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TV Posts Tagged as 'Tacky'

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Perfect Match (2023-) Arf

Hot diggity damn, Nick! Full shots of hunky men sitting in shorts while confessing, was priceless. Nick was naughty. Jess is so independent that she can raise her daughter without ever being seen. Harry. Why do men always have to explain themselves? Harry kept repeating Jess' daughter's name like he knew her for years so she would believe him. Jess, fuck his brains out until he can't walk but do not take him home. All Harry wants is a luxurious leg massage and to be reminded how beautiful they are. The men stood up for themselves by being quiet. The girls fought amongst their own with no perfect match to support them. When Kaz decided to sample I understood his psychology. Perfect match should see him alone at toga parties. The blond with the tresses and the big eyes looks like Emma Stone. Prince Eric's mindset lacked etiquette and consideration. He was a desperate opportunist. A shark. Izzy did his best. He sort of memorized the producer's script and there were cue cards everywhere he looked but dude is awkward. I still dig the face. 15-Jun-2024
I always returned G.I. Joe Kaz to his manly state. Even though I washed the make-up off there were shadows. The moment Pazuzu noticed, G.I. Joe Kaz mysteriously disappeared. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2-5. Harry was not stirring my pot until I noticed his thigh to leg ratio. I boiled, my lid began to shake, float and rise. I noticed that there was a lot of that. It almost repaired my soul. When Jessica confessed to having a child, Harry asked where she was. Exactly! We've seen more of Jessica than her daughter has. Prince Eric from an off-broadway production of The Little Mermaid was returned to sea many times but somebody always rescued him. Fuck, I'd probably rescue him too if he didn't talk. I will ask no questions before night, night and I need to call him Eric. The sea is full of mermaids. My other G.I. Joe doll looked like Kaz. He was a soldier in green combats. I tore up his uniform, created a wig out of his undershirt, painted his face and made G.I. Joe Nick fuck the shit out of him. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2. Ack! 08-Jun-2024
S2E1. We don't watch Izzy because of the way he talks, we just want to lick him and squish him. Izzy hooked up with a goddess, it took him 23 minutes to finish. He spent at least 20 minutes in the bathroom and three minutes convincing her it would be good for her career. Nick almost lifted his skirt. Thighs for a later episode? Boy, he's got some daddy legs. Nice. He looked like one of the G.I. Joes I played with as a kid but shinier. Some cocky dink bragged that he was gifted a cookie for providing a great fuck. Dude, I got a whole house and did nothing! Stevan's tattoos were more aggressive than he was. The soft boys were being traded for angry chokesters they can't control. Women have permission to be promiscuous if they sign off on it. 08-Jun-2024
Something tells me that most of the men and half the women, would have found a perfect match had they cloned Francesca. Abbey decided to strip the thighmaster of his crown and knight him a dick. 02-Mar-2023
A questionable sex partner sort of dumped Francesca. Yippee! He did it so he could stay and torture the fuck out of the man inside her. In the last aired episode he shaved his body to look more like a bitch. A gorgeous virgin who promises sex only in marriage is mandating that a partner suffer poor sex for the rest of their lives. He's not a lover, he's your brother. 24-Feb-2023
They should give camera people a special award for rewarding viewers with juicy thigh shots. The party started as soon as the Thigh King twitched in his shorts. They were everywhere. I haven't caught up yet but I hope somebody dumps Francesca. All she's doing is trying on different dicks. Like they were dresses at a bargain basement store. That poor sad flat black boy. 22-Feb-2023

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Over the Top, Relationships, Sex, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wig Crack

