TV Posts Tagged as 'Tacky'
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Love Is Blind (2020-)
I hope Ramses gets to keep his balls. He didn't know that keeping your balls was part of the experiment. I hope Ashley wakes up from reality and the added expense she has taken on. Keep fucking Tyler but don't give him a kid. Oh and film it. Surrogate, my ass. 23-Oct-2024
Marissa's mother summed everything up. "If you hurt my bitch daughter I will cut your balls off." It's a misnomer to think that love isn't hurt when that's all love is. Yes, we are going to love, fuck it up, change our minds, get the yucks, find others attractive, cheat, maybe, doubt, feel, die, get sick, get better, repeat ourselves, transition, evolve and escape. A thin Hannah on TV sounds like a horrific thing. I think it is beneficial that Ramses switches team. Taylor and Garrett don't gel because they fit. Nick needs to win an award for "Most Tolerant Contestant Without Resorting to Violence." Ashley needs to fuck Tyler a few hundred times, film it, dump him and send the rushes to me. Alexandra and Tim. He needs an active model that isn't inflatable. 18-Oct-2024
I wanted to see more thigh, not this. The show fell and hit its head and a concussion was inevitable. There has to be a reason why Hannah is so popular. She scares me. Marissa's family had no business criticizing her fiancee's appearance without knowing him. Not only did the mother call her own daughter a bitch but she threatened Ramses with violence on national TV. Future bitch comparisons when they argue are forever. (I want to shave him so bad.) Nick, why doesn't your mustache connect to the beard? Tim was a disappointment. Not all squish is good and not all secrets are kosher. Stephen and Monica. Okay. This would have been the perfect occasion to bring flowers and a gift. 12-Oct-2024
S7E7. The vacation was a kindergartener's "first day" type of thing. The couples were blasted to la la land where the only dream that came true were worst case scenarios. The contestants dream so convincingly that it becomes a fake reality that doesn't prepare them for the future. Confidence is knowing where you're going no matter what stops you. Garrett shaved but I didn't notice a difference. Everything Hannah planned is working. She's there for the endgame. She didn't want her second choice but didn't allow her buddy to have him either. The key word was "shut up girl, it's none of your business." Leo deserves her. Monica. Ms. Plantation treats her husband like a butler. How does she stay so thin? She doesn't move. He gets everything for her. Everything but flowers and gifts because you can't show love without cash. She shushes him like a dog when she thinks it's her turn to talk. "Who's a good doggie?" What has she done to deserve gifts? Tim and Alex. I don't remember their tiff but it rang a huge alarm. She was off and listless. Marissa and Ramses. Somewhere in her sea of militarism was a hot dick, I'm sure. Why else talk about it incessantly? Why doesn't she just blowhorn into Ramses ear that he better be toxic or the fumes aren't happening. I wanted to invite Monica over to shush her. 11-Oct-2024
S7E6. The Lacheys provided an environment that would make the meekest male contestant undress. Hooray for us. Even though the hairier ones set off panic buttons, the men were all lovely and diverse. Ramses deserves a better backstory and a tremendous makeover. Representing a time not connected to us isn't cool. Stephen is a nice man awakening to nefarious deeds. I want a Tyler doll with clothes and without options and a reasonable licking rate. Tim is as shy as a butterfly. Nick D. is a gnome gone hot and it's hard to describe why. If men don't want to be used for their money, they shouldn't talk about it incessantly. "It's like he's asking for it. Should I take it, should I not? Is it impolite to refuse? Is it legal?" Leo equates success with love. His spidey legs are tingly with a drop of venom. Garrett is all smiles, ready to crack. Tim is the cutie with no thigh time and a future mama that doesn't know how to kiss his insecurities goodbye. Squish and water make for magnificent foreplay. Bohdan was the prettiest and most dangerous. 13-Mar-2024
Bachelorette, The (2003-)
A neither would be most welcome. 30-Aug-2024
Dude, these guys are creeping me out. 30-Jul-2024
Aaron left. Of course she did. 24-Jul-2024
I hope this child has a lot of protection. How do you choose among wolves? Aaron is representing the LGBTQ community. Devin is all mouth. He can please casting but can he woo a woman? Should he even try? Hakeem has never watched an episode of the Simpsons. Jonathon looks like the kind of guy that would fuck your brains out until he gets Britney's number. Sam has a very pretty face. What's his sexual problem? Everyone acts like their agents taught them how to act. I pity the fool. 18-Jul-2024
