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All Posts Tagged as 'Horror Mild'

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A Quiet Place: Day One: (2024) Whimper

A movie where silence is golden only resonates with "good face" actors. Lupita is characterized as an unpleasant doom manipulator. The cat that doesn't meow really pissed me off. By making the cat mute they missed out on fresh ideas and unforgettable scenes. Hounsou was relegated to extra. The action repeats but it doesn't refresh. More monster exposition would have added coherence and sustainability. What is their backstory? What happened to the crying babies? Deaf people who can talk? The rules of the game were acknowledged rather swiftly and the setups were obvious and corny. Pizza, really? 08-Jan-2025

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Director Experiment, Fatigue, Horror, Horror Mild, Inactivity, Retread, Sequel, Silly, Slow, Timid, Writer Weakness

Filed under: Movies

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08-Jan-2025


Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice (2024) Woof

It was good. 26-Dec-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director's Achievement, Drama, Fantasy, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Horror Mild, Music Swings, Relationships, Sentimental, Sequel, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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26-Dec-2024


Afraid (2024) Arf

The A.I. was too sparkly and bubbly. Action was stagnant. I had to look up the actors names to remember who was in it, even though I just watched it. The tension it built should have burst the story into the air but it got stenched with TV type trite that makes a farting sound. 30-Nov-2024

Tags: 2020s, Director Experiment, Disappointment, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror Mild, Over the Top, Silly, Slow, Stupid Funny, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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30-Nov-2024


Are You In The House Alone? (1978)  Woof

Kathleen Beller was a momentary icon that embodied being the naive girl that falls into temptation and then gets called out for it. Princess is being stalked and nobody gives a shit. Gwyneth's twin mother, Blythe supplies enough misunderstandings to compel her child to rebel. Baby Dennis Quaid's swag was thinking he could make women cum with only his dick. The film begins post crime with warnings and horror elements woven into it but it's not that. It's a sober approach that questions why all rapists can't get convicted. Life has a way of adjusting a lack of human justice though, by cursing the guilty party. "Scream like I screamed, bitch." 03-Nov-2024

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Heart Writ, Horror Mild, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Psychological, Rapey, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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04-Nov-2024


Beast Within, The (2024) Whimper

They made us wait forever to see the man with the sculpted buns, they mimicked the mythology instead of enacting it, the lack of words made it easier to hide but hard to understand. They took a sample of what often occurs with a man beast and concocted a film. Samples can't describe the complete picture. It moves slow, the child is soulless, the wife doesn't matter, and daddy is one-note. Daddy is goofy happy and abusively angry. I recommend that Kit and his buns of stone make a better movie elsewhere. 31-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Horror Mild, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Tedium, Timid, Timid Effects, Vague, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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31-Oct-2024


House Of Spoils (2024) Whimper

Food can be an orgasmic delight or a fatal mistake. The film runs with it but keeps making U-turns to nonsensical scares. The premise felt fresh but lazy. I thought up cooler things to do with food to scare besides making it icky. Ms. DeBose restrained herself esp. her face. Her close-ups didn't convey much because her face was speaking a foreign tongue. I had no idea what she was thinking. Once again, the bombardment of one subject doesn't match the progression of the film. The script should never read like a resume. It shouldn't end like one either. Isn't the last line about hobbies and likes? 09-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Creepy, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Horror Mild, Timid, Vague, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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09-Oct-2024


Deliverance, The (2024) Arf

X-corist, Amyty and Geist are the main ingredients that make up this film. It's three interwoven white stories rewritten for black people. Andra Day portrayed a monster with minimal happy days. She was constantly confrontational, inconsistent and influenced. If it weren't for dames Monique and Close, I would have left. I don't think anybody can play an old hillbilly slut better than Glenn. Evil Glenn was appetizing and distinguished. Monique created a believable character from top to bottom and didn't fidget. A successful sequel to The Exorcist might have consisted of observing Regan's memories returning and their dire effects. Regan: Pazuzu Returns! 04-Sep-2024

Tags: 2020s, Coincidence Laden, Cultural, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Fatigue, Horror, Horror Mild, Retread, Shrill Act, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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04-Sep-2024