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15-Jun-2024


Summer House (2017-) WhimperUpgradeArf

Reunion Pt. 1. Dude, Carl has Ozempic neck. Ciara confused a fuck for a marriage proposal with ten kids. Whatever Wes is hiding must be inside his underwear because the part in his hair reminds me of a barber shop quartet. Lindsay and Carl are both liars except the giant slayed his prey with one cancellation. Why wasn't Robin Hood sitting on Amanda's lap? Isn't his ass worth it? 07-Jun-2024
Paige schooled Ariana DeBose on what a mentally challenged slut is. Is Robin Hood aware that we can flip him like a pancake and concentrate on that instead? Ciara kissed the aioli and didn't throw up. Gabby's problem is that she can't hit someone. Ariana DeBose? Bravo is not like BET. Carl needs to know that he can also be flipped and motor boated from behind. 27-Apr-2024
Ariana DeBose can replace Danielle and nobody would notice. Can Ciara please stop pretending to like white people? Can Lindsay stop pretending that there isn't more to her and the balloon guy than previously suggested? Is she diddying him to other girls? Is Amanda unaware that any man would eat and massage Robin Hood's ass if he asked? Is Lindsay aware that anybody would motorboat her giant, without asking, because of his hairy thunder thighs? 15-May-2023
Is dating Lindsay making the giant's hands smaller? 12-Mar-2023

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Fake, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird

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07-Jun-2024


Ultimatum: South Africa (2024-) Arf

I don't know if the individuals were breaking the rules or there were none. By episode 3 almost all the strangers hooked up, in one way or another. Some went all the way and others were inconclusive. One girlfriend cheated because she couldn't feel her husband's penis inside her. TG she found a cocky asshole to fill her side panels. Their partners were embarrassed and gaslighted. The white couple seemed out of sorts. She probably had a fantasy of trying a black man that he went along with because it stalled marrying her. She partnered with a horny boy who kept begging for it. White boy was partnered with a sad woman that had no idea why her boyfriend was enjoying the experience and lying about it whilst she was stuck with a white boy. The goldigger had every reason to want a real man with money and the men had every right to dump her. Men ask that a woman be respectful, a cook, attentive, a womb, a slut and someone that believes everything he tells her. They want to impregnate them so they can enjoy, at least, six months of guilt-free cheating because they need to fuck and they don't want to hurt the baby. I imagined Nick stuttering and Vanessa fainting at the reunion. It would have been hilarious. Book them tickets! 15-May-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Lifestyle, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, World

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16-May-2024


Love Is Blind (2020-) Howl

Reunion. I know Izzy was there so I could mentally lick him from head to toe and tongue the thing that he finds so interesting in his mouth. Every time Clay talked I wished they had cut to Izzy. I think his therapy was acting classes. He was a Shakespearean ham. If he really tried psychotherapy, I want proof. Show us how many anti-psychotic meds they prescribed. Jimmy got dragged because he can't tell time, has a big dick, awesome teeth and tells women the truth. Geez, does that mother spend any time with her daughter? Dude, what happened to You? He looks like his pregnant wife. Nick cleared the Lacheys from any liability. The reason that they failed at marriage isn't the Lacheys fault. The contestants' parents suck. Clay and the other homeless got to eat one more free meal before sex begging for future dinners. 13-Mar-2024
What part of "I'm engaged to a dick" did AD not understand? The latina has no idea what it's going to be like to share a blue eyed baby maker with her friends. She might have to slash some tires. Jimmy's speech was arousing. I had a desire to squish his face and lick his teeth again. The only parts of a fairy tale that are true are the bad ones. It's immature to keep believing in them. 07-Mar-2024
Forget thighs, we've got some roasted turkeys this season. Nick, you sly dog you, for teaching married eeked out men that they too can enjoy life after blind marriage.