Love Island UK (2019-)
Women are pursuing these motherfuckers because there is a cash prize at the end, correct? I don't remember Reuben. There was nothing to latch onto. Josh must choose to be blacker or whiter. Yes, I had a doll that looked like Blade. Hugo combs his hair in reverse. I bet Konnor is a fantastic one nighter. Will must be hung. Joey is a doll. Sean is Jimmy Oleson. Ayo, we pray for you. I would have barbecued Trey like he was a lobster. Moziah reeks of beauty and nature. Ciaran has too many identities going on. 11-Jul-2024
House of Heat (2024-)
They look, talk and walk like ducks but don't like being called ducks. Only Fans creators are thrust inside a fish tank so they can observe, teach and grow their businesses. Some peel their clothes off while others tease it. Everyone is judgmental, scared and hostile. It was difficult to side with anyone because a lot of them believe they have the answer to surviving the mess they're in. Chase's beauty kept melting off the more he talked. The gay couple was so united in their bond that there was no space to breathe. They clung dependently like Venom and Hardy. The straight couple only had sex with each other on camera. They were special. She wanted to hold on to chastity. Any man that needs to fuck so many times a day already cheated and had the threesome she denied him. Brother gay with an appealing body needed to purse his lips, not glow them. The arguments are loud, repetitive and frustrating. Maybe the creators will realize the answer when they are outside the box. I don't know the answer but I know how it ends. The women questioned everything and added motives later. We never got an answer to the smelly pussygate dilemma. Was she sexually violated or were men just being themselves? Is that the reason we have to label everything? To distance ourselves from others? They close every argument like there will be a sequel. I wish my brain would function as fluidly as these creators. It made the cuckoo in my head clock pop. They are killing the mystery of the fantasy by telling too much. 29-Jul-2024
Love Island (2019-)
Gays undercover have no idea how to deal with female toxicity. 06-Aug-2021
Gays undercover are still saving women. Men with sexual dysfunctions agreed to remain in their original coupling. Men think women are stupider than them because they believe everything they say. 30-Jul-2021
S3E9. The men are playing football, faking the women into doing behind the scenes porn in front of the team, their family and friends. Gay boys are undercover to make sure the rejected puppies don't get tackled. It's cheating but the show has an image to uphold. May the best cock win! 26-Jul-2021
Perfect Match (2023-)
Finale. Nick rocked a shorts suit and I liked it. The stylist that decided to put long pants on Harry should've been reprimanded. Mama mia worked extra shifts so as not to return home to her daughter. I think I know why I made my GI Joe Kaz a bottom. Bryton won the thigh competition and a motorboat invitation. If Nigel were a GI Joe I would play with him. Izzy's date with Jessica consisted of him being an upside down Spider-Man dripping sweat down her throat. It all went downhill fast. He came to life at the party and looked like an adorable in shorts and white socks. Prince Eric tried to convince the voters that he was in love with his mermaid. She wasn't just a catch. The mermaid was caught off guard and sounded even phonier. The contestants voted with their hearts and surprised everyone. It had an I hate you all vibe. 22-Jun-2024
Hot diggity damn, Nick! Full shots of hunky men sitting in shorts while confessing, was priceless. Nick was naughty. Jess is so independent that she can raise her daughter without ever being seen. Harry. Why do men always have to explain themselves? Harry kept repeating Jess' daughter's name like he knew her for years so she would believe him and fall in love. "Jess, fuck his brains out until he can't walk but do not bring him home." All Harry wants is a luxurious leg massage and to be reminded of how beautiful they are. The men stood up for themselves by being quiet. The girls fought amongst their own with no perfect match to support them. When Kaz decided to sample, I understood his psychology. Beauty belongs to everyone. Perfect match should see him alone at toga parties. The blonde with the tresses and the big eyes looks like Emma Stone. Prince Eric's mindset lacked etiquette and consideration. A shark. Izzy did his best. He sort of memorized the producer's script and there were cue cards everywhere he looked but dude couldn't stop being awkward. I still dig the face. 15-Jun-2024
