s, Art, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Discomfort, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Fatigue, Game Show, Gay, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Tacky, Tedium, Tired, Trashy, Unfunny, Weird, Wig Crack, Writ For Short Attn Spans

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23-Mar-2022


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)  Howl

Non-monogomay is the new slut. Those clever sluts! 07-Sep-2021
Bossy got proven lazy to encourage quality work. They couldn't fire her so the boss hired a maid for the stews. 16-Aug-2021
Punishing a black bossy crewmate by banishing her to a lower deck with steam. Don't they know what that does to her hair? Rich people piss in hot tubs. 09-Aug-2021
The water not only messes with her hair but her brain too. Black girl sank the boat with her lack of irreverence. Malia's transition from Deck Ratched to the Flying Nun is not convincing. "Like that nerd would ever have a chance." Hahaha. There's a proud wench stew onboard and I sort of like her. The bullied cook is going to serve the crew for dinner. The captain was nowhere in sight. Sealab reports were due. 19-Jul-2021
Charter lottery wedding and pet murderers. Black female employees trump weak authority on a boat. "Shut the fuck up, white bitch!" Chef is so Don Knotts. Jumps at anything. The girls made fun of how unattractive the male crew was on a lesbian chugger. It's a safety mechanism women employ to keep an environment sex-free. Except, cis women will fuck anything! Malia pretended to be human by letting an underling sexually fantasize about her. 05-Jul-2021
The ban on black people serving the privileged has ended. Is that a tail I see between Malia's legs? It didn't stop her from making her male subordinate feel like a stereotype. You could tell a lesbian hired the male staff. Arf. Captain Sandy reminded me that lesbians pour great wine but can't cook. What a riot. It was so much fun watching the lizard charter choke on human food. 22-Jun-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Crapfun, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Political, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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07-Sep-2021


Jupiter's Legacy (2021) WoofDowngradeArf

SE5. I'm not done yet. They talk a lot. I wander then I rewind to listen that they are griping about the same depressing shit as last episode. Did Hollywood run out of realistic looking hair or are lousy wiggers not fireable? They gave Daddy the homeless wig. Daddy's hair drips and droops and looks exactly like it sounds. The cast is jelling but the story needs some mushrooms. 14-May-2021
A great pastiche of superhero adventures and the miserable lives it processes. It's familiar, obliterating and fun. 09-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Amiable, Camp, Chemistry, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Relationships, Repetitive, Star Power, Star Watt, Twinkie, Wig Crack, Words Spoke

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14-May-2021