If we have to change so much to maintain a relationship, then what is the point of being ourselves? They should add acting classes to sex education. 23-Feb-2024
E6. Unless Nick Lachey does something drastic, like wear shorts or tights, thigh season is over. Meet and greet was made uncomfortable by three Razzie nominees. Not only was AD not Barbie, she wasn't even Barbie's black friend. Petite means childlike. How could she not understand the reference? Her intense desire to get married trumped it. Clay can recognize that she is beautiful but she doesn't fulfill his type. He played along because it's better than waiting for his mother's social security check to deposit and he gets to eat fine food in paradise for free with a bombshell woman that his dick wont easily glide into. At the reunion, AD lent all the men her flopping attention, pinpointed her fuck target as Chelsea noticed and put one on her. The most hilarious meet and greet happened to Jimmy, his car salesman pitch, sexy tone and granite (but squishy) conceit, made it obvious to the audience that he was displeased when he saw her. He stopped before sitting to look at the camera directly and threaten it. He lied and charmed but kept giving clues to the viewers that yes, I'm no prince either but I have smooth skin, a cheeky smile, some hair, squishiness, and a big fat dick. At the group honeymoon, Jimmy focused on AD's chest and wanted everybody to know it, but especially AD and his fiancee. The way he approached AD is probably the same way he approaches all scared women wherever he goes. The first red flag was his face because all you can say to it is "what a bad boy you are" and lick his teeth. Laura is the last nominee. She did better than the guys but her compliments flitted by and bit. During the honeymoon she insinuated that fiancee's penis was as big as a baby banana. He pretended not to hear her. I can't wait until she shares the anecdote with the group. If you use gorgeous and beautiful constantly as a description it loses its validity. It's also disingenuous. Jeramy might need evaluation. His immaturity is prepubescent. It looks like someone cheats. The Lacheys must do everything in their power to bring back thighs. Never tell your girlfriends about fiancee's dick. At least two will find it secretly tempting and doable. 17-Feb-2024
S6E1. I was starting to get worried. There were no man thighs worth motorboating. TG Trevor showed up and was appropriately dressed. He knows how to play the game. The male pods' temperature should always be much higher than the women's. Matthew has great talk but is pre-recorded. Clay asked AD to confirm she was a Barbie doll. That damn movie. 19-Oct-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

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13-Mar-2024


Trevor Noah: Where Was I (2023) WhimperEarly Exit

Noah plays Detroit and spends most of his time talking about Germany's history (who cares) and woke shit (ack) that is not proven. He thinks he was there. He has nothing relevant to say, is not as funny as Matt Rife and is a little racist. 28-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Cliche, Comedy, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Egotistical, Insulting, Pitchy, Politics, Preachy, Predictable, Stand-Up, Tacky, Tedium, Unfunny, Writ Basic

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28-Dec-2023


Bachelor In Paradise (2014 - ) Arf

The producers made daddy Palmer look like one of the weird kids from The Polar Express. His eyes didn't move, they dialed down the light, the sparkle and he started looking through people, not at them. My apologies, sir. 12-Nov-2023
Oh no! I think the show is on realtime. The new girl said Brayden looked like Johnny Depp, nobody threw anything in the ocean and worst of all, they restricted daddy Palmer's cornea movements! No more eye fucking. They cut away just as soon as tears started to stream down his face. 04-Nov-2023
Mr. Palmer is a faithful husband. He only eyefucks men. It was fun to see Wells eat his burrito, though. Somebody looked like they were going to join a supremacist group after getting dumped. Brayden is a pirate that has all the women aflutter. Can all the girls fuck him and dump him so I can stop obsessing about him? Were asses covered up because they pooped themselves or because we might get excited? Yo, you can't be the fairer sex if you believe everything a man says. Kat's birthday cake looked nasty. Why are these people allowed to throw anything into the ocean? Doesn't she know that Flipper can get diabetes? 28-Oct-2023
Woohoo! The Palmer eye-fucked the newbie in an episode where not much happened. If you're demanding honesty from a man, don't do it like Kat. She hates the truth. 23-Oct-2023
Brayden's beauty suffers intense consequences because he can't deliver. Sean looks like a dream prince that Dreamworks dreamed up. There is no rational reason why Will should act sensitive when being dumped. Aaron needs to butt fuck his girl so she can stay regular and alive. She is a walking testament of why travel sucks. Wells is a cute package that the contestants keep unwrapping. The theme is past promises made to people they weren't attracted to and the people who can't accept it. Jesse Palmer hasn't eye-fucked anyone and that's worrisome. They're so good. Men only! The thighs are wide, the legs are nice, the men have bite, are succulent and falling apart for trying to make someone else happy. Is this how toxic masculinity is created? 18-Oct-2023