I always returned G.I. Joe Kaz to his manly state. Even though I washed the make-up off there were shadows. The moment Pazuzu noticed, G.I. Joe Kaz mysteriously disappeared. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2-5. Harry was not stirring my pot until I noticed his thigh to leg ratio. I boiled, my lid began to shake, float and rise. I noticed that there was a lot of that. It almost repaired my soul. When Jessica confessed to having a child, Harry asked where she was. Exactly! We've seen more of Jessica than her daughter has. Prince Eric from an off-broadway production of The Little Mermaid was returned to sea many times but somebody always rescued him. Fuck, I'd probably rescue him too if he didn't talk. I will ask no questions before night, night and I need to call him Eric. The sea is full of mermaids. My other G.I. Joe doll looked like Kaz. He was a soldier in green combats. I tore up his uniform, created a wig out of his undershirt, painted his face and made G.I. Joe Nick fuck the shit out of him. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2. Ack! 08-Jun-2024
S2E1. We don't watch Izzy because of the way he talks, we just want to lick him and squish him. Izzy hooked up with a goddess, it took him 23 minutes to finish. He spent at least 20 minutes in the bathroom and three minutes convincing her it would be good for her career. Nick almost lifted his skirt. Thighs for a later episode? Boy, he's got some daddy legs. Nice. He looked like one of the G.I. Joes I played with as a kid but shinier. Some cocky dink bragged that he was gifted a cookie for providing a great fuck. Dude, I got a whole house and did nothing! Stevan's tattoos were more aggressive than he was. The soft boys were being traded for angry chokesters they can't control. Women have permission to be promiscuous if they sign off on it. 08-Jun-2024
Something tells me that most of the men and half the women, would have found a perfect match had they cloned Francesca. Abbey decided to strip the thighmaster of his crown and knight him a dick. 02-Mar-2023
A questionable sex partner sort of dumped Francesca. Yippee! He did it so he could stay and torture the fuck out of the man inside her. In the last aired episode he shaved his body to look more like a bitch. A gorgeous virgin who promises sex only in marriage is mandating that a partner suffer poor sex for the rest of their lives. He's not a lover, he's your brother. 24-Feb-2023
They should give camera people a special award for rewarding viewers with juicy thigh shots. The party started as soon as the Thigh King twitched in his shorts. They were everywhere. I haven't caught up yet but I hope somebody dumps Francesca. All she's doing is trying on different dicks. Like they were dresses at a bargain basement store. That poor sad flat black boy. 22-Feb-2023
Summer House (2017-)
Reunion Pt. 1. Dude, Carl has Ozempic neck. Ciara confused a fuck for a marriage proposal with ten kids. Whatever Wes is hiding must be inside his underwear because the part in his hair reminds me of a barber shop quartet. Lindsay and Carl are both liars except the giant slayed his prey with one cancellation. Why wasn't Robin Hood sitting on Amanda's lap? Isn't his ass worth it? 07-Jun-2024
Paige schooled Ariana DeBose on what a mentally challenged slut is. Is Robin Hood aware that we can flip him like a pancake and concentrate on that instead? Ciara kissed the aioli and didn't throw up. Gabby's problem is that she can't hit someone. Ariana DeBose? Bravo is not like BET. Carl needs to know that he can also be flipped and motor boated from behind. 27-Apr-2024
Ariana DeBose can replace Danielle and nobody would notice. Can Ciara please stop pretending to like white people? Can Lindsay stop pretending that there isn't more to her and the balloon guy than previously suggested? Is she diddying him to other girls? Is Amanda unaware that any man would eat and massage Robin Hood's ass if he asked? Is Lindsay aware that anybody would motorboat her giant, without asking, because of his hairy thunder thighs? 15-May-2023
Is dating Lindsay making the giant's hands smaller? 12-Mar-2023
Ultimatum: South Africa (2024-)