Immaculate (2024) Woof

Sydney Sweeney gave great face, the crew provided atmosphere and the director kept to the script. It was good but it needed a shot of dare. It was the perfect opportunity to experiment with explosive ideas but they were controlled by standards. The story was equally divided as an Omen prequel and a Rosemary's Baby. 25-Aug-2024

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Director Movement, Drama, Horror, Horror Mild, Psychological, Star Watt, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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25-Aug-2024


First Omen, The (2024) Whimper

They couldn't follow up the original story so they made shit up. I wanted to see the devil fuck a jackal. In what Walt Disney world is that not possible? It took cues from The Nun without inhabiting what made the original Omen successful. Actors we cared about bringing a terrific book to life. A score that lives in my eternal memory. A director that defined it without judging it. Damien-Omen II's foreboding notes would have given the movie strength and fan base pleasure throughout, if they had thought to use it. 01-Jun-2024

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Cold, Horror Mild, Inactivity, Indecipherable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Silly, Slow, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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01-Jun-2024


There's Something In The Barn (2023) Bites

The director didn't add scope to cramped spaces. The set-up was an opportunity to marry into the Gremlins family but the creatives were inspired to make schlock. It was nice to have a boy do something in a movie besides being written out. The thing in the barn is not a CGI wonder or a Chucky miracle. It was old and dusty, like the script. I hope they hired some little people, at least. The film confuses weird with scary. The action sequences were frozen, the comedy was foggy and horror didn't show up. 01-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Cold, Comedy, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Fatigue, Holiday, Horror Mild, Preposterous, Retread, Silly, Stupid Funny, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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01-Apr-2024


Five Nights At Freddys (2023) Bites

It was difficult to establish how the animatronics were killing people. They never showed it. It was directed for wimps who are scared of horror movies. The reason for living animatronics is an overused one. They couldn't be aliens? How the fuck did that animatronic get in the car? They do not bend easily. How many times did we have to relive Josh's memories? We got it the first time. 07-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Cliche, Depressing, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Horror, Horror Mild, Oncer, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Tacky

Filed under: Movies

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07-Mar-2024


Nun II, The (2023) Woof

If beliefs cause faith why can't we believe there are no demons? We have to fight them first so we know we're good. Taissa gave great face and Storm Reid was her partner, lapping it all up. They had an interracial team-up that felt genuine. Jonas Bloquet was eliciting Hammer tremors. The nun was still glorious, showing up scantily but creepy and ready to blow. Her backstory held. It's fun watching scared little mean girls. 17-Nov-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Horror, Horror Mild, Music Swings, Relationships, Revenge, Scary, Sentimental, Star Watt, Subtle, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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17-Nov-2023


Fear In The Night (1972) Arf

Angelic training makes a wife susceptible to malice because they are mentally unstable. Legends of art accelerated the drama. The table turn was sweet and the film wasn't a horrible waste of time. 22-Jul-2023

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Disappointment, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Horror Mild, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Silly, Suspense, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: Movies

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22-Jul-2023


Run Rabbit Run (2023) Whimper

I was in as soon as I witnessed Shiv being sarcastic to a saucy child. I was out when the mystery couldn't sustain itself and it lavished us with endless finales. It wouldn't end. After the first finale, the predictions come quick, the heart slows and wtf? It's a long way around to prove mother is an asshole. 02-Jul-2023

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Depressing, Director Slouch, Drama, Horror Mild, Star Watt, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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02-Jul-2023


Summit Fever (2022) Arf

I was bracing for another Fall experience but no vertigo set in. It had to be the shots. Above and below shots were seldom. The camera moved sideways as much as possible, as if they too were afraid of heights. The purpose for the drama is always the same, like the tragedy that inspired it. The pretty cast gave more than what we got. The story rises out of its standard issue to flesh out characters so the performers can deliver while they stall. It's petrifying in a very safe space. An ass prince shows up in winter/apocalyptic clothing, head to toe. They couldn't wait for summer? 20-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Cliche, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Horror Mild, Pretty, Relationships, Sentimental, Sports, Star Watt, Timid, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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20-Mar-2023




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