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Chemistry, Choices, Cliche, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Gay, Good Acting, Grating, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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12-Nov-2023


Married At First Sight UK (2015-) Woof

Reunion. I was put off that Hades and his minions had ceased to judge then I realized that not all foreign reality shows are made in the cryptic depths of Australia. The black judge is either gay or giddy. Jordan thinks that his supremacism won't show if he romances the same black subject five years later. George escaped from the Arkham Asylum. No George, you cannot control this chick because you can't sexually satisfy her. Kwame has James Bond issues. The lesbians are happy with any kind of pussy, even if it doesn't eat dog food. Hey judges, gay men can marry sisters but they fuck men. The pronoun starts with cis. If the lesbians can get one with a bow tie we can get one lousy butch. They exist. They made us. The supremacist stopped the show by being supreme. He dumped a weighty issue by adopting a more politically correct one. Thou mustn't abuse the power called race. We're running away together, bitch! If you complain you'll sound like a racist because she's black! Instant GET OUT OF JAIL card. 16-Jun-2023

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Egotistical, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Juvenile, Lifestyle, Pitchy, Predictable, Relationships, Romance, Silly, Tacky, Trashy, Writ Basic

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16-Jun-2023


Love Is Blind (2020) Howl

Reunion. Kwame was looking real fine tethered to his million dollar mink. Was the derogatory remark Marshall used on Jackie, "trans?" How lgbtq of him. Prop Bro You changed his looks but kept Joe's drawl. The gorgeous mad mane was replaced by chemicals that flattened their splendor. He squished a bigger body and he gained an intellectual's beard. He's either hiding his identity, ready to disappear or he's playing Joe's stuntman for the final season of You. Original Joe decided to channel Cuban Pete. All he needed was a sombrero and a set of bongos between his legs. I never realized how much insignificance he applies to the person that couldn't be ladylike. I wanted to be an earplug stuck on a couch listening to the Yous whispering:

OrgU: I'm losing it brother

ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)

OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe)

Slap!!!

Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!

The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023
S4E11. Prop Bro You hates strippers, especially unattractive ones. He usually eats them for lunch. When he was in the pool with Bliss he looked like he was imagining what parts of her he would fry first. If he were a serial killer that is. Chelsea kept acting the part even as a hairdresser burnt her hair. She's psychic too, like that pretty terrifying celebrity twink. She immediately pegged Kwame's sister because she was the only black woman to enter the bridal suite. 08-Apr-2023
S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023
S4E9. That lady Chelsea thinks that relationships are about being serviced. Kwame needs to fastball her. Marshall is petrified of vagina. Pretty eyes can't fuck. Jackelina, run! Zach is still property managing his You charisma. TG Bliss is desperate. If a man doesn't want to engage a partner in sex it's because he has an STD or doesn't have a knack for it. Dump. 07-Apr-2023
Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023
The women came to vamp and conquer men that will never satisfy them but hopefully, will keep them barefoot and pregnant with a ring on it. The feminist plan is to train men to lie about everything so the women can feel loved and acknowledged. A man will say anything to a woman for a steady prospective orgasm. It means less outside hookups, more money and lots of family time. The women turned the dating show into The Hunger Games because they hate other women. Hearing women fangirling to idiot things men make up, is disconcerting. The banter appeared read off a corny romance novel or movie, they memorized. When you swoon at bad singing you will regret it. Their were 2 Joes from You. One of them looked like an impassioned third Property Brother. The women that connived for them are not amused. Dude, Prop Bro is the hottest man there. It's okay. The contestants have realized that the purpose of the show is to get married and bear fucking children from all that they desire so they too can make regrettable choices in life. 15-Feb-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