I don't know if the individuals were breaking the rules or there were none. By episode 3 almost all the strangers hooked up, in one way or another. Some went all the way and others were inconclusive. One girlfriend cheated because she couldn't feel her husband's penis inside her. TG she found a cocky asshole to fill her side panels. Their partners were embarrassed and gaslighted. The white couple seemed out of sorts. She probably had a fantasy of trying a black man that he went along with because it stalled marrying her. She partnered with a horny boy who kept begging for it. White boy was partnered with a sad woman that had no idea why her boyfriend was enjoying the experience and lying about it whilst she was stuck with a white boy. The goldigger had every reason to want a real man with money and the men had every right to dump her. Men ask that a woman be respectful, a cook, attentive, a womb, a slut and someone that believes everything he tells her. They want to impregnate them so they can enjoy, at least, six months of guilt-free cheating because they need to fuck and they don't want to hurt the baby. I imagined Nick stuttering and Vanessa fainting at the reunion. It would have been hilarious. Book them tickets! 15-May-2024
Love Is Blind (2020-)
Reunion. I know Izzy was there so I could mentally lick him from head to toe and tongue the thing that he finds so interesting in his mouth. Every time Clay talked I wished they had cut to Izzy. I think his therapy was acting classes. He was a Shakespearean ham. If he really tried psychotherapy, I want proof. Show us how many anti-psychotic meds they prescribed. Jimmy got dragged because he can't tell time, has a big dick, awesome teeth and tells women the truth. Geez, does that mother spend any time with her daughter? Dude, what happened to You? He looks like his pregnant wife. Nick cleared the Lacheys from any liability. The reason that they failed at marriage isn't the Lacheys fault. The contestants' parents suck. Clay and the other homeless got to eat one more free meal before begging for future dinners. 13-Mar-2024
What part of "I'm engaged to a dick" did AD not understand? The latina has no idea what it's going to be like to share a blue eyed baby maker with her friends. She might have to slash some tires. Jimmy's speech was arousing. I had a desire to squish his face and lick his teeth again. The only parts of a fairy tale that are true are the bad ones. It's immature to keep believing in them. 07-Mar-2024
Forget thighs, we've got some roasted turkeys this season. Nick, you sly dog you, for teaching married eeked out men that they too can enjoy life after blind marriage.
If we have to change so much to maintain a relationship, then what is the point of being ourselves? They should add acting classes to sex education. 23-Feb-2024
E6. Unless Nick Lachey does something drastic, like wear shorts or tights, thigh season is over. Meet and greet was made uncomfortable by three Razzie nominees. Not only was AD not Barbie, she wasn't even Barbie's black friend. Petite means childlike. How could she not understand the reference? Her intense desire to get married trumped it. Clay can recognize that she is beautiful but she doesn't fulfill his type. He played along because it's better than waiting for his mother's social security check to deposit and he gets to eat fine food in paradise for free with a bombshell woman that his dick wont easily glide into. At the reunion, AD lent all the men her flopping attention, pinpointed her fuck target as Chelsea noticed and put one on her. The most hilarious meet and greet happened to Jimmy, his car salesman pitch, sexy tone and granite (but squishy) conceit, made it obvious to the audience that he was displeased when he saw her. He stopped before sitting to look at the camera directly and threaten it. He lied and charmed but kept giving clues to the viewers that yes, I'm no prince either but I have smooth skin, a cheeky smile, some hair, squishiness, and a big fat dick. At the group honeymoon, Jimmy focused on AD's chest and wanted everybody to know it, but especially AD and his fiancee. The way he approached AD is probably the same way he approaches all scared women wherever he goes. The first red flag was his face because all you can say to it is "what a bad boy you are" and lick his teeth. Laura is the last nominee. She did better than the guys but her compliments flitted by and bit. During the honeymoon she insinuated that fiancee's penis was as big as a baby banana. He pretended not to hear her. I can't wait until she shares the anecdote with the group. If you use gorgeous and beautiful constantly as a description it loses its validity. It's also disingenuous. Jeramy might need evaluation. His immaturity is prepubescent. It looks like someone cheats. The Lacheys must do everything in their power to bring back thighs. Never tell your girlfriends about fiancee's dick. At least two will find it secretly tempting and doable. 17-Feb-2024
S6E1. I was starting to get worried. There were no man thighs worth motorboating. TG Trevor showed up and was appropriately dressed. He knows how to play the game. The male pods' temperature should always be much higher than the women's. Matthew has great talk but is pre-recorded. Clay asked AD to confirm she was a Barbie doll. That damn movie. 19-Oct-2023
Trevor Noah: Where Was I (2023)
Noah plays Detroit and spends most of his time talking about Germany's history (who cares) and woke shit (ack) that is not proven. He thinks he was there. He has nothing relevant to say, is not as funny as Matt Rife and is a little racist. 28-Dec-2023
Bachelor In Paradise (2014 - )
The producers made daddy Palmer look like one of the weird kids from The Polar Express. His eyes didn't move, they dialed down the light, the sparkle and he started looking through people, not at them. My apologies, sir, I thought it was a beautiful thing. 12-Nov-2023
Oh no! I think the show is on realtime. The new girl said Brayden looked like Johnny Depp, nobody threw anything in the ocean and worst of all, they restricted daddy Palmer's cornea movements! No more eye fucking. They cut away just as soon as tears started to stream down his face. 04-Nov-2023
Mr. Palmer is a faithful husband. He only eyefucks men. It was fun to see Wells eat his burrito, though. Somebody looked like they were going to join a supremacist group after getting dumped. Brayden is a pirate that has all the women aflutter. Can all the girls fuck him and dump him so I can stop obsessing about him? Were asses covered up because they pooped themselves or because we might get excited? Yo, you can't be the fairer sex if you believe everything a man says. Kat's birthday cake looked nasty. Why are these people allowed to throw anything into the ocean? Doesn't she know that Flipper can get diabetes? 28-Oct-2023
Woohoo! The Palmer eye-fucked the newbie in an episode where not much happened. If you're demanding honesty from a man, don't do it like Kat. She hates the truth. 23-Oct-2023
Brayden's beauty suffers intense consequences because he can't deliver. Sean looks like a dream prince that Dreamworks dreamed up. There is no rational reason why Will should act sensitive when being dumped. Aaron needs to butt fuck his girl so she can stay regular and alive. She is a walking testament of why travel sucks. Wells is a cute package that the contestants keep unwrapping. The theme is past promises made to people they weren't attracted to and the people who can't accept it. Jesse Palmer hasn't eye-fucked anyone and that's worrisome. They're so good. Men only! The thighs are wide, the legs are nice, the men have bite, are succulent and falling apart for trying to make someone else happy. Is this how toxic masculinity is created? 18-Oct-2023
Married At First Sight UK (2015-)
Reunion. I was put off that Hades and his minions had ceased to judge then I realized that not all foreign reality shows are made in the cryptic depths of Australia. The black judge is either gay or giddy. Jordan thinks that his supremacism won't show if he romances the same black subject five years later. George escaped from the Arkham Asylum. No George, you cannot control this chick because you can't sexually satisfy her. Kwame has James Bond issues. The lesbians are happy with any kind of pussy, even if it doesn't eat dog food. Hey judges, gay men can marry sisters but they fuck men. The pronoun starts with cis. If the lesbians can get one with a bow tie we can get one lousy butch. They exist. They made us. The supremacist stopped the show by being supreme. He dumped a weighty issue by adopting a more politically correct one. Thou mustn't abuse the power called race. We're running away together, bitch! If you complain you'll sound like a racist because she's black! Instant GET OUT OF JAIL card. 16-Jun-2023
Love Is Blind (2020)
Reunion. Kwame was looking real fine tethered to his million dollar mink. Was the derogatory remark Marshall used on Jackie, "trans?" How lgbtq of him. Prop Bro You changed his looks but kept Joe's drawl. The gorgeous mad mane was replaced by chemicals that flattened their splendor. He squished a bigger body and he gained an intellectual's beard. He's either hiding his identity, ready to disappear or he's playing Joe's stuntman for the final season of You. Original Joe decided to channel Cuban Pete. All he needed was a sombrero and a set of bongos between his legs. I never realized how much insignificance he applies to the person that couldn't be ladylike. I wanted to be an earplug stuck on a couch listening to the Yous whispering:
OrgU: I'm losing it brother
ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)
OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe)
Slap!!!
Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!