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17-Apr-2023


Call Me Kat (2021-) BitesUpgradeArf

Stay just as you are. 12-Mar-2023
The passing of the great Jordan made me realize how the show has become a family staple. The alcoholic neighborhood bar where all inhibitions are lost, pretension is the love potion to making friends, sex is candied and sticky, cordial and silly are memories and its best intention is not to hate cats. Bialik channeled Blossom and it worked. I never thought I'd see her again. Good. Papi Jack nailed himself to the wall so I could behold his back spread. It might not be the biggest anymore but it sure looks tasty. Julian Gant. I'm going to start at the top of his head and work my way down. 09-Dec-2022
Papi Jackson accepted my offer and renamed his brand Waffle Man and I went to the supermarket and bought all of Aunt Jemima's syrup. Kat hates cats! How abominably delicious. Yeah! 11-May-2022
They need to stop exploiting cats and explore the biggest vagina on the gay planet. Dorks are out, whores are in. Cat ladies are delusional. 02-Apr-2022
You know what? Kat is growing on me. She hasn't released her Big Bang rigidity but busting out some Blossom on shrooms sort of moves would make the character a classic. Miranda couldn't give a fuck and neither should Kat. Good luck! 27-Mar-2021
Mayim Bialik presumes she's as adorable as her childhood character, Blossom. She's not. The support represents everything that she has publicly denounced so it's uncomfortable watching them glorify her when she'd rather talk to the camera than interact with them. Leslie Jordan deserves better, Swoozie Kurtz might as well retire and Cheyenne Jackson has swallowed way too many dicks to be considered a straight romantic lead. 23-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Comedy, Comfort Food, Corn, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Gay Swatch, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Static, Tacky, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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12-Mar-2023


Below Deck (2013-) Howl

Old lady cruisers take advantage of slave ship service by being demanding and hungry. Fraser is coasting on Captain's hard dick and because vaginas are the devil. Tony refuses to suck more of anything until he gets properly paid. Gay men with wealth are ridiculous. Ross' dick shuts down if she's bossy. I heard daddy's back. 01-Mar-2023
Never ask Alissa to do pronouns, she can barely pronounce Captain. 20-Feb-2023
The stews un-anchored the Captain by drowning in a gang mentality and not being useful. Chief Stew Fraser is looking to follow in a supervisory position. Doesn't work. I would never unnerve a captain on their own ship. They might sail off a cliff or something. Tony only comes alive when he is doing yoga or stripping for money. Deck Ross has sex six times a day. Business vacations must be rough on the wife. Katie would do it. Alissa was unaware that the walls carried her loud and condescending voice. THE CAPTAIN HEARD YOU through 2 walls and a door! 08-Feb-2023
I want Captain Daddy to return, saddle up with Captain Sandy and fire those two fanny fluttered wenches. One serves too much, the other too little. I'd also have Captain Dicksome sail across and give the captains a thumbs up, banners on the sails and lots of loud honking as the wingless birds exit. 10-Jan-2023
Fuck pinpoint accuracy, Captain Sandy needs a drink. That's why she's overeating and is probably gonna break a bottle atop that backstabbing ass bitch's head. SHE HEARD YOU ON THE RADIO! 06-Jan-2023
Captain Daddy is helming a boat full of digressing fools. Chief Stew Fraser is waiting for a gangbang to push him into aggression. Chef Loops decided that finagling questionable chemicals into meals for guests is a better option than being addicted. White girls will never get along with black superiors unless they're spraying spritzes of sugar, ie: soda. Chris Lamb is onboard to make us forget him, Ross McHarg was hired to not say "gay," and Tony will suck anybody's dick because in his native country, he would starve, if he didn't. 06-Dec-2022

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Real, Silly, Sweet, Tacky, Wit Snit

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01-Mar-2023


Love Is Blind (2020) Howl

The thigh king made a slight return and nobody thought to make the reunion a pool party. The eye king also made a return to apologize to his foreign partner for being wildly attractive. Trust no man who proposes a second time like you didn't hear him the first. A girl with no mothering capabilities surmised that her children will be small because her husband's dick is. Brennon's game is not wholesome. 15-Feb-2023
No one recognized that Bartiste is the thigh king. I know daddy looked like Pebbles Flintstone but to me he was a Bam Bam Rubble. I wanted to pull it and give him a back bath. Cole showed off his thighs too. As if. The females called Cole a good guy then tore him apart in the description." "You fat shaming hoochie fucking dirty ass broke lying motherfucker evil spawn of satan with dreamy eyes." The women were so supportive of each other that they made Cole cry. Putting Vicks on the tips of his fingertips and rubbing his eyes worked. Colleen was petrified to look Cole's way. She did it in the intro and ticked uncontrollably away. She saw those eyes. Yikes. I think she might have wet herself again. If she did that means that she suffered the whole hour without a diaper change due to the lack of commercials. Guess who's available to fuck somebody's wife? Dude, she lives alone! 09-Nov-2022
The show wastes the contestants and their guests' time by planning a fake wedding in the hopes of both parties saying yes? How humiliating. Nick's idea, wasn't it. 08-Nov-2022
S3E8. Would the thigh king agree to abort a future serial killer? No one should have the audacity to bear humans that can't exist without immense help. A lot of these kids can't communicate how they feel. We interpret how they feel. How do we know they're not saying, "I hate you, I hate you". Where's daddy? Is he working his thighs again while I suffer in pain? Yo, barbecue pork is giving the king a run for his money. What a beautiful fuck roast. Bartiste can shed some hair on Andrew's cloud puffs. Brennan looks like that but can't make any money? Ooh. Colleen was not at the club 'til 2:30 in the morning, she was washing her panties. They take forever to dry. They got wet from all the attention Cole was giving her. Both Matt and Cole were more argumentative with their fiancees than they were with each other. Their confrontation was bullshit. Matt really said, "please, I'm begging you, don't fuck my wife" and Cole said, "I won't" but thinking, "I'm gonna fuck your wife". Raven is going to regret taking an Ambien. She's gonna be woozy afterwards. Raven should have paired herself with the other thigh master if she wanted to live comfortably. We know he's a super daddy because he continuously spit it in everyone's face. Fuck other people on the side and go shopping. 06-Nov-2022
S3E7. You must become blind if you want to find love. Bartiste has cheating pork thighs, Cole has fuck all the girls silly eyes, Matt has kick your ass for being a slut ticks, Brennan's eyes turn black when nobody is looking and SK is an Ambien pill (30 minutes in your system before it knocks you out). It's about immature women that read fairy tales as children and believe them. For men, it's a "How To Pick Up Vulnerable Chicks" guide. Lie, lie, lie. 06-Nov-2022

Tags: Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

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15-Feb-2023


Winter House (2021-) Arf

S2E3. Luke is banished for having sexual thoughts about a girl that mentally promised him a blowjob. Women are warriors and baby factories, not sexual beings. That's what the LGBTQ community is for. Paige allows her lover to go bonkers because he would dump her for being a disobedient slut. Dumping the asshole would be female empowerment. Oooh, Kyle has love handles. He's squishy. Yum. I bet both sides taste like butterscotch. Kory is looking for a relationship that will adorn him in pearls. I know of a few straight men that can pretend to be his uncle. 13-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Cowboy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Lifestyle, NSFW, Reality, Relationships, Sex, Silly, Tacky, Trashy, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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13-Jan-2023