The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023
S4E11. Prop Bro You hates strippers, especially unattractive ones. He usually eats them for lunch. When he was in the pool with Bliss he looked like he was imagining what parts of her he would fry first. If he were a serial killer that is. Chelsea kept acting the part even as a hairdresser burnt her hair. She's psychic too, like that pretty terrifying celebrity twink. She immediately pegged Kwame's sister because she was the only black woman to enter the bridal suite. 08-Apr-2023
S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023
S4E9. That lady Chelsea thinks that relationships are about being serviced. Kwame needs to fastball her. Marshall is petrified of vagina. Pretty eyes can't fuck. Jackelina, run! Zach is still property managing his You charisma. TG Bliss is desperate. If a man doesn't want to engage a partner in sex it's because he has an STD or doesn't have a knack for it. Dump. 07-Apr-2023
Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023
The women came to vamp and conquer men that will never satisfy them but hopefully, will keep them barefoot and pregnant with a ring on it. The feminist plan is to train men to lie about everything so the women can feel loved and acknowledged. A man will say anything to a woman for a steady prospective orgasm. It means less outside hookups, more money and lots of family time. The women turned the dating show into The Hunger Games because they hate other women. Hearing women fangirling to idiot things men make up, is disconcerting. The banter appeared read off a corny romance novel or movie, they memorized. When you swoon at bad singing you will regret it. Their were 2 Joes from You. One of them looked like an impassioned third Property Brother. The women that connived for them are not amused. Dude, Prop Bro is the hottest man there. It's okay. The contestants have realized that the purpose of the show is to get married and bear fucking children from all that they desire so they too can make regrettable choices in life. 15-Feb-2023
Call Me Kat (2021-)
Stay just as you are. 12-Mar-2023
The passing of the great Jordan made me realize how the show has become a family staple. The alcoholic neighborhood bar where all inhibitions are lost, pretension is the love potion to making friends, sex is candied and sticky, cordial and silly are memories and its best intention is not to hate cats. Bialik channeled Blossom and it worked. I never thought I'd see her again. Good. Papi Jack nailed himself to the wall so I could behold his back spread. It might not be the biggest anymore but it sure looks tasty. Julian Gant. I'm going to start at the top of his head and work my way down. 09-Dec-2022
Papi Jackson accepted my offer and renamed his brand Waffle Man and I went to the supermarket and bought all of Aunt Jemima's syrup. Kat hates cats! How abominably delicious. Yeah! 11-May-2022
They need to stop exploiting cats and explore the biggest vagina on the gay planet. Dorks are out, whores are in. Cat ladies are delusional. 02-Apr-2022
You know what? Kat is growing on me. She hasn't released her Big Bang rigidity but busting out some Blossom on shrooms sort of moves would make the character a classic. Miranda couldn't give a fuck and neither should Kat. Good luck! 27-Mar-2021
Mayim Bialik presumes she's as adorable as her childhood character, Blossom. She's not. The support represents everything that she has publicly denounced so it's uncomfortable watching them glorify her when she'd rather talk to the camera than interact with them. Leslie Jordan deserves better, Swoozie Kurtz might as well retire and Cheyenne Jackson has swallowed way too many dicks to be considered a straight romantic lead. 23-Jan-2021
Below Deck (2013-)
Old lady cruisers take advantage of slave ship service by being demanding and hungry. Fraser is coasting on Captain's hard dick and because vaginas are the devil. Tony refuses to suck more of anything until he gets properly paid. Gay men with wealth are ridiculous. Ross' dick shuts down if she's bossy. I heard daddy's back. 01-Mar-2023
Never ask Alissa to do pronouns, she can barely pronounce Captain. 20-Feb-2023
The stews un-anchored the Captain by drowning in a gang mentality and not being useful. Chief Stew Fraser is looking to follow in a supervisory position. Doesn't work. I would never unnerve a captain on their own ship. They might sail off a cliff or something. Tony only comes alive when he is doing yoga or stripping for money. Deck Ross has sex six times a day. Business vacations must be rough on the wife. Katie would do it. Alissa was unaware that the walls carried her loud and condescending voice. THE CAPTAIN HEARD YOU through 2 walls and a door! 08-Feb-2023
I want Captain Daddy to return, saddle up with Captain Sandy and fire those two fanny fluttered wenches. One serves too much, the other too little. I'd also have Captain Dicksome sail across and give the captains a thumbs up, banners on the sails and lots of loud honking as the wingless birds exit. 10-Jan-2023
Fuck pinpoint accuracy, Captain Sandy needs a drink. That's why she's overeating and is probably gonna break a bottle atop that backstabbing ass bitch's head. SHE HEARD YOU ON THE RADIO! 06-Jan-2023
Captain Daddy is helming a boat full of digressing fools. Chief Stew Fraser is waiting for a gangbang to push him into aggression. Chef Loops decided that finagling questionable chemicals into meals for guests is a better option than being addicted. White girls will never get along with black superiors unless they're spraying spritzes of sugar, ie: soda. Chris Lamb is onboard to make us forget him, Ross McHarg was hired to not say "gay," and Tony will suck anybody's dick because in his native country, he would starve, if he didn't. 06-Dec-2022