God Forbid (2022) Whimper

It makes fun of itself before we get a chance to. Mockumentary is its misplaced inspiration. When pool boy recounts his sexual encounters with mommy and daddy pastor he edges close enough to wink and fuck the camera. He was dying to show us his dick. Privileged beauty is bought for an unsatisfied housewife and a latent homosexual. When beauty tries to break his contract, god's disciples rebel which god's beauty avenges. The Trump years were exhausting and felt like a foreboding comeback. Pool boy's sister had way too many things to say about her brother's prowess. Tom Arnold makes a cameo. Religion is a business. 02-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Celebrity, Doc, Drama, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Lifestyle, Over the Top, Politics, Religion, Star Watt, Tacky, Trashy, Weird

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02-Nov-2022


Big Brother (2000-) Whimper

Predictability won. I think Monte is even more allergic, now. Anybody can become a winner if they coast on others, represent, wave, purr on stupid menx and endorse chips. The show could not redeem Kyle, with the beautiful legs, with an apology (for deciphering the whole reverse thing) so they included him in a fake audience "favorite"lineup. The winner was given the opportunity to distribute the wealth but chose to Oprah it. 26-Sep-2022
Julie Chen made a music video so I can talk about her. OK, I'm talking about her. Hahahaha! There is a gay romance brewing amongst Monte, who seems allergic to vagina and is posing as a disinterested cis man for money, and Taylor, a beauty contestant whose experience goes beyond waving. Turner is that squishy ass that cis men fuck accidentally when they're drunk or its dark. Brittany resembles a comedian you'd fire from SNL. Boy, I can't wait for Julie Chen to start talking. Wink, wink. 01-Oct-2021

Tags: 2000s, 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fatigue, Funny, Gay Swatch, Gross, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Manipulation, Overcooked, Political, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Tedium, Weird

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26-Sep-2022


Temptation Island (2019-) Arf

The reunion was all about Lascelles' back fat troubles and man socks. Loving it! 29-May-2022
Daddy host kept rocking those skinny jeans. Yeehaw, cousin. Lascelle's back fat did not leave alone. Bizarro Lance Bass is dating an asian meatball. The guy with the hair is nothing but a hairball. His girlfriend thinks she's Diane Keaton in an award winning drama about failed relationships and killing lobsters. 28-May-2022
Lascelles' back fat jutted out of his giant torso and it was spectacular. The tip of his well crafted ass sparked memories of cracked wishbones. It was a lighter shade of his skin color. It was so wonderfully squishy. I imagined his ass sparkling in the dark. Beautiful contrast. Kittykats came to nip at homeboy but he became enraged. He only has eyes for hostile women. Two men got to see their future exes get it on with Hollywood sex workers. Mark Wahlberg attempted to bring skinny jeans back. Please let him. Girls have extensions, men need to parade what make gays swoon. It's joyful. Brains don't count. It was a black thing wasn't it. You didn't want to see it constantly. Thank God for latin TV, they are always five years behind. Back to the horny women. They were both riotous but only one moaned for more and then more. Was the fucker at his limit or was she granting him the permission to add two more inches every 20 seconds? Either way. Yikes!! 14-Apr-2022
Daddy's teeth don't work in a bonfire setting either. Okay. Some of those idiot things are melting my loins. Ack! 13-Apr-2022
Open marriages exist when one partner grows weary of the other's sex. You think? 31-Mar-2022
Mark Walberg's teeth are so white that he clashes with the sun. If you can't trust a man because he texts other girls you are Sherlock Holmes not paranoid. Fuck you, therapists! None of the boys are worth fealty. They're ack! There is some pretty ones on the Hollywood hooker side of the group but the caliber of men is very "Oscar," not deserving this year. A beast brother is rocking blue eyes and Cindy Brady curls. Ack. A guy from the Bronx is auditioning for West Side Story 2. Double ack. One of the tempted males is rocking doggy style long hair. You know, the haircut that separates the weave from your hair by curling at a non realistic point like all the females are wearing. Ghastly. 18-Mar-2022

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cooking, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Home Improvement, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Twisty, Unity, Us, Weird

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29-May-2